


Eros and Apollo

by doubtfulbones



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aliens have been humanized, Alpha Keith (Voltron), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Alternate Universe - Omegaverse, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hidden Secondary Genders, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other tags not listed because spoilers, POV Keith (Voltron), Pillow & Blanket Forts, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Singing Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn, Violence, altea is a country, everyone is 18+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:32:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 74
Words: 168,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubtfulbones/pseuds/doubtfulbones
Summary: After a new rule was added to the annual Hunger Games, Keith has to decide whether he wants to obey it or not.Shiro just told him not to make friends, just allies.And most importantly, not to fall in love.





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> wow hello again and welcome to another fanfic where i combine aus to make other people cry
> 
> bonus chapters will probably be available depending on how the story goes - i havent quite decided yet.
> 
> i have also changed the context of the hunger games slightly regarding events such as interviews, chariots, and more - and added a few, too.
> 
> characters such as nyma, shay and plaxum have been humanized, whereas the galra and alteans are a superior race. all will be explained. :p

_"Mom!"_

I bolted upright in bed, my heart racing at a million miles per hour, thumping, pounding out of my chest as I caught my breath, my throat raw. My lungs burned, sharp, shallow breaths slipping past my lips, my fingers clutching the sheets as if they were going to disappear. The image of my mother disintegrated into nothingness. Footsteps thundered to my room. Not again. Not another lecture. Please.

"Keith?" my father whispered, approaching the end of my bed. I put my head in my hands and sighed. "Keith, are you alright?"

"Nightmare," I murmured. "It was mom again."

My father sighed. It had been three years since we lost my mother, and now the house still felt like she was here. An unknown presence always seemed to surround us, like a force that was guarding us, protecting us from harm. My father swears he sees her ghost sometimes, which I can't accept. I wiped the sweat from my forehead as my father shuffled closer to me, looping his legs onto the mattress and crossing them.

"Was it the same?" he asked. "Was it the fire?"

I nodded.

District Twelve was renowned for their coal mines, their colossal, impressive fires, the smell of charred wood, and the gorgeous red embers that citizens of the District were fond of playing with - only to their painful dismay. Three years ago, there was a fire in the orchard where my mother and her group used to go out hunting; the District was poor, and we could barely afford anything unless we sold the animals we hunted. And thus, three years ago, while she was teaching me how to use a knife, a nearby mine was burning excess material which got out of hand, and instantly spread towards the dry forest where we were.

 _"Go!"_ was the last thing she said to me. " _Keith, you have to run!"_

Due to the devastation, my father never spoke for at least six months. Perhaps more. I had to become independent quickly at the age of sixteen and relive the fire every single day by returning to the same place, killing animals for food and lousy cash - but it was enough to afford something to eat and clean water. Whenever I go back to that area of the forest, I still feel fear, and smell the charred remains of the forest: a blackened mess right in front of the west clearing.

I cooked and cleaned for that six-month period. I certainly didn't mind, but I learned that the strongest figure in my family, my father, was condensed to almost nothing. It was a horrible moment. And now, I was getting nightmares.

"Your mother was a wonderful woman," my father whispered. It was hard to make eye contact in the dark. "And you know she's -"

"She's always with us, yeah, I know," I sighed, pushing my hair back. "I'm nineteen, dad, I know what death is."

He sighed, giving me a sympathetic smile. I hated it when we talked about our mother, especially when he wasn't there to see her die. I thought myself as selfish, which, I was - but my father had to understand that moving on  _was_ an option.

"Anyway," he whispered. "You've got better things to worry about. You're nineteen, like you said."

I frowned. I knew what he meant. "Don't remind me. Go back to bed."

My father laughed to himself as he walked out the door, and I shimmied back under the covers, lifting the curtain to glance at the sky. A combination of subtle pinks and purples decorated the clouds. It must have been early morning, but too dark to tell what the time was. I asked my father to check.

"Almost four," he said. "And get some sleep, you're an Alpha, remember."

I smirked. "Omegas need their sleep, idiot."

After that, I didn't fall asleep. The sudden reminder of my age sparked a flare of nervousness in my stomach. It was such a grim thing to think about - the Reaping was an annual event, a couple of steps before the Hunger Games, a fight to the death until there was a lone winner. A Victor, some may say. That person would then win a bountiful amount of riches for their District.

Twelve hasn't been a winner. Ever.

Alphas were the strongest. Physically and mentally. They had the mindset of a lion, as well as the courage, and often won. It wasn't difficult to lose when you were an Alpha, however, Betas and Omegas had competition. With the chance of having a heat during the Games, this made Omegas vulnerable to killing, or much, much worse. Betas, on the other hand, were a mixture of both. Some were less emotional and more physical. Some were the latter.

Since Alphas were the stronger race, it was often likely that, over the past few years as seen on television, they became favourites to the Capitol and were sponsored generously. A typical Alpha male or female could be sponsored way more products totalling an amount of money larger than the Districts combined. Which, I guessed, was unjust to the vulnerable Omegas.

However, Omegas were agile. Skillful. Smart. Intelligence was their role and the ability to manipulate enemies was often demonstrated during the Games. Rarely, they were crowd favourites - but they had a way of winning them over easily. Many Omegas had charm due to their allure and stature. Betas were favoured over them half the time. It was difficult watching them, overall.

I couldn't face the Reaping again. I was missed by a mere initial as the boy next to me stepped up last year. If the Princess had chosen the slip next to him, I would have been dead.

The next morning, my father and I watched the King and his daughter on TV. It was the day of the Reaping, and she was visiting Districts to choose the Tributes for this year's lineup. A ginger-haired man spoke confidently into a microphone, relaying the droning details of the Reaping; my father would always comment on how his obnoxious moustache looked fake.

"Would you watch me kill people on TV?" I smirked. "I doubt I'd last a second."

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow. "I think you'd probably win."

I rolled my eyes. "With a  _knife?_ Dad, I'd be shot with an arrow."

_"King Alfor is pleased to announce that he has made some changes to this year's 32nd annual Hunger Games!"_

"What is it now," I murmured, sipping on my tea, mocking his tone. "'Tributes can now kill themselves to get out easily'."

_"Due to the encouragement of peace among Districts and the Galra, Alphas, Betas and Omegas may choose to compete for a mate within the Games, instead of competing for death. There will instead be four winners instead of just one, which should be a delight to those anticipated for today's Reaping!"_

"Bullshit!" I hissed, my father glaring at me out of the corner of my eye. "That's ridiculous!"

"Language," he murmured.

"Sorry, but- "

_"The Galra would also like to remind them that fighting for Victor status is also an important element, and mates will not be taken seriously."_

"Dad," I frowned, "they can't just put on new rules each year."

"The Capitol is a mixture of high-status Alteans and the Galra, Keith," he chuckled. "They can do anything."

I groaned. Not only will it be heartbreaking for viewers, but it'd be frustrating to watch Tributes defend their mate just to get out alive. What a pussy thing to do. I scowled and placed my mug on the table.

"I've got you one of my shirts for the Reaping," my father muttered. "Your mother would be hoping that you're not chosen."

"Dad,  _I'm_ hoping that I'm not chosen," I stared at the TV screen. "You can't be left on your own."

My father got up to clean the dishes, and I sat there for a little while, replaying the Reaping scene from last year in my head. He looked so distraught. It was my first Reaping, and for many it was their first, too - but knowing that my father couldn't cope on his own, especially after mom died, struck fear in my heart. If I died in the Games after being chosen, he wouldn't have anyone. I'm his last hope and I'd hate to be the one ruining the rest of his life.

"Thanks for the shirt, though," I looked up at him. "I'm grateful."

"Hey," he smiled pitifully. "At least you're an Alpha, right?"

"Like I said," I shrugged. "You can't depend on that."

The television flicked to the last Victors of the Games, who stood tall on podiums, greeting the King and his daughter at the Capitol, as well as having the privilege of being congratulated by Zarkon.

Their alliance was a peculiar one. The Games brought the King and him together, and while Zarkon created the idea of having a lone Victor, and fighting to the death, the King spared those who won with mates. And that had happened once in my lifetime. Which, ultimately, was probably why the King had chosen four Victors this time.

To me, it was just another way to watch their stupid Hunger Games. It was about winning peace, not the crowd's hearts.


	2. The Reaping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the Reaping, and Keith doesn't feel any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to point out that if you see an unfamiliar name that doesnt belong in the voltron series, i'm making up random characters to fill in as tributes, dont worry!

Hot water was scarce but my father managed to run a hot shower, that lasted ten minutes. Ten minutes more than it should have. It seemed as if I was running out of time as the Reaping came creeping closer, thus my shower didn't last long at all. My father hung around in his room as I stepped out, grabbed a towel and shook the water off my hair. It had grown into a tousled mullet, but skin and hair care were the last of my problems. It seemed so insignificant to dwell on something so small when I was fighting for my life every single day. And now, as nerves rattled my stomach, and my breaths turned shallow, I walked into my bedroom to see a black button-down shirt and a pair of jeans. In fact, the same pair of jeans I wore on special occasions.

I hadn't worn them since mom's funeral.

"I'm sorry I picked the jeans," my father sighed, walking in behind me. So much for privacy; thank fuck for the towel. "Everything I have for you is either too big or too small."

"It's fine." I smiled anxiously. I looked over to the clock on the wall. The Reaping began at three in the afternoon. It was quarter-past two. My heart started thumping. "Do I just wear my boots?"

"Whatever," my dad shrugged. "It's the Reaping. People will wear anything to impress the Capitol."

I rolled my eyes. "And you think being dressed in black will impress the Capitol."

"You have a mullet, it'll impress anyone. Get dressed, the Peacekeepers are here."

The Peacekeepers wear striking white uniforms and carry around formidable riot shields and weapons to prevent another uprising or breakout. They're usually either Altean warriors or part of the Galra empire, and when you're faced with one, not knowing which is which can be horrifying. They're both equally as dangerous and hostile - but the Galra Peacekeepers make people fear for their own lives. Nobody dares to step out of place in front of a Peacekeeper.

I pulled on the shirt and jeans, looping a belt around my waist. It was difficult to fasten each button when my fingers were trembling with fear. I wasn't this nervous last time. I couldn't stop thinking about it. The death. The blood. Watching it last year was enough. Knowing that I was of age to compete led me into thinking that it was going to be me. I kept contradicting every single thought until I tricked myself into thinking I wasn't going to get picked. Or they'd pick someone else. Or, the inevitable - they'd cancel the Games completely.

"Are you done?" my father called. "The Peacekeepers are making their way here, and you know how they are about lateness."

I almost choked on my own spit. I couldn't do it. I couldn't step out there into the crowd again.

"Keith!"

"Coming."

Pulling on my boots and tying them, my head began to pound. I felt dizzy as I walked downstairs, face-to-face with the Peacekeeper pair at the door. They waited, cradling guns, as my father looked up at me with a hopeful gaze. Terrified, I stepped out of the door, with him following close.

The entire District was being followed by white soldiers, marching behind them as they moved towards the stage. I stayed close to my father, way closer than I did last year. I almost tripped and stopped in my tracks when I saw the identification system. My palms were sweaty. My upper lip went clammy. I saw boys and girls who'd reached the ripe age of eighteen that I'd met at school, nervously making their way over to the Reaping. 

"Good luck, son."

I turned to face my father. He had an intense worry in his eyes. And suddenly, I didn't know if I wanted to stand in line any more. I waved him goodbye hesitantly. There was a chance that I wouldn't be picked. I couldn't be. There were so many boys and girls as nervous, or maybe more nervous, than I was. The latter Districts already had their Tributes and I assumed that they were shitting themselves as much as I was.

Anxiously, I offered the soldier at the desk my finger. A blood sample was taken with a minor sting. My name registered and flashed up on the screen.

"Thank you. Next."

After that, I walked over to the male half, feeling queasy. My father was way behind me now, but I knew his eyes were on the two large, glass bowls at the front. One for female names, and one for male. We lined up in alphabetical order, so with some forced shuffling and organisation from the Peacekeepers, we finally settled. My heart was in my mouth.

"You smell like an Omega," the guy next to me spat to the person opposite. "We'd have no chance."

"We don't have a chance anyway." I muttered. He turned to me quickly.

"Who the fuck do you -"

The crowd quietened.

Our palms rested on our chests as the Princess appeared, walking confidently onto the stage, her heels clicking against the wood. Her purple-silver hair was tucked into a bun, decorated with all kinds of extravagant gemstones and flowers. The Capitol was famous for their colourful, absurd fashion sense, and since Princess Allura was a Royal, she had the title of being the most preposterous, but somewhat bizarrely gorgeous woman in the Capitol. A satin dress hung from her slender body. Long, false eyelashes accentuated her sapphire eyes.

Her gloved hand tapped the microphone, a loud squeal emanating from the speakers. I flinched.

"Good afternoon, District Twelve!" she trilled. "Welcome to your thirty-second annual Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favour. Before we start, I'd like to show you all a very special video, all the way from the Capitol."

I exhaled, feeling sick with nerves. It was the same video shown every year, explaining the uprising between King Alfor and Zarkon, the Alteans and the Galra, before they formed an alliance. The Galra wanted fighting for entertainment. King Alfor wanted romance for entertainment. And thus, by bringing Alphas, Betas and Omegas together, they had the best of both worlds. It was a bloody, gory, disgusting mess.

When the film ended, butterflies battled in my stomach. I wiped my sweating palms on my jeans, hoping I wasn't releasing a weakness hormone. I wasn't  _that_ vulnerable, surely? I'd have everyone's eyes on me. I couldn't take the embarrassment.

The Princess glided over to the female names, a bright, white smile shining to the crowd. The Capitol was crazy. She seemed way too excited to watch people kill each other on screen. Her hand delicately dipped into the glass bowl, her fingernails painted an elegant purple.

"Nyma Allcott."

There was a shuffle in the female section, and then they parted. A fair-skinned, blonde-haired girl walked sheepishly up to the stage, her hands visibly trembling as she gripped the metal banister. Peacekeepers watched her like a hawk; anything was prey to them, and anything could be killed. If she dared to step down, she'd never see the light of day again.

"Ah! Perfect," the Princess smiled, shaking Nyma's hand. Her shoes clicked against the wood once again, her hand aiming for the male bowl. "Now for the boys."

I bit my lip and held my breath. There was no way.  _There are so many boys here and the majority of them are going to be as scared as you, Keith_. There was such a slim chance. I looked at the floor. I fidgeted. My father would probably be waiting with baited breath right now. I hated that she took such a long time to increase suspense. Her fingers plucked a slip from the bowl, ripped it apart, and her glossy lips read the name.

"Keith Kogane."

I glared at her, as the boys around me shuffled to make way. No. This wasn't possible. I couldn't be chosen, my father had nobody else! Nerves had me pinned to the floor and if I didn't move now, I'd either be pushed up or shot. I didn't know what to do. My stomach felt weak with anxiousness. My legs quaked. I forgot how to breathe.

Slowly, I walked over to the staircase and climbed it, feeling the entire District's eyes on me. I didn't want to see my father's face. I didn't want to speak to him, either. With sweating palms, I grimaced as I shook the Princess's hand, a nervous smile cracking my dry lips. She looked thrilled. Excited. The complete opposite of what we were all feeling and all I wanted to do was hide under my blanket and cry.

"Here are your Tributes for this years Hunger Games!" she smiled, stepping back. "Go on, you two. Shake hands."

I turned to Nyma. Her eyes were completely glazed over and she was shaking more than I was. Avoiding eye-contact, I shook her hand; her grip was loose and unsure. I couldn't, however, identify her scent. 

Then, I averted back to the crowd, my eyes immediately and regrettably falling on my father. He had the most distraught, disappointed look upon his face, and now I was regretting something I couldn't control. I had no choice. I was being sent to an arena where I'd fight against other people for, for what? A mate? Victory? Riches?

When we were ushered into the briefing room, I waited for my father so I could say goodbye. I suddenly had a carefree attitude about the Games. I didn't want to fight for a mate. I didn't want to fight at all. All I wanted to do was help my father, and maybe become the Victor, to make my District less of a laughing stock. The Princess flashed the crowd a smile as the speakers boomed, the anthem slithering out. After a while, the crowd dispersed. A Peacekeeper closed the door.

My hands quivered. Not only were Nyma and I complete strangers, but we were going to meet other people who were going to be just as nervous - however, it didn't stop me from losing confidence. I hoped I was going to meet someone who I could trust, and form an alliance with. Although, the chances of that seemed slim. I couldn't trust just anyone. Maybe it was better to go alone.

"Keith," my father uttered, appearing at the door, closing it with a nervous, shaky breath. I turned sharply knowing that this was probably the last time I had the chance of seeing him. It was a harrowing thought, and my father knew that too. 

"You can't blank out again like you did when mom died," I breathed, wrapping my arms around him. "You just can't. You have to be independent. You can't rely on the village to save you again."

"I won't -"

"No." I looked at him sternly. "I mean it. You  _can't_. I might not be around any more in a few weeks and you have to live with that information."

I hated seeing my father upset. I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at me. I was his only child, and his only family. I didn't want him to have nobody else. I didn't want to let him down at all.

"Good luck, Keith, please -"

Before my father could say anything else, a pair of Peacekeepers arrived at the door, and suddenly I didn't want to let go. I clutched his shirt one last time, still having a father-son connection. He was torn away from me after that. I wanted to hear his plea. 

My heart began pounding again as the Princess arrived at the opposite door. A path lay in front of her, leading up to the train. It was heading to the Capitol, I assumed, so I avoided her gaze and walked ahead, feeling Nyma follow me. I could already hear voices inside, and they seemed too upbeat and cheerful. I wasn't ready. I felt far too young to be doing this, but I was nineteen. Nineteen. I could be doing anything, and now I was about to fight to the death for people's entertainment.

With my heart in my mouth and my legs quaking, I boarded the train.

 


	3. Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith meets his lineup.

The inside of the train was a luxury I thought I'd never live to behold.

A small bar was situated to the left, with a marble counter, crystal-encrusted taps, and expensive glasses. A seating area flaunted leather couches and blue armchairs, along with a bowl of fresh fruit, beautiful, unknown flowers, and a flat-screen television fixed to the wall. Blue carpet lined the floor in a plush, fluffy path, leading all the way to the next car. That was where I heard the voices from. Nyma's gasps of awe made the Princess chuckle. At least someone was getting some entertainment out of this.

"Before you head into the next car, we're going to inject you with a serum, like so..."

Someone gripped my arm with a leather glove and hastily stuck a needle in my arm. I exclaimed in pain and surprise, wincing as I felt a burning sensation sear through my bicep. It was a Peacekeeper, so I didn't dare to resist. Nyma flinched, making the same sound of agony as I did. I'd had a vaccine when I was little and even  _that_ hurt less than the serum did.

"Now, you may go through," the Princess smiled. "Your District mentor is already in there, or, he might be in the bar car."

"Who's through there?" I asked. The Princess laughed.

"Your competitors, of course. Move quickly."

I didn't know whether I wanted to meet them so soon. With hesitance, I approached the door and it slid open automatically. Everyone, female and male, of different ages between eighteen and twenty-one, were talking amongst themselves holding flutes of champagne as the train set off. As soon as I stepped in, a man with a shaved undercut and an ominous scar looked up from his drink, and grinned. The other Tributes hushed, their heads slowly turning, one by one.

"Ah, Twelve," he smiled. "I've been waiting for you. Grab a drink, talk to the others. I'll set some mentoring terms in a second."

"He's our mentor?" Nyma whispered. "That means he's won this thing once, right?"

I felt my cheeks growing hot the more I stood there, so I snatched a glass from the table and walked into the car as the Tributes continued their conversation. A large window at the back caught my eye, so I decided to skip the small talk and head there instead. It didn't seem so bad knowing that there were other people just like me who were as frightened as I was, but seeing them talk so fluently and confidently reassured me completely. The Princess arrived soon after, and talked to the man with the scar on his nose. I would have made it to the back of the room, if there wasn't a long banquet table in the way. I sighed. Was the Capitol this unpredictable?

"Hello Twelve," a female voice piped up behind me, and I turned quickly, almost breaking my glass as my fist clenched. She must have looked the youngest, which was eighteen. Her auburn hair was tied into a ponytail, her bangs curled and swept to the side. A pair of glasses perched upon her nose. She wore tight-fitting trousers and a polka-dot white shirt.

"Uh, hello -"

A boy who looked just like her whisked to her side, wearing almost the same brand of glasses. Siblings.

"You look nervous, Twelve," he laughed. "I'm Matt. This is my sister Pidge."

I shook his hand, before shaking his sisters'. They both looked at me with gleaming smiles. "Shouldn't we all be nervous?"

"It's in a couple of weeks," Pidge rolled her eyes. "District Five. We're power. What's your name?"

A laugh louder than every single voice trilled into the air. A tall, tanned boy was sat by the window, his white smile contrasting his honey skin, casually leaning against a glass cabinet. Someone was obviously having a whale of a time flirting with every other girl on the train.

"Keith," I muttered. Confidence is key. "Keith Kogane. Did one of you volunteer?"

"Matt did," Pidge swirled her drink and took a sip. "Couldn't see his sister die."

"Actually," Matt huffed. "I realised we could work together if there was more than one Victor."

I raised a brow. "So I'm guessing you're both not fighting for a mate, like the King announced."

Pidge shrugged. "You get the best of both worlds if you're killing and kissing at the same time."

"Tributes!" the Princess called, gesturing to the table. "Settle, have a seat. We're going to run through your briefing."

"See ya, Twelve," Matt grinned. Pidge waved. I sighed. Were they really going to be a pain in the ass and ally?

I searched for my District number, before realising Nyma had an empty seat beside her. I quickly walked across and sat down, tapping my fingers against the white cloth. The tanned boy was leaning back and talking to a girl three chairs down from him. His laughter began to irritate me. It sounded forced.

"Hello, everyone," the Princess smiled. "Don't get too excited about killing one another. You have a couple of weeks yet, so don't get too nervous, either."

I felt the siblings stare. I shot them a sharp look. They averted their gaze.

"We've just injected you with a serum that enables all hormones and pheromones to be blocked," she explained. "This way, none of you will be able to pick up each other's scent before the Games begin. They will automatically deactivate."

"Why?" the girl beside the tanned boy questioned, her brow furrowed. He had his arm over her chair. "It's not like we're gonna -"

"It's to prevent you from identifying one another. You have no way of knowing who anyone else is, so your status is as average as anyone else."

I sighed in relief. No wonder it was smelled so clean in here.

"Why is status so important?" I asked. "We're all killing each other in this stupid thing, right?"

The Princess scowled. "It's tradition."

"It's a pointless tradition, quite frankly," I leaned back and crossed my legs. Pidge almost choked on her drink. "You're either watching us kill one another or have sex on live TV."

The Tributes laughed lowly, snickering collectively. The tanned boy leaned forward and glared, his grin faltering. I stared right back. There was no way we were going to introduce dominance this early if I had no idea what his name was, or his secondary gender. Not that I cared - I disliked him. He seemed egotistical.

"As I was saying," the Princess sighed. "Your mentors will assist you when we arrive at the Capitol, and while we're travelling at two-hundred miles per hour, I doubt that'd take very long at all. Please sit back and talk among yourselves."

The table erupted into conversation again. The boy's eyes narrowed. His glare was formidable, but not threatening enough to make me scared of him. I averted my gaze somewhere else, and decided to talk to Nyma instead.

I would have, if my gaze didn't fall on the man with the scarred nose, who shook his head in disappointment.

"What?" I muttered. Nyma smirked.

"You dishonoured the Princess and their tradition, Keith," she explained. "You made her look like a joke."

"I was being honest," I hissed. "I don't want to be here as much as anyone else. Better to go out with a bang, right?"

Nyma sighed. "You're so odd."

Suddenly, the Tributes in the room gasped collectively and stood up, rushing to the windows to gaze at the Capitol as it whisked by. I got to my feet and slid in beside Nyma and a boy from District Eleven. They were definitely honest noises of awe - skyscrapers, silver rivers, white, modern buildings, and golden drapes were all the Capitol boasted. And it was beautiful. I thought it was a little less luxurious according to those who visited, but now that I was gazing with my own eyes, I suddenly had a yearn to live there.

"We seem so out of place," Nyma breathed, waving at the citizens in the station. "Do you think they'd accept us? We're like the poorest District in Altea."

"The Capitol accept you if you accept them," the Princess explained. "Being likeable and lovable is key. Don't make them hate you."

Nyma eagerly waved, with the brightest smile, as the train halted to a stop. Each District flooded out in order, so her and I waited until everyone was ushered out. The Princess smirked.

"Nyma understands," she chuckled. I scowled. 

The sudden brightness strained my eyes as I walked beside Nyma, attempting to smile and wave, act casual, do anything for them to make me worthy of a sponsor. But knowing how selfish I was, and how my Alpha traits were more dominant than my gentle ones, I gave up entirely. Their fashion sense bewildered me. Some of the purple-skinned Galra had microdermal implants to make themselves seem more formidable. The high-status Alteans smiled encouragingly, their eyelashes fluttering, their gloved hands waving delicately. They cheered and screamed in elation, cameras snapping, hands clapping - I couldn't help but feel welcome.

All of this made me miss home. It was too advanced, both through technology and society. I loved their culture, and the way they introduced themselves, but it was nothing like home.  _My_ home. Where my father was. He was probably worried about me.

"Come along," the Princess smiled. "This way. Preparation is key."

The Tributes dispersed into a tall building. It was one of the skyscrapers I saw earlier. "Preparation?" I asked.

The Princess left. I had no way of knowing where to go next.

 


	4. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beauty prep. A bunch of events are thrown at Keith at once.

Preparation, as the Princess mentioned, wasn't exactly what I had in mind. And I hated it. I led down in silence on a surface, much like a massage table at a salon, surrounded by a curtain for privacy. The other voices around me, yelping and grunting in pain, were the Tributes also forced into this. A man and a woman, both with ridiculously-coloured hair, glowing symbols upon their cheeks, and vibrant eyes stood to the right, hanging up a shower head on a portable cabinet.

It was beauty prep, which only made me feel shamed. As if I was the filthiest Tribute in the room - I couldn't see the others for obvious reasons, but knowing that my District was renowned for mining, the poor, poverty; now that I thought of it, I was probably taking the longest to hose down. Nyma might have this problem too, I thought, but as the woman approached me, a thin, white strip in her palm, I realised we were all going through the same thing.

My hair was wet. Horribly wet. My body was sodden and not even the gold-blue robe I had draped over me could absorb the soap and water. I felt every little drop snake its way down my spine. I glared at the woman as she applied a viscous substance to the strip. It was bright blue.

"What's that?" I asked, to no reply. The man on the right approached my face with tweezers. I froze. "You're not -"

"Everyone has to go through this prep," the woman explained, applying the strip to my leg. It felt strange, until the heat set in, and she ripped the strip off, taking every hair out of its follicle. I flinched in pain. This was humiliating. "You're doing better than last year's male Twelve."

I bet the tanned boy glaring at me in the train didn't have this kind of problem. He looked like a person who kept himself well-groomed, according to his complexion. If he was a flirt, and a self-absorbed idiot - there was no way he  _wasn't_ an Alpha. I saw myself as selfish and if I had to kill him first in the Games to win, I wasn't afraid. However, as the man painstakingly plucked my eyebrows, my eyes began to water, and a string of swears filled the air from the right side of the room. They both ceased their actions. I smirked.

"Someone's not complying," she muttered, ripping off another strip of hair. "We're going to need more wax."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm right here -"

"We're going to need to remove your robe, also."

My blood ran cold. Privacy was such a must to me and I didn't care if the Capitol didn't regard it. I had  _dignity_. "Why?" I muttered. "Why is that such a -"

I was interrupted again. I didn't want to lose my patience, though.

"If you're going to be competing with other Alphas, Betas and Omegas," she explained. "You need to look presentable. Especially if your designer chooses something revealing to wear, or you find a mate in the arena."

"I'm not fighting for a mate in the arena," I murmured. "It's pointless."

They both chortled. I sighed.

After having ever single anomalous hair ripped out of my body, including having my eyebrows plucked excruciatingly slowly, I was transferred to another bright white room. This time, I was certain that I was on my own. I finally had peace and quiet, apart from the commotion going on outside. The city was loud and bustling, and every single noise that came from the heart of the Capitol could be heard anywhere. I began to relax, which surprised me. Knowing that I was fighting against people that were perhaps stronger than me, and discovering their secondary genders very quickly in the arena, I had a sliver of confidence.

Not too much, however - I still had to learn their strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully my mentor would run through all that. I didn't want to head in clueless, especially if I was an Alpha, and using my strength as an unfair advantage. I didn't even know how strong I was, both emotionally and physically.

Nonetheless, I was so clueless about what happened next. I was still led on a cold surface, but at least my skin was dry. My hair, however, was damp. I smelled like cherries and other kinds of forest fruit, which was completely contrary to my rough appearance. Although I probably didn't even look that rough any more; my chest, legs, and other personal areas were smoother than the surface I laid upon. I didn't know if I liked the feeling.

Suddenly, a door slid open, and I sat up to greet the guest coming in. It was another man, quite large in build, but he had kind, warm eyes and a gentle smile. He looked trustworthy, and by his purple suit and overdone makeup, I could tell he was one of the organisers for the Games. Maybe he was the designer, I thought. The only thing going through my head was what was I going to wear, and why?

"You must be Keith," he smiled, interlocking his fingers and relaxing them on his navel. "My name's Hunk. I heard you're quite stubborn. You disrespected the Princess."

"I didn't disrespect her," I muttered, looking at the floor. "She has a thing with people being  _likeable_ and I'm not one of them."

Hunk laughed heartily. "How do you know you're not one of them? The Games can change you, Keith. You just need to put on a false smile until you truly begin to fall in love with the audience. And your face on live television."

I groaned. "I don't smile."

"Aren't you a ray of sunshine," Hunk raised a brow. "Besides, even if you don't feel like impressing people now, I'm gonna put you in something that'll do the work for you."

I sighed. I didn't want to be  _likeable_. I wanted to be  _tolerable_. As in, I wanted acquaintances, not friends. Although, if I had to be forced into the ideal mindset of fighting for a mate, I guess I had to try and look presentable. None of the Tributes, however, seemed  _attractive._ Not to me, anyway. None of the females struck anything in my heart.

I didn't even know if I _liked_ girls. And if the Capitol was going to accept that.

"Why am I getting something to wear all of a sudden?" I asked. "Am I stripping in front of a live audience?"

Hunk laughed. "You will later. But no."

"What do you mean  _later_ _?"_ I squeaked. I crossed my legs and shoved my elbows in my lap. "I'm not- Hunk, what- "

"We're going to prepare you for the Chariots. You're going to ride the Chariots among the other Tributes to represent your District. It's the overall opening ceremony. The Secondary Ceremony will be to flaunt yourselves to other Tributes, and finally, a Finale, although I don't know if they call that any more."

"A Finale?" I asked. I was also terrified of the idea of wearing next to nothing on stage. "Is the Secondary Ceremony the naked one?"

"The Finale is a party for the Tributes on the penultimate night. It's like a get-together. You're searching for a mate, right?" Hunk smiled. I scowled. "And, well, sort of. I don't mean you'll be naked. Partly. But not entirely."

"What's with the mate thing all of a sudden?" I hissed. The Capitol had a strange way of celebrating and I _loathed_ it. "It's fucking ridiculous."

Hunk didn't seem at all impressed with my language, but I was annoyed. I didn't want to go home with someone. I wanted to go home and help my dad. It wasn't like I could beg for mercy; the Princess called our names with a smile and seemed to laugh whenever we disliked her opinions and traditions.

"The 'mate thing' has always been a 'thing' whether you like it or not," Hunk sighed. "Since Alphas and Omegas helped each other during the games, some also fell in love, some got pregnant. We've had a couple of non-consensual moments in the past."

I swallowed. I couldn't face all that. I didn't have the nerves nor the responsibility. "Are you serious?"

Hunk nodded. "Betas and Omegas were usually the ones who rebelled against the Alphas. They went after them to eliminate the stronger ones, and then it was just a case of who died next."

"So," I frowned, my nervousness causing heart palpitations. I was wrong. Alphas  _were_ targeted because of their strength. Suddenly I didn't want a secondary gender. "Are you saying that Betas and Omegas are more likely to ally? Is that why Alphas get so...antsy?"

"It's kind of different every year," Hunk shrugged. "But don't worry, your mentor will run through everything with you. We need to make haste and get you clothed."

Everything was being thrown at me at once and they expected me to absorb it. I was ushered into a room with more men and women with peculiar hairstyles, of many different colours of the rainbow. Some were Galra, and had purposely had surgery on their ears to make them either rounded, or pointed - one female had a heart cut into the tip. I couldn't imagine the pain they went through just trying to make themselves look so absurd.

A rack holding outfits draped in protective plastic was wheeled to the left. My robe was whisked away when I was pushed in front of a large, ceiling-to-floor mirror, and the sudden cold made me shiver. I gaped at myself. There wasn't anything - dirt, hair, cuts, grazes - left on my skin. A dressing table situated to the left had another mirror, draped in bright lights. All kinds of vanity products, including a tattoo kit, was placed upon the surface. I swallowed hard as the designers wrapped measuring tapes around my waist and pulled hairbrushes through my tangled hair at the same time. I flinched at every knot they pulled; I really hoped they took care. I didn't want to look like  _them_.

"Sit," the Galra female instructed. I slumped into the leather chair as I felt the sudden warmth of a hairdryer. Having this sort of treatment was odd - I'd never had this at all back at home. I watched Hunk pick out a black bodysuit behind me from the rack, rip away the plastic, and hold it up to the mirror. It was decorated with gorgeous shades of orange and red, perhaps to symbolise the fire in our mines.

It made me remember something I'd wanted to forget. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I couldn't think about how lonesome my father must have felt back at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im loving all the responses i get from writing this omg?? ily guys sm <33
> 
> we'll get to the tanned boy in a moment ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	5. Chariots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith decides to get out of his comfort zone. He loses his cool with someone new.

I definitely didn't look the same, and for once, I enjoyed appearing as if I'd made an effort. Contour accentuated my sharp jawline and cheekbones, dark eye-makeup emphasised my grey-purple irises, and the bodysuit I wore was tight enough to reveal muscle underneath - I think that was the only thing that caused my confidence to drop slightly. Despite Hunk holding up mirrors behind me so I could see what I looked like from different angles, I still didn't feel like a people-pleaser. I still didn't know how to genuinely smile; well, I knew  _how_ to smile. I rarely did it out of happiness. I hadn't seen Nyma for hours.

"It's inspired, of course, by the mining industry," Hunk grinned. "I've modified your boots to cause a small combustible reaction that'll light tiny embers and flames as you walk by. Nothing that'll hurt you, it's fake."

I exhaled slowly. "So I could literally burn if I ran or something."

"Again, fake flame," Hunk laughed. "But when you get out into the sun, if the weather's depending, I'm hoping something else'll activate, too."

After that, I walked with Hunk towards the next room, where I met up with Nyma and our mentor. He looked stern, yet apprehensive, and I didn't know whether he was anxious about the Chariots, or about my performance. Was he thinking about me letting everyone down? Now I really felt under pressure. Nyma wore the same black suit as I did, with the same boots, but had a long, tulle skirt fixed to her waist.

The ecstatic noises of the crowd were right outside and we were still nowhere near the chariots. I walked close to Nyma, who seemed just as nervous as I. Our mentor stuck close behind us as we approached a large door, guarded by two Galra soldiers. Their piercing eyes shot through my very soul as we halted.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier," our mentor said. "My name's Shiro. We don't have much time, but I'm gonna set a few rules -"

"Rules?" I smirked. "Seriously -"

Shiro glared at me. There was something so threatening about his gaze that I went quiet immediately.

"You need to work on that." Shiro frowned. "You're already making Twelve look like a laughing stock. Step up your game, Kogane. Smile a little bit. Nyma's setting a standard. Follow it."

"How're you gonna ally?" Nyma sneered. "I'm definitely not looking for something like  _you_ in a mate. You must be an Omega."

"Focus." Shiro hissed as I shot Nyma a glare. "It's not about mates, it's about sponsors to stay alive."

"I said that!" I gritted. "But Hunk said mates are what makes the Games interesting!"

Shiro sighed, his gaze averting to the floor. "Look, both of you. Please make an impression on yourselves. Forget about finding a mate, and focus on your strengths and weaknesses."

The Galra soldiers parted, and the door slowly swung open, eliciting a low, metallic groan. A large room was ahead, full of twelve black horses and chariots, all but eleven with their Tributes standing nearby. They transferred between each District from time to time, conversing with other Tributes, talking about mates, allies, the Games, and more. Some of them wore beautifully assembled outfits, and others were unfortunate, made by designers that didn't seem as experienced as Hunk was.

"Big smiles. Remember sponsors," Shiro said, the door closing. "I'll see you guys soon. Good luck."

Was that it? Was that all the advice he was going to give us?

Nyma and I began walking towards our chariot, spotting Pidge and her brother on the way, dressed in shades of blue and yellow to represent their district. Pidge's hair was tucked into a tight beehive, decorated with tiny rhinestones, her eyes accentuated with glitter. Matt was dressed just as similar.

Hunk was right - as we walked, with the heels clacking against the stone floor, embers shattered onto the floor and extinguished into nothingness. Nyma boarded the chariot and gave me the snake-eye.

"You ruin this and I'll kill you first." 

"Why do you care so much?" I spat, placing my hand on a horses' mane. "You don't have to be near me during the arena, asshole."

"Keith, you are such a -"

"If it isn't Twelve," a voice purred behind me. Nyma's expression immediately fell into one of forelsket. I didn't even want to turn around; I already knew who it was. Out of politeness, I turned to see the tanned boy who glared at me back on the train. His designer decided to go with his looks - his muscular chest was bare, along with the majority of his legs from the thigh down. I had to maintain eye contact to ensure that he wasn't completely naked. He was dressed in shades of blue. His sapphire eyes matched his makeup. Upon his brown locks sat a wreath decorated with golden leaves. His gaze settled on Nyma, before he winked. 

"If you're going to be a flirt, you can fuck off." I muttered. 

"Whoa," he laughed nervously. "I only came to say hello."

"Yeah, and be an annoying prick."

Nyma laughed. "Keith, leave him be."

"Anyway, I'm Lance," he winked. "District Four."

"Is that why you're half naked?" I smirked, half-groaning at the same time. Four was fishing, and one of the wealthiest Districts. Lance was going to be a pain in the ass; of course he was egotistical. "So you're a water boy with daddy's money."

Lance raised a brow. "Actually, sweetheart, I work for my money by swimming at least ten miles a day, which is the opposite to your...whatever the fuck your poor District is."

 _Sweetheart._ I was going to kill him first. However, the swimming explained the muscles he flaunted. His designer probably created his outfit around them to boost his self esteem.

"Are you gloating?" I narrowed my eyes. "What's your full name?"

"Lance McClain," he swallowed.

"So,  _Lance McClain_ ," I snorted. "Are you having fun being a fucking flirt?"

"I-I wouldn't say _flirt_ -"

"Let me finish." I hissed. "I swear, I will  _not_ hesitate to break your neck on live television. And I hope you're enjoying being a heart-breaker and whore because it'll get you nowhere."

Lance's eyes widened, his cheeks flushing a bright red. "Have you not heard the term  _make people like you?_ If so, you're not doing particularly well."

I started fuming. "I'm not trying to make people like me."

"Maybe you should, mullet," he snorted, waving at Nyma as he walked off. "I think you'll die quicker than me!"

I scowled, stepping onto the chariot as Lance hopped onto his. He high-fives his partner and sturdily gripped the bar in front. I felt Nyma's glare on the side of my face.

"What is wrong with you?" she muttered. "Can you maybe  _not_ prevent us from getting sponsors? Maybe act a little mature?"

"I'd love to," I sighed. Lance turned and grinned slyly as he travelled into the clearing, the cheers of the crowd getting louder as his District was called. "Are sponsors even that important?"

"Yes?" Nyma scoffed. "Keith, fucking smile for once. Not everyone is out to get you."

The siblings were next. Pidge's skirt flowed unnaturally slowly as the wind hit her. It was as if it was mechanic. I waited, chewing the inside of my cheek, my palms getting clammy as the final Tributes were introduced into the Capitol. All I had to do was fake smile. I could do that - I did it all the time. Lance's irritating winks and pet names rattled in my head. I had to be better than him. I couldn't make the Capitol like  _him_ more than me. He was going to cause such a mess in the arena.

_"District Twelve! Nyma Allcott and Keith Kogane!"_

It was happening. And I was standing as embarrassingly stiff as possible. The sound of horseshoes hitting the floor echoed through the clearing, as it was soon masked by the screams and enthusiastic cheering of the crowd. The anthem played as I watched my face appear on the drapes on every single streetlamp, and then I realised, I really was going to be everywhere. Nyma was waving - she caught a couple of flowers thrown by the audience, but the smile she put on was forced. I could do better.

The sun peeped out from over the clouds, and suddenly I felt a burst of flames upon my shoulders. My suit had transformed into smouldering magma, still retaining its shape, but I gasped in awe at the sudden change of colour. Hunk really was impressive. The crowd screamed in elation at our transformation as I tried to get a hold of my new suit. Same suit. Different colour.

Eventually, I managed to relax. All this was going to be over in five minutes. I hoped so, anyway - and then I could yell at Shiro for being so useless. I was far away from home, tired, and annoyed; I couldn't let anyone else get in my way. I was a selfish Alpha. That's all I knew.

With a little bit of confidence, I stretched my back and sighed a little, before performing with a forced smile. At least it was a little more believable than Nyma's was, and as I gained more and more confidence, my relaxation increased, and I was catching red roses thrown from the crowd as I waved. It was exhilarating. Maybe I could be liked. Maybe I could  _actually smile_ , Keith, you fucking statue.

With my bouquet of roses cradled in my arms, we were the last to be round up in front of the Royals, King Alfor, his daughter, and Zarkon. They were both going to be controlling the Games with their contradicting opinions and unpredictable advances. I wasn't going to last long if I wasn't weary. Zarkon had a habit of truly 'putting on a show' and used his powers to his unfair advantage.

Out of the corner of my eye as I gazed up, standing proudly, Lance was glaring at me. If looks could kill, I'd be dead on my chariot before I'd even stepped into the arena. He was holding two roses. I was holding an unaccountable amount. Pidge was no longer wearing a skirt - it had wrapped around her and formed a pair of electric blue fitted pants, that occasionally fired lightning bolts, realistically striking the floor. Matt's did the same.

"Welcome, Tributes," the King held up a glass of blue liquid. "And congratulations on making your way to the Capitol, where both high-class Alteans and Galra warmly welcome you."

The crowd cheered. Lance's mouth was still gaping. I mocked his tone and gave him a snarky wink. His head snapped back to the King immediately.

"We hope to see you all again very soon, and good luck participating in your thirty-second annual Hunger Games!" he smiled, raising his glass. "May the odds be ever in your favour."

My suit still looked as if it was oozing. Vibrant oranges and reds seemed as if they were trying to escape the fabric that I wore, and knowing I was such a spectacle only boosted my confidence. The crowd applauded one last time as we were escorted into a large building, where Shiro was waiting. A proud smile was plastered onto his face. My eyes were still stuck on the impossible lightning-bolts coming from the siblings' clothes. How did the designer do that? Then again, how did Hunk manipulate the fabric into being  _animated?_

The Tributes dispersed quickly, leaving us last. The suits were quickly deactivated as we stepped down; the small moment of fame was enough. Although, now I knew what 'likeable' meant. It was easy. Too easy.

"Look at all those roses," Shiro laughed. "Wow, Nyma, looks like Keith outdid you."

Nyma scowled. 

"Jealous?" I muttered. "Better than McClain?"

"Nobody can top McClain." Nyma huffed, rolling her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keith.......bruh......


	6. Roommate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rooms aren't the only thing that are irritating to sort out.

We arrived at another tall building, which was a place for the Tributes to stay, I discovered. I still wore the bodysuit after the chariot event and gave away my roses to a Galra soldier, who stated that they were forbidden inside. Apparently, roses were a sacred flower to the Alteans and had to be looked after; if they were  _that_ sacred, why were they being thrown at the crowd? Why were they being thrown at  _Lance?_ It's not like he deserved them.

"For the remainder of your time, you'll be sharing your stay with Districts Four and Eight," Shiro explained. "The other Districts will either be on the floor above or below- "

"Four?!" I hissed. That was Lance's District and I really didn't want to have to share a bedroom, let alone a  _floor_. "Do we have to?"

"Keith," Shiro sighed. "You're getting a living luxury and all you do is complain. Now shut up before I place you somewhere else."

"Gladly," I murmured. Nyma placed her face in her palm, dragging her hand down her cheek in frustration.

Shiro was right. I really was taking everything for granted.

After riding an elevator to our floor, we stepped out into a large, white room with high ceilings and a marble floor. Gold and blue drapes hung from above. A large banquet table was set in the middle, organised by men and women in white coats. They wore the Altean badge upon their breast and a golden tiara that wrapped around their heads. It all seemed too fragile. If I touched something, anything, I felt as if this whole floor was going to be reduced to rubble. The awe on my face, however, wasn't forced. I was genuinely astounded at how much work had put in to ensure our stay was wonderful.

I approached the table, observing the food that had been put out for us. Cakes, loaves of bread, meat, herbs - there were so many things that I'd never tasted before. Since there was no sign of the other Districts appearing, Shiro walked us to Twelve's bedrooms and gestured two different directions. Each bedroom sat in three corners of the large banquet room. The final corner was for the elevator.

"Keith, your room is to the far left. Nyma's is to the right," he explained. I slowly walked down a short hall before peering into double-doors. It was too dark to see. "I need to get the technicians in for your pulses."

"Pulses?" I asked, but Shiro had already left. Nyma closed her doors as I entered my room, flicked on the light and almost gasped again. I let out a sigh of relaxation as my eyes laid on the king bed, the gorgeous, red satin blankets, grey walls, the large window overlooking the city, and the bathroom over to the right. I went to inspect some more, and found myself face-to-face with an unaccountable amount of buttons for the shower. I frowned. Which one was which, and how did the shower turn on? Or, rather, how did it turn off? The toilet was too pristine. The room overall smelled like the cherry soap I had scrubbed into me before the chariots. I walked back out again and found a walk-in closet, pulling the doors open and finding my outfit from the Reaping.

How did that get there? They did strip it from me and take it, but - it had been ironed and washed and now, it actually looked presentable. It looked odd beside the clothes I'd been given. They all tied in within the Capitol's fashion sense. I closed the closet, glancing at myself in the mirrored doors. I looked different. I felt different. I had to wash all of the makeup off my face, take off the suit that clung to me, and get the glitter out of my hair. Clueless as to where the zip was, I ended up bending myself in unnatural positions in front of the mirror, until I clutched the zip at the very back and  _tugged. _ Relief. I could breathe again.

Beneath the suit was personal. As the suit hung from my waist, the sleeves still up to my elbows, I glared at every single scar and scratch on my back. Fights for dominance were so popular in my District, but if I won, I'd get to take something home for my father. I was forbidden after he found out, and saw all the bruises on my face. I still went back until I reached seventeen - the Omegas and Betas I fought were weaker than I was. The Alphas, on the other hand, refused to fight me, due to fair play. I was being unjust.

I turned again; the muscles sculpted on my abdomen weren't something to be proud of. I still had scars there too, including one running all the way down my chest. The forest was a dangerous place and although I'd faced a fire, and regularly got into fights, I was ashamed. I hated those scars. I was surprised the male and female back at the prep room didn't comment on them.

"Nice muscles, Twelve."

Whipping my head around and hoisting my suit back onto my shoulders. I'd forgotten to close the door, so when I turned, I was met with a girl who had cropped, pastel-green hair and an outfit uncomfortably similar to Lance's. I groaned.

"Are you lost? Four's side is over there," I gestured. She chuckled.

"Just came to say hello," she purred. "I'm Plaxum, Lance's partner."

"Partner?!" I scoffed. "Are you joking?"

"Well, y'know, District wise," she grinned. "But I wouldn't mind having him on the side, as a mate."

I was almost sick in my mouth. I wanted her to leave so I could finally wash my face. I narrowed my eyes. "Are you an Omega or a Beta? You're too snide to be an Alpha."

"You're not allowed to ask," Plaxum raised a brow, examining her fingernails. "You look like you need a mate, too. I wouldn't mind you either."

Oh God. Was District Four full of flirts? "Get out of my room."

"Keith," she whined. "Come on -"

"I said get out."

"Twelve's no fun," she rolled her eyes. "Get fucked, Keith."

When she left, I exhaled slowly, counting to ten in my head. This was going to be so frustrating. I couldn't believe the Games were so far away; two weeks seemed like a droning period of time if I was sharing accommodation with Four. I really didn't need them aggravating me every day to the point of yelling.

Or maybe it was just me. Maybe I had to loosen up a little. I unzipped the top part of my suit again and let it hang from my waist, before noticing the door was still open in the mirror. Before anyone else could enter, I walked over and closed the door. It wasn't like I had privacy with them closed, anyway. Squared windows lined the middle. The Capitol either preferred no dignity or decoration.

As the doors clicked shut, I glanced upwards to find a lock, but my eyes caught something different. The tanned boy carried his golden laurel wreath between nervous fingers, talking to the male of Eight. Lance was _tall_. Taller than me. My mind struck him as an Alpha overall, he seemed way too confident in himself. His muscles looked out of place considering his slender build - no wonder he had girls fawning over him. Were they really fawning over him, or was he just flirting to make himself liked? Either way, it was such a stupid way to prevent himself from getting killed. 

There wasn't much else I could spot through such a slim window, apart from the blue paint that twirled like ocean waves up his thigh and abdomen, snaking towards his spine. I didn't notice I was staring until my eyes fell on his gaze. He was looking right back at me, his brow raised. The male from Eight was gone. How long had I been staring?

I quickly retreated back to the closet and looked from the mirror instead. It took a while, but through reaching in and grabbing something to wear, I noticed he left soon after. I sighed in relief. I didn't want another Tribute glaring at my body. I was glaring at _his_ body.

No. I wasn't. I was curious.

After pulling on some tight-fitting pants which served more as leather leggings than anything else, and a just-as-tight black shirt, I sat down on the bed and waited to be called. Shiro still hadn't arrived with the 'pulses' he talked about. I glanced over to my nightstand and pulled open the drawer. In there was cologne - but not just  _any_ cologne. I picked up the blue bottle and unscrewed the metal cap, taking a small sniff. It was a scent masker. They must've known my secondary gender, in case the scent blocker failed to work. The cologne itself was also full of hormones, so I placed it back in the drawer and ignored the warm feeling in my gut. Regrets.

The bedroom was huge. Almost bigger than my entire ground floor back home. My father would be so astounded just looking at it. I couldn't wait to get under the covers; the mattress, I discovered, was memory foam, laced with a hormone blocker. They really were tight about protecting secondary genders. Suddenly, after a few minutes of boredom, there was a knock at the door. I sat up as Shiro entered, holding a small, white device.

"What's that?" I asked as he approached and sat upon the bed. It was a slim, glass, rectangular  _something_ with a small metal latch underneath, covered in tiny needles. The needles were about a couple of millimetres - barely that, in fact.

"Your pulse record," he said, grabbing my left arm. My heart started pounding. Where was that going? "It measures your pulse, and it tells us if you're in danger. It's like a little guardian for you."

I cried out in pain as he attached it directly to the pulse in my wrist. A couple of small blips and it glowed a calm blue. That, I assumed, was from Altean essence. Or Galra influence. It could have been manufactured by either. My heartbeat soon registered upon the empty screen, and I saw the peaks and troughs as I calmed down. Seventy-six beats per minute. I was doing okay.

"This is also hooked up to the leaderboard," he explained. "It tells us when you're awake, asleep, in danger, injured, and even dying. In some circumstances it can inject hormones directly into your bloodstream."

"Will I have it on during the Games?" I stared at the new thing on my wrist. "Where's the leaderboard?"

Shiro gestured to a small, black screen on the wall, which was currently glowing with life. It listed our name, District, gender, height, weight, training scores, and secondary gender. The secondary gender column was blanked out. It was obvious why. Every single name was lit up brightly, with their heart rate beside it. It seemed so odd and invasive.

"You'll probably have it on during the Games, I'll have to check," Shiro grinned. "But you see the training scores? They'll be updated when you do your training, obviously."

"Training?" I was asking too many questions. Voices could be heard coming from outside. Dinner was beginning. Shiro nodded.

"Off the top of my head I think there's three training stages. It's to show other people what you're made of," he explained. "Don't think about impressing a mate. If you're too focused on that in the arena, someone's going to catch you out, and you'll be dead before you even make it past the first metre."

I nodded. I could ignore the mate aspect, but perhaps I could find some skilled Tributes to ally with.

"Anyway," he smiled. "The Capitol is infamous for their food. You'd hate to miss out before your interview."

"Interview?" I said, running my thumb along the glass in my wrist. I followed him outside and sat by Nyma, who had managed to remove her makeup. Even I didn't have the chance to do that. However, to my dismay, as District Four walked in, Lance sat down in the chair beside me. I had nowhere else to go. He wore a comfortable-looking sweater and the same pants that I struggled with. I rolled my eyes. Four's and Eight's mentors sat down last. Shiro's hands were gripping the back of my chair.

"It's an interview about the Games. About mates," he explained. "You're all going to be talking to Coran whether you like it or not. Charm is your best power. Don't be afraid to use it."

Lance nudged me with his elbow. I glared at him. "Don't you -"

"You are  _not_ ruining this for me," he muttered. "Unlike you, I actually want to live."

"At least I don't speak with my dick," I hissed. Nyma gasped.

"Language," she murmured. Lance chuckled slyly, grabbing a bread roll and a butter knife, the screen within his wrist glowing against the metal.

"Don't worry, Nyma, Keith knows how to control his language," Lance sneered. "He just doesn't know how to control his smile."

In an instant, I grabbed the nearest viscous-looking food and smeared it down his cheek, while he threw his glass of champagne in my face. I blinked a couple of seconds, his blue makeup smudged, completely dripping with alcohol. The Tributes around us had their heads in their own meal, while the mentors raced towards us as we threw food at each other. It was ridiculous. There was no way in  _hell_ I'd be sharing a floor with Lance, especially if he was such an annoying, egotistical, big-mouthed -

He dropped his knife and lashed out, clawing at my collar as I shoved him into Plaxum. I fumed. I spat. I couldn't believe this was happening and the Games were too weeks away.

"You're a fucking joke!" I yelled. Any more of him scraping his nails down my cheek and I'd be fighting like I did back home. "I'm killing you first!"

As an Alpha, it wasn't as if I could calm down as quickly. We were both pulled out of our seats by our mentors, and Shiro's grip was  _strong_. I writhed and yelled, while Lance spat right back, hurling insults and other remarks to tear me down.

"What is your fucking problem!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the room. The large screen on the wall was suddenly bleeping - mine and his names were flashing an alarming red. The glass in our wrist glowed the same colour as our hearts raced with anger. I was sweating with pure rage. "I'm here for the same fucking reason as you, Keith!"

Suddenly, with a swift grab, our mentors aimed for the screen within our forearms and pressed down. We both grunted in pain; I seethed as a warm sensation tingled through my bloodstream, shooting straight up to the gland within my neck. The bleeping ceased. My heart race decreased. I was still being held within Shiro's grasp as I calmed down, my hair coated in champagne as it dripped down my face and onto the floor. Lance fell relaxed, and was escorted back to his room. Shiro did the same, and slammed the door shut in rage. I was thrown onto the bed immediately.

"What is wrong with you, Kogane?" Shiro hissed. "You save the fighting for the Games, understand?!"

I frowned. "But -"

He squeezed the glass on my wrist again, his grip making me tear up in pain. The hormone was activated again, forcing my adrenaline to dissipate. "I'm sorry! I understand!"

"Don't bother coming back to the table." Shiro murmured, his hand on the bedroom door. "You're going to wait for your stylist. Buck up for the interview, Keith. Take a shower."

When he left, I got up to open the door, but when I pulled the handle, all it caused was a clicking noise. It'd locked automatically. I guessed I was going to go hungry. With a whimper, I rubbed the handprints left in my wrist as I pulled off my clothing to get into the shower. What even  _was_ that hormone? I knew it caused me to calm down, but - it made Lance relax instantly. Was his hormone stronger or different than mine? It made the gland in my neck swell. I no longer felt annoyed, or angry, for that matter. My wrist hurt.

I stepped into the shower, and tried to find the button that turned the fucking thing on. The sudden carelessness had me pushing buttons at random, until I was showered in a warm jet of water that released something sweet-smelling at the same time. I hoped Lance struggled more. Knowing him, and his mentor, he was probably back at the banquet table by now, eating whatever the hell he wanted. I sighed. The interview was all I could think about. My father would see me speaking to Coran - the guy with the moustache, I assumed - and knowing that he'd see me and I wouldn't see him, broke my heart a little bit. Nevertheless, as I basked in the scent of roses and the feeling of lavender oil sliding down my body, I still had another chance to win the crowd over. I had to do better than Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so LONG wow  
> keith is gonna go hungry :"(


	7. Impress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance apparently hates fire. Or gloves. Either one.

My stomach growled. It wasn't easy being impressive and likeable when my stomach was empty. I certainly didn't enjoy Shiro's tone, let alone the burning sensation of the hormone threading through my veins. The gland in my neck was engorged and I'd started to worry if it was releasing a scent - was the scent blocker strong enough? I hoped so. I just didn't want to misbehave again; I'd do anything to avoid that horrible, hot feeling in my neck and heart. I had to ask Shiro what it did. It _forced_ me to calm down, which was terrible if I kept it on in the arena, and an opponent tried to grab my wrist.

Not only that, but Shiro was painfully strong. I still had a small bruise where his fingers were, like tiny purple circles imprinted onto my skin. I hoped Lance went hungry too, because he started it, and I didn't deserve champagne to be thrown at my face. I still smelled like it. I hoped the stylist had some kind of hairspray, or something, to eradicate the strong, alcoholic scent.

I felt empty. I'd ruined my first banquet at the Capitol - well, _Lance_ did - by initiating a food fight. Lance started it verbally. I did the damage of tearing the banquet apart with rage. Ugh. Why must I embarrass myself. My fingers curled into the satin blanket, I let out a tired sigh as my wet hair dried excruciatingly slowly, the towel beneath my head absorbing the water.

"I see you're not taking the 'likeable' thing seriously."

I sat up quickly, watching Hunk close the door behind him as he carried a black suit over his forearm. A woman followed in beside him. I recognised her - her Galra ears were a telltale sign. She was the one who had hearts clipped into her ears. I sighed. My makeup was done by her, too, and although she did a brilliant job due to it being her expertise, I didn't like the process. I flinched a lot.

"I'm trying my best," I swallowed. "I did well during the chariot ceremony. The boy from District Four is trying my patience."

The Galra female transported a cabinet in the room and wheeled it beside my bed. It folded open impressively, revealing makeup, brushes, mirrors, hairbrushes, and even fit a hairdryer. She got to work untangling my tousled hair as Hunk placed the suit on my bed, removing the protective plastic.

"The boy from Four," he thought for a moment. "I heard he's quite nice. You just need to be more tolerable and gentle."

"Nice?!" I squeaked. "He almost gave me scars from scratching my face just now. He threw a glass of champagne on me!"

Hunk laughed as the hairdryer began blasting my wet hair. It was then combed into its usual shape, before the artist got to work, making me look pretty. I almost snorted. Pretty was the last word I'd call myself - but she did an astounding job. Red on my eyelids this time, it seemed, along with crimson and orange gemstones peppering my cheekbones.

"You'll deal with flames again," Hunk explained as I pulled on the suit. It was more decent and formal than the bodysuit was; I looked better in it, too. It was a typical black tuxedo, with a red collar and trim. However, as I eyed the boots that I wore last time, I couldn't help but feel suspicious. Was he recycling his idea?

"Am I walking with flames again?" I raised a brow. The Galra female bid us farewell and left the room, while I stood in front of the closet doors, glaring at myself in the large mirror. Hunk shook his head.

"The flames on your feet are deactivated," he answered. "But your gloves might do something different."

Hesitantly, I took the leather black fingerless gloves from his outstretched hands and slipped them on, releasing them with a loud _snap_. Doing this caused a couple of embers to fly out from the material. I almost swore.

"They'll burst into fake flames if you snap your fingers. The embers, just like those, fly out when you clap. Simple, really, but some gestures even involve fire. Try waving."

I waved my hand in front of my face, and the flames appeared immediately. My mouth gaped in awe. Suddenly, I couldn't wait to show these off to the crowd. To _Lance_. This was a rivalry and I _was_ taking it seriously. I tried clicking my fingers, clapping - every single little thing impressed me. Although I wanted to stay and experiment more, Shiro arrived at the door with Nyma, dressed in a black dress and red stilettos. With the flames emanating from the heel, and the lack of gloves, I could immediately tell that I was Hunk's favourite.

Then I was suspicious.

"Do you know what Nyma is?" I whispered. Hunk nodded, before placing a finger to his lips.

"Alphas are special in my book," he winked. "I'll make sure you'll likeable. You might even attract a few mates."

I grinned.

The elevator down to the interview was tense. The atmosphere was thick with anxiousness, and not only that - I was riding it with the other two Districts. Lance was dressed in a pale blue tuxedo, with a couple of golden leaves threaded into his hair. I glanced down at his pulse record. His heart was beating pretty quickly.

"Nervous?" I grinned. Lance raised a brow.

"Why do you care, fire boy?" he smirked. I rubbed my hands together in preparation, excited to spill everything about the Games, how I felt, and the 'mate' scenario. I definitely had a bone to pick with the Capitol. Small flames flickered around my fingers, before they extinguished as quickly as they sparked. Lance glared at my gloves and bit his lip.

"N-nice gloves."

It was my turn to smirk. "Pussy."

"Will you two cut it out?" the female from Eight hissed. "God, it's so annoying listening to you!"

To emphasise my point, I pretended to adjust my glove, and pulled it back, releasing it with the same threatening _slap_ it made against my skin. Lance visibly _shivered_. It felt good having the upper hand.

"Keith." Nyma hissed.

We finally arrived at the interview, and Coran's voice boomed over the speakers as each Tribute filed in. We stood backstage. I noticed Pidge wearing a white dress that hugged her figure - and her designer seemed to have outdone themselves yet again. The circuit-like lines running up her dress glowed, as if they were flowing with electricity. Her hair was curled and swept to the side. Lance leaned against the wall, towering over her as he flashed her winks and bright smiles. Occasionally, he'd glance up at me and his face would fall. Matt, however, stood near his sister, staring at a light in the ceiling. He didn't look too impressed about Lance flirting with her.

District One was first. Then Two. Then Three. I waited in anticipation, watching the television screen as the line reduced, one by one.

_"Lance McClain from District Four!"_

The crowed roared as Lance lifted his head and flashed another wink at me. I almost hit my head against the wall. I hated it. _I hated it._ I didn't even want to watch him walk up, let alone hear him speak. Pidge laughed when she turned to look at me.

"What happened between you two?" she asked. I sighed.

"You don't want to know."

Lance sat down after shaking Coran's hand firmly, his golden leaves glinting in the spotlight. The golden shimmer smeared onto his cheekbones and eyelids glittered.

"So, Lance, tell us all," Coran grinned. "Apparently you've been prioritising mates over allies and staying alive."

The audience chortled. I heard Pidge snort. He wasn't wrong.

"I haven't exactly been _prioritising..._ " he laughed. "There are just gorgeous people in the lineup and I can't help but be eager to get to know all of them."

"Have you settled on a mate yet, then?" Coran grinned. "And, if the audience and I admit, we see you as quite an Alpha."

Lance raised a brow as the crowd went wild. He grinned slyly. "I have a couple of options. I mean, some of them are all bark and no bite. It took a glass of champagne to know that."

I froze, furrowing my brow. Oh, I'll show you bite.

"And what about back at home?"

"Well," Lance sighed. "It's more family than friends. All I want to do is help them out. My family is quite big, y'know? I want to do anything I can to make them happy."

The audience cooed. Boo fucking hoo.

The interview seemed to go on forever, but as soon as Lance walked back down and Pidge stepped up, I gripped his neck and slammed him against the wall. I had had enough. _This had to stop_. To my delight, the wind was knocked out of Lance's lungs immediately. The flames emitting from my glove angrily twirled and flared around his cheek and nose, his irises small with fear as he flinched. I heard Shiro's footsteps come closer as Lance tried to remove my hand, his fingers trembling.

"What the fuck are you playing at?!" I yelled. "Go on! Fucking spit it out!"

All Lance made was choking noises as my fingers gripped tighter. If he _was_ an Alpha, I wasn't afraid to fight for dominance.

"You wanna mention that again?" I grinned. "Huh? Say you're- _nng_ \- "

With quaking hands, Lance clamped down on the sliver of glass fixed to my wrist before Shiro could get to it. I scowled at him as he rubbed his neck, coughing and spluttering. The heat of the hormone seared through my blood and made the gland in my neck sting. All rage was tranquilised.

Lance walked away quickly after that, looking back at me once. Shiro, however, glared at me in anger.

"What did I say?" he muttered. "You're going to apologise to him later."

I didn't speak. I feared he'd activate the hormone again.

"...well, Coran, it's more of an alias than a childhood nickname."

I turned back to the television. I still had another chance to turn things around. Nyma wasn't even looking; Matt had his eyes glued to the screen, a proud smile stretched across his face.

"Then what is your real name?" Coran grinned, facing the audience. "Do we have any guesses, ladies and gentlemen?"

Pidge laughed as the audience cheered, hurling names at her left and right.

"Does your brother know?"

"Of course," she replied. "I grew up with him. I'm sure."

Matt smiled at his sister.

After Pidge, he stepped up, and then District Six followed. Then Seven. Then Eight. I was starting to build up my confidence. Maybe I had gone a little too far earlier, I had to apologise to Lance when I got back. I felt...remorse, for once, which was odd. The only fascinating thing I learned was that Pidge was an alias, and I had no idea how they let her have it in such a strict society.

An hour later and Nyma had stepped down. My pulse record began to bleep intermittently as my nerves rocketed; I straightened my back, cracked my knuckles, and put on a convincing smile, despite my empty stomach. I could win the audience over.

_"Keith_ _Kogane_ _from District Twelve!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> show your fellow tribute some friendly care and shove them into a wall


	8. Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interview goes well.

My heart was in my mouth as I approached the stage, the roars of the audience becoming muffled as my anxiousness took over. This wasn't good. My legs shook as I sat down in the leather chair, Coran leaning over to me, making noises that weren't coherent. There were so many people in the audience. More than I had originally anticipated. I forgot how to talk, and instantly, I felt like an idiot. Coran said something again.

"I'm sorry?" I replied, my eyebrow raised. Coran laughed. The audience cooed. I felt so awkward.

"Someone's a little nervous," he smiled. "You made quite an appearance with the chariot ceremony, didn't you? Want to tell us your secret?"

With a deep breath, I settled into the chair, trying to relax. I did better than Lance at the chariot ceremony. I could do better now. With a forced grin, I faced the audience and leaned forward, resting my elbows upon my knees. I had to turn myself around, for the sake of my own life.

"I think it's all up to the stylist," I laughed. "I mean, surely, some Districts are better than others. There was no way I was going to top Five and the lighting coming from their shoes. D'you see that?"

Coran laughed, a hearty, warm laugh. "I think we all did. But anyway, what about you? Are you looking for a mate?"

"I'm not particularly focused on mates, Coran," I replied. "I want to stay alive."

The audience almost  _purred_. Was it considered dashing to look out for yourself? After all, I was only doing the right thing - if I stayed alive and won this, I could bring so much fortune to my father. I wouldn't have to go out with a knife and fight other Alphas, Betas and Omegas for money. I had charm, sure - but I wasn't good at using it. Coran faced the audience, an eyebrow raised.

"Someone's a lone wolf," he grinned. "Do you think you're strong enough to win the Games, Keith? What would you do with the prize?"

"Well," I sighed. I didn't want to get into too much detail in case I lost my confidence streak - but  _any_ sob-story was a better sob-story than Lance's. "I live alone with my father in a small corner of District Twelve. I have to fight to live every day, y'know? The Games are gonna be just like that."

Coran's face fell, and the audience wept. "You look very strong. Are you wearing your flames again?"

I scratched the back of my neck, the quick movement setting my glove alight. I did that on purpose - the audience's reaction was priceless. Coran gasped.

"What else can you do? That's magic."

"Well, uh," I grinned, "I'd hate to brag, but -"

I snapped my fingers, flexed them, clapped my palms together - I was loving the attention and the reactions, I almost wanted to stay on that stage forever. Feeling likeable sat well with me, and suddenly, I wasn't  _that_ afraid to reveal some charm. Some. Not all. I didn't want to turn into an egotistical prick like Lance was. I watched as embers shattered to the floor, scattering and extinguishing. Flames twirled and danced, lapping at my fingers and palms. I really didn't want to take those things off.

"Well!" Coran laughed, grabbing my hand and raising it. "That's all the time we have. District Twelve's Keith Kogane!"

After I waved goodbye to the audience, I stepped back down and met Shiro, who looked slightly less pissed than he did earlier when I lashed out at Lance. He gave me a reassuring high-five, causing my gloves to set fire. That was never going to get old.

"You actually smiled for once," he smirked. "Apologised to Lance yet?"

"No. I don't want to-  _hey!"_

He raised his arm to grab at the pulse record, but I flinched immediately, a small whimper escaping my lips. He was using threat if I didn't behave. I hated the feeling of the hormone heating up my blood. I didn't even know if it was healthy for Alphas. Shiro folded his arms and sighed.

"I'll say sorry later," I muttered. "Am I likeable yet?"

"You might be," Shiro grinned. "The gloves won them over. Are you ever going to take them off?"

I shook my head.

After conversing with Shiro, euphoria still made my heart sing as I stepped into the elevator. Nyma was waiting. Districts Four and Eight were already up at our floor - I really didn't want to face Lance right now. Especially with an empty stomach, and the constant fear that Shiro was going to activate the hormone. I felt so light-headed.

"Shiro," I began. "What does the hormone in my wrist do?"

"There are many hormones that detect your mood through a stimulus," he explained. "So whenever the pulse record gets squeezed, the hormone designated to that mood is released. The one that eradicated your rage also makes you drowsy. You may also experience some nausea - Lance pressed it, even though he's not allowed to."

"Prick." I muttered. Nyma hit my arm.

Eventually, in a horrible, deafening silence, we made it to our floor. The lights seemed so bright and blinding, reflecting off the white walls. I felt sick with hunger and I hoped I could earn back a couple of scraps. I didn't care - I hadn't eaten for so long. I'd lost count of the hours that I'd gone hungry, and now, all I could do was wait. But as I walked towards my room, I felt the pulse record vibrate. Was it supposed to do that? Nobody else was around except for Shiro. There were a couple of beeps - before my legs buckled, and I fell against the floor, pain searing through my head as my skull came in contact with the hard floor.

And then, everything went black.

I didn't know how long I was out for, but I woke up on my bed, with my outfit still on. My head pounded. My stomach growled. I was so, so hungry. And being an Alpha made it worse - if I didn't eat soon, or consume any sort of nutrients; I started getting anxious about  _dying_.

They wouldn't let me die, would they? No. No, surely not. My hands shook like a leaf. I couldn't grip onto anything properly. My pulse was weak and shallow. The blue screen wavered as I tried to look at it - fifty beats per minute. Was I not in danger? Why wasn't it bleeping?

I sat up, my head pounding. I raised a gloved hand to feel the back of my head, noticing a large bump from hitting the floor. I winced. This was horrible. They really were making me suffer. I needed to check the time - I had to know how long I'd gone without food. Or water. The leaderboard still glowed with life, and I squinted my eyes in the blanket of darkness to read the time in the top corner. Midnight.

Two knocks at my door. I almost game myself whiplash with how fast I turned; my head pounded twice as hard. I felt so sick. The person who opened the door wasn't easy to see. They wore a bodysuit - because the Capitol had plenty of them - and golden glitter in their hair. I sighed. Lance.

"What do you want," I muttered. I sounded so weak. 

Lance approached my bed meekly, holding two plates in his hands. My heart almost dropped - was there  _food_ on there? He lowered them and placed them on the blanket, before tip-toeing to the door and closing it. I gasped. The plate was bountiful with fruit, cheese, meat - I frowned at him.

"Did you poison this?"

Lance looked up at me, a look of disbelief upon his face. "What the fuck? No! You don't have to eat it. I didn't have dinner either."

I went quiet then, letting him stay. It was a very generous gesture after I'd strangled him, and he still wanted to please. The taste and texture of meat was almost godlike in my mouth - my gloves flickered calmly as I lifted my knife and fork. Lance crossed his legs.

"Where did you find all this?" I asked. Lance shrugged.

"They still had a cheeseboard out. And a fruit bowl. And leftover meat, I guess," he replied. 

The room went quiet after that. Sickeningly quiet. I was grateful for the food that he brought, although I hadn't swallowed my pride yet to say thank you. I knew I had to. I would, when I was feeling less sceptical. Lance looked so exhausted. Had he slept? It was the middle of the night and I was intrigued.

"Why do you hate me?" he whispered. I looked up at him, the moonlight from the window dusting across his face, emphasising his sharp cheekbones.

"Because you're a self-absorbed prick, Lance," I muttered. "Great sob-story on your family, by the way."

Lance's face turned dark. "I'm sorry? I didn't have to bring you food, y'know!"

"Are you like that to your family?" I sneered. Lance swallowed hard.

"Excuse me?" he breathed. "You think I  _lied_ about my family? Fuck you, Keith. You're forgetting that not everyone has just two people in their house to take care of themselves."

"You live in one of the wealthiest Districts," I spat. "How is it hard for you?"

"Because the money never goes anywhere," Lance whispered, his gaze falling to the sheets. "I have so many older and younger siblings and they depend on me to swim every single day, hauling gigantic nets, to catch next to nothing."

I bit my lip. Maybe I _had_ gone too far. "I wish I had your fortune."

"Do you?" Lance laughed pitifully, raising his head. "Shark-infested waters, Keith. Sometimes I go home thinking about how I could've died."

"That happened to me once," I nodded. 

"Huh?"

I really didn't want to explain, but I'd lashed out at Lance  _again_. It wasn't fair. It was such a stupid rivalry, and even if I disliked him a little bit, he still had a little bit of generosity and nerve to speak to me.

"I go hunting for food," I explained, gently tapping my fingertips together, illuminating the room with small flames. "One day, I was with my mom, and there was a fire."

Lance sighed. "I'm sorry, Keith."

I shrugged, caressing my fingers over the gloves, looping my thumbs under the rectangular holes in the back of my hand. Live and let die, I supposed. For once, it was nice having company. Even if it was Lance. With a deep breath, I swallowed, and turned to him.

"I'm sorry I strangled you."

Lance lifted his head, looking at me in disbelief. I didn't want to apologise again, so Lance seemed to reply what I'd said in his head, before raising his hand to his neck. 

"Oh." Lance whispered. "I'm sorry for throwing champagne at you. And clawing at your face."

"Are you though?" I smirked. Lance laughed, taking the empty plates and getting up from the bed. 

He opened the door, and stopped, before turning. "Why were you staring at me earlier?"

"I wasn't staring." I lied.

Lance shrugged, flashing a wink as he left. I immediately fell back into bed, groaning. I hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a different kind of bonding moment


	9. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance desperately tries to be better than Keith.

The training began early. Too early. Shiro beckoned me out of bed at six in the morning, when I was half-asleep, groggy, among other things - I was just thankful I didn't have a horrible headache and an empty stomach. Breakfast involved hot food and pastries, which I wolfed down. Lance and I were absolutely silent as Shiro went through the training regimen we were all going to go through. It seemed as if he was shocked at our sudden 'friendship' - I only apologised to him. I hadn't said a single nice thing, otherwise we'd have allied by now.

I didn't want to ally with him.

"You two aren't fighting," Nyma raised a brow. "Are you sick?"

I was more anxious about having my pulse record squeezed. Just the thought of the hot hormone being forced into my bloodstream made me feel sick. Luckily, the tantalising breakfast was all I needed to stop thinking about it. I was a fan of the cream.

Lance shrugged, taking a sip of his glass of water. "The fighting's saved for later."

"Is it now?" I wiped my mouth. "I'm kicking your -"

A sharp, loud, monotonous beep started emanating from the leaderboard. We all turned to see, checking our wrists, our pulses, but it was Pidge's name flashing in red. Shiro approached the screen, tapping his finger against her name. Her entire profile came up - likes, dislikes, blood type - including a three-dimensional model of her. It actually  _breathed_.

And then it stopped.

"Odd." Shiro muttered. "Maybe someone scared her."

"Like Lance did in the line for the interview," I smirked. "Maybe some people don't like being flirted with."

"Actually," Lance scoffed. "Pidge is wonderful and you can't top that."

He winked again. I slumped back in my chair and folded my arms, scowling at him. But the more I got annoyed, the more fear settled in at the thought of Shiro's grip against my wrist. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, taking a long sip of water. Meanwhile, Lance chortled. I just had to get used to him. He was such a messy eater, too - or he was just as eager to eat as I was.

After breakfast, we dressed in tight bodysuits. I was beginning to think that this was more of a fetish than a fashion sense. It was so tight, but at least the gold, blue and grey was flattering. Today was a day of threatening other Tributes with skill and wit. I had physical strength, which I realised I'd taken advantage of when I strangled Lance. I was also agile, flexible - I just couldn't let the dominant, Alpha side show. So many people would get hurt. Including Lance.

Shiro appeared at the door with Nyma, and locked it shut. "Hey, I'm gonna run through the other Tributes so you know what to look out for."

"Why?" I asked. "We're fighting with them anyway."

"It's an insight kind of thing," Shiro explained, beckoning me over to the leaderboard screen. He started tapping on Tribute names, revealing their little animated selves. They had running motions, facial animation, and expression - as if the Capitol had filmed every time that they smiled, frowned, laughed, walked, ran; it was creepy. I wondered what I looked like.

"The Holt siblings," he tapped on Pidge's and Matt's names, both of them appearing on the screen instantly. Pidge was apparently smarter than her brother. Agile, too. She regularly did gymnastics. Matt was good at manipulating. I squinted at the alias under Pidge's name.

"Katie?" I questioned.

"Gunderson is only an alias, only she and her brother know," Shiro laughed. "But these two are especially cunning. You're gonna have to have some kind of brains to beat them."

"So," Nyma tapped her chin. "Katie does arrows. But also hand-to-hand combat?"

Shiro nodded. "It's possible for Tributes to have other talents. You've heard about Alphas being wiped out, haven't you?"

We both nodded. "Apparently the Omegas and Betas kill them first to wipe out the stronger ones."

"Correct." Shiro grinned. "This year we have only five Alphas, nine Betas, and ten Omegas."

I swallowed hard. Five Alphas. Five.

"Why five?" I muttered.

"It's random." Shiro shrugged. "Last year we had eight each, which was incredibly lucky. It was an equal amount.

"Anyway," he continued. "District Four. Lance McClain."

The visual appeared on screen. Most of it was him hauling heavy things, flexing, being shirtless, and-

"Who let him be shirtless?" I asked.

"These images come in at random," Shiro smirked. "You have a problem?"

"No?" I said. "I mean, yeah, but- no, no- I don't care okay? It's from the chariots, I know."

Nyma stared. Shiro raised an eyebrow. I watched my pulse record escalate quickly. I didn't care about Lance being shirtless! It came out wrong! I covered the pulse record. I couldn't deal with that kind of shame.

"Lance McClain," Shiro continued, "is an excellent swimmer. Strong. Unpredictable. Bends in weird ways. His partner Plaxum is him but a little weaker. And she has a slow reaction time."

I snorted. "Since when did we have water in the arena."

"Last year it happened, Kogane," Nyma sneered. "Pay attention."

Shiro scrolled through the next tributes. Some were great at survival skills, like starting fires and climbing trees. Others identified poisons and wild flowers. Some others had an expertise in hand-to-hand combat, and the rest were just people who knew how to throw a punch or two. Ecstatic, I was buzzing to get into the training room, until Shiro tapped my name on the screen. My smirk fell.

All of my images were intimate. Throwing knives at tree trunks. Shirtless and wringing out a wet t-shirt from swimming. The one wink I did. The forced smile. Nyma covered her mouth to giggle a little bit.

"Who, who else is seeing these, Shiro?" I stammered. My highlights were strength, agility, and intelligence. Knife wielding. Sword fighting. Hand-to-hand combat. Nyma kept laughing underneath her palms and I  _really wanted her to stop._

"All the other Tributes."

I swallowed.

The elevator down to the training room was thick with tension and awkwardness. Lance's cheeks were pink. I couldn't look at him in the same way again. He saw every little image of mine that'd been taken in secret. The Capitol, I learned, was even more invasive than I originally thought. Lance coughed to break the ice. There was  _no way_ I was going to speak to him.

"Knives, huh?"

"Shut up," I growled.

When we arrived, the training room was full of Tributes chattering among themselves, surrounded by weapons, ladders, agility and obstacle courses, intelligence tests, and survival simulations. The Princess stood next to a girl wearing large hoop earrings and a training outfit, similar to ours, but with the Altean badge upon her shoulder. I eyed the shelf of knives on the far left. Beside it was a wrestling ring. There were also a few gymnastics equipment, like hoops, poles and ropes. 

Suddenly, among the chatter, the Princess let out a shrill scream as Pidge entered the room. She'd gone ahead and cut her hair; it was now cropped around her ears. She looked a little more like her brother. Brave.

"Your hair!" Princess Allura gasped. "You had such gorgeous hair, Pidge!"

"Suck it up," Pidge grinned, pushing her glasses onto her nose. Lance high-fived her. "I hated having it styled. And I can't fight with long hair."

"I think it suits you," Lance said. "You look a little more badass."

To my surprise, Pidge didn't even seem like she was listening, which made her brother laugh. Lance slunk back to the front of the group, holding his hands behind his back. His pulse was currently rising. I smirked.

"Settle down, Tributes," the woman held a clipboard. "My name is Shay. I'll be explaining your first day of training.

"You aren't allowed to fight with the other Tributes unless you're in the wrestling ring. You'll be wearing gloves in there and other weapons won't be allowed. Save the other fighting for the arena.

"The gymnastics equipment is only for those who have the agility and flexibility. If you feel as if you can't participate in something, move on to the next station. You must all have a go at at least one thing per station, for example, building fires in the survival station. Do you all understand?"

The group nodded. Lance cracked his knuckles. Pidge rolled her neck. The Princess stood at the front and greeted us all; I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying anything 'disrespectful.'

"I hope you're all enjoying your stay in the Capitol's most favoured building," she smiled. "I look forward to seeing all of you in the arena in a couple of weeks! Good luck, and may the odds be  _ever_ in your favour."

After that, every single Tribute became antsy. I was eager to get on the gymnastics equipment and limber up - it seemed as if Lance's gaze was set on the intelligence exam. The group was anticipated and raring to go. Shay tapped her clipboard and motioned to one of the Galra soldiers at the left side of the room. There were five of them, to prevent fights from happening, I assumed. When we were given our 'go,' I raced over to the bars and grabbed them, flipping myself onto them in a sitting position immediately. A girl from Six scowled.

"You're so possessive, Twelve!" she spat. "Go get your own equipment."

I looped my legs over and swung to the next bar. "I believe I grabbed this first. You're gonna have to go and, uh,  _sit out."_

I hadn't stretched before getting on, which made whatever I did slightly painful. But as soon as I got used to the feeling of the bars, my back was bending in ways I recognised, and the satisfying feeling of stretching soon returned. While I was higher than everyone else, I decided to gaze around the room to see what the other Tributes were doing.

Pidge was stood by a large touchscreen, with a score displayed in front of her. She gloated and laughed at her brother, who didn't seem amused at all. She'd gotten a higher score than him, I assumed. Lance was off to the side throwing knives at targets, with the girls from District Three, Seven and Nine cooing at him. I used all my strength and held myself above the bar a little longer as my arms trembled; he kept missing targets. Was he trying to become an expert in  _my_ skill?

"Hey, Keith," Matt called. I flipped over the bar and landed on the mat gently. Pidge whistled. "Would you challenge me in the wrestling ring?"

I laughed. "No, I was just about to look at the knives."

Matt flitted his gaze to Lance. "Oh. But fish boy is on there."

I doubled over instantly. Fish boy. My stomach hurt from laughing as I propped myself up against the bar. Pidge snickered, hitting her brother on the arm.

"C'mon, we can't bother Keith," she laughed. "I'll wrestle you instead."

The siblings climbed the wrestling ring, picking up the gloves on the ground. I went over to see Lance, clumsily throwing knives to miserably impress the girls hanging around him. It was adorable how he thought he could beat me. His look of frustration, yet confidence upon his face was very firm. After throwing his handful, I grabbed a few purple-bladed knives and took his place.

"Wh- Keith! I was doing good!"

Good? I smirked. The girls scattered to the side. After all, I wasn't doing it for a  _mate -_ I wanted to see Lance crumble with jealousy. Maybe  _I_ was the self-absorbed prick this time. Nonetheless, I had my footing secure, and started aiming for the red circle in the middle. All three blades landed with a  _slam_ , knocking over the targets, all of them landing directly in the middle of the circle. I heard beeping from behind me. Lance was covering his pulse record.

"You wanna try and beat me at my own expertise?" I tutted. I swatted away an eager female hand. Lance was speechless. "Go and lift some heavy things."

Lance eyed me up, his lids narrowing. "Actually, no. Fight me in the ring, you little shit."

"Are you threatening me?" I scoffed. Lance folded his arms. Ah. He was taller than me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fight fight fight


	10. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight begins. Keith actually feels remorse for once.

I had no idea standing in the wrestling ring would be so daunting, and all it reminded me of was the fights I'd had back at home. The gloves looked expensive; I wore red, he wore blue, and everyone had surrounded us, watching us. I felt their eyes all over me as we circled the ring, waiting for Shay to announce our fight. I didn't  _want_ to, but if this fight proved which one was the best, then so be it. It was lucky I kept my leather gloves in my pocket. I wore them underneath the thick gloves.

Two bells. I lunged at Lance and threw punches immediately, some getting parried off in different directions. The determination on his face was unbreakable, and suddenly, I didn't know whether or not to call off the fight. In the midst of my thoughts, Lance had hit my directly in the forehead, causing me to fall on the floor. He threw off his gloves, then. That was against the rules. I shoved mine onto the floor, fire crackling from my palms.

"Hey! Put the gloves back on!" Shay yelled, but we were already digging our knuckles into one another.

Lance was  _strong_ , but he wasn't stronger than me. I tried my best for the Alpha side in me to calm down, but as he threw hard punches, my bones crunching under his contact, I realised I could no longer use just my fist.

With a sharp swift, my leg cut the fabric of the air as I delivered a roundhouse kick into his side, slamming my fist into his nose as he fell. From then on, he was lashing out at me with his quick legs, dodging attacks, hitting my vulnerable areas. I couldn't believe this was happening, and Shay was still yelling from the sideline. The Tributes gasped and scattered as I grabbed Lances legs and slammed him against the floor, a loud grunt of pain slipping past his lips.

From then on, I had no control over what I did. He tried aiming, with his  _teeth_ , directly at the gland in my neck, but when that was futile, he used his fingernails and clawed at my skin instead. I heard a scuffle, before the Galra soldiers clambered onto the ring and tried to pin us down. I was already out of it. Lance was lunging at me with everything he had in him, and then I realised how hand-to-hand combat was his expertise. He was quick. Witty. Able to dodge my attacks - but not  _all_ of them.

A soldier managed to grab my arm as I continued hitting my opponent, flames and embers flying, the fight very quickly escalating to one of life-and-death. Lance wasn't done. The soldier coming for him hadn't gained his bearings, so his foot struck my jaw. In rage, I broke free of the soldier and slammed my fist directly into Lance's nose, watching him fall onto the ground, his chest heaving. Blood poured out of his nose as he got onto his hands and knees.

The next thing I knew, I was in a detainment room. And Lance was there, a tissue held up to his bleeding nose.

I couldn't believe that'd happened. We could have  _killed_ each other regardless of our secondary gender. Lance's chest was heaving. My wrists were bound in heavy-duty, Altean cuffs. I felt stings all over my face from Lance's nails. I was sure I had a black eye. It wasn't, however, as bad as Lance's nosebleed, and the amount of cuts and bruises on his face.

"How long," he panted, "are we going to hate each other, Kogane?! What am I doing to piss you off?"

"A lot." I growled. "Stop trying to be better than me."

"Stop trying to be better than  _me_ ," Lance frowned. "We're both as bad as each other. We're gonna end up fighting in the arena anyway."

"I thought you wanted a mate."

"I don't care," Lance replied, blood dripping onto his lip. "I don't care any more. Just stop trying to injure me, bitch."

The door swung open, and there stood Shiro and Lance's mentor, both of their arms folded, their faces dark. I sighed. Don't press the pulse. _Don't press the pulse._

"You two are going to have to play nice," Shiro growled. "Otherwise you'll be detained for the next couple of weeks without preparation. Understand?!"

I nodded quickly, watching Lance's mentor lower to a crouch, placing his hand on Lance's shoulder. He was a lot more gentle than Shiro was. My heart pounded as Shiro approached me, the pulse record bleeping furiously, stifled by my cuffs. Lance got up to leave, but as soon as he reached the door, Shiro clamped his grip down on the sliver of glass fixed to my wrist. I cried out in sheer agony, the horrible, sickening, hot feeling of the calming hormone raging through my veins.

"Stop it!" I cried, "Shiro, it burns!"

Another yell was forced out of my mouth as it reached the gland in my neck. Lance's face was harrowing. He looked mortified. 

Shiro left after that, leaving me whimpering into my own sleeve. I couldn't do this any more. I didn't want to have the pulse record in my wrist, and I didn't care if I needed it or not. I had to stop fighting. I had to buck up. Tears welled up in my eyes; there were bruises on my wrist again. Deep ones. The other Tributes had left, leaving me alone to catch the elevator back up.

I noticed how I flinched whenever someone came up to talk to me, because I always assumed they'd grab my wrist again. I walked back with my head hanging, looking down at the floor, with cuts and bruises all over my cheeks and nose. I couldn't believe I was _crying_ , either. I didn't know it was going to be this hard. Shiro was way more assertive than the other mentors and I despised it. I soon became afraid of him. I couldn't trust anyone.

I was silent at dinner, in fear of the hormone being activated again. Shiro kept a stern eye on me. I shuffled away from Lance just in case something happened, but he was holding another clean tissue to his nose. I felt so much remorse. All because we had a stupid, juvenile rivalry that we couldn't escape out of. I guess I really did have to ally with Lance.

That night, after eating as much as I could just in case I wasn't allowed dinner tomorrow, I headed all the way up to the rooftop. There was a balcony up there, overlooking the bustling city as the moon cascaded among the high-rise buildings of the Capitol, each with a different Galra or Altean charm. Wearing just the tight bodysuit pants, I leaned over the balcony and almost wept. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to rip the stupid thing off my wrist.

I thought about jumping. There were several stories; I could just end it now. However, I had my father back at home, and the entire point of not allying with anyone was to stay alive. For him. For the sake of keeping the family together.

"You shouldn't have fought Lance," Nyma muttered, appearing at my side. "You're a fucking hothead and I think you deserve that hormone in your blood."

"If you had any idea," I seethed, "of what the hormone felt like, you'd be taking that back."

Nyma scoffed. "There are many hormones in that thing, Keith. Maybe you should use them to your own delight. Maybe get a girl."

I stared at my gloves, picking at the leather, watching the small embers float into nothingness. "I'm not getting a mate."

"Oh, you will," she purred. "And you'll like it."

Her fingers walked up my shoulder. My arm still ached excruciatingly, as if I'd broken a bone. My tearducts stung.

"Fuck off," I muttered, hearing another pair of footsteps behind me. Nyma turned.

"Oh! Hey," she smiled. I could already tell who it was, and he pushed her off. Cold.

"Is she with you?" Lance asked, his voice muffled from the tissue. I shook my head. "That would make sense. You're not looking for a mate."

I shrugged. The veins in my left arm protruded my skin painfully. There were purple fingerprints on my wrist, still. Shiro definitely didn't feel any remorse. I felt my eyes well up as the pain seared up my shoulder, flaring in the gland within my neck. Lance kept his distance, and leaned on the balcony.

"I hope you realise that I don't hate you." 

"That's obvious," I muttered, my hair hiding my tears. "Just keep your distance if you don't want another nosebleed."

"Actually," Lance shoved his tissue in his pocket. "I initiated that fight. I took off my gloves; you have a black eye. I think we're equal."

Silence seemed to be a thing from now on. Between us, it was soothing, but knowing that Lance always had something on his mind, made me feel on edge. I subtly wiped away my tears, not even daring to move my left arm.

"Does your mentor do that often?" Lance whispered. "Mine only did it to me once, and that was when I fought you yesterday."

I nodded. "Every time he does it, it's more painful than the last. Does it hurt for you?"

Lance shrugged. "It makes me feel nauseous. The pain is like having a shot."

"Oh," I looked down at the people walking in the streets. Maybe it hurt more for me due to thicker blood, or I was an Alpha, and Lance was something different. He was way too strong to be an Omega or a Beta, though. Maybe he had a higher pain tolerance. "It feels like I've broken a bone twice."

Lance bit his lip. "You sounded like you were in a lot of pain, Keith."

I turned to him. He genuinely looked as if he feared for my life, and if Shiro was going to blatantly murder me. Under all that muscle, brains and brawn, Lance was actually compassionate. I didn't want to believe it, but he cared. Once he saw a tear roll down my cheek, however, he sighed, looking towards the city.

"I want to go home," he whispered. "I hate it here. I miss my family."

"At least you have a family."

"Do you need a hug?" he asked meekly, but I was already heading back down to the bedroom. I couldn't. The idea was great, but not after he'd hugged and flirted with so many other Districts. He stayed up there. I couldn't care less. I just kept thinking of home. 

If Lance was going to switch into submission whenever I hit him, I felt awful. I had to ally with him at some point, even if I didn't want to. The image of his bleeding nose haunted me. Not only that, but he looked genuinely scared for me when Shiro squeezed my wrist. I tucked myself into bed; I had to keep my distance and behave until the arena. I was going to end up dead before the games even started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i drew [keith n his FIRE GLOVES](https://pixelpearl.tumblr.com/post/164101520718/rumour-has-it-that-the-male-of-district-12s-gloves) go check it out ily <33
> 
> thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos, omg <3


	11. Assistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training day two.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, glaring at my black eye, the scrapes down my cheek, and the bruises all over my arms. It was unbelievable that I could've killed Lance yesterday, and just thinking about it made me want to vomit. I'd never been so violent before, ever, and knowing that I had the strength to do just that made me want to disqualify myself from the Games. If that was even possible. The Games involved killing anyway; I'd just have to wait until then.

"You look rough," Shiro smirked, his arms folded, glaring at my reflection. I covered my pulse record. My veins were protruding and looked purple under my pale skin. My gland hadn't gone down, and it still hurt whenever I moved my neck.

"Why do you use the hormone against me?" I asked, zipping up my bodysuit. "Do you not understand how much it hurts?"

"I understand perfectly," Shiro replied, his face showing no mercy. "My mentor used to do the same thing to me. You have to get used to it, Keith."

"But it doesn't hurt as much for anyone else," I frowned, turning to him. "Are you doing this because I'm an Alpha?"

"I'm testing your tolerance so you don't act like it's some sort of walk in the park," Shiro spat. "In my Games, there was only one Victor. I lost my mate because of that."

I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."

"Don't give me your pity, Kogane," he hissed, holding open the door for me. "I know that every time you apologise it's a lie."

"It's not -!"

His arm raised to clamp his grip down on my wrist again. Instantly, I raced out of the bedroom, past the banquet table and into the elevator. All I heard was frantic beeping; I was terrified, I hated the feeling of the hormone surging through my bloodstream, and the way Shiro threatened it so frequently. If only I'd behaved in the first place. If only I'd tolerated Lance's shitty behaviour and not lashed out at him, maybe I'd never had to feel it in the first place.

The elevator descended. My heart was still hammering in my chest, the silence of the elevator making it sound a lot worse. And then the realisation swept over me: I'd missed breakfast, and today was my second day of training. I'd be so weak during it all; and I didn't need Lance's pity, either. I had to keep my distance from him. I didn't want to go into a frenzy from an outburst of strength, before collapsing to the floor. I barely had any energy left. My head ached.

The injuries inflicted on me weren't helping; I didn't even know if I was  _fit_ to train today.

As soon as I reached the training room, Pidge and her brother were already at the survival station, lighting a fire by themselves. Shay stood nearby, her pen scribbling furiously against the clipboard. Pidge looked up at me, her glasses glinting in the blinding light. She then turned to her brother and whispered something incoherent. What had I done now?

I walked over to the boxing punch bags, sighing a little bit. Maybe I could use those for letting out my rage, instead. It seemed like a much better option after giving Lance a bleeding nose yesterday. I picked up the binding tape and wrapped it around my palms and the bases of my fingers, before slipping my leather gloves over the top. I began hitting the bag with everything I had, including a couple of kicks, ignoring the hunger pangs and the dizziness, as well as the energy draining in my body. I had to ask for something to eat, otherwise I'd have another bad episode. The satisfaction of fire and embers furiously flying from my hands made me punch harder.

Punching something else other than a person was almost  _therapeutic_ , and if I had this station for myself for the next half an hour while the other Tributes had breakfast, maybe I could learn something new, and I'd be in a better mood to talk to Lance. At least I wouldn't insult him.

"Whoa, Keith, mind your core," Pidge clambered onto the station and planted her hand on my stomach. "Keep it rock hard. Widen your legs a little."

"Since when did you," I panted, throwing a couple more punches while her hand remained on my core, "have knowledge in this?"

"You've seen my Tribute profile, right?" she grinned, removing her hand. "Don't tuck your thumb under your fingers. If you punch that hard you're going to break it."

She was actually a good personal trainer, if she wasn't so tied-in with the Games, and the pressure to succeed. Shay walked over, flipping the paper on her clipboard until she made it to the last page. Matt sauntered over, his glasses pushing his hair back. He was also examining my physique.

"Did you guys skip breakfast this morning?" I asked, steadying the punch bag as I caught my breath. Matt nodded, scratching the back of his neck guiltily.

"My sister wanted to start early, and grab the stations before anyone else did," he explained. "I feel so unwell."

Upon further inspection, Matt  _did_ look pale, and a little lightheaded. Was he one of the five Alphas?

Shay sighed. "Breakfast is important before training, you should know that. We have a couple of protein bars and bottles of water if you'd like some. We just need proof."

"Proof?" I asked. Shay nodded.

Matt and I were escorted into a separate room, just a door away from the training room, while Pidge transferred herself to the archer's station. Shay beckoned me in first, leaving Matt behind. It looked like a doctor's clinic, with a bed, a desk, and shelves with syringes and other medicines. A first-aid kit hung on the wall.

"I just need proof before you have any of our specialised foods," Shay explained, picking up a small syringe. My palms went clammy. Not another. "Since Alphas rely on nutrition because of their overall physique and wellbeing, we can't give away anything to an Omega or a Beta."

"Understandable," I raised a brow. 

"If you're wondering, the amount of energy within these products is so high it'd cause an Omega or a Beta to experience a hypersensitivity."

I flinched as the needle took a sample of my blood. "I'm sorry?"

"Basically," Shay smirked, inserting the needle into a reader. "It's like they're given too much of one thing. Some symptoms include vomiting, migraines, sometimes seizures."

My medical record flashed up on the screen, displaying everything intimate and personal, including my secondary gender. Shay nodded, opening a drawer and picking up a packaged protein bar and a bottle of water. The packaging was a single shade of blue. No brand, no nutrition information. Maybe it was to conceal my identity, so nobody could find out I was an Alpha.

"Do not give this to anyone else, not even to another Alpha, if you can guess what they are," she said. "This formula is only for your body type. Enjoy your training."

Matt filed in next as I chewed gratefully into the bar, walking over to the training room. Lance had arrived, and he was elegantly flipping and turning around the hoops, spreading his legs  _impressively_ wide. He maintained his balance, keeping his arms straight as he outstretched his legs from his body. Then his eyes fell on me, causing him to topple instantly. I smirked.

"Keith, can you get my arrows for me?" Pidge called, and I threw away the wrapper, heading down the path of sand to collect three arrows stuck securely in the middle of the target. The taste of the bar lingered in my mouth a little longer; it wasn't particularly any flavour, it was just sweet. I felt better instantly.

"Nice shots, Kate," I replied, handing her the arrows back, She narrowed her eyes at me, a knowing smile stretched across her lips.

"Don't abuse that knowledge," she chuckled. "Mr Knife Guy."

"Are you  _flirtin_ _g?"_ I teased, exaggerating a shocked gasp. The pink rose upon her cheeks as she shot too early, missing the target completely. "Katie Holt, you cheeky bitch."

She tried to load her arrow again, but ended up dropping her bow in fits of laughter, hitting me in the arm. Lance was staring in jealousy, his back bent in an arc, his leg straight up in the air. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I hope you suck a dick, Keith," Pidge snorted, loading another arrow.

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

Another fit of giggles. She missed the target. "For that, you can get my arrows again."

"Nope, you can get them," I laughed, walking over to observe Lance.

He was trying his best with every single pose, and it was impressive how he could bend in positions that I'd consider painful. He was doing that splits pose again, his elbows bending inwards as he clenched his teeth and strained, sweat making his hair damp. His back was bent. He obviously didn't know how posture worked. His gaze kept flitting to me as I went behind him and placed my hands on his waist.

"What are you doing?!" he hissed. "I don't need your help."

"You do," I scoffed. "You're going to throw out your back otherwise. Straighten out, you're making yourself ache."

Lance hesitated, before he gave in and let me help. I had to turn my reputation around if I wanted Shiro to stop lashing out at me. I wonder if the general public heard about me fighting Lance, which wasn't good; if I didn't get any sponsors during the Games I wouldn't last long. At least he was listening to me. Slowly, but surely, he balanced his elbows so they were straight, and I settled my hand on the small of his back, letting him adjust. His legs were still outstretched.

"There," I took my hands off him and moved to see his front. "Stop blushing, I didn't feel you up."

Lance's cheeks flushed even more, his arms wobbling, before he landed. "Thanks, I guess."

"For what?" I scoffed, grabbing the hoops and hoisting myself up. "I didn't do anything. You're the one that straightened yourself."

He sighed. Talking to him was actually a lot of fun; he was easy to tease, in a playful way. it was hilarious seeing him get flustered. "You're positioning your legs wrong."

I raised a brow. "I'm not."

"Actually," Lance scoffed, placing his hands on the insides of my thighs, pushing slightly.  _Not there. Fuck you._ "You're not stretching your hamstrings correctly. Widen your legs a little, or stop copying me, Kogane."

"What in the name of fuck are you guys doing?" Pidge snorted, glaring at Lance's hands. "This is a training room. Not the bedroom."

My cheeks flared as I dropped down from the hoops instantly. Lance grinned. "Lance was showing me how to stretch!"

Pidge raised an eyebrow, eyeing me unconvincingly. "Right."

I shot a glare at Lance. He winked right back. I didn't stretch for the rest of the day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i WanTEd To WRitE So mUCH MoRE but maybe ill have a nsfw bonus chapter dedicated to stretching later idk lmao


	12. Saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Threats can be terrifying.

I soon learned that Lance really was talented at lifting heavy weights, and as the other Tributes filed out of the room, he remained in the corner, holding a large weight above his head, both of his arms trembling. I watched as I slipped my gloves off and unwound the binding tape from my fingers, in sheer curiosity. I wondered if he had the strength to lift a person. I wondered if he had the strength to lift _me_. His head dripped with sweat as he finally held the weight high, and dropped it confidently with a loud _thud_ on the floor. His head lifted after gaining his breath.

"I didn't think you were that strong," I said, walking with him to the elevator. "Is it just from swimming?"

Lance shrugged, wiping his forehead as he pressed the button for our floor. I clutched my water bottle in my hand, taking a final sip as it emptied down my throat. I swallowed eagerly, already looking forward to the food later.

"Some of it's swimming," Lance panted. "Why do you have water?"

I froze. I couldn't tell him the exact reason why. I didn't want him to see me as an asshole of an Alpha; I saw myself as one anyway. Maybe he already saw me as an asshole.

"I didn't have breakfast this morning," I explained, crushing the bottle. Lance's brow furrowed.

"I thought I heard something," he flexed his fingers. "Why did you rush out so quickly?"

I sighed. "Shiro threatened to activate the hormone again."

"Oh." Lance frowned.

As we ascended to our floor, there was another long silence. We were actually being civil to one another for once, and perhaps it was either from the punch bag, or helping him out with stretching. Either way, it was a comfortable silence. Not awkward, but then again, not soothing. I didn't want to hang around in the elevator for long.

"So," Lance began, "we're actually having a proper conversation, huh."

"Don't ruin it."

When we reached the floor, Lance walked out in silence. Strange. He was always so talkative and now he was heading into his room, totally quiet. Was he thinking about an alliance with me? I didn't want to ruin his fun but I really wanted to deal with the Games alone. Even if I did fall for someone, I had to come to terms that the chance of them dying was high; so it's not like I could bother. I was independent. I could do things on my own. It wasn't as if I had to be babied. I just had to buck up my behaviour, get used to Shiro's assertiveness, and get as many sponsors as I could. I could do that.

I was grateful for the long shower I took, closing my eyes in sheer bliss as I bathed in tea tree and mint, the scent sinking into my skin. Relaxation was so rare nowadays. It had been a while since I was totally tranquil, and now that I'd had a good training day, I could have a good night's sleep. I didn't have to worry about apologising to Lance, or talking to Shiro.

Dinner was late. I kept my cool despite Nyma and Plaxum bickering about mates. Tonight it was an array of tantalising dishes, such as pizza, olives, pasta, bread rolls, fruit, vegetables - it was almost as if they were serving our last meal. Maybe they were serving us our last meal. A little bit of dread hung over me like a cloud at that realisation; I could actually die soon. Lance scooted slightly closer, as if he could smell something. He started lifting things with his fork and wafting it near his nose, a look of concern upon his face.

"What's minty?" he asked, turning his head to me. "Is it you?"

"Can you get any closer?" I murmured. Shiro glared. "It's only body oil, Lance."

The tanned boy kept his distance as I tucked back into my meal, finishing it quickly before anything else happened. I couldn't risk missing another meal. I had to rely on protein if I wanted to perform my best at the Games. Lance finished in his time - he didn't really have anyone threatening him at this point.

But it seemed as if I'd thought too hard. Shiro grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into my bedroom, almost tripping as I went. The mentors and Tributes stared in shock as my pulse record activated, almost like a siren. What had I done?! I'd behaved all day! Another hard toss onto my bed and Shiro was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Can you not leave Four alone?!" he shouted. I quickly covered the pulse record, backing up on the bed until I reached the headboard. I hadn't done anything bad. I behaved. I didn't fight with Lance today. I didn't deserve the pain. "Why aren't you focusing on yourself?!"

"I-I am -" I quivered, my breathing becoming erratic.

"You are going to end up dead, Kogane," he hissed. "You better focus on your own physique otherwise you'll end up as another useless victim in the Games."

I didn't know what happened inside me, but something snapped. All he seemed to do was yell at every little thing I did, he never really gave any good suggestions or tips. He wasn't a mentor. He was just someone who had a bad experience in the Games, who had someone else to take his rage out of.

"What kind of mentor are you?!" I yelled, getting to my knees. "I hope you realise I've learned nothing from you! Not a single fucking thing!"

"How dare you," he hissed, jabbing my chest. "I'll have you know that I'm one of the most favoured ever since I won the Games. I think you're forgetting that, Twelve."

"Who fucking cares!" I snapped. "It gives you no right to be a shitty- _wait,_ no, Shiro, _please_ _-"_

I writhed and trembled as his fingers wrapped around my arm, seething in pain as the agony from yesterday returned. I thought he was going to break my arm, but he was raising his hand, my pulse record bleeping furiously, my name flashing red upon the screen, him letting go to reach for it -

"Shiro, please -" I choked, tears welling in my eyes. "Don't, it hurts, I'm sorry -!"

I opened my mouth to yell, my eyes squeezing shut to brace myself for the agonising pain as his arm came down rapidly, but a scream didn't come out of my mouth. It was a horrible, blood-curdling, knee-trembling scream that sounded awfully familiar. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see Lance, and his wrist being gripped by Shiro, his face contorting in pain. My mentor let go, giving me a sharp warning glare, before leaving the room. I wiped my cheeks, my heart finally calming down. I didn't understand. I didn't understand why he used it as a weapon. I was scared that it'd have the power to kill me.

Lance, however, sat on the end of my bed, clutching his wrist. He saved me from even more excruciating pain and I didn't know how to thank him for it. I'd beaten him, given him a bloody nose, insulted him - and yet, he was still compassionate enough to take Shiro's iron strength. Hesitantly, I crawled over to the tanned boy.

"Are you okay- "

"Why are you asking me!?" he breathed, stressed tears forcibly streaming down his cheeks. "He's abusing his power, Keith! Shiro doing it hurt way more than the way my mentor did! You have to speak with someone."

I sighed. I guess he was kind of abusing his power. I did feel threatened whenever I was in his line of sight, or whenever he raised a hand near me. Sometimes he'd raise it, and then walk off, threatening even more pain. But Lance looked so, so distraught. Something stirred inside me; seeing him sobbing like this didn't sit right. At all.

"I saw your name flashing on the leaderboard. We all did," he choked, rubbing his left forearm. His heart rate was slowly decreasing back to normal. I'd gotten used to seeing him hurt. But nothing like this. "I knew what was going on and I know how much it hurts. And now I understand the amount of pain you're going through."

I didn't know what to say. I was in between thanking him, being shocked, and bursting into tears. "Thank you, Lance," I whispered, staring at my gloves.

Lance smiled, wiping his tears. "I mean, I guess we're not total rivals any more. I still think you're a little scary."

"Everyone thinks I'm a little scary," I looked up at him, a small smile creeping across my lips. His eyes glistened with joy for just a second, and my face fell, wondering what the hell he was so happy about.

After letting the pain subside, he walked towards the door of my room to get to his. "Have a good night, Keith, I'll know if you're awake."

"Creepy." I replied. I knew he meant the leaderboard. "Sleep tight, fish boy."

Lance rolled his eyes, before stopping halfway through the door.

"Smiling suits you."

I sighed, falling back onto my bed, feeling so, so grateful. I didn't even have a genuine reason to hate him any more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :")


	13. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choosing to ally is harder than Keith thought.

"Shiro, can I speak to you for a minute?"

It was barely past five in the morning and we were stood on the balcony, relishing the fresh, morning breeze, shivering against the cold rail as we gazed down into the sleepy streets below. There weren't many people walking around, for obvious reasons, but the scenery and the sunrise was wonderful. My father was probably watching the same sunrise; it almost hurt to think about him.

I'd plucked up the courage to actually ask Shiro for help, and ask him why he'd use the hormone to calm me down so frequently, knowing that it hurt like hell. He turned his head, looking calmer than usual. I wondered why he got any sleep. He nodded.

"What happened to you?" I asked, the gentle blue glow flourishing against my pale skin. "What did the Games do to you?"

"I don't want to frighten you." Shiro replied. "But they're smarter than you think. Zarkon has his hand on the kill switch. Alfor has his on the sponsors and healthcare of the Tributes. It's a very contrary relationship, Keith, but you have to learn that not everything falling from the sky is a good thing."

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brow. Shiro sighed, looking up at the clouds.

"I thought I'd finally found someone. I won't tell you who, but," he chuckled sadly, "when a parachute came down once, they thought it was medicine. Or ointment - I forget - but as soon as their fingers touched the metal capsule..."

I intertwined my fingers and braced myself for the unimaginable. Alfor and Zarkon had a peculiar alliance, and even though the citizens looking up to them relied on them, I truly doubted that their intentions were very different from one another.

"It was a bomb." Shiro muttered, looking at his hands. "And then I won, but it wasn't as if I was happy about it."

Nervousness made my pulse race, and I automatically covered the sliver of glass fixed to my wrist. A  _bomb._  And they had the power to do that, too - the entire country was watching us kill each other on television. Maybe that was the reason why Shiro kept reminding me to focus, just so I didn't have to go through the same pain he did. He still cared, but ever since he'd almost crushed my arm, my trust with him was wavering.

"So, keep an eye on yourself, Keith," Shiro murmured. "Make allies, don't make friends. You're allowed to have fun, but try not to fall in love."

It seemed so dramatic, thinking of it now. It was terrible knowing that, even though there was a change of rules since mates seemed more important, I could lose some of the people I helped and talked to during training. Even the image of seeing Nyma  _dead_ was haunting.

The hormone. I had to ask about the hormone.

"Why do you use the hormone against me?"

Shiro shook his head, laughing to himself. "Many reasons. Toughening you up. Expecting the unexpected. You're an Alpha, Keith. It's going to hurt."

"But why should that matter?"

"Alphas should know their place." Shiro answered. "I'm teaching you to be weary, or you'll be killed."

I sighed. "I guess so. But can you be a little less rough?"

"Stop fighting with Lance and maybe I will."

We went back down after that. I still had to deal with the fact that, even though he was using it as a mentor scheme, I was going to be hurt, emotionally and physically. For the first time, I was genuinely scared, for so, so many reasons. I was scared to make friends, maybe fall in love, even though I'd said that mates didn't matter. I just had to please the public and the Capitol; play along with Alfor and Zarkon's stupid Games, and stop being so selfish. 

"Today you're going to be performing in front of the Gamemakers," Shiro explained, as I grabbed the training bodysuit from my closet. "They're going to be judging how you use your skills and agility. Which means for you, you'll be dealing with knives."

"Gamemakers?" I questioned, zipping up the back, running my fingers through my hair.

"High-class Alteans and a few of the Galra," Shiro nodded. I grabbed my gloves from my nightstand and slipped them on. "So, mind your behaviour, watch your mouth, and keep your Alpha identity hush."

I raised an eyebrow. I wasn't  _that_ violent.

"I mean it."

I headed to the banquet table next, noticing the lack of District Four. Maybe they were getting a briefing of today, like I just had. It was peaceful without Lance, but without his laugh and voice, the table was quiet. Eerily quiet. I kept an eye on the pastries he always reached for so they wouldn't run out, and grabbed my own breakfast, waiting for him to get back.

He arrived a couple of minutes later, bidding everyone a good morning, his smile happy and wide. He was always delighted, no matter the occasion. Pulling out his chair, he sat down and reached for his favourite foods, his sapphire eyes glinting from the crystal chandeliers above us.

I blinked a few times, glaring at my glass of water. He complimented me on my smile yesterday. And saved me from Shiro. Suddenly, my thoughts were very, _very_ conflicted, and my immediate silence bewildered everyone.

"You okay?" Lance raised a brow, licking cream from his fingers. "You kinda froze there for a minute."

My gaze flitted from his fingers, to him, to his fingers again, to his tongue - 

"I've had enough, I might start training," I swallowed, pushing my chair under the table. "I, er, early bird catches the worm, right?"

I almost screamed in the elevator going down at how lucky I was when I'd escaped - my pulse record was bleeping at a million miles per hour and I certainly didn't want any of them to know why my heart rate was through the roof. There was no way.  _No way_. I didn't even know if our secondary genders were compatible, let alone if he was,  _if he was -!_

"What are you doing, Keith," I sighed, my pulse record calming. I took a couple of deep breaths. I had to stay away from him until the Games. Shiro said to not make friends. "Focus."

The training room was occupied by the Holt siblings again, with Pidge perfecting her archery expertise, quick-firing arrows into the middle of each target, smiling as wide as she could when she got each one right. Before she went to collect her arrows, her head did a double-take, her face contorting in concern.

"You look... bad?" Pidge raised a brow. "You okay?"

"Thinking about home," I lied. "Early again?"

Pidge nodded. "I'm thinking about home, too. My brother and I have such supportive parents."

"Ah," I folded my arms. "You must be quite a secure family, then. Are you geniuses? District Five kind of is."

She laughed a little bit, looping her bow around her body, resting it upon her shoulder. "We're not exactly child prodigies, but we're pretty smart."

"So how come you can shoot?"

"It's kind of a past-time," she shrugged, scratching the back of her neck. Her eyes kept flitting to something behind my shoulder. I looked at her questioningly. "Sorry, It's just- Lance? Are you alright?"

"Mm," Lance shrugged. "Keith left quite abruptly this morning."

Oh God. I really didn't want to go into that. I'd never get that image out of my head again. His slender fingers pressed down on his knuckles, popping them.

"Yeah, I wanted to come down early," I kept myself occupied with my gloves. "We have to practice for the Gamemakers, right?"

Pidge sighed, looking at us questioningly. "You guys have some weird chemistry going on."

"You're still wearing those gloves," Lance smirked, taking my wrist in his warm hand. As much as I wanted to keep my distance, it was like I was  _drawn to him_. "Do you ever take these off?"

"When I sleep."

"Oh, Pidge," Lance laughed. "Keith smiled last night."

"He did?" she giggled. "Aw, you should smile more often-  _Keith,_ come back!"

I'd never been so flustered throwing knives before.  _Don't make friends. Don't make friends. Make allies._ I could feel their eyes on me as I practised; I already felt anxious for performing in front of the Gamemakers. I wonder if Lance was prepared. He was lifting weights again, before moving onto the hoops, his legs wide, his eyes on me - 

I propelled my next knife at the final target, the entire room going quiet as it slammed against the floor, my heart still racing, my pulse record going crazy. What was I thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	14. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allies and friends are two very different things.

After training finished, we were ushered into a separate waiting room, waiting for our names to be called. We were waiting for the Tributes in front to perform in front of the Gamemakers, and since everyone was nervous, there was a lot of chatter in the room. The Altean guards didn't look too impressed at our language and the way we carried ourselves, but we were probably stronger and wittier than them, regarding our current state. Besides, it was  _us_ taking part in their shitty Games, not them. It was their fault we were so talkative.

It seemed as if it was also a chance to gain allies and discuss mates - Nyma wasn't sat by me, she was off talking to the males of Six, Eight and Ten, along with Plaxum. Pidge conversed with her brother in an attempt to encourage one another, which I saw as very compassionate. Lance sat, bouncing his knee, one foot on a chair, the other on the ground, facing a girl from Two behind him. The way he flirted was incredibly obvious, but I couldn't help but feel slightly alone. Everyone seemed to have  _someone_ \- Lance may as well have had the entire Tribute group on his side - and I didn't really  _fit_. Was I that scary?

"Heya, Twelve," Matt sauntered over, sitting in the seat beside me. "You look forlorn. Thinking about family again?"

"Kind of," I shrugged. "Do you think mates and allies are that important?"

Matt pushed his spectacles onto his nose as his sister stood in front of me, her arms folded, her foot tapping impatiently on the floor. She looked just as nervous as everyone else. Even though Matt seemed like the desirable sort, it was strange that nobody chose him first. I glanced over to Lance, and suddenly I knew why. Lance was slender, muscular, an annoying flirt; attractive from the outside. Matt was built like an Alpha, which arose my suspicions after he complained about feeling sick when he didn't eat. He was also more on the brains side than the brawn. Preferences were weird.

"I think it all depends on trust with allies," Matt swung his legs. "You need to find the right person, and you can't just suddenly become best friends within a couple of weeks, so allies sort of seem pointless. We're all going to die anyway, right?"

_"District One..."_

"I think mates are only if you want to take your secondary gender seriously," Pidge grinned. "I mean, if the Capitol want a tragic romance, then so be it. You might be a little more likeable if you have someone to fight for."

"Bonus points if you have sex on live TV." Matt snorted. I shook my head, chuckling to myself. It seemed so unrealistic.

Pidge took her seat beside me, and then Lance appeared, towering over me with his ridiculous height. I had to crane my neck before he knelt down on the floor.

"Are you guys going to be allies?" he asked, sounding slightly disappointed. "I really can't ally with anyone."

"Is being a lady-killer not working out for you?" Pidge sneered. "Maybe not everyone wants a douchebag on their team."

Her tone surprised me. Lance never was a  _douchebag_ , apart from the times when we fought. He'd never been horrid to anyone else in the group.

_"District Two..."_

All his intentions had been compassionate. He was trying his best.

Lance's face fell. "I'll have you know that I don't even want to come in contact with anyone during the Games. I'm just as scared -"

"Join the club," Matt smirked. "Look, we'll ally with you if we trust you enough."

"That's kind of understandable," he sighed. "What about mates?"

We all shared a look. The idea of having a mate struck fear in all of us. I thought we were all on the same kind of wavelength, which made me feel better about my selfishness. Lance looked surprised.

"So you aren't going to fall in love?" he stood up. "You're going to throw this new rule away like it's nothing?"

"What if your mate dies, Lance?" I asked. "I'm genuinely asking you. What would you do then?"

"I'd kill myself."

_"District Three..."_

I frowned. "The world doesn't evolve around one person, Lance, you're going to have to learn that. Especially in heat-of-the-moment type of things when your only impulse is to love another. It's not actual love, is it? It's driven by fear."

Matt nodded. "Keith's making a good point."

Pidge shuffled to the right, patting the empty space between us so Lance could sit down. Despite arguing about mates, I'd learned to tolerate him, even though he pounced on every single girl and blatantly flirted with them. It was disgustingly obvious. 

Maybe he had a fear of being alone. From my view of his pulse record, it was moments away from bleeping frantically - so it was obvious that he was worried about something. He needed someone to guide him. To protect him; although, he probably had the strength to protect himself. If he'd been rejected, perhaps he was struggling with the fact that he was going to die alone.

"Lance," I muttered. "Say if you did win the Games. What would you do?"

"With a mate or without?" he asked.

"Without, first of all."

Lance thought for a moment. "I think I'd dedicate my winnings to my family."

"That's it?" I raised a brow. "You wouldn't look for a mate when you've gone home?"

_"District Four, female."_

Lance fidgeted. He was hiding something. "W-well, no."

"Why not?" I asked. "I'm not forcing you to say anything. I'm just curious. You're so set on finding a mate."

"I'm not set on finding a mate," he murmured. That was a lie. "It's just- It's just who I am, alright?"

_"District Four, male."_

Lance stood up, walking towards the slowly-rising door, not looking back. 

"Wait," I called. "What if you did win with a mate?" 

He looked back, smiling pitifully. "I won't though, will I, Keith? That's the reality, right?"

Guilt hit my chest like an arrow when the door closed. Pidge tutted, straightening her back and stretching. I'd hit a sensitive spot inside of him, and even though I knew I was selfish, I still cared enough to feel remorse. I'd done something wrong. Emotionally, this time. He was hesitant, quiet, like he was concealing something he didn't want to tell anyone about. Or maybe I was overthinking everything.

_"District Five, female."_

Pidge stood up, walking confidently to the door. Her brother put on a proud smile and waved her off.

"Shoot straight, Holt," I called. She rolled her eyes, before heading into the door as it closed. Matt sighed.

"It's going to end ugly," he shrugged. "I know it is."

"Does she want a mate?" I asked.

"I don't think so, but it's not like I care," he replied. "No matter what, she's going to be my little sister."

I nodded. "I hope you two protect each other."

"We will, I'm sure," Matt chuckled. "Are you allying with Lance? Do you like him?"

_"District Five, male."_

"I'll get that answer out of you, later," he winked, approaching the door. "He seems to like you."

"Not possible, I gave him a nosebleed," I shook my head. "Good luck."

I put my head in my hands, waiting impatiently for my turn. I didn't know what to think about Lance any more. Every time the idea of an alliance came into my head, it seemed so unrealistic. He'd been flirting and talking to everyone else, practically everyone was on his team, and although that made him less susceptible to killing, it was slightly cowardly of him. But he wasn't a coward. He was strong, physically more than emotionally. He was agile, and probably quick, too, if sprinting was a training option. I had to consider it, despite wanting to keep my distance. I just had to control my feelings.

Shiro would never forgive me if I put my emotions over my own life. No friends. No mates. Just allies.

Were the Gamemakers going to be impressed by just  _knife throwing?_ Surely it was the oldest trick in the book. At least the siblings and Lance had something to work for. My talent and skills were so cliché, I'd probably be awarded a lower mark to everyone else. Maybe I could make a stand against their stupid mate theory, and prove that Alphas weren't  _that_ into coddling and protecting. Shiro said to keep it hush, but part of me wanted to prove that fighting for life was better than fighting for love.

Soon enough, after watching the other tributes file out, I was the final one waiting for my name to be called. This was all the training I was going to get. Then, all I had to wait for were the final ceremonies. The Games were at the very end.

_"District Twelve, male."_

With a deep breath, I walked into the room, observing all the equipment I could use at my disposal. There were arrows in targets, left by Pidge. Weights had been thrown into sand by Lance. Dummies had been kicked over by Matt, I assumed. I approached the shelf with ethereal-looking, purple-bladed knives, and looked up at the room where the Gamemakers observed. It was a fair share of both Galra and Alteans, sitting around a table drinking a blue liquid from long champagne flutes. I still had no idea what that stuff was.

"Uh," I cleared my throat. "Keith Kogane? District Twelve."

The leader wore a long, white, Altean robe, his hair clipped short. "Choose your expertise."

I tapped the shelf of knives. They surely weren't  _that_ stupid.

The Altean glared, nodding to grant me permission to throw. I could either fake a stumble, or pour in all of my strength and prove that the Games were a fight to the death to win alone, and not to fight for dominance for a mate. I grabbed three knives and faced the fake human targets; the ones made out of board, just like in the training room. With my legs shoulder-width apart, and my focus all in the target, I gripped the handle of my first knife and hurled it into the middle of the target.

I turned to gain confirmation from the Altean, who was currently whispering among his peers. Did he not see that?

They had the responsibility to watch me, and since I was so angry, I flung the next knives into the target, one after the other, before turning to them and glaring. They couldn't do anything about me, nor my strength. I didn't choose to have a secondary gender in the first place.

"Have fun in your 'Mating' Games, gentlemen," I sneered, bowing. "Maybe next year everyone will be allowed to kiss and make up."

They all glared at me as I left the room, my pulse record beeping as I took a couple of deep breaths. I was annoyed. Angry, even - they didn't regard skills as a factor. Maybe they were taking mates seriously this year. All of that anxiousness and training for nothing.

That night, we all huddled around the leaderboard screen, that Shiro had changed to a television. I hadn't told him about my experience with the Gamemakers at all, knowing he'd be furious with me. Apparently we were waiting for scores, but did they matter, when the whole Hunger Games thing was a pointless tragic romance show now? Did Lance even bother with showing them his skills? Did they watch him?

_"As I'm sure you all know, our Tributes are scored through one to twelve, with twelve being the highest. Here are the lineups for this year, and our Gamemaker's excellent choices! Who will you be fighting up against this year?"_

"He said fighting instead of fucking," I whispered. Lance smirked.

I had to wait until the end of the lineup to be called, but it wasn't like I cared. I was prepared for the arena; I just wanted to get in there and get it over with. I didn't need the celebrations, or the parties, or the ceremonies. I was only here for one reason, in the end, and that was because I was chosen for the Reaping. Now I was forced to find a mate, fight for my life, put my trust in others, go through unnecessary pain -

_"District Four, Plaxum: six."_

Four's mentor applauded, as well as Nyma. Lance's legs were bouncing again in anxiousness.

_"District Four, Lance McClain: ten."_

I gasped, and the room erupted in applause, with Lance glaring at the screen in disbelief. I actually felt proud of him for exceeding his expectations. Lance's gaze flitted to me, the smile on his face completely ecstatic.

"Surprised?" he winked. I rolled my eyes, automatically feeling my cheeks heat up.

_"District Five, Katie Holt: ten."_

"They used her real name?" Nyma scoffed. "Whatever, she's a bitch."

Lance and I looked at her. "Pidge isn't a bitch," I frowned. I was proud of Pidge too.

Nyma glared.

_"District Five, Matt Holt: nine."_

I gasped again - surprisingly, Pidge had beaten her brother, who was older, and stronger than her. Lance laughed a little. Pidge was someone who I considered an ally, as well as her brother.

The rest of the Tributes appeared on the screen. The lowest of all was the female from Eight, who had a score of three. Finally, it reached Twelve, and I was fidgeting in anticipation. Lance nudged me and pointed to the screen.

"I'll bet that Nyma got better than you," he whispered. I rolled my eyes.

_"District Twelve, Nyma Allcott: six."_

I gave Lance a knowing look. "Still think she's doing better than me?"

_"District Twelve, Keith Kogane: ten."_

Now I was neck-and-neck with Lance, but this time, it didn't feel like such a negative thing. Shiro applauded, a proud smile upon his face. Nyma walked off to her room. Lance whistled, his applause much louder than Shiro's until he turned to me and grinned.

"I guess we are rivals now, huh," he winked. I wish he'd stop. It began affecting me in ways I didn't think were imaginable. 

"I think you deserved higher," I shrugged. "You have impeccable strength."

Lance's face went soft. He really had done better than he thought, and knowing that he was good at something, and praised for it, made him feel better about himself. I could see the glow from the joy beaming in his eyes.

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should keith ally? ;^)


	15. Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance doesn't seem his usual self. Shiro reveals a last-minute test.

Nothing seemed a chore anymore, now that the intense training had ended, and we'd received our scores. With only a couple of ceremonies and final checks left, the Games were looming, and I had started thinking about allies. Matt and Pidge were a definite, even if they didn't feel the same way. I felt sceptical about Lance. Allies, according to what my heart felt, didn't seem enough. And although I was getting to know Lance better after getting off on the wrong foot, I couldn't begin trusting him immediately. Either I'd have to force conversations, or wait until the actual Games.

I still had some vital questions about it, and Shiro was the only person who knew. Taking a deep breath, I approached his room meekly, peering in while leaning against the door. No drama. I didn't want to have to deal with the hormone again. He was sat on the bed, his nose deep in a thick, hardback book.

"I have a couple of questions," I said. Shiro lifted his head from his book. "Is it... bad? To be, to be what I am?"

"Well," Shiro folded a page and crossed his arms. "Yes and no. You're the strongest, so you might be eliminated. However, you're desirable, you're strong, you're agile, and Alphas usually win, right?"

"What about hormone-wise?" I muttered. "Urges. Stuff like that."

"You mean sex pheromones?" he raised an eyebrow. I sighed, nodding. Despite my curiosity, I still wondered how the 'mate' part really worked. "Since you're - y'know - you might be susceptible to weakness if you find an Omega in heat. Or, if your energy levels plummet. You have quite a few vulnerabilities, and you already know that it's in your blood to be possessive over your mate, Keith. No matter who they are. You might even become attracted accidentally and not even _like_ the person in the first place.

"Not only that," Shiro continued, "but you have dangerous urges. You might sometimes receive serums in the arena to control your hormones to prevent things like getting too violent over your chosen mate."

"But I'm fighting everyone to the death anyway," I murmured. Shiro nodded.

"I mean fighting for a mate. You'll be dominant. All of that sudden contact with everyone's scents will make you territorial. You'll become aggressive and tend to mark things, if you will. There have been cases of non-consensual sex and pregnancies in the past. That's why you're having a test today."

I swallowed hard. "A test?"

All of this newfound knowledge was slightly scary. What if I became over-exposed to everyone's scents in the arena? There were many Betas and Omegas this year, right? I didn't want to become violent, or force anything upon anyone - the very thought terrified me. I didn't intend to cause harm, despite my feuds with Lance.

And yet I was determined to fight to win for my father.

Shiro nodded. "You're having a sexual wellbeing and health test. It's to test if you're clean or not. Omegas and Betas will get contraception to prevent pregnancies."

I left after that, giving Shiro a nod of content. A test. Contraception. This whole mating thing was truly daunting - I was starting to feel as if I _had_ to find a mate. No wonder Lance was flirting with everyone, he was probably getting a head start. Was I going to be less desirable if I didn't have anyone to fight for? Likewise, would I have a better chance of living? With my head reeling and occupied with the 'test' I was going to receive, I headed upstairs to the roof to clear my mind. I didn't want my name to start flashing on the leaderboard screen.

As I passed it, I glanced at our scores. I tapped my name again, and each image had changed into either one from training, or when I was handcuffed. Something didn't sit right. The Capitol were making me look violent. When I tapped Lance's, he still had his charming smile, but the small animation of him laughing with a bloody nose was haunting. They were either showing us as strong, or as a threat. And I hated that I didn't know which.

Upon approaching the roof, I heard a distant hum, as if music was playing from the streets below. Curious, I walked further up, until the noise became more distinctive. It wasn't humming - someone was _singing_ \- and the music wasn't playing from anywhere. I assumed it was playing from the speaker in the banquet room, but the voice was so smooth, it was hard to distinguish if it was an actual person. Whatever it was, it was going to disturb my train of thought.

However, when I saw the source of the singing, I regretted the negativity. It was Lance, strolling across the length of the roof, wearing a blue skin-tight bodysuit, the same kind of design the training ones were. His thumb was gently caressing his pulse record, the neon blue glowing against his honey skin. I stayed there for a little while, listening to his voice. It was soothing, and almost lulled me to sleep, if I weren't so caught up in my own thoughts - although, hearing Lance's hidden talent made it all extinguish into nothingness. After a couple of minutes, I approached him quietly.

"Didn't know you could sing -"

 _"Fuck!_ Keith! What the fuck!" Lance yelped. "What do you want!"

"Nothing," I grinned. "It's a shame singing wasn't a training essential."

We both leaned against the railing, watching the busy streets, basking in the afternoon sun. Lance's cheeks were scarlet. I wanted to know where he got that talent from.

"Since when could you sing?" I asked. Lance went quiet.

"I never sang."

"I'm genuinely asking," I turned to him. "I'm not threatening you."

"I used to sing my younger siblings to sleep," he muttered. "It's comforting. I guess if I'm going to die, I'd better keep that little part of home with me, right? I'm sorry. I won't sing again."

Had I really been so violent to him, that he was afraid of my presence?

"Lance, are you scared of me?"

"A little," he muttered. "But you've been nice to me, which is a good sign, right?"

"You tell me," I replied.

"Why are you so fucking difficult?" Lance turned to me, his eyebrows furrowed. I couldn't help but think that his mood was much different today. He was on-edge. Antsy. It looked as if I needed to be a little softer.

"Look," I sighed. "Keep singing if it's comforting you. I'm not stopping you, Lance. You're a good guy; I don't want to fight with you."

Lance looked down, twiddling his fingers. "I'm sorry. I just miss home."

"Would you like a hug?" I asked. I couldn't believe it came out of my mouth. He shook his head.

After a couple of moments of brief silence on the balcony, we were called for our 'test,' and the anxiousness came back. Not only that, but Lance actually refused a hug, when he offered me one a while ago. Something had changed inside that boy over the past few days and it was affecting him. I just wished I wasn't so forward; I blamed that on being an Alpha. Or maybe I was just selfish.

I was led into a pristine, white room, much like the small clinic back at training, with a doctor sat in a chair. He held a clipboard and a pen. On his desk sat three serums, one red, one blue, and one green. They had the Alpha, Beta, and Omega symbols printed on each. I assumed I didn't need the blue or the green one. I wasn't comfortable with this at all. Were they going to _touch_ me? This wasn't going to be a physical exam, surely? My blood ran cold through my veins as my pulse escalated.

"Keith Kogane, District Twelve," the doctor muttered. I was lucky he was male. "Are you sexually active?"

_Whoa._

"I, er," I stammered, sitting on the bed. "No."

"Have you ever had a mate?"

I shook my head. He made it sound like I had such a boring life.

"Alright," the doctor murmured, placing his clipboard on the desk. "We're going to inject you with some pheromones suited to your secondary gender to help us understand your health."

Needles made my stomach churn after the scent blocker was stabbed into me at the beginning. Luckily, the doctor was gentle, and I barely felt a thing as it pushed into my arm. Suddenly, I knew what he meant by gender-specific pheromones. The swell in my gut made it obvious; it gave the same feeling as if I was around an Omega who currently had a heat, or it was some kind of aphrodisiac; the Omega pheromone serum made sense, however, Betas didn't get heats. Maybe that was an artificial aphrodisiac. I couldn't look at the doctor in the eye once I was aroused. Was Lance getting the same feeling?

_Why was Lance in my head?_

"We're going to need a swab of discharge, but since this is private, we're going to let you do that yourself," the doctor provided me with a small, plastic jar, and a long cotton-swab. The serum was definitely working. The swell under the tight suit almost hurt. Everyone else, I realised, was going through this. Even Lance. Maybe he was just as flustered, with his deep-red, flustered cheeks, his tousled brown hair, his longing eyes-

And then I was left in the room on my own.

"Get it together," I whispered, shaking my head free of dirty thoughts. His fingers were slender. What was he wearing during the chariot ceremony? Was he shirtless? I remembered everything. He looked kind of gorgeous when he was angry. What did the doctor say? A small sample, or a swab?

I bit my lip, a hot, flustered grin creeping upon my lips as I glared down, reaching behind me to unzip the bodysuit. It was stifling, and relief was all I could think about. I cupped my length shakily as I bit down on the fabric that hung loosely over my shoulders. I'd never been this tense. How strong was the serum? With trembling hands, I reached for the swap and squeezed my eyes shut. This was either going to be excruciatingly sensitive, or feel like nothing. I was begging for the latter.

One small flit of the cotton against the tip of my dick and an image of Lance's tongue flashed behind my eyelids. This was so unbearable and embarrassing. I wanted to keel over and die; but it wasn't like I could help myself. Once I'd placed the swab in the jar, I decided to take a chance. The suits were far too tight and revealing. I'd be found out instantly.

It didn't take barely more than a couple of strokes and I was shuddering and convulsing on the bed, my orgasm spilling onto my knuckles forcefully, and all that reeled through my head was that stupid District Four boy and his stupid honey skin, his stupid chocolate hair, his stupid wink, and his stupid flexibility. _Blue_. He looked so good in blue.  However, once I came down from my high, I immediately felt so much regret and shame.

I didn't understand why he was getting to my head. Shiro would kill me of he found out, which would never happen. Lance and I were more than rivals, perhaps. I couldn't dare to think of it. I was a flustered mess and it wasn't even my fault.

After cleaning up the mess with a tissue, I walked back to the doctor standing near the clinic door and passed him the sample. He took it and bid me goodbye.

"Your results should be delivered tomorrow morning. Have a good evening."

I sighed, walking out of the clinic. The other Tributes were there, waiting for their mentors, the air thick with tension. Everyone appeared drunk. Pidge was giggling to herself, a hazy, pink blush spread across her cheeks. Matt stood against the wall, looking more alert than his sister. Lance, however, shuffled from one foot to another. I couldn't go and talk to him. Not after all those thoughts I'd had in my head.

"Hey, mullet," Pidge cooed, delicately placing her hands on my chest. "I think you're so strong. And gorgeous. I like you."

I snorted. "Someone's obviously not come down from their high yet."

Matt came to my side, laughing. He seemed fine. I was just slightly shaky and a little out of breath.

"Stop flirting with everyone you lay eyes upon, Pidge," he detached her hands from my chest as she pouted, turning to me. "You had the aphrodisiac too, right?"

I nodded. "Is that why Pidge is like that?"

Pidge winked. "Like what?"

Matt glared at me. "Don't let her on you. She's stronger than you think."

"Why does Pidge sound drunk?" Lance asked, sauntering up to us, his hands visibly shaking. I shut up immediately.

I couldn't look at him in the same way again. I couldn't believe he was the first thing to appear in my mind once that serum was injected. For the first time, I grew speechless in front of District Four's Lance McClain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i recently reached 100+ kudos and im so happy, thank you all so much ♡♡


	16. Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else's name is lit up on the leaderboard.

That night, I bundled myself up in the sheets, sat up, hugging my knees close to my chest. I didn't know what to think. Shiro said not to make friends, not to find mates, but it was as if the Games were forcing the mate factor onto everyone. I was going to look like such a loner, but I had to do what my mentor told me to. My thoughts were conflicting one another; I didn't ask to be here in the first place. The Games put more stress on me, as well as the other Tributes. There were only a couple more ceremonies, but was I really looking forward to them? All I could focus on was the Games. The violence. The death.

I missed home. I didn't want to disappoint my father. I didn't want to leave him on his own. I had to maintain my strength and win for Twelve, for my District, for my struggling father. I just had to be weary if I was more likely to be eliminated, but what were the chances? Could I kill them before they got to me? 

I couldn't kill a  _person_. I killed animals for food, sure - I just couldn't take away a  _human_ life. I guessed I could be as inhumane as possible in the arena. The thought made me feel sick. 

My eyes grew weary. How long had I stayed awake? It was almost two in the morning, according to the leaderboard. All of the names were blanked out, except for mine, since I was awake. My eyes flitted to the other name lit up. Lance. What was  _he_ doing up this late? Despite him snapping at me for finding out his hidden talent, I was determined to get something out of him. He was concealing a lot of things lately.

Quietly, I walked across the banquet hall, past the pristine, crystal glasses, the silver cutlery, the white, embroidered tablecloth, until I made it to Lance's room. I peeked through the window, trying to see what was inside. He was stood by the window, the blue from the moonlight cascading over his chest and face. His forehead was solemnly leaning against the cold glass. I sighed. It was strange seeing him sad. Slowly, I grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. He didn't even notice that I'd come in.

"It's two in the morning," I whispered. "Something bothering you?"

"How did you know I was awake?" he asked, not even lifting his head.

"Your name was lit up on the leaderboard," I replied, walking over to him. Upon getting closer, I heard his little sniffs. His cheeks were tearstained. "What's wrong?"

"It's not like you'd care," he muttered. "All you've done is hit me."

Guilt hit my chest. I really wished he'd stop bringing it up. "I want to help."

Lance smirked, his eyes never leaving the city streets. "That's new."

He turned, and slid down the window, sitting with his arms hugging his legs to his chest. Seeing him like this hurt. Likewise, I hated seeing him  _physically_ hurt, despite me using my strength against him. It was such a stupid rivalry and I wanted to fix it. 

"What're you thinking about?" I whispered, sitting down. "Home?"

Lance nodded. I was never an affectionate sort. But I could make an exception.

Hesitantly, I opened my arms and widened my legs, letting him wrap his arms around me, his legs squeezing around me too. A lap-hug was comforting. My mother used to give them to me all the time, and I guess maybe that was why I didn't give hugs any more. Lance, however, was so gentle. He gratefully buried his nose into my shoulder, gripping my shirt as he sobbed silently.

"Let's be real with each other," I whispered, rubbing his back. "Forget our secondary genders, forget the Districts. Just you and me."

Lance nodded, sniffing.

"I know I've been a real jerk," I whispered. "But I want to help."

"I miss home," he hiccuped. "I miss my family. I'm so weak and worthless and I'm going to die."

"Who said you're worthless?" I whispered, threading my fingers through his hair. "You're stronger than many Tributes. You might as well be stronger than me."

"I don't really," he sniffed, "fit in? You have Pidge and Matt and I can't be independent. I'll die on my own."

There was a brief silence as he sobbed into my shoulder, his grip getting tighter. I didn't even know if I had Matt and Pidge.

"I'll die anyway," he cried. 

"The chance of you dying is the same as me," I whispered, remembering my Alpha fortune. "In fact, I'm sure you're more likely to live."

Lance sniffed, the blue in his eyes draining from his tears as he looked up. "You'll have allies. You're going to live."

"Who says?" I looked at him. "And hey, if you miss your family that much, we'll be your family."

Lance smiled a little bit, wiping his tears. "That'd be nice."

"But listen," I whispered, placing my hands on either side of his shoulders. His gaze was going to make me melt. "You're not worthless. Your family loves you at home very much, I'm sure. I bet so many people want to either be you, kiss you, or want you. Or all three. And I guarantee, Lance, you're more desirable than I am right now."

"I don't care," he wiped his tears, his cheeks slightly pink. "About mates and all. But you're the only person who seems to care and yet you gave me a nosebleed."

"The world works in weird ways, doesn't it?" I smiled. His blush deepened. It was the smile, wasn't it? I grew fond at the sight of Lance being bashful. "Anything else you're scared of?"

"Just dying," he sniffed. "I don't want my family to go through that much pain."

"I know how you feel," I muttered. "I only have my father at home."

"Then I guess we both have to live," Lance smiled sympathetically. "Thank you. I mean, for this. I didn't expect you of all people to come and see me. I didn't expect anyone at all."

I wanted to do more. Squeeze his hand. Give him a final hug. I just couldn't - Shiro told me that friends, mates, lovers, were bad news. And for the first time, I felt hurt. Lance deserved so much more and I couldn't give it. Did he even trust me after our quarrelling? It didn't seem likely. 

"Did you need anything else?" I asked, watching him get into bed. He lifted his knees to his chest again.

"Stay and sleep with me?"

I bit my lip. "I'll stay for a little while."

It hurt. Emotionally. And I had to deny every single feeling I had for him, knowing that in the arena, everyone had the same goal: kill, be killed, find a mate, maybe be happy. But I could die. I had a higher chance of dying than Lance. I even had confidence that he was stronger than me.

"Why can't you do the last bit?" he whispered.

"I can't, Lance," I whispered, sitting on his bed. He looked hurt.

"Do you already have somebody?"

I shook my head. "I promise. I just can't."

Lance brushed his hand through his hair, a long sigh coming from his nose. "You don't have to stay."

But I did. I was worried about him.

He curled up in the foetal position, his covers pulled up to his nose as he fell asleep. It was hard to believe that he put on such a confident mask to hide all of his insecurities. He was always laughing, smiling - and now he didn't even believe in himself. I wanted to meet his family, and tell Lance exactly what they thought about him. He seemed so gentle on the inside. 

I felt like crying. Lance looked so blissful as he basked in the gentle moonlight. Allying with him was going to be dangerous if I was going to develop feelings. _I wasn't._ I wasn't developing feelings. I couldn't be.

Eventually, when his name flickered out like a candle on the leaderboard, I left his room. My heart ached as I slipped back into bed, pulling the covers up to my nose. Shiro's word was final. He was my mentor and I had to listen. Even  _I_ didn't know what my thoughts were any more. 

I stared at my ceiling tiredly. Feelings were such hard work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they both need hugs :^(


	17. Sex Appeal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to be desirable was hard. Or maybe not.

"Keith, get a shower, your stylist is here in ten minutes."

"My stylist?!"

I was halfway through lunch after waking up late (I blamed that on going to see Lance at two in the morning), enjoying an array of seasoned crackers, cheeses, and the fresh orange juice they'd poured into our glasses. But now that Shiro mentioned a  _stylist_ , I was worried about what the hell kind of outfit I was going to be thrown in this time. Hunk was an excellent designer, however - I hadn't lost my trust in him yet. 

Lance on the other hand, almost choked on the garlic knot he was chewing on. "Why do we need an outfit today?"

"You're all going to be flaunting your physique to the other Tributes," Shiro explained. "Expect your designers to give you revealing clothing to enhance sex appeal."

It was my turn to choke on my food. Oh no. Was this the  _naked_ thing Hunk was talking about? If so, I wanted out. There was no way I was revealing everything. I had  _scars_ and unnatural-looking muscles, and in the end, I didn't  _want_ to seem desirable. I just wanted to get in the shirt I wore on the way here. I just hoped Hunk's idea wasn't blatant lingerie. Lance, however, giggled a little bit.

"Of course  _you_ don't have any insecurities doing that," I turned to him, smirking. "You're almost always naked."

"No, you're just so uptight," Lance chuckled, grabbing another handful of garlic knots. "I don't care what I wear. It's gonna be a blast."

Shiro laughed. "Keith, everyone has to do it. It's more about getting a mate this time. You know how male peacocks spread their feathers to attract a mate? It's like that."

Didn't Shiro say to forget about mates? "But you said -"

He shot me a warning glare. Apparently that was a secret between us. The giggles coming from the boy beside me were ecstatic. It was going to be so humiliating, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet. I guess I had to be ready.

"What are you giggling at?" I snorted, stealing a garlic knot from his plate.

"Hey! And nothing, it's just going to be funny seeing you in anything but bodysuits."

"We all wear bodysuits."

"Not my point."

After lunch, I stepped into the shower, thinking about what on earth was going to happen. Sex appeal. I could do sex appeal, I was an Alpha, but it wasn't as if I was good at it. Was it a kind of thing that just came naturally? Lance was oozing sex appeal and I had no idea what his secondary gender was. As the water ran down my back, I stared at the array of buttons beside me. Would a certain scent work? The only one that appealed to me was mint. Fuck it, I was going to have to make things up as it happened.

My heart still ached a little bit last night, but it wasn't as if I could dwell on it. I was in a dilemma, an impossible situation which could only go one way or another. Even if Lance and I were in love, what would become of us after the Games? We'd have to put on a fake show and never see one another again. He lived in Four, which was miles away from Twelve. Now it hurt to think. I shook my head, running my fingers through wet hair. I needed to focus on  _today_. I knew that I was flaunting, but  _how_ was I flaunting? I hoped it wasn't going to be a dance, or anything like that. I'd die from embarrassment.

As soon as I stepped out of the shower, I wrapped a blue towel around my body, meeting Hunk in my bedroom. It astounded me how the citizens of the Capitol had no regards for privacy. The Galra girl was also there, but this time with neon-blue lashes, accentuating her deep eyes. She was sort of intimidating, but she also had an expertise in what she did.

"Good afternoon," Hunk grinned, placing an outfit on my bed. I didn't even want to look. What kind of ridiculous thing was he going to put me in this time. "So this is your last ceremony, and probably the most important."

As the stylist dried and brushed my hair, Hunk explained what was going to happen, and nervousness made my stomach churn. I was just about getting used to smiling and becoming likeable for sponsors, and not for other people. My gaze held on that outfit in plastic. I was intrigued, but terrified. How revealing was it going to be?

"You're going to be walking down a catwalk platform, surrounded by your fellow Tributes, which will be standing on the floor," he explained. "There's also a Capitol audience, as usual, but you're not there for them. You're there for mates."

I bit my lip. "Will I be walking on my own?"

"No," Hunk laughed, taking out the clothing and placing it on my bed. It was still a crumpled mound of black. "You'll walk with the female of Twelve. The platform is around a few metres wide, so you'll be quite a distance between her."

Hunk then lifted the outfit so I could see. My mouth hung open. It was a black, skin-tight shirt, and leather pants. A pair of boots were clutched in his other hand.

There were no buttons on the shirt. The pants looked tight as hell.

"I'm not wearing that," I muttered. Hunk raised a brow as the Galra female laughed, picking up her makeup brushes.

_Oh no._

After getting my face attacked with powders and colours, and managing to fit my body into the tight outfit, I stared at my reflection in the mirror while Hunk tucked the shirt into the pants. Only the top part of my chest was exposed, revealing the muscle I had underneath. He then reached for my gloves and I pulled them on, slightly enjoying the little embers flying everywhere.

"Are you comfortable?" Hunk asked, giving me the boots.

"No," I replied, pulling them on. I gave the floor a sturdy kick with the heel and a couple of flames flickered to life. Fire, again. I raised an eyebrow at Hunk.

"It's just charm," he grinned. "Remember that Nyma might not get that privilege. Oh, and the party comes afterwards, so remember not to reveal all of your charm straight away."

I groaned. "Really? Hunk, I'm so tired."

He laughed, before taking the plastic covering away. "You'd better hurry, it starts soon. Shiro will be waiting for you."

With a pout, I watched him leave, shoving my hands into my pockets. Leather was horrible to wear, with the only exception being my gloves. I turned to my reflection again, glaring at the red on my eyelids, the glitter accentuating my cheekbones and my exposed chest, letting out a big, obnoxious sigh. Lance didn't need this much prep. He was basically a model anyway.

I needed something else other than mint soaking into my skin. I rifled around the closet, desperately looking for a scent as Shiro called my name. He was going to hit the hormone again if I wasn't quick. Thus, as soon as I pulled open the drawer in my nightstand, I found the cologne, and gave my neck a couple of quick sprays, before rushing out of my bedroom door.

"Coming!"

It was a lot like the interview, and I'd started to think they they'd reused the stage. However, with the large screens displaying our faces, our Districts, the Tributes gathering at the sides of the catwalk, and the roaring Capitol audience, I realised that it was going to be much more terrifying than the audience. The catwalk reached all the way from one side to the room, to the other, with an entrance and exit door. I walked with Nyma, who wore red feathers in her hair, black stilettos, and a red dress. My heart was a wreck with nerves.

We managed to find a small corridor leading to the Tribute area, and when we arrived, we were separated into male and female categories. With female on the right side, I stood around awkwardly, my arms folded as I stared up at the catwalk. To my fortune, I couldn't see Lance anywhere. There was a door at the beginning of the catwalk. I assumed that was for getting on, and there was one at the end to get off.

Everyone looked so different from one another, and I wasn't sure if I was going to be good enough. What if I fell off, or tripped? Just the thought made me queasy. A voice boomed over the speaker, and the audience roared. Each and every Tribute had their eyes glued to the catwalk as District One was called. One was peculiar. They walked without confidence, although the male was adoring the attention.

I could still smell the thick musk I'd applied to my neck. I hoped it wouldn't affect me  _that_ much.

As soon as Two was called, I found Lance stood in front of me, but it was hard to see what he was wearing due to the difficult lighting. The music was blaring in my ears, masking the yelling of the audience. I didn't even  _want_ to see what he was wearing.

Until District Four was called.

My mouth gaped. I stepped closer, trying to get a better look as they were showered in golden confetti. A blue veil attached to his fingers hung around his bare back, waving in the air as he acknowledged the audience. His legs were concealed by tight-fitting pants, with blue paint and body jewellery snaking up his spine. It wasn't until his eyes laid upon me that I had to close my mouth. It was lucky that I was hidden by the ominous darkness, but I still saw the wink that he gave me. Fuck. I had to do better.

Why was I even  _bothering_?

Four was halfway down the catwalk before District Five was called, and they rose up on a platform, their smiles shining as they waited for their cue. I was impressed by Pidge. Along with her white, flashing heels, the blue bra and shorts, her designer had fitted a gorgeous pair of wings to her back. Despite her messily-cut hair, they'd also styled it perfectly, and tucked in a few rhinestones here and there. Her legs were peppered with gems. A lace skirt floated from her waist. Matt looked just as surprising, but I was glad I didn't have his stylist. He'd opted for the bare chest.

They both held each other's hand high as they strutted, catching flowers and all kinds of weird gifts from the audience as they went. It was easy for Five to have such amazing clothing. They were power and electricity. It was obvious that they had eye-catching outfits. A couple of boys from Three and Two had their eyes stuck on Pidge, but I knew she'd never stoop so low. She was way too smart to find a mate in the arena.

I assumed that the Tributes walked all the way back to their original sides to watch the rest, because I saw Lance holding a bouquet of roses near the front of the catwalk, talking to Matt. I wanted to laugh. None of them had noticed me stood there, apart from Lance - but he had a birds' eye view. Matt's shoes glowed against the floor. All I had to do was swallow the nervousness and wait for my name to be called.

Everyone was dancing, which was only more anticipation for the party afterwards. With the musk in my neck, I felt slightly more confident about it all, and even getting on the catwalk wasn't a bad idea. Lance got his roses, which was a change from the chariots. 

I couldn't wait. It didn't seem so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> walk walk fashion baby


	18. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catwalk time. Altean alcohol is apparently gross.

Backstage, it was quiet, despite the loud audience cheering Eleven on. The hormone, or whatever the substance was in the cologne suppressed my anxiety, which impressed me. I was more than excited to walk the length of the catwalk as I waited for my District to be called. A couple of Alteans wearing headsets held their fingers to their right ear, listening for confirmation.

Then I was ushered into a dark room, where the platform was, I assumed, with the deafening music blasting in my ears. The screams of the audience were inaudible. My heart was pounding, but it was masked with the bass. All I could do was wait, and think of gestures to make myself look desirable. I was an _Alpha_. It wasn't that hard to flaunt - I was at the top of the chain when it came to dominance.

My District boomed over the speakers, and I rose to the catwalk, the music pounding in my ears as I was showered with glitter. For a second, I was blinded by the spotlights as I waited for my cue, watching Nyma wave out of the corner of my eye. The female side was _hysterical._ They cooed and whistled, waved to try and get my attention, but my eyes were flitting over the males. I heard Pidge wolf-whistle from the side, and gave her a little wave.

"Kill it, Keith!" she yelled, her wings glittering in the strobe lights. I laughed. This wasn't so bad after all.

Walking was a lot of fun as the entire room was yelling for our attention. At one point, I kept thinking about my stride, which almost caused me to trip. I had to get it together. All kinds of hands were brushing against my feet as the flames cascaded and danced around my ankles and calves. I wore a confident grin on my face as I waved, and it was lucky I looked down, because Lance was staring, with his mouth hung open, and his eyes almost _yearning_ for me to notice him. And I certainly did.

I gave a little spin as I crouched, high-fived a couple of the males, and reached out for Lance, giving his bottom lip a little tap. It was enough to make his cheeks flare, so when I stood up, I walked away with a wink. My heart pounded in elation. Shiro wasn't even here to yell at me, and the freedom meant that I could do whatever I wanted. I was fond of seeing Lance so flustered. I wore a shit-eating grin for the duration of the catwalk, catching roses, trinkets, and even underwear as I stepped down.

I didn't want to get off. It was so exhilarating that I wanted to do it again. I wanted to tease Lance again. I was oblivious to what his secondary gender was but I didn't care - I loved the way his cheeks went pink, and his face when he saw something he liked. For once, it was him getting shy, and not me.

The Tributes gathered around outside the catwalk building as paparazzi crowded us, their cameras flashing, their tone almost forceful as they got us to smile, to pose, to do their bidding. Lance even managed to grab his bouquet and get a couple of pictures. What a diva. I kept to myself,  looking over my shoulder, winking a little; maybe it was the musk that set off the flirt in me. Whatever, it was the party soon. Not all the charm could be released.

The party was set up outside the castle, where Alfor introduced himself, along with Zarkon, thanking us for our sacrifice. The Princess hung around for a short while, dressed in a golden gown, her hand delicately waving. None of them cared about our upcoming demise, it was purely entertainment to them. I wanted to sink my teeth into the food over by the banquet table. A large fountain sat in the middle, with the lighting changing colours, making it seem a little more magical.

"Please enjoy this night on behalf of the Capitol," Alfor grinned, raising his glass of the same blue liquid. "And please, drink responsibly."

That wasn't going to happen.

As soon as the music played, the Royals left the balcony and we headed inside to the great, colossal ballroom, pouring into the dance floor as if we were racing to get in there. Immediately, it was too dark to see, but I still managed to pick out Pidge's glistening wings from one side of the room as she picked up a glass of the fluid Alfor was drinking. A table was beside me, with the same stuff.

Was this alcohol, or something disgusting?

After swallowing a mouthful, and feeling the horrible taste sting the back of my throat, I realised that it was alcohol. Altean alcohol, which, I assumed, was stronger than regular alcohol, by the way it made me feel dizzy after drinking such a small amount. A hand landed on my backside, and a female voice purred into my hear.

"Twelve, it's you," Plaxum smiled, walking her fingers up my bare chest.  "Dance with me."

"Uh -"

I was dragged to the middle of the floor, my gaze everywhere but on her. Lance was dancing with Pidge, which I suddenly felt a small pang of jealousy for. Matt stood nearby, sipping from a glass of that disgusting alcohol, making a face when he noises the taste. Plaxum's hand touched my cheek, forcing me to look at her.

"I like you," she grinned, her hips rolling into mine. "And I think we'd be great together."

"Uh-huh," I raised a brow, keeping my feet moving. I tried to look at Lance again, but she moved my head. "Uh, yeah, maybe."

"Maybe?" Plaxum purred, licking her lips. "I don't take maybe for an answer."

She was going to kiss me. I could tell by her pucker. My heart raced as my eyes darted from one side to the other, trying to find an escape, until someone grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

I took a sigh of relief. It was Pidge.

"Hey, Kogane," she grinned. Her dance was more sensual, but she still kept her hands on my shoulders. I trusted her enough, and put my hands upon her waist. "I'm kind of a little drunk, but I'm not dancing with you because I like you."

"I can see that," I laughed, twirling her by a finger.

"Plaxum is a bitch," she muttered, shaking her head, resting her hands on my chest. "You don't want to see her in the arena."

"I know that," I hiccuped, scanning the room for Lance. He was talking to a different girl this time. Was he flirting again?! Seriously, I thought we'd had a bonding moment!

Pidge turned around, making it seem as if she was grinding her backside against me. I still cupped her waist. She was excellent at being sneaky. "I saw you gave Lance a little tease."

"You saw that?" I laughed, our footwork matching. I'd never danced before, but it appeared as if I was good at it. Either that, or it was alcohol making me think like that. "I saw him dancing with you just now."

"He's dancing with everyone," she chuckled, turning and brushing her hands against my chest. "My brothers waving to me, I'll see you later."

I gave her a brief hug before someone else laid their hands on the small of my back, dancing into me. I hated not being able to see. It was as if I was being blindly transported across the dance floor, with the music deafening me. My head span as this new person cupped my waist. I was way out of it. The alcohol was too good, after a couple of sips I'd grown to like the taste.

After that, I couldn't think straight, and I didn't want to. I turned around to see who I was dancing with, and it was Lance. Fucking _Lance_. I was drunk, but I still managed to feel irked that he had the nerve to dance with me. His eyes were so longing, too.

"No way," I muttered, stepping away to get more alcohol. To my dismay, however, he pulled me back, his lips just about touching the shell of my ear.

"Oh, no you don't," he whispered, his hands feeling the exposed region of my chest. I shivered greatly. "Dance with me, Kogane."

With a tone like that, and a drunken mind, I couldn't resist. His hands were so warm as they cupped my hips, our thighs trapped between each other's legs as we teased one another. Secondary genders weren't a thing any more. All that mattered was that Lance was sexy in the colour blue, and he'd danced with me the longest, with our hands all over each other. His fingers gave my rump a couple of generous squeezes, setting my mind on fire. All we had was the rhythm of the music and the lustful gaze in our eyes as we moved; I decided to do what Pidge did to me, and let Lance run his hands all over my body. His lips brushed against my neck, whispering incoherently, driving me wild.

I was having way too much fun, and even saw Pidge grinning at me out of the corner of my eye. I turned again, my lips almost touching his as I looped my arms around his neck, my thigh finding his crotch again. He gave me a wicked look. A naughty grin spread across his face. Just the look in his eyes turned me on.

"You really are trying, aren't you?" he muttered. I was so close to kissing him, but a small voice in the back of my head was telling me not to. I didn't know why, either.

"You're a tease, McClain," I whispered, feeling his nose bury itself in my neck, the same area where I'd put the cologne. "I like that."

"What are you wearing?" he purred, nudging my neck. "You smell amazing."

Lance lifted his head, thumbing my bottom lip. "Let's go back."

My boots flared with angry flames as we sprinted as fast as we could out of there, past the yelling Galra guards as we yelled at the top of our lungs into the night. Upon turning a corner, we realised that we were further away than we thought. And I really, really wanted to get back to the Tribute hotel.

"Horses!" Lance pointed, racing over to a pair of white horses with silver saddles, reins and halters. I gasped, climbing onto the one nearest to me. This was the wildest thing I'd ever done. We'd get shot.

Lance laughed as we galloped down the street, watching everyone glare at us as we drunkenly rode horses back to our accommodation. It was such a thrill. The cold, night air breezed through my hair. Lance reached out a hand and I held it as we cantered, our gaze meeting each other's, our minds occupied by one thing. He looked gorgeous riding the horse, and I was sure that would be a sober thought, too.

The horses were left outside the tall building as we dashed inside, taking the stairs and not the elevator. By the time we made it to the room, I had so many arguments going on in my head, I couldn't think straight, and all I wanted to do was kiss him, take off his clothes, bite him -

We wrestled on his bed, gripping at each other's clothes as our giggles hung in the air. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he held me close, his excited pants ricocheting near my ear as he straddled me, the blue veil still hanging from his fingers.

"C'mon," he whispered, burying his nose in my neck to find my scent. My mind reeled as the arousal in my painfully-tight leather pants was so obvious, it almost touched Lance's thigh. "Fuck, you smell so good."

I peeled away the veil from his fingers as he placed gentle kisses on the area where my gland was. My heart was pounding. His lips were so soft, so tender, so _needy._ I wanted to kiss him back. Was I allowed? The voice in the back of my head was yelling. I ignored it as soon as Lance started peeling away my shirt.

"Fuck me," he whispered, his warm fingers trembling against my chest. "Please Keith, I want you."

I laughed lowly. "I can't, darling, we're drunk."

Lance whined. At least I was still smart enough to remember that we had to keep something a secret, despite being drunk.

"You're so needy," I whispered, caressing his cheek, brushing his bottom lip with my thumb. I yearned to kiss him. I didn't care if I was drunk or not. There was shouting outside the building, from when we stole the horses. Lance grinned.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered. I didn't know what to say to that one, however, the voice was only getting louder in my head. It was like a gut feeling.

"Again," I grinned, as we both shimmied under his covers, "we're drunk."

"You let me kiss your neck," he whispered, rubbing his palm against my chest. "Why not your lips?"

"For reasons I can't explain," I replied, closing the gap between us, feeling his lips against my jaw. I shuddered again. He set my mind alight. " _Lance_..."

I was lost in the sapphire blue in his eyes as our noses touched. I wanted to. I needed to. Our chests were warm and bare, and I felt closer than ever to him, the only thing on my mind was his lips. And I wanted them everywhere.

"What else can you ride other than horses?" he whispered, thumbing my bottom lip.

"That's for me to know, and you to find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))))


	19. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro gives Keith a couple of devastating new rules.

The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache, so I didn't even make an attempt to open my eyes. The Altean alcohol, I discovered, wasn't just strong, but now that I'd felt the aftershock of it all, I regretted drinking it. However, I didn't feel sick, and I thought I had enough energy to start the day - I was just experiencing a terrible headache. And that was from dehydration. I shimmied back into my covers and turned to my right. It was so warm. Comfort was a priority, and something I'd never take for granted.

And then something else shifted under the covers.

Slowly, I opened my eyes to see Lance staring at me, his mouth completely agape. We yelped and backed away from one another, simultaneously holding our heads as they pounded. I'd slept with Lance. Shiro was going to kill me. What'd he say?  _What'd he fucking say?_ No mates! Just allies! I felt like an idiot and now Lance was staring at me as if I'd appeared out of thin air.

"Oh shit," I whispered. I had no recollection of last night. "Did we, did we fuck?"

I was shirtless. I still had leather pants on and they were so uncomfortable to sleep in. Lance shook his head slowly.

"N-no, I'm sure, we have to keep our secondary genders a secret," he breathed, running a hand through his hair. I had to get out of there before Shiro saw. I couldn't be with Lance; I wasn't supposed to fall in love, I was supposed to focus. And I couldn't fall in love, anyway - if he died, or if I died, I'd go through the same type of heartbreak. Knowing bond bites exist, that was going to be excruciatingly painful.

I just didn't want to hurt Lance getting out of there. He propped himself up by his elbows and looked at me, a small smile widening his lips.

"Stay?" he asked, patting the side of the bed I slept on. "Please?"

_Yes. Please._

"I-I- "

Lance's face fell. "What excuse is it this time?!"

_My mentor is strict on mate rules and won't let me fall in love, or gain friends, because he doesn't want me to experience what he went through, and he'd kill me if he saw me with you, and even though I slept in your bed I still don't know how to feel, or even if I like you, because you're flirting with everyone and I don't know whether to believe you when you get soft around me._

"I have to go," I muttered, grabbing my shirt and boots. I was in so much denial about him and I didn't even want to be around him any more, even though I knew full well that I saw galaxies in his eyes, and he probably thought that I was a sleazy, lousy douchebag, that only cared about myself, that only spoke when spoken to, and kept to the rules when it meant that my feelings were in danger.

When I made it to my bedroom, I threw myself onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling my tearducts sting. It wasn't fair any more. I didn't know what to feel because of the Games, and it wasn't as if I could drop out and stop it from happening. I was terrified of becoming too absorbed with myself and leaving Lance on his own. Or if worst comes to worst and one of us are killed in the arena. I just had to let him go. I had to stop catching feelings for him.

It was ridiculous. Impossible. But the Games were so, so soon - in a few days, in fact - that these were our final days of being civil to one another. Lance could turn out to be a cold-blooded killer. How could I trust him? What if he turned on me, and was using his manipulation to _make me like him?_

After that, I let myself cry. I could hear the cooks organising breakfast in the banquet area, and the sweet smell of pastries wafted up my nose, but it did nothing to ease emotional pain. I just hoped Shiro wasn't around to see the leaderboards, because I'm sure my pulse was racing last night. Then it all came back - the dancing, the outfits, the horses - even  _Lance_ wanted to kiss me.

No. Surely not. That was alcohol-induced lust.

I decided to wash the smeared makeup off my face before heading to breakfast. I changed into something a little more appropriate and walked out, just waiting for Shiro to pounce on me. I didn't even want to be in his line of sight. It was going to be so painful. I pulled up a chair, gratefully gazing over the food, before someone stepped behind me.

"Keith," Shiro muttered. I froze - all I wanted to do was eat because my dehydration was killing me. "A word."

As soon as Lance appeared, I was already walking into Shiro's room, guiltily hanging my head in shame. I'd hurt Lance. I'd hurt myself. Now Shiro was going to chew me out because of it, and now I'd stirred up even more drama because I decided to have alcohol and catch feelings. Shiro stood, looking menacing, with his arms folded, and his dark eyes glaring at me.

"I heard that a boy from Twelve and a boy from Four stole the guard's horses last night," he muttered, pacing the room. "Not only that, but they were stood outside the Tribute hotel, before the party ended."

I swallowed hard. He was going to find out so much.

"What were you two doing, leaving so soon?" he asked, towering over me. 

"N-nothing, I- "

"Are you going to stand there and lie?" he murmured. "I'm a mentor. I get alerted whenever your heart is beating abnormally fast so I know when you're in danger. 

"I'm going to ask you again," Shiro narrowed his eyes. "What were you doing with District Four?"

"Nothing!" I lied, but the pulse record was beeping too loud. "I-I mean -"

"What did I say, Keith?" he snapped. "You don't make friends! Friends do  _not_ matter!  _Mates_ don't matter! You're in there to win, understand!?"

He then grabbed my collar and shoved me against the wall, almost knocking the air out of my lungs. "I-I'm sorry, Shiro-  _please_ , we'd all had alcohol, something was bound to happen, I-I -"

"If I catch you near Four again," he yelled, "I assure you, there will be consequences. You are  _not_ to go anywhere near that boy until the Games! Do I make myself clear!!"

"Yes!" I breathed, choking on tears. "I'm sorry!"

He released me and my feet hit the floor. I wasn't allowed near Lance at all. How was I going to explain the sudden silence; he was going to think I was ignoring him. Did it even matter if he was possibly manipulating me to earn my trust? I wanted to talk to someone. Anyone. And it wasn't going to be Shiro. He left the room with trembling hands, and I had to clear myself up before breakfast.

I ate in silence, but the deafening hush coming from Lance made me more unsettled. It wasn't right. None of the other mentors gave their Tributes that kind of advice. I was sure that many of them supported the mate idea, which I was slightly angry about.

"You all have three days left until the Games," Shiro announced, swirling his glass of water. "Which means that you'll all be petrified, searching for those to ally with, but most importantly, finding mates."

He was contradicting himself again. Once I'd had my fill of the food, I sat back in my chair and listened to him.

"This is an opportunity to enjoy your final days, of being alive, most probably," he chuckled. "Look around. You might be surrounded by people who are going to end up dead soon..."

As the conversation went on, I decided to head to the elevator again, to find someone else that I trusted. I just had to get away from it all, after Shiro warned me about Lance. If he was going to use the hormone against me again, I couldn't take the risk. Lance's gaze fell on me as the elevator door closed. I pressed for the floor below me, which I assumed was District Five's, and two other Districts.

Upon the doors sliding open, I quietly peered around the corner to see the banquet table - the floor had the same open-plan layout as ours. The cooks and cleaners were tidying away the finished plates and dirty cutlery. Three people sat at the table. Two had the number seven printed on their shoulders, and the other person I assumed was a mentor. I started to think I wasn't on the right floor.

Suddenly, Pidge appeared, walking with her brother, her electronic heels clicking against the floor, and a bodysuit clinging to her body. Maybe she was so fond of the shoes that she had to wear them again. They both stood in front of the leaderboard, tapping their names and gloating at one another. As soon as the people sat at the table left, I strolled quickly across the room to the leaderboard screen, just in time: they were on my profile.

"Keith's quite a cunning one," Matt muttered, tapping his chin. "I assume he'd make a great ally."

"I like him," Pidge nodded. "He'd be a-  _Keith!"_

She turned around and gave my waist a squeeze, and I almost grinned out of pure happiness, but a blush replaced the tearstains on my cheeks instead. Matt turned around with a hearty laugh, trying to detach his sister off me. I hugged her right back, giving her tousled hair a little ruffle.

"What are you doing on our floor?" she smiled, pushing her spectacles upwards. "Are you discussing allies too?"

"I wish," I sighed. As much as I didn't want to talk about it in detail, I had to get it off my chest. "I need to talk about something."

Pidge's smile fell, and she comfortingly squeezed my hands. "What's wrong?"

They led me into Pidge's room, and as soon as I sat down between them on the bed, I almost burst into tears.

I told them everything. My conflicted feelings for Lance, the assumption that he was being manipulative to earn trust, Shiro and the hormone, how I was forbidden to go near Lance, and the party situation from the night before. Matt listened intently, and so did his sister. I felt trust between them. I knew they could be possible allies from the start. Before I could burst into tears, Pidge gently placed a reassuring hand on my thigh.

"I think all you can do for now is listen to your mentor," she explained, keeping firm eye contact. Matt smiled sympathetically. "And most of all, save the stress for the Games. Your mentor won't be there to tell you what to do."

"What Katie is saying," Matt continued, "is that you can listen to your heart when you're in the arena. Sure, death is imminent, and you're bound to get hurt one way or another. But all you can do is wait. Don't try and pounce on Lance just yet. Like you said, he may not be what he seems."

"Yeah," I nodded, picking at my leather gloves. "You guys aren't looking for mates, right?"

They both shook their heads. "Unless we're forced to," Pidge shrugged. "But I'd doubt it's a 'mate or be killed' kind of thing."

"It would be easier if we all knew what our secondary genders were," Matt sighed, pushing up his glasses. "I'm sure I'll treat you with the same respect in the arena."

"We were discussing allies," Pidge smiled. "We'd like you and Lance on our team. Unless we can't find one another, we'd like to make a deal.

"We'll provide you with food and shelter when available, and vice-versa. On the condition that you don't cause harm to any of us."

"I don't think I'd cause harm anyway," I laughed, shaking both of their hands. "Good luck, you two. You've got proud parents to go back to."

I felt so much better. Maybe I could hang around for a little while; I was keeping my distance from Lance, right?

The siblings laughed, and Pidge gave me another big hug. "Good luck to you too, Kogane."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i reintroduce bonus chapters? i might when the games begin!
> 
> for now all i can think of is telling pidge and matt's story, or lance's story; idk.
> 
> thank you all so much for 2k hits! <3


	20. Plea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith realises he fucked up.

That night, I hung around on the roof, leaning over the railing, relishing in the cold twilight air. I was nervous. The Games were going to be tomorrow and I didn't know what to think. Pidge and Matt said they'd ally, but at what cost? I already didn't trust Lance. God, I hadn't talked to him in a day, and I was already missing his laugh. I just had to move on and forget about him; soon enough, when I'm in the Games, I'd be able to go my own way. By then, I'd have Shiro's mindset to follow, and not my heart. But right now, I didn't know whether to break Shiro's rule or stay put. Matt and Pidge stood beside me, muttering nonsense about home, while I thought about my father, the mating factor, and whether I was actually going to see Lance again.

Could I do it? Did I actually have what it took to kill? If I did, then I was scared of myself. I didn't want the scent blocker to diminish and all of my tendencies act as if I'd been reborn, as if they were new, as if they could affect me in a way that I'd be violent. For the sake of my life, and the sake of Lance's, I thought about hiding for the rest of the time. What was the introduction like, anyway? I hoped Shiro would explain a few things first. I was scared.

I heard footsteps shuffle behind me, and I really, really hoped that it wasn't Lance. I couldn't bear to face him after not talking to him. I couldn't stand him being upset.

"If it isn't Lance," Pidge smiled, walking away to talk to him. I tried not to eavesdrop in their conversation, but I kept hearing my name.

"...go and see Keith?"

"He won't talk to me."

Silence. I bit my lip nervously.

A hand brushed my shoulder, and Pidge turned so I looked at her. Lance went to the other side and talked with Matt instead. The disappointment upon Pidge's face was unbearable; it wasn't even my fault.

"Please go and talk to Lance," she whispered, the lights of the city reflecting off her lenses. "I know what Shiro said, but he's not here right now."

"I can't take that risk," I replied, my heart filling with emotional pain. "He promised I'd face consequences, Katie, and he keeps his word."

Pidge sighed. "Then at least remember to wish him luck, Keith. It might be the last time you see him."

 _It might be the last time you see him_.

"I wish I could," I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. "But what if he's manipulating me, since he's been flirting with everyone else? He might turn against me."

"Don't be so fucking arrogant," she frowned. Being almost eye-level with her was sort of terrifying. "How can you be so selfish? If he's manipulating  _you?_ Then we all might as well be manipulated!"

I rested my chin on my arms as I leaned against the balcony rail again. I almost wished this would have never happened. I wanted to go home and be comfortable again. I didn't care if I was slightly poor, and my house was lonely, and every day I'd wake up to the smell of burning coal. It would take me away from the feelings I'd gained in the Capitol, as well as the pain and the stress.

"Didn't you tell me that he asked you if he could kiss you?" Pidge whispered.

"He was drunk," I murmured. "We both were. It doesn't mean anything."

"If you're going to be like this in the arena, you're going to be stressful to have as an ally."

"Then don't ally with me."

Pidge frowned. "You don't mean that."

"Hey, man," Lance whispered. _Oh no. Please not here_. I didn't even dare to make eye contact with him. "Why aren't you talking to me?"

I kept staring at the city streets. I wanted to tell him. I really did. Pidge gazed at me desperately.

"Please, _please_ answer him," she whispered. "You can't do this to him, Keith. Please."

It wasn't my fault. I was going to make things worse if I stayed there.

"No answer, huh," Lance muttered. "Okay."

The stinging in my tearducts threatened me, and Pidge's gaze was glistening as her eyes welled up. Matt beckoned her away and led her back down.  _Don't leave me alone_.

"If I've done something..." Lance fidgeted, staring down at the streets. "I'm sorry."

I walked away after that. I couldn't keep standing there listening to him because I knew I'd fall for him again, and his stupid, smooth voice that always made my heart sing when I heard it; even when he was upset he was gorgeous, and I couldn't risk being close to him because we could both  _die._ I'd never thought it was going to be this hard to move on. I didn't even look back when I went down.

Upon arriving at my bedroom, I was a mess. A sobbing mess, for the third time, all because of Shiro's stupid rules, which all condensed down to the fact that we all had pointless secondary genders, that we all had to find a mate, that we all had to get along at some point. I didn't want my father seeing me being violent, either. He knew I was considerate on the inside, but of course, it wasn't like the Capitol was going to portray me like that. As soon as my secondary gender is revealed, they're going to focus on my physical attributes, and not my emotional ones.

Likewise, if I did kill, I was going to feel remorse. I could be killing someone else's mate and that didn't sit right with me. Sure, I was great at handling knives, but at what cost? I was just too much of a pussy to use them on a real person. I just wanted to go home. I put my head in my hands and wiped my wet cheeks. I was the complete opposite of a strong Alpha. I couldn't be daring, I couldn't be what everyone else thought I was. I didn't deserve the result I got from the Gamemakers.

After a couple of minutes, I was in bed staring at the ceiling.  _I_ was the one fucking with Lance's emotions. Of all people, it had to be me and him. Maybe he'd have to learn tough love too, and go his separate ways, but knowing that made my eyes well up again. Why did I have to fuck up so much? I didn't even know if our secondary genders were compatible and I felt like an idiot. I kept denying my feelings for him, and I'd keep doing it, until I didn't feel them any more.

But they'd always come kicking back, stronger than ever.

* * *

 

 _"No!"_ I screamed, bolting upright, sweat pouring down my forehead as the pulse record in my wrist bleeped like a frantic, terrified siren, flashing a bright red. My name also lit up on the screen, and the last person who I'd want to see was Shiro. It was that nightmare again. The one about my mom. The fire. The forest. The fact that I was probably never going to see my father again, and he'd have to live on his own for the rest of his life. My chest heaved as my hands clutched the sheets, bringing them up to my knees so I could hug them against my chest.

Someone came running outside my door, and opened it quickly. Shiro.

"Nightmare?" he asked. I nodded. "Alright. Get some sleep."

And that was it.

Not long after, someone else walked up to my door and pushed it open just a crack as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. My pulse was calming down, but I was sure I saw it race back up again when I saw Lance at the end of my bed.

"You can't be here," I whispered. "You have to go."

I had tears streaming down my cheeks, and despite telling him to leave over and over, he crawled onto my bed and sat with me, the soft look in his eyes never faltering.  _Just go back to bed._

"I heard you scream," he muttered. I shimmied back under the covers as I sniffed. "Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

"Lance," I sobbed, choking on air. "Please just leave -"

"I'm not going to," he whispered, caressing my cheek. I felt myself give in. His fucking ways of making him fall for him only made it hurt more. "Sh, shh, it's okay."

I gazed up at him, feeling the gentle stroke of his thumb against my wet cheeks. After not interacting with him, he still had the guts to come and see me, and do something as compassionate as this. I hated him for it. He shouldn't be in my bedroom, and as much as I still yearned for him, it hurt to see him. I wanted him to go.

"I'm scared too," he whispered, a gentle smile spreading over his lips. "Remember we have a lot of people rooting for us."

I was paranoid about Shiro coming to the room again.

"You're going to be okay -"

"Lance, please," I whispered. "You really shouldn't be here."

"I don't care."

I was silent after that. After all,  _he_ wasn't the one getting in trouble, I was, and knowing he was this stubborn made it worse. It was my fault that he was so torn. He must be trying to apologise in case he'd done something wrong. I closed my eyes and he began singing to me.

My heart shattered. Every little word was so meaningful and hushed that I almost told him what Shiro told me. But no - I was a coward. A selfish coward. My whimpers ceased as his caresses got softer. And as he finished the song, he lulled me to sleep, faster than anyone else could have.

What have I done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i quickly and shittily sketched pidges outfit thingies so you can see them [here](https://pixelpearl.tumblr.com/post/164302176248/some-quick-and-rushed-pidge-outfit-concepts-from).


	21. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hunger Games.

I relied on Shiro more than anything else with preparation. He taught me that mates weren't important, and I realised that being alive was probably more valuable than failing to find someone. I didn't dare to face Lance when he approached me this morning, even though the feelings that burned inside me flamed at my heart; last night was stepping over a boundary. If Shiro caught us then, I would have been dead. As much as it hurt to give Lance the tough love treatment, I had to listen to Shiro.

"You can't step off the plate before the countdown reaches zero," he explained, folding his arms. "They'll blow you sky high. In the middle is a cornucopia, full of weapons, backpacks containing first aid supplies, and even food.

"It's your choice whether you want to run for it," Shiro continued. "But it'll be a bloodbath when you do."

The bodysuit this time was made of lycra, as if it were a swimsuit, but also a strange breathable fabric that didn't make me feel too suffocated. I was dressed in grey, black, and deep reds, with Nyma wearing the same. Apparently, each District had a certain colour representing it so it was easy to distinguish who came from where. I still wore my leather gloves.

"Look out for sponsors and be aware of parachutes," Shiro sighed. "They may not be what they seem. Always be on the lookout. Zarkon has his hand on a kill switch and can activate anything from killer wasps to forest fires."

"Forest fires?" Nyma shuddered. "They can't be that evil, can they?"

"Like I said, be aware, be wary," he patted us both on the shoulder. "Your pulse records will remain on your wrists. The volume of the beeping will significantly decrease to prevent another Tribute from finding you. As soon as the countdown reaches zero, the scent blockers will be deactivated, and all of your secondary urges will appear, as well as everyone's scent.

"So, Keith," Shiro muttered. "If you think you're violent now, wait until you're in the arena."

I swallowed hard. I had to get away from Lance, and Matt and Pidge too, if I wanted to spare their lives. If my scent had been suppressed for so long, how strong were my urges going to be?

"Good luck," he sighed. "Now, come on. The hovercraft is waiting."

The Tributes poured out of the building, silent with nerves, as each and every District made their way to the boarding station. Lance walked directly in front of me, but I knew Shiro was watching from the entrance, so it wasn't as if I could wish him luck. The boarding station wasn't far from the Tribute hotel, which was efficient, because nobody ever used that building unless there was a Hunger Games. The hovercraft was large, and surprisingly rather silent.

Lance's bodysuit had the same tones of grey and black, but his colour was a deep blue. Out of the corner of my eye, Pidge and her brother stuck close to each other, wearing a dark shade of green. My heart was in my mouth; I didn't know what to expect other than death, heartbreak, and the reveal of everyone's secondary genders. 

My father could see me die today. Knowing that, I almost stopped in my tracks, causing Nyma to shove herself into me.

"Kogane!" she hissed. "Come on!"

I glared at her, and quickened my pace so I reached the hovercraft first, and sat in my designated seat. I was so determined to win, for my father, and for myself. I didn't know what the arena was going to be like, nor the array of weapons in the middle of the cornucopia. Nervousness made my heart hammer against my chest as I was strapped in. There were two rows, both opposite one another, carrying twelve Tributes each. The aircraft was silent. Eerily silent, despite the deafening noise of the energy rattling through the walls.

Lance stared at me from the other side, his eyes harrowing and solemn. He looked disappointed in me; I was only listening to Shiro. When I laid my eyes on him, however, he shook his head in dismay. I really had gotten to him and I couldn't apologise. It was all too late, now. Maybe he _was_ going to kill me.

An Altean woman dressed in a white suit, similar to the Peacekeepers, boarded the hovercraft while it took off. She carried a painfully large syringe and began injecting each District with something unnatural - it didn't seem as if it held a serum. Instead, when I saw Lance flinch, something within his wrist flashed. On his other arm, his pulse record was flashing red. He must be terrified. I gave him a look of sympathy. It still felt as if Shiro was watching my every move, and I'd gotten so used to feeling his presence, that staying away from Lance was an instinct. I was just listening to my own selfish fears.

I flinched as the needle entered my arm. "What's that?" I asked, watching something flash under my skin.

"Your tracker," the woman replied.

Matt and Pidge held hands, staring at each other with fear in their eyes. They had parents to go home to if either of them passed away. I didn't want to be in their place at all.

"Good luck," Matt mouthed. "I love you."

I looked away after that, I'd never had siblings, and just watching Matt say 'good luck' to his little sister hurt my heart. With the sliver of hope still holding in my heart, I tried to be a little compassionate and search for Lance's gaze. When he turned, I shot him a little smile. Shiro wasn't here. I could do whatever I liked. Lance bit his lip.

After we were transported all the way to the arena, we got out of the hovercraft and immediately walked into a terminal. There, we were separated into different rooms, but before that, I watched Pidge hug her big brother for possibly the last time. Their plates were next to each other, and so after a brief goodbye, they walked into their rooms. Lance had disappeared down a corridor. Hesitantly, I opened the door to a blindingly white room with a glass cylinder. The person standing there, however, surprised me.

"Hunk?" I breathed, closing the door behind me. "What are you doing?"

"Wishing you luck," he smiled, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Altea is watching; put on a show. Remember to not only impress mates, but impress allies."

_"Thirty seconds until launch."_

I didn't know what to say. Panic seared through my veins as i faced the glass cylinder and stepped inside, glaring at Hunk. I was scared. So, so scared - and now everyone's identity, including mine, was going to be revealed. I didn't want violent strength, and I didn't want a mate. Was it dangerous to ally? Why was I thinking about this  _now?_

My breathing grew ragged as I held onto the side of the cylinder with clammy palms.

"Whoa," Hunk rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. "It's alright, everyone's scared. Just be wary, alright?

And then the cylinder slid shut.

I glared at Hunk through the slim glass, almost jumping in fright as the plate below my feet rose. I couldn't stop the panic, nor the hammering of my heart against my chest. I clenched my fists and took a few deep breaths, looking upwards, feeling the strain in my eyes as I looked at the bright light. When the plate halted, I observed my surroundings. In front of us was the cornucopia placed in the middle of a large stretch of grass. However, behind us, was a large, circular body of water that stretched out towards the surrounding forest. Stone bridges were placed intermittently in the water to reach the land, separating it into segments. There were five segments.

Each Tribute was whipping their head around, discovering their surroundings. The calm waves behind me contradicted the fear in my heart. In the cornucopia, my gaze fell upon a set of knives within a holster, as well as a sword. If I was fast enough, I could grab a few, run back, and swim towards the forest. A holographic countdown appeared in the middle, beginning at ten. 

I felt sick.

 _"Nine._ "

Pidge tucked her glasses underneath the chest of her suit. Matt did the same.

 _"Eight._ "

A small sob came from beside me. District One's female was a mess.

_"Seven."_

Not only were there knives, but everyone had their eyes on water, backpacks full of supplies, and a bow and arrow, that I was confident that Pidge was going to snatch.

_"Six."_

If I fell backwards now, not only would I be blown to pieces, but I'd fall helplessly into the water. Luckily I had a stretch of grass in front of me.

_"Five."_

I felt a twinge of pain in my neck, and suddenly, everyone froze in place. Scents, some stronger than others, were released into the air as the blocker was deactivated. Pidge frighteningly held her hand up to her neck. A boy from Seven was staring at her.

_"Four."_

Being an Alpha was going to be difficult, and now that everyone knew exactly what I was, I started to wonder how much time I had left before I got eliminated.

 _"Three._ "

Lance looked around nervously, until his eyes laid on Matt, who glared right back. They both had their eyes on the backpack in the middle, that carried a first aid kit, hanging off the side.

_"Two."_

My father was watching this. Shiro was watching this. The entire area of Altea was watching this. From what I could see, everyone's pulse record was flashing an angry red. I almost laughed.

_"One."_

A cannon sounded, and we all sprinted towards the centre of the stretch of grass with my eyes focused on the knives I'd wanted. Pidge arrived first and quickly grabbed her bow and arrow before disappearing just as fast, shooting a girl from Two in the back. My shock almost held me up - stalling wasn't an option. I needed those knives to stay alive. Her brother had grabbed a backpack and dashed off towards the water, and swam to the land beyond.

I clutched the knives and the belt carrying them as quickly as I could, taking in the scent of another Alpha who was just as eager. A tanned hand reached for a backpack in front of me and I looked up to see Lance, before he raced into the water and dived in. Once I'd had my fill, I did the same, and leaped into the cold stretch of water. I didn't trust the stone bridges, and I didn't know why; Zarkon had a kill switch, didn't he? Everything was a blur as I used all my strength to swim to the other side.

Once I made it, I ran into the depths of the trees, realising that it wasn't just any forest - it was a cross between a jungle and temple ruins, which I wasn't excited for. Heat clung to my skin as I sprinted, the crunching of the leaves beneath my feet serving as a telltale sign that I was there. Eventually, as I ran out of breath, I relaxed against a tree and listened. I kept quiet, looking around to see if anyone else had the same plan.

Two cannons were fired to signal the deaths of two Tributes as I swept away the sweat on my forehead, my other arm covering the gland in my neck. Getting a mate was going to be difficult for those who wanted one. It was a good job that Shiro talked me out of it.

Now, I was stood in the middle of a hot rainforest, wondering where the hell Matt and Pidge went, if they wanted to ally so bad. I stank of seawater, sweat, and my own scent. The heat made it easy to distinguish who was who. I waited for my pulse to decrease as I wondered what to do next. I was surrounded by greenery and the sounds of tropical birds in the trees. At least I hadn't lost at the cornucopia.

I looked down at the knives I'd snatched. The blades were a gorgeous shade of purple. As I wrapped the belt around my waist, I came to the realisation that I was sopping wet. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. 

"Shit," I grimaced, pushing my hands through my hair. I put the knives back in their holsters and pulled a stretchy band from one of the handles to tie my hair up with. I hated the Games already. I smelled disgusting.

After looking around from my post on the tree, I decided to get a feel for my surroundings, and walked deeper into the jungle. Two cannons went off already, and I knew that one was the girl from Two that Pidge shot. The other death could be Lance, Matt, or Pidge. My stomach dropped at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got so nervous just writing this? help


	22. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The jungle can't be trusted.

The jungle was so unbearably hot. I felt so isolated in my current position, although, the Holt siblings were renowned for being cunning, so I had to stay wary. I kept my eyes on the trees, looking up at the strange birds that had skewer-like beaks and red eyes. They looked as if they had been modified. It looked like one of Zarkon's creations.

I kept walking with a knife in my hand, my heart nervously thumping in my chest. Anyone could be around here, despite how large the arena was. I wondered how Lance was doing. Did he have a mate yet? It was very possible, even if he said he didn't care. I was such a hypocrite -  _I_ said I didn't care, and then my stupid self caught feelings for him. Now any more, though - I constantly had Shiro's voice in my head. Now that the scent blockers had been deactivated, I could finally figure out what Lance was.

As I walked, I came across a beautiful clearing, with a clear waterfall flowing from a high, rocky cliff, straight into a large lake. Flowers of bright, admirable colours were scattered here and there, peppering the rocks with life. It was almost too good to be true. I stood on a rock and observed my surroundings, taking in the scent of the jungle, the flowers, and the water.

It reminded me of Lance. The blue in his eyes. The blue he  _wore_ \- it was so calming and tranquil, just like the side of him he revealed to me when he realised he could trust me. Or, until I'd stopped talking to him because of Shiro. I was still frightened that something was going to happen to him, and I guess that was the reason why Shiro said not to make friends. I sighed, staring at my reflection in the water.

My father would be watching me right now, probably thinking if I had a plan. I didn't. I had no idea what to do or where to go next.

A piercing, blood-curdling female scream emanated from the left side and my head shot up. Was that  _Pidge?_

"Pidge?" I called, frantically running in that direction, until I heard the cannon sound. My blood ran cold. "Pidge!"

Then, a growl, much lower than any animal I'd known rumbled from the depths of the trees. What happened to her, even if it was Pidge? I was terrified, and the more I walked, the more doubtful I became.

"Pidge?" I muttered, my heart pounding. I checked everywhere - the trees, high up in the canopy, and even uncovered a few large plants. I started to lose hope and decided to go back to the clearing, until I was face-to-face with something that definitely, sincerely,  _was not Pidge._ Its teeth were bared in a snarl as it approached me, blood dripping from the fur around its muzzle. I'd ran into a big cat, and as my breath hitched, and my pulse record bleeped in terror, I backed away slowly. All I knew from school was that jaguars had the jaw strength to crush a human skull.

"Good kitty," I whispered, my eyes as wide as saucers. This was it. I was going to die. Fight or flight. You're an Alpha, Keith, for fuck's sake. Could it pick up my distress hormone? If I didn't run now, I was going to die. And this wasn't the way I wanted to go.

Instantly, I dashed off in the other direction, sprinting as fast as I could as I heard it running after me, its growls echoing through the trees as I became its prey. I kept hoping, almost  _pleading_ that it hadn't killed Pidge, because the scream sounded so alike hers. I didn't even have time to put my knife back in the holster. Trying to run with it made my waist hurt. I was going to get blisters if I wasn't careful.

My feet ached as they slammed against the floor, trying to exceed my stamina as I raced through the jungle, past the clearing with the waterfall, past the tree I stood beside, until a lack of water and food caused a stitch in my side. I doubled over, clutching my waist as I hid behind a thick tree, covering my pulse record, trying to quieten my breath, just so it wouldn't find me. 

I thought I'd lost it, when suddenly, a claw raked itself across my left shoulder, ripping the fabric and tearing skin as it did so. I cried out in pain as the predator watched me, eyeing me like I was prey. I didn't know what else to do. Could I kill it? Was it  _impossible_ to kill? I looked down at my bleeding arm as it stung. I seethed, glaring at the jaguar, regretting everything, from going to find out who screamed, stalling, running away, hiding-

I decided to take the flight option and run as fast as my legs could carry me. It was excruciatingly painful and I had no other option, but my luck began to turn as I bolted past a male wearing a deep fuchsia. The jaguar changed its course to him instead, leaving me feeling guilt, but  _relieved_ as I escaped into the jungle.

With my heart racing, I leaned against a tree when I realised I was far out of sight. Adrenaline took over quickly. At least the rest of the Districts back at home had a little entertainment; to their disappointment, I barely escaped. I bet they were looking forward to me becoming a meal. I slid the knife back into its holster and decided to peel back the ripped parts of the suit to look at the damage.

Three bleeding scratches, all stinging with the same level of pain, seeped into my shoulder. I just had to stay clear of anything bad to prevent infection. That's one way to go, at least. A slow, painful way. Once I regained my stamina, I walked further in. Food was a priority if I didn't want to die, so I started looking for that, ignoring the searing pain in my arm. I lifted my wrist to check the pulse record, and to my surprise, there were a lot more symbols than before.

My blood type. My name. My District. My secondary gender. My height, weight, and age. It acted more like an identification tag, rather than a pulse recorder.

_"...run!"_

I stopped in my tracks, hearing footsteps thundering against the leaves on the jungle floor. This could either be a hoax or something dangerous - so I took the smart decision and sprinted, being aware of my surroundings. I could also have just hallucinated. Another pair of footsteps began running behind me, so I looked back, and it was the boy dressed in dark pink, racing at me with a small dagger. Did the nervousness ever end? I thought the jaguar had him. I had to get him off my tail and ran faster, reaching for a knife, before I was slammed into another person.

Behind me, something heavy hit the floor. A cannon boomed in the distance.

"Keith?"

I shook my head and groaned, rubbing my chin. I then lifted my head to face an astounded Pidge, and suddenly, my heart started to sing. She  _was_ okay. And I'd just slammed into her after not looking where I was going. She clutched her bow close to her, looking at me in disbelief.

"Pidge?" I breathed, looking around. "Pidge, where's -"

She lunged towards me and wrapped her arms tightly around me. "What happened to your shoulder? Matt's back at a small base we have."

I held her close, knowing that I could've died, that I thought  _she_ died, and both of us were a mess. Her hair was tousled, her cheeks were flushed, we both reeked of seawater. Relief washed over her face. I turned around to look at the boy in pink, and there was an arrow sticking out of his neck. Pidge's skills were impressive; she went back to retrieve her arrow.

"Oh -!" she chuckled, tilting her head to the side. "Might as well greet you properly."

I looked down at her bared neck, laughing a little, as I placed my nose by her gland and took a deep breath. She barely had a scent, but it was noticeable. Pidge then leaned in and performed the same greeting.

"Alpha," she nodded. "We'd better protect you."

"And you're a Beta?" I raised a brow. "I'd always thought you were an Alpha."

Pidge laughed as we both jogged through the jungle. She was always so strong and so feisty, but being a Beta also made sense. I was curious as to what Matt was, too. I was just so glad that I'd found her. I almost had hope that Lance was at the base, too.

"So, since you avoided my question," she panted, looping her bow onto her shoulder. "What happened to your shoulder?"

"Did you not hear it?" I frowned. "There was a jaguar back there and I managed to outrun it, but its claws caught me when I tried to hide."

Just a few more minutes of jogging and we found Matt rifling through a backpack, which I was happy about, but no sign of Lance made my mood drop again. I started to worry about him, even though I promised myself not to.

"Ah! Keith!" Matt grinned, standing up, baring his neck. He almost choked on air as he took in my scent, and I was astounded at his, too. "We're both Alphas."

I nodded. "Two out of the five most wanted. Have you seen Lance anywhere?"

I was right. He was the one who also skipped breakfast that morning before training. No wonder he had that nutrient bar, and why he was so relaxed after the sexual health test.

"He swam in a different direction back at the cornucopia," Pidge explained, cleaning her bloody arrow. "Which is annoying. Did you even tell him that we wanted to ally with him?"

I bit my lip.  _Oh shit._

"No," I murmured, wincing as Matt picked up a roll of bandage from the backpack and unzipped the top of my suit to reveal my shoulder. Pidge glared at me in disappointment. "You know the Shiro situation."

"Shiro isn't around any more!" she laughed. "Keith, we can go find him, find out his secondary gender, and you can make hot love to him."

Matt's fingers tripped as his sister blurted that out, making me cry out in pain, no longer after choking on air at the thought. "I'm not making hot love to him."

Matt gave his sister a knowing look, before turning to me again. "Alright."

"What?" I murmured. "Shiro said -"

"Look, it doesn't matter," Matt snorted, putting the roll of bandage back in his backpack. "Don't pull at the bandage."

He carefully zipped the suit back up and I gave him a grateful grin; however, I couldn't help but think that these two were plotting something, as if they were planning on Lance and I to get together. I was too far deep within Shiro's mindset to do that. I still hadn't apologised to Lance for ignoring him.

"Plan is," Pidge began. "We find food. We find water. We find Lance."

"If he's not already dead, Katie," Matt shrugged. I shot him an anxious look. He can't be dead. _He can't_. "Aw, Keith's  _worried_."

"I am not." I pouted.  _I am._ Matt rolled his eyes.

"Let's save the teenage crushes for the campfires and focus on the food."

It didn't feel right without Lance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im taking bonus chapter requests if you want a different perspective on the story or if you wanna read something significant
> 
> otherwise tysm for all the kudos, i'm so happy omg <3


	23. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking for food is hard.

Trudging through the humid jungle was one thing. Discovering that it stretched far out to the rest of the arena, was another. It was only a matter of time before we dehydrated, or got some kind of gross infection from the heat. The only person who had that risk was me, due to the injury on my shoulder. Pidge had an arrow loaded within the string of her bow, ready to fire if we were attacked. Likewise, Matt picked up the small dagger the boy wearing pink was carrying. He had the number one on his shoulder, and as much as we wanted to stay and loot him, a hovercraft was descending from above.

"What's that?" Pidge whispered as we all gathered behind a large tree. A hatch opened from the undercarriage of the craft, revealing a large claw. As it descended it caused an outburst of air to circulate around a small area of the jungle, which I was grateful for - it dried my hair a little bit.

"I assume it's to take the body away before it rots," Matt murmured. I looked at it in awe, but it was horrifying at the same time. The male was lifted into the hovercraft, and it left as soon as it appeared. "Did we get his secondary gender?"

Pidge and I shook our heads. "Does it matter now that he's dead?" I asked.

Matt shrugged.

We seemed to walk for miles in sodden suits, damp hair and sweat. It didn't help that the heat made our sense of smell more sensitive, and even if Pidge didn't have much of a scent, I could definitely pick it up.

"I wonder how Rover's doing back at home," Pidge sighed, wiping her forehead. Matt lifted his head as if his spirits had been revived.

"I've been thinking that too!" he laughed. I now realised that having siblings as allies was a lot like being a third wheel, and as much as I loved being around them, I felt invisible. At least if we found Lance it won't be as lonely. I hoped so, anyway.

"Who's Rover?" I asked, swatting away a fly.

"Our dog," Pidge replied, turning to me. All we came across was green, more trees, and insects that looked disgusting and venomous. I was convinced that we were walking in circles. "Big dog. Fluffy dog. Good dog."

"I used to have a cat," I laughed. "All the dogs in my District are feral."

"Rover was a stray," Matt piped up. "He might as well have been feral, but he was on the brink of starvation and mom couldn't stand to see him outside alone."

"I miss mom," Pidge pouted. "What about your family, Keith?"

Suddenly, I felt as if I could comfortably talk about my family without judgement. We were in the middle of a jungle and probably going to starve soon, so I took a deep breath and braced myself for the sympathy.

"I'm an only child," I began. "I lost my mom in a forest fire when we went out hunting together, and so it's just been my dad and I ever since."

"Fuck." Pidge gasped. "I'm so sorry, Keith, forget I ever asked."

"How old are you, out of curiosity?" Matt asked. "Also, I have an idea. We're going to go back to the water near the cornucopia. Take a right."

"I'm nineteen," I replied, feeling my muscles ache as we changed direction. "So this year was my second reaping."

"Pidge is eighteen, so it's her first," Matt sighed. Pidge rolled her eyes - I knew she was capable of doing it on her own. "I'm almost twenty-two."

"Then we better make it back for your twenty-second," I laughed. "And you volunteered for Pidge, right?"

Pidge nodded. "I'm kind of glad he did, since Matt's an Alpha and all."

Finally, we reached the exit to the jungle and I sighed heavily in relief. The dirt and mud became sand, that reached out towards the waves that lapped against the shore. Far out in the centre was the cornucopia. The stone bridges reaching from the circular field of grass in the middle to the jungle were still intact. I squinted as the sun beat down on us, and we took the chance to sit on the sand and dry ourselves off.

"So much for keeping clean," Pidge huffed, crawling over to the waves and splashing her face clean with water. She took the chance to wipe her spectacle lenses and placed them onto her nose; she sighed in relief after not wearing them for so long.

"It must be around three o'clock," Matt tapped his chin, tip-toeing to peer over the water. "Half-past three."

"How do you know?" I asked, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand.

"We take care of solar panels," Pidge brushed the sand off her backside and stretched. "It's important to know shit like that. Matt's just a nerd."

"You're a nerd," Matt replied. I snorted. Allying wasn't that bad after all.

We took the time to relax for a while, basking in the sun to let our bodies dry. I took my hair out of the band and ran my fingers through it, before tying it back up again. The arena seemed so large, now that we were standing on the edge of the water. There was nobody left in the cornucopia, and I started to wonder if there was anything useful in there we could use. 

"Matt, how about we try fishing?" I asked. "Do you think there's anything in the water?"

"You know, Keith," he laughed. "I would. But you know who can fish?"

 _For fuck's sake._ Pidge gave me a knowing, sarcastic look, that just screamed  _"you fucked up, didn't you?"_  

"Lance," I muttered, hanging my head in shame. "Yeah, I know."

As the siblings chattered among themselves, I stood up and gazed over the water, wondering where the hell Lance actually was. Shiro wasn't here any more, and although he was watching, it wasn't as if he could stop me, could he? The cornucopia looked so inviting. I wanted to see what other weapons I could loot to complete our food-hunting mission, or at least see if there was a spear so we could fish. This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Who's that?" Pidge stood up, pointing at someone sprinting across one of the stone bridges. In the sun, it was hard to distinguish, but I knew that brown hair and blue anywhere. And he was heading straight for the cornucopia, the little prick.

"Lance," I breathed, racing towards the nearest bridge and dashing across as Pidge and Matt yelled at me to return. I couldn't - Lance was alive, and as much as I was mad at him for leaving so soon without allying, I wanted to see him. However, the way he was racing towards the cornucopia unsettled me. It was as if he was allying with someone else. When he looked up and saw me coming, I used all the strength in me to run faster. I had to apologise. For everything.

But as soon as he snatched a backpack, he started running the other way.

"Get back here!" I yelled, almost an arms-width away as I swiped at him. "Lance McClain!"

And just like that, he got away, kicking up sand as he travelled into the deep jungle. I turned to see Matt and Pidge at the cornucopia, with their heads in their hands. Why did he run from me? It wasn't as if I was carrying weapons in my hands, they were around my waist. I sighed.

"You're a fucking idiot!" Pidge shouted, running towards me. "What the _fuck_ were you thinking?! You can't just run off like that!"

"He was right there!" I hissed. 

"Yeah, and now he's gone," she hissed. "We'll find him later. Come on, the sun's going down."

I walked behind the duo in silence, thinking about why Lance would've ran. We were so close to seeing each other, too. At least Matt took a spear from the cornucopia, so we were equipped to kill things for food.

Was Lance  _scared_ of me?

To think that I'd be talking to him right now, apologising to him, and actually making up. I hadn't said a single word to him in such a long time, just because I was so involved in listening to Shiro. My heart ached with emotional hurt. He was out there on his own, probably very vulnerable. When we made it back to the shore, we took a risk, and decided to build a fire. Matt had the idea of transferring the fire to the jungle so we couldn't get detected.

I groaned. I really didn't want to go back in there, but we managed to set up right outside.

Pidge and I peered into the deep blue, waist-deep in water as we carried spears and knives, ready to thrust them at anything that moved. Pidge seemed so weary despite the fact that it was sundown, and night was approaching quickly. She managed to catch a few small fish, whereas I was empty-handed. While Matt figured out the fire, we stood in the water for a little while. It was refreshing and cold.

"I still can't believe you're not talking to him," Pidge muttered. "I mean, you can now. It seemed like such a petty reason. Just get your head out of your ass."

"It's not my fault," I looked at her. "I feel so conflicted over the mate and friend situation."

"Look," Pidge placed her hand on my shoulder, a look of hope in her eyes. "If you want him, go to him. We could die tonight and there are so many things we haven't done. We'll find him tomorrow. We saw where he went."

"I guess," I nodded. 

We walked back to shore and sat where the dirt met the sand, half in humid jungle, half in cold beach. The moon danced over the waves as they kissed the sand, decorating the water with silver ribbons. Using a knife, we cut away the vital parts of the fish and cooked it over the fire. I'd never been so grateful to have fish in my life. I couldn't stop thinking about Lance after what Pidge said.  _I_ could die tonight.  _He_ could die tonight.

Suddenly, the anthem boomed over the arena, and we all whipped our head around to see what the commotion was. My heart started hammering out of surprise, but they were only listing the Tributes that had died that day. Pidge sighed; she'd killed two of them.

"I feel horrible," she whispered, the District names reflecting off her glasses. Their secondary genders flashed up in their corresponding symbols: the Omega girl from Two, the Omega boy from Three, the Beta girl from Seven, and the Omega boy from One were all victims. I sighed in relief; I hoped I'd never get to see Lance's name up there. Or any of our names.

"Do you regret killing?" Matt asked. Pidge shrugged.

"It's part of the rules," she murmured. "Mom and dad are going to hate me."

"They won't," I patted her back. "It's all part of the Games. You just eliminated two people out of the four that died today, which means there are twenty left in this arena right now."

"How many of each are here?" Matt asked. "If you know what I mean."

I tried to remember what Shiro told me. "Five Alphas, nine Betas, ten Omegas."

"So," Matt stared up at the twilight sky. "Seven Omegas, eight Betas, five Alphas left. We're the two Alphas, which makes three left out there. And minus Katie as a Beta means that there are seven Betas out there."

"What about Lance?" Pidge whispered. My heart dropped.

"We don't know where or what Lance is," I muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing that scene where keith ran after lance reminded me of that part in madagascar when theyre running across the beach
> 
> anyone else
> 
> no just me


	24. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three out of four is still bad. Keith looks for the missing one.

Stars glittered the crystal-clear midnight sky, speckling the water with rhinestones, as the waves lapped against the cold shore. I noticed that temperatures dropped overnight and it was almost freezing, despite decreasing a few degrees. Luckily, the heat of the jungle flared against the back of our necks, fighting with the cold. It was a comforting warmth, contrary to the atmosphere behind us. Matt and Pidge sat beside each other, leaning against one another, watching the waves ebb and flow. Apart from the eerie noises of the jungle, it was peacefully quiet for once and we relished it, because we never knew when another scream would tear the silence that engulfed us. Pidge's head kept dropping as she nodded off, and despite her brother's attempts to encourage her to sleep, she was having none of it.

"Katie," he whispered. "Keith and I are Alphas, we'll keep watch, alright?"

I looked over to her tired face, and the sleepy gaze in her eyes. She took a deep breath in through her nose and stretched, before leaning her head against her brother's shoulder.

"Alright," she whispered. "We'll take in turns. Wake me up in half an hour."

Matt carefully moved his weary sister to a lying position, enabling her to get a little more comfort on the sand rather than his bulky shoulder. He looked down at her and sighed heavily, as if he was her babysitter. I didn't have siblings myself, so I couldn't empathise, however I knew what it was like to take care of another person. Matt had to protect his sister from a lot of things, and not just death. Although she wasn't an Omega, she was quite a feisty, however vulnerable Beta, and anything could happen to her. As much as I believed that she could protect herself, Matt was very possessive over her. Which was odd, since Alphas were more possessive over an Omega. But she was his sister.

"I saw the boy from Seven looking at her as if she was a meal," Matt whispered as Pidge fell asleep. "I'm scared for her. I want to kill him before he gets to her. I have a feeling he's an Alpha."

"I saw that too," I nodded. "You must love your sister a lot."

"We've been very close," he sighed. "We're practically inseparable, which is why I had to volunteer. I couldn't watch her struggle from home. I knew I had to go with her."

Pidge curled up in her sleep, her body rising and falling as she breathed. She didn't look like she belonged here at all, but then again, after killing two people and facing her dilemmas head on, it was as if she'd been here before.

"She's so smart," Matt smiled. "Smarter than me, I think. I'm so proud of her. Our parents are proud of her. She manages electricity like it's nobody's business."

"It seems like a waste of talent if you're here," I whispered. "You have so much ambition and yet your life is on the line."

"That's the cruel thing about it," he smiled sympathetically, hugging his knees to his chest. "Life is short. We could die right now and I haven't even had my birthday."

I smirked. "You're really set on that birthday, huh."

My gaze fell upon Pidge, who was sleeping like a log. It was unbelievable how quickly she slipped into slumber because with the experiences I'd had already, I didn't know if I could. Adrenaline was still threading through my veins and I didn't want to sleep just yet. Having an Alpha stamina had its pros, and Matt was certainly taking advantage of them by staying up. Despite having all that energy, it was going to waste by how I was staying put until morning.

Lance probably didn't have this problem. He was off somewhere in the jungle, maybe sleeping, or fighting, or foraging. I still felt conflicted and hurt by how he ran away like a deer in headlights earlier; he had the look of a wounded animal in his eyes as he glared at me, before snatching the backpack and escaping. I wondered why. There were so many reasons and possibilities that it was almost impossible to tell what was going on. I should never have fought with him - although, if I'd never gave him a nosebleed, I wouldn't have caught feelings, and I realised that experiencing the moment of forelsket butterflies was better than concealing myself completely. Our group was an odd number which wasn't going to work. I needed to find Lance.

Matt carefully shook his sister on the shoulder, slowly rousing her from her slumber. She sat up and stretched, letting her joints pop as she woke herself up. She wasn't going to be happy with my decision and neither was Matt. After rubbing her eyes, Pidge assumed her original sitting position and flexed her fingers, and I stood up, preparing to search.

"What are you doing?" Pidge asked. Matt led down and closed his eyes beside her.

"I'm going to find Lance," I replied. "He could be on his own out there."

Pidge sighed. "So are you if you leave."

"I'm an Alpha," I shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure you want to after he ran away from you earlier?" she whispered. I nodded.

"I'd rather him know that I'm alive than live with the fact that he's on his own."

Pidge sighed heavily, looking down at her sleeping brother. It was something that I just had to do, and since the siblings wanted to ally with him on the first place, it was only noble to fix my wrongs and make them right again.

"Alright," she whispered. "Stay safe."

And with that, I began travelling in the direction Lance scampered off to, which involved walking over the sand and into the disgusting depths of the jungle. I was so determined to find him that I wasn't afraid of anything getting in my way, including people. I clutched a knife in my gloved hand as tightly as possible while my pace quickened into a light jog, cutting down any vines and bushes that blocked my path. I kept a wary eye out for any Tributes, including cunning Omegas and Betas that thought they could one-up themselves by killing an Alpha. I was surprised that Pidge let me go that easily. It was probably because she'd just woken up, and her mind was slowly recollecting itself. On the other hand, she still asked me what I was doing, and was smart enough to point out facts. Perhaps she knew that it was a chance we'd finally get all of our allies together, which is what she and her brother wanted.

Even if I came back with Lance, I'd have to bear the journey with silence as I'd think of pointless excuses. I'd have to explain the situation with Shiro, and pepper it with apologies. Could I swallow my pride and say sorry? I hoped so. Lance had been through so much physical and emotional hurt because of me, and maybe Pidge was right. I really should take my head out of my ass. Not only would Lance be an asset to our team, but he was fast. Terrifyingly fast. His swimming skills were impeccable and if he could fish for us too, that was going to be extremely helpful. Our entire spirits would skyrocket.

No matter what, I thought I owed a lot to Lance. The night before the Games he came in and comforted me, despite the fact that I'd unwillingly ignored him. It was Shiro's fault, not mine. And now it was as if I'd been brainwashed to stoop down to Shiro's standards to eradicate the entire concept of mates from my head. Has anyone even managed to find a mate yet? Surely not - it was the first night of the games and the chances of that were so unlikely.

Out of the blue, there was a piercing male scream that echoed through the tall trees, followed by a couple of whimpers. Begging was all I could hear. It was loud enough to cause the birds to flee from their nest, and in an instant, I was sprinting to see who had screamed. It sounded so much like the person I'd hoped it wouldn't be. With large, quick strokes, I swept away every vine and intruding leaf as possible to reach that person quicker. The beeping on my wrist was loud enough for someone to hear, despite Shiro telling me the volume had been decreased; I couldn't help but think that was a lie. I was petrified, because if it was Lance, I felt like an idiot. An idiot for leaving him on his own, vulnerable and scared, after all he did to me and I'd given him nothing in return.

And then, a cannon boomed in the distance.

"Fuck," I hissed, dashing through the shrubbery as I tried to get there as quickly as possible. It couldn't be Lance. Lance couldn't have died. He was so strong and agile and I knew he wasn't that much of an idiot to give himself away. As I travelled deeper in the same direction, a thick, musky scent filled the air, slightly changing my perception on my own thoughts.

It wasn't a natural scent. And it wasn't a man-made scent, like smoke, either.

Without hesitation, I followed the scent until it grew so strong I had to cover my nose. The gland in my neck had swollen significantly, and I no longer could perceive things as great as I could a few minutes ago. My heart was in my throat as the noise of the cannon replayed in my head.

I decreased my pace to a jog as the scent grew thicker, filling my head until I felt groggy. With one hand over my nose and one clutching a knife, I slowed down to a walk to catch my breath. The sudden silence allowed me to listen, and to my surprise, a rustling in a bush not so far from where I was sent my mind on fire. I kept quiet, cautiously holding out my weapon as I stepped closer. Upon listening further, pained, wounded whimpers came from beyond the bush. I didn't know what to think. The scent was coming from there, too.

With a swift movement I yanked the bush to the side and quickly drew my sword as a threat, before staring at the face of a sobbing, helpless, Lance McClain. His right arm was pressed on his shoulder, his suit had been ripped and torn. But most of all, the look in his eyes was petrifying. My heart dropped in relief.

"Lance -!"

"No, no, you can't be," he stammered, scrambling backward, his chest heaving. "Not you. Anyone but you!"

"Shh, sh," I placed my knife back in its holster and stepped over the bush, kneeling down to support him as he wept. His left arm had been sliced at, as well as his left thigh. I bit my lip; I really shouldn't have left him on his own. When I tried to help him, he flinched, and that only made me hate myself more.

"I'm not going to hurt you -"

"You're an Alpha!" he cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. "No wonder you gave me a fucking nosebleed! All you care about is yourself!"

The scent, I realised, was coming from Lance. And it wasn't any kind of scent.

"Lance, I'm sorry, listen," I whispered, outstretching my hand. He bit his lip and hiccuped, his eyes flitting from my hand to my gaze. "Trust me. I'm not going to hurt you."

Lance was an Omega, which explained his submissiveness, and probably the way he ran away from me earlier.

"Promise me," he quivered, gently touching his fingertips against mine. The pain in his eyes tore at my heart. I felt so much remorse. 

"You're wounded," I whispered, slowly stretching out his leg. "I promise." It seemed as if walking was going to hurt him more. He flinched as I kept my hands on his thigh. He was so timid and restless.

And suddenly, I knew why.

"Are you..." I muttered, gathering his belongings. "You're in heat, aren't you?"

Lance nodded shakily. No wonder he was so wounded: his scent was so obvious that he could be found quickly and easily. The Alpha side took over. I couldn't let a vulnerable Omega stay like this. Along with his backpack, a bloody trident led near his quaking body. I tried my best to stifle the hormones being released in my own body, but in the end, Lance _was_ experiencing a heat.

"I'm sorry, could you cover your neck?" I murmured, slinging his backpack over my shoulder. He did so meekly, still sobbing quietly. I had to sort him out as soon as we got back. "I'm going to have to carry you, is that okay?"

Lance nodded. "Where are we going?"

"Matt and Pidge have a base set up, and -"

Lance lunged forward and tightly wrapped his arms around my waist, his nose buried into my healing shoulder while he wept. I was astounded. All this and he still recognised that I had some good in me. Hesitantly, I held him close, slowly rubbing my hand up and down his back.

"Fuck you," he sobbed. "Fuck you, Keith."

"I know," I whispered into his damp hair. He was shaking so much. It was a horrible coincidence to have a heat now. "Shh, I know. I'm a terrible person."

I had to get him out of there before some horrible infection got to him. But right now, we were closer than ever, and all he wanted to do, I guessed, was treasure the small moment we had.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling tears pinprick the corner of my eyes. My fingers brushed his hair as he calmed down in the crook of my neck. Luckily it wasn't the side with the gland. "Come on, let's get you clean and bandaged, okay?"

I slid the trident in between the straps of the backpack, then I picked up Lance, carrying him bridal-style. He looked so sleep-deprived and weak. The total opposite of what he was when we were back at the Tribute living quarters. I just had to control the urges; I hoped we could get a suppressant for his pheromones somehow. His sapphire eyes gazed up at me as I walked through the jungle, blanketed in a comforting silence.

"Who wounded you?" I asked.

"Nyma," he sniffed. "The cannon went off because she managed to miss me and hit herself in the neck instead."

I looked down at him in awe. Somehow, even if his suit was all torn and he looked sleepy as hell, there were still ways in which he was gorgeous. And knowing that Shiro wasn't here, I didn't have to block those thoughts any more.

"I'm so happy you're alive," I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeres lancey lance


	25. Remorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making everything right seems to be a priority.

The hot, dense jungle intensified the scent coming from Lance, and as much as he tried to cover it, I still picked it up. As much as I wanted to help him the scent was almost stifling and I certainly didn't want to lash out at him; I wanted to take care of Lance with as much hospitality as I could to prevent him from getting hurt further. The strange possessiveness had taken over me, as if he was _mine_ , _my Omega_ , and I wasn't going to hesitate to protect him. However, I couldn't decide whether I wanted to protect him because it was Lance, or because he was an Omega, and I was only following my instincts.

"You don't have to take me Keith, I'd rather you kill me now," he muttered, looking up at me like a scared puppy. "All I'll do is bring everybody down -"

"I'm not killing you," I replied. It hurt me to know he had that aspect in his head. "You won't bring everyone down."

"I will," he murmured. "I'm helpless and useless and vulnerable and my scent will just bring enemies closer."

"Then we'll kill them," I sighed. "I'm not leaving you to die."

Lance fell silent, his gaze never faltering. It was intent, as if he was trying to read my mind. I wasn't going to do it. I was so determined to fix up his wounds, and I definitely wasn't going to let Matt do that. He couldn't take Lance from me.

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" Lance asked.

"Because..." I began. I didn't know how to respond, and Shiro was usually the one that made my decisions, not me. And because of that, I couldn't talk to Lance without having his voice in my head. Before Lance's gaze drooped away altogether, I decided to begin with Shiro's message. "I wasn't allowed around you. He told me that I shouldn't get friends or mates in the arena because I was going to experience a lot of emotional pain if they died, and making friends was a waste of time."

"Oh," Lance replied, a look of guilt casting over his face, the crease of his brow noticeable in the moonlight. My legs began to ache as we neared out destination. I hoped Lance was going to take my excuse as genuine this time. "So does that mean we can be friends?"

I went quiet. The answer was, that I really didn't know. I wanted to believe Shiro because he made quite a valid argument, but also, I was fighting with my feelings all the time. I'd physically fought with Lance and given him cuts and bruises during training. I'd hurt him emotionally due to Shiro's doing. The more I pondered, the more hopeless Lance's gaze became. It broke my heart knowing that he thought his feelings were unrequited. I didn't even know what my feelings were doing, although I was closer than mere allies with the Holt siblings. I couldn't say no, but I couldn't say yes, either.

"I don't know," I replied. "I can't think straight, Lance. I'd rather we have this conversation when your scent is suppressed."

"Are you serious?" he frowned. "You care more about getting affected by my scent than caring about my feelings?"

I looked down at him, feeling my foot hit the sand as we exited the jungle. We made it out alive. Pidge and Matt were still sat on the opposite side.

"No, no!" I stressed. "I'm just saying -"

"Forget it," Lance whispered, his voice cracking while his ocean eyes sparkled with tears. Hormones can do pretty awful things to an Omegas body. I really wanted to help him, but without using the urges inside my Alpha body. It was going to be hard but I had to do it for him. "You're still selfish."

I felt something inside me snap. Lance really was hitting the sensitive parts, wasn't he? I didn't want to be selfish in front of him. I didn't even notice that I was doing it, it was just instinct, but from then on, if I wanted Lance to trust me, I realised I had to tone it down. The rest of the journey was completely silent as I trudged across the sand, listening to the purr of the waves, feeling the heavy trident and backpack dig into my shoulders. Lance's gaze fell onto the water, his eyelids drooping as he did so. I felt so much pity for him. I didn't know what I was going to do.

When we finally arrived, Pidge was falling asleep herself before her head shot up, her lips relaxing into a tired smile as her eyes fell on Lance. Gently, I leaned down and placed him on the floor, being careful not to touch his bleeding wounds. I was lucky Matt was still asleep. I wouldn't let another Alpha go near Lance at all. I placed the trident and the backpack out of the way. We'd go through that later.

"Hey- _whoa_." Pidge bit her lip. "How did you manage to bring him here with that scent?"

My glare remained on her sleeping brother, before I shook myself out of it. I wasn't going to become _violent_ , surely. Matt wasn't after Lance. Lance was just experiencing a heat, and the thick, strong scent wasn't going to help anyone. Her hand delicately pushed back Lance's hair as I reached for the backpack, rifling through it for the roll of bandages.

"I'm going to have to remove your suit," I sighed. Lance's eyes widened. "Will you be able to trust me?"

"You can't," Lance quivered. "Y-you can't, I, I won't -"

"Okay," I whispered, kneeling back. I didn't know what else to suggest. He was in _pain_ and he wouldn't let me do anything about it. I turned to Pidge and gave her a hopeless gaze.

"Could you use the water, maybe?" she shrugged. Lance shook his head, his chest heaving.

"Sea water isn't sterile," he breathed. "Look, just leave me to -"

"We're not leaving you to die!" I hissed. "For the last time, let us help you."

Lance fell quiet after that. Matt hadn't stirred, and Pidge had to check if he was still breathing. After a brief silence of wondering what to do, I didn't know whether to give up. My palm covered my pulse record when my heart rate decreased out of pure fear because I didn't want to lose Lance so soon. I'd just found him, wounded, vulnerable, and very hormonal, and I was so glad another Alpha hadn't gotten to him first. Pidge looked so deep in thought, her eyes focused on Lance's wounded arm and leg. I didn't want to lose him to an infection or bleeding.

As I slowly gave up hope, a small beeping appeared, and I had to check my pulse record for my heart rate. It was still accelerating, but it wasn't beeping. Pidge held hers up, the blue screen remaining normal. If none of us were activating the emergency pulse record response, then what was the beeping noise?

Pidge looked up, and her mood suddenly lifted. I craned my neck upwards to see a metal tin-like structure, descending gently via a silver parachute, before it touched down on the sand. Lance couldn't stop shaking. My fear of losing him was growing way too quickly. What was I going to do if he did die?

Hesitantly, I reached for the parachute and unscrewed the lid, popping it open to reveal the contents inside. Pidge peered in too, while reassuringly rubbing Lance's forehead. There was a slip of paper in there. Was this to be trusted? It wasn't a bomb, right? I took out the slip of paper first, hearing Lance's whimpers get louder.

"Shh, sh," I turned to him; he was a complete wreck. "It's going to be okay."

 _Control yourself - Shir_ o

"Good advice," Pidge muttered. I nodded. I thought I was doing an excellent job so far.

One tin was blue, and had the Omega symbol engraved on the lid. The other was completely blank, and so I did my best to decipher what it meant.

"I assume the Omega tin is a suppressant," Pidge took the blue tin and unscrewed it. The ointment in there was a pale pink, but it smelled incredibly peculiar - I felt my urges calm down instantly. "I'll apply this to his neck, you take care of his wounds."

As soon as Pidge began smearing the ointment over Lance's gland, he relaxed immediately, offering relief to all of us. His constant quivering and whimpering ceased as the scent was masked, until it disappeared completely, and I could finally inhale fresh air. He sat up wearily, looking at me with a timid smile.

"Do you feel better?" he whispered. "I'm sorry -"

I shook my head at him. "Stop apologising. You've done nothing wrong. Now, grit your teeth, this might hurt a little."

Pidge helped to prop Lance up as I opened the second tin. The ointment was milk-white this time, and smelled a lot like alcohol and mint. With a mound of it on my index and middle finger, I began smearing it over the slices in Lance's leg, watching him tense out of the corner of my eye. He gritted his teeth and seethed, digging his fingers into Pidge's left leg, causing her to flinch.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm trying not to hurt you on purpose."

"That's new," Lance breathed, his chest heaving. "Please get it over and done with- _fuck! Ow!"_

I almost stopped applying it. Even though his scent had diminished, I still felt pity for him. I didn't want to hurt him any more than I did in the past, but in the back of my mind, I knew this was going to make him feel better in the morning. With his whimpers making my heart sink, I moved onto his arm, and smeared the last of the ointment into his wound. His cheeks were tearstained by the time I'd finished. I felt awful.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. All I felt was remorse. I wanted to keep apologising, but it wasn't as if it was going to change the past. Lance's eyes closed as he exhaled slowly through his nose, almost as if he were processing my apology.

"Stop apologising," he whispered. "You've done nothing wrong."

"But I have," I furrowed my brow. He used my line.

"You two talk while I get some shut-eye," Pidge sighed. "Just don't run off into the night. Keep watch. Be wary. Remember to sleep."

Lance needed the sleep more than I did, and when Pidge curled up and drifted off, I crawled to his side. I wanted to make things right again, whatever it took. Feelings were feelings. If fate existed, then I was willing to wait for it.

"Why are you always looking at me as if I'm wounded, now?" he whispered. It was so much easier talking to him without the obvious scent. I wondered how long it lasted, and if it warded off any other heat symptoms. "I mean, I know I was, but just because you're an Alpha it doesn't mean that you have to baby me all the time."

I bit my lip. It was only instinct, and I only wanted to create trust between us. I'd done some pretty unforgiveable things and I wasn't expecting Lance to give in at all. I just wanted him to know that I cared.

"Because I've been such an asshole to you," I whispered. "I hit you, I made your nose bleed, I called you a self-absorbed prick, and now I'm just selfish."

"You kind of are," Lance meekly scratched the back of his neck. "But go on."

"I want to make things right," I muttered. I felt my eyes well up. I'd never been so determined to be close to someone before. "I want you to trust me again. To be able to laugh together again, like that night with the horses."

A small smile creeped upon Lance's face. "I did enjoy doing that with you."

My heart pounded with hope. Maybe he was going to forgive me. And maybe, just maybe, I could stop following Shiro's example and become friends with him. We'd had such a good time together apart from the fighting and the stupid rivalry; we were all in this together, in the Games for one hopeless cause.

"I'll think about it," Lance whispered. I blinked back the tears before he could see. That was the best I was going to get, and I was hopeful about it. He then reached out a hand, slowly but surely, giving me an apologetic look. "Thank you for saving me."

Did he want me to _take his hand?_ I wasn't great at affection, but I could try for Lance. With hesitation, I reached for his hand, our fingers intertwining, before we both gave one another the same look. His hands were so warm and soft; they weren't calloused at all, despite the trident he'd been carrying. Finally, as he refused to let go, his gaze fell to my lips.

"Can I see you smile again?" he whispered. I smirked, rolling my eyes.

"Is that your dying wish?" I replied. Lance chuckled quietly.

"It might as well be."

For once, I gave in and relaxed, giving this demanding, delicate boy a smile. Lance's shy lips upturned too, until we were grinning at each other like idiots. We let go of each other's hands, looking over the water; I was thankful for the dark. My cheeks were burning.

"You should get some rest," I whispered. "You're still experiencing a heat."

"I think it's more of a scent blocker," Lance shrugged. "But I do feel a little relieved."

"Good," I nodded, helping him lie onto his back. "I'm gonna keep watch. I'll shake Pidge awake in about an hour."

"What about Matt?" Lance yawned, his blue eyes half-lidded. I looked over to Pidge's brother.

"I don't know how he'll react, he's an Alpha too," I whispered. "I doubt he'll lash out at you. You don't have the heat scent any more."

"That's a good thing," he said, in barely a whisper, as he let his eyes close. He was so peaceful when he rested. His eyelashes fluttered, his lips looked velvet-soft. I lifted a hand and gently pushed my fingers through his brown locks, feeling how smooth they were.

As he slept, I watched over him like a hawk. I didn't want any more harm to come to him at all. He didn't deserve any of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance is ok :")


	26. Fishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealousy, hormones and jungle, oh my.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of water splashing, which startled me from my slumber. When did I fall asleep? I couldn't remember waking Pidge up, or her taking over to watch, but it seemed as if we were all woken up with the mystery splashing. I clutched the handle of one of my knives, Lance reached for his trident, and Pidge unsheathed a bow, before realising it was only Matt trying to get us something to eat. Lance groaned, dropping his trident to the ground. His wounds were healed as if the ointment was some kind of miracle. I crawled over to examine them, gasping in awe, feeling the rough, pale scar tissue it left behind.

"You found Lance then," Matt folded his arms, kneeling down to greet him. "I gathered that he's an Omega."

I shot him a glare. There was no way we were becoming competitive over Lance, Omega or not - I assumed that, despite knowing hand-to-hand combat, Matt was never the violent type, since he only retrieved a backpack from the cornucopia.

"He's been given some kind of ointment to prevent his scent from becoming too strong," I explained. "You  _dare_ hurt him, Matt, and I'll make sure you'll pay for it."

"What a shame we're allies," he grinned. "I don't want him. Just don't let his scent get too strong; I don't want to fight you either, Keith."

"What the  _fuck_ _?"_ Lance hissed. "What kind of Alphas are you two!? Sure, I'm in heat, but it's suppressed! It's bad enough being wounded and painfully aroused without you two bickering about who's fucking and fighting who. I'm not even worth fighting for."

"Alright," Matt stood up, nodding his head in contentment. "My apologies. But Keith, if you  _do_ decide that you're going to help Lance with his heat, remember to keep your dignity and go somewhere private."

I glared at him. "I'm not going to."

In an ideal world, if I'd have helped and gained trust from Lance a long time ago, I would be the Alpha to help him with his heat. However, after a series of unfortunate events, thinking about it made my stomach churn; and it wasn't because of the aspect of a heat. It was not being able to trust  _myself_. While Matt left, Pidge crouched down and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Matt has some bad moments sometimes," she uttered. "But he's never lashed out. Ever. And I doubt Keith is that bad, right?"

Tell that to the other Alphas, Betas and Omegas I'd fought back home.

"If I ever become too violent, even if it's the fucking Hunger Games and violence is supposed to be the main factor," I muttered. "Please activate the hormone on my wrist."

"But that hurts you," Lance whispered. "It'll -"

"I don't care," I turned to him. "Trust me when I say it'll get ugly."

"How ugly?" Pidge swallowed. "Don't you think we should just kill you instead?"

"I'm just saying," I sighed. "It probably won't happen. You know about malnutrition fever in Alphas, don't you?

They both nodded. "Keith, we all have those hormones in our pulse records," Pidge muttered. "It's not just one hormone, you know."

"Wait," I gasped, taking Lance's arm. He gave me a startled look and I watched his heart rate increase; Pidge was definitely onto something, and I understood where she came from. If there was a hormone to suppress rage, then...

"Good idea," Pidge grinned, crawling to Lance's other side to hold his hand. She probably knew how much it hurt, she was quite a feisty Beta as is, but if by doing this Lance was going to feel better, then I couldn't miss a chance.

"Wait, guys, what are you-  _nng -"_

Gently, I squeezed the sliver of glass fixed into his skin, releasing an unknown hormone into his bloodstream. Knowing Shiro's strength and how he used it against me in the past caused me to be delicate on Lance. There was no way I was going to let him go through that much pain. Surprisingly, as he clenched Pidge's hand and groaned in pain, his face relaxed, and the pain in his gaze left completely.

"How do you feel?" Pidge asked, letting go of his hand. "Is it better than the suppressant?"

"I think so," Lance nodded. "I don't really  _feel_ anything regarding the heat."

I sighed in relief. The hormone had worked, and now it was filtering the heat hormone away little by little. I made a mental reminder to press it again in case it wore off, but at least now he knew how it felt to have it racing through his veins. He'd only had the rage suppressant once; I was surprised that he didn't flinch so much this time. I would have screamed.

"Do you want to help us fish?" Pidge asked. "You're District Four, right?"

While I stood up, watching Matt kick up water in boredom, Lance rolled his eyes. His attitude was going to make me sick if he continued. He lived in one of the wealthiest Districts so he was bound to have an ego, but seriously? Not only had I saved his life but I'd also responded well to his heat signals. And suddenly, I realised why he was calling me selfish.

" _District Four, fishing_ ," Lance mocked. "Yeah, I'm not helping you fish while I'm bleeding."

"You're not bleeding any more," Matt smirked. "Come on, this is your expertise."

How could I make Lance do something without  _actually doing anything_ _?_ Now he was the one being selfish, which was new. I pretended to sigh and picked up his trident, looking over at Pidge to give her a knowing wink. Rivalry had its perks; if Lance was told he couldn't do something, he loved proving people wrong.

"Y'know," I sighed. "Looks like we'll have to do it ourselves if Lancey-Lance is too  _hurt_."

"You're right!" Pidge cried. "How are we going to survive if Lance  _can't fish?"_

"I can fish!" Lance hissed, standing up to snatch his trident from my grasp. " _Lancey-Lance_ will have to do it all by his fucking self."

While Lance hurled his trident at the water, mumbling curses incoherently, Pidge and I stood back and laughed. It was hilarious when Lance got a little pissed out of spite, and even Matt chuckled to himself. He went into the water to pick up the fish Lance had killed and slid them into his backpack. I kept watching as the siblings gathered their belongings; Lance trailed his fingers through his hair as he straightened his back from leaning down, his trident glinting in the morning sun. He really was  _dashing_. Could Shiro see me staring at him like a yearning puppy? I hoped not. I wasn't doing anything important to take notice of.

He began walking back to shore, balancing the trident on the back of his neck as he held it with two hands, giving me a confident grin. I had to cover my pulse record when I noticed my heart rate accelerating.

"What's your skill, ponytail?" he winked. "You can't just be the fire boy."

Through fishing for everyone else, he'd only boosted his ego. This probably meant he was going back to his usual self, like he was before the Games. I cleared my throat and shook the image of him standing in the water out of my head. No mates.

"I wield knives," I replied. "Although if you keep this up I won't be afraid to put one to your throat."

Lance sucked his teeth. "You're definitely an Alpha."

"We're going to keep the fish in case of malnutrition," Matt explained. "Of course, we don't really have anywhere to keep them and the jungle is always hot, so we'll just have to replenish now and then. We're going to see if -"

"Coming up on the right," Pidge grabbed her bow, pointing to a duo running at us from the right side of the beach. "I'll get 'em, you wait here."

"What?!" Matt hissed. "You are  _not_ \- Katie Holt, _get back here!!"_

She was already sprinting over as we all panicked, stuck in place as our fingers trembled around our weapons. Matt was  _furious_ , but all he seemed to do was stand and watch as she drew an arrow and shot the two of them directly in the chest. Lance gasped in awe. I couldn't watch; she could have killed herself, and I was as mad as Matt was. It was irresponsible and hypocritical that she ran off on her own. And now, she was sauntering back carrying her used arrows while two cannons sounded behind her, their bodies limp and motionless on the sand. Matt ran up to her, slinging his backpack on his back.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" he breathed, placing two hands upon her cheeks. "Katie, you can't just run off!"

"I'm okay," she laughed. "Matt, really. It's either that or they'd have killed  _us_."

"I thought it was rather brave," Lance grinned. "Well done, Pidge."

She pushed up her glasses and turned to me, expecting some praise.

"You worried your brother and I," I muttered. "Please control yourself. Remember, you're not invincible."

"Don't do that again, Pigeon," Matt ruffled her hair and gave her a hug. "Come on, let's do some more killing. We have to win this for mom and dad, remember? Keith and Lance have family back home. With more than one winner, I'm sure we can bring fortune to all of our relatives."

"Matt's right," Lance said. "The sooner we eradicate the others, the sooner we get out of here."

So we journeyed back into the jungle, feeling the uncomfortable heat cling to our skin as we walked, and the Holt siblings wouldn't stop talking about the power plant near their house. Lance was still carrying his trident as if he was weightlifting it, holding it against the back of his neck, his eyes facing the front. Occasionally he'd pitch into the sibling's conversation, which annoyed me a little bit. Not quite _annoy_ \- it made me  _jealous_. I was right beside him and he hadn't said a word to me since the beach. 

"I've seen your power plant from my District," Lance laughed. "It's the green one."

"It's huge," Pidge replied, a wide smile stretching her lips. "How often do you fish a day?"

"Twice," Lance answered. "It's hard work, but it can be a lot of fun."

I felt so isolated. The siblings were from Five, he was from Four - and I was all the way across the country at Twelve. In fact, I wasn't surprised if they'd encountered one another before. Whatever. Shiro said friends didn't matter, anyway. I swept away a couple of vines that were in my way and tried my best to ignore their voices.

"You looked gorgeous at the catwalk, by the way," Lance purred. "Those little green gems on your hair? Green suits you, Pidge."

"I can't top your body paint, though," she giggled. "How on Earth did you manage to keep a golden laurel wreath on your head? I would've hated it."

He was  _flirting._ Again. After everything I'd done for him and he was still his usual self. It broke my heart that, even though I wasn't supposed to have feelings for him, I was  _jealous_ about it, and I envied the attention Pidge was getting. I enjoyed the little moment Lance and I had last night, but it seemed as if that was going to be the only and last time we were ever going to be like that again. Omegas have been known to go off with Betas. They live in neighbouring Districts, I wouldn't be surprised.

Finally, they stopped talking for a while, and after our attempts at finding more Tributes were proven futile, we stood beside a tree and tried to figure out a plan. It was so excruciatingly hot; I missed the cold water near the cornucopia, but then again, I hated it when I was drenched and walking through a humid jungle. My throat was raw and my head started to ache.

"We need to find a water source," I announced. "Fresh water. I found a waterfall and a stream back there before I found Matt and Pidge, so maybe we could find that again."

"Do you know which direction it is?" Matt asked. I shrugged.

"I think so. I think it's all a matter of gut feeling."

"Alright," Pidge nodded. "Let's find some water and try not to get killed."

I wondered if the other Tributes were experiencing the same problem. Of course they were, they were hiding out in a hot jungle full of insects and even a  _jaguar -_ was that thing still alive?! I hoped not. If it was, we'd encounter it on the path to the waterfall, and I didn't have the hydration nor the strength to outrun it again. This time for sure, I was going to become a meal. All I could do was wait it out, and be aware of our surroundings. Not only jaguars, but other animals could be here too. 

Lance yawned beside me as we hiked through the trees. Another cannon fired in the distance, and we all turned around sharply. Birds scattered from the trees, frantically trying to escape, as the noise rattled the entire arena. None of us made a sound, but I think we were all thanking our lucky stars that the cannon wasn't for any of us. Nyma was already dead, and even _I_ found that hard to believe. After a small hush, we continued our journey, my throat becoming drier by the second.

I stopped to adjust the belt around my waist so I wouldn't get any blisters. It'd already began to chafe and the material of the suit wasn't making it feel any better, my skin underneath was sensitive and sore. I thought about ditching the belt altogether, but then I'd have no free hands. My eyes remained on Pidge so I knew where she was heading so I could catch up, but to my surprise, Lance stopped and waited, leaning against his trident. I didn't need his sympathy. He'd rather be with Pidge.

However, something caught my eye. And this time, it wasn't the gentle gaze Lance was giving me - in front of Pidge, there was a small, glass-like ripple, making the tree trunks sway. I narrowed my eyes to get a better look. Just like a heatwave, it was causing ripple effects in the air, but the jungle was too humid to cause a heatwave. Lance's grimace changed as he turned his head to see what I was staring at. Whatever it was, Pidge was getting closer, and instantly, Matt raced forward, his arm outstretched. 

_"Katie! No!!"_

And as his voice echoed through the air, Pidge was flung backwards while sparks of electricity rained around her, scattering menacingly on the jungle floor. Her body hit the ground with a sickening  _thud_ and I ran over to see what'd happened. She wasn't moving. Her eyes were closed. Matt knelt down, his hand quivering upon her cheek. The scared red flashing from his pulse record reflected off her stained glasses and mine began to react, too - until we were all sat around her, listening for a breath, a pulse, checking the glass in her wrist, anything. Lance was completely still with terror.

"Katie?" Matt quaked, reaching for her pulse record. The 'glass' causing the trunks to sway became exposed like wallpaper off a brick wall. Just like that, they vanished. Still not a single sound from Pidge. 

Her body didn't make a single movement. Without knowledge of the barrier she'd walked into, it wasn't possible to find out what happened to her. But as Matt scrubbed the dirt to see her heart rate, I kept my eyes on Lance, realising the cause for his sudden silence. He was staying still to listen for the cannon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mat T DO SOMETHIGNN


	27. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Pidge okay?

Matt's voice cracked as his eyes welled up with tears. We didn't know what to do. Not only that, but Lance was sat there as if it didn't concern him, and that made me furious. All of our pulse records were flashing furiously, our hands trying to find the source of her unconsciousness, our breathing ragged. Matt put his ear against his sisters mouth and his pulse  _skyrocketed_.

"She's not breathing!" he choked. My head shot up. "She's not breathing, I can't find a pulse, her record isn't responding!"

"What are we going to -"

Lance pushed forward and gave her chest a couple of hard pumps, his eyes stern and determined. Matt and I sat back with our hands feeling our hearts as they hammered against our chests in fear; we couldn't lose Pidge. She was such a valuable asset to our team. The cannon hadn't gone off. At least I hoped so. Tears streamed down Matt's face which surprised me, as he always seemed stronger than me, though it was just yesterday he was telling me how proud he was of his sister. Something spiteful stirred in me as Lance gave her mouth-to-mouth.

She had parents at home.

"Come on, Katie," Lance panted, his voice quivering. Matt's hands were quaking. I was terrified for him. 

However, as Lance's hands pumped harder, sweat pouring down his face from the humidity of the jungle and the stress of the situation, his breaths getting shallower by the second, Pidge let out a strangled gasp, her eyelids snapping open. Matt rushed forward, propping his sister up to a sitting position, and giving her a close hug. Lance sat back near me. I avoided his gaze.

"You idiot," Matt breathed, while his sister caught her breath. "You died, Katie! I thought I was going to go home and tell mom I didn't have a sister any more!"

Pidge looked startled, to say the least. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around her brother as he sobbed, mouthing "thank you" to Lance. He shook his head and shrugged with a smile, as if to say "no problem."

"Thank you, Lance," Matt wiped his cheeks and helped his sister onto her feet. "We power the forcefields to protect the arena, Pidge, how did you forget?"

"Couldn't see them," she wiped her glasses and coughed. "I'm sorry I died."

I let out a small smirk. It sounded so funny coming from her. It was like it had happened to her before.

She did work at a power plant. Perhaps it had.

"Let's take a different direction," Matt announced. "We'll have to let Keith retrace his steps."

Matt remained with his sister, keeping his hand on the small of her back to prevent her from getting injured again, walking on her left side to shield her from the forcefield. Lance wore a proud smile all the way, and I hated it. It just fed his ego even more. His stupid, blown-up ego, fed by his good looks, his adorable laugh, his bright eyes, his charming smile -

"Since when did you know CPR?" I asked. We were lagging behind the siblings a couple of metres away, but it was about time we had some peace and quiet between Lance and I.

"I live at a District with a large area of water, people are bound to drown," he chuckled. "Why?"

"Because it was sudden. It was as if you didn't want to take notice and  _suddenly_ you got involved because it was Pidge."

"Because it was Pidge?" he frowned, stopping in his tracks to face me. "Wait, you think I only performed CPR to  _kiss_ her?"

"You were flirting with her before the Games!" I yelled. "What the fuck else!"

Lance's face turned dark. He swept his trident from his shoulder and placed the tip of the blade against my neck, backing me up into the nearest tree. I always forget that he was significantly taller. It was intimidating. His blue eyes cast over like a raging storm, the metal point protruding my skin as I craned my neck up, forcing me to look at him. I really had gone over the line. He could kill me. He could actually kill me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Lance hissed. "It's not like it matters, you've never caught feelings for me, have you? Of course not.  _Shiro's_ always your excuse, isn't he? Would Shiro mind if I killed you?"

I swallowed hard. "I don't think he would. At all. I'd rather you kill me than anyone else."

And for once, I truly saw him crumble in front of my eyes. His hand slammed against the tree above my head, the other clenching around the trident as if he really was going to murder me. He was strong enough. It wouldn't even last long. Quick and almost painless.

"Do it," I grinned, holding my hands up, sweat pouring down my head. "Do it, Lance."

He was an Omega in heat, after all. He depended on an Alpha more than anything else right now. Through seething teeth, his muscles relaxed, but the weapon still didn't leave my neck. I still wore a shit-eating grin, knowing he was too pussy.

"You can't, can you?" I chuckled, my voice quivering, my gaze flitting from his lips to his eyes. "You need me, right? You're an Omega, Lance, you couldn't hurt a fly."

Then, he lowered his trident, and I let out a small sigh of relief. I'd actually put my life on the line,  _again_ , and dared him to murder me. I knew he couldn't from the start. But my words didn't stop him from slapping me across the cheek,  _hard_ , leaving a sting so bad it made my eyes water. His eyes pierced into mine. I raised my hand to my cheek, glaring at him.

"What the fuck?" I whimpered. Lance balanced his trident on the back of his shoulders again, staring at me in silence. "What was that for?"

"What do you think, _sweetheart?"_ he gritted. "Come on. We need to catch up with the siblings to find that  _waterfall_ you're going on about."

"I'm not lying! I saw it!" I stressed, rubbing my cheek. "I almost got killed there!"

"Sure you did," Lance rolled his eyes, ignoring my gaze. He seemed hurt. "Hurry up, ponytail."

 _Ponytail._ What a shit pet name. 

We began walking, our feet breaking twigs as they touched the floor, before realising we had no idea where the siblings went. I groaned. This was all Lance's fault - he was the one that pushed me up against the tree and threatened me with his stupid trident. After wandering around absentmindedly, in pure silence, we gave up. It was hopeless. We'd lost our only allies and now we were going to die.

"This is your fault," I muttered. "We're going to die of dehydration or someone's going to come and kill us."

"Good for you, then, you're the one that wants to die," Lance scoffed. "I can't believe you thought that."

I pouted at him. I hated him. I wished I'd kill him first but then again, I knew Pidge wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him. He was so confident, too, and as much as I wanted to burst his bubble, he had a family back home. A proper family. One to bake cookies with and spend time with by the fire. He sings to his siblings to help them sleep.

He sang to  _me._

"Wait a minute," Lance laughed. "Jealousy, thy name is Keith."

I hit him in the arm. "I'm not jealous! Fuck off!"

"Whatever, ponytail," he winked. "You're jealous because I'm warming up to Pidge and not you."

"You're not," I pouted. "You warmed up to  _me_ in the Tribute quarters. You asked me to fuck you when you were drunk."

After that, Lance didn't say a single word, and I was grinning the entire time. Finally, I'd manage to make him shut up, and I didn't have to use brute force. That night was a total mess, but I'd used it to gain his trust. Was I gaining his trust now, after asking for it last night? No. As soon as I realised that, my mood sank. We held hands last night; that was probably the closest I was ever going to get to being in contact with him. I even apologised. It all seemed like nothing now that I'd accused him of liking Pidge.

With my newfound realisation, I was stifled with his silence. An apology wouldn't work any more. I just wanted to find the siblings and finally get that water. Was death a better option than feeling so much regret? It probably was, from my perspective. Anything was better than this.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Lance sighed heavily.

"Again?" he groaned. "You can't fix everything with an apology, Keith."

He didn't know, but I was glaring at him with desperation pooling in my eyes. "I mean it."

"You always mean it."

That was it. I'd fucked up this time. If I hadn't messed every other situation up, we would have been fine right now. Last night didn't even occur to me any more, nor Lance. Tears made my vision blurry as his pace quickened. Now he didn't even want me around. I kept behind him, watching his trident sparkle in the sun, silently wiping my wet cheeks. I hated myself. If I was anything but an Alpha he'd forgive me, but it wasn't how it was working now. I wasn't one for physical touch either, unless it was Lance.

_Unless it was Lance._

I couldn't arrange my feelings properly and I loathed it. I didn't know how or what to feel. I just stared at his smooth, chocolate locks, his honey skin, and the way the blue of his suit caught the sun. It wasn't fair. All I wanted to do was reach out to him and make him forgive me, but it was already too late. Occasionally, he'd turn his head, and his sickeningly beautiful blue eyes would glint like stars. From then on, as we walked, tears were streaming painfully down my cheeks. I couldn't have him. I'd done too much. I didn't know how to organise my feelings and now I'd spiralled down into despair.

I _was_ selfish. Spiteful. He deserved so much better than someone who got jealous, who punched him time and time again, who dismissed him as if he was nothing, who ignored him for several days, who told him to leave when he was only trying to help. I couldn't believe he was still laughing and smiling after all that. Every time I looked up I saw that deep, disgusting, cobalt blue that reminded me of him. It was horrible. Sickening.

I loved the colour on him too much to let it go. To let  _him_ go.

I wiped my cheeks again and sniffed quietly. I couldn't let him see me like this after what happened. Once my eyes had cleared up, I lightly jogged to his side and walked with him in silence. I craved contact. But not just from anyone.

"You sure you know where this thing is?" he asked, his voice sounding like birdsong. The hard lump formed in my throat again.

"Yeah," I swallowed, noticing a couple of drops of blood on the leaves we passed. It seemed to be everywhere. "I think someone got killed here."

"You think?" he smirked. "Why is there so much blood?"

"A jaguar has the strength to crush a human skull," I muttered. Lance froze.

"Are you saying -"

"The waterfall's over there," I muttered, pointing towards it. He left instantly, running over to the cool, flowing water to dip his hands in. Still no sign of the siblings. I reached for a knife, ready to kill anything that advanced towards him. If I couldn't have him, I wasn't going to let anyone else discard him as if he was nothing. While he splashed his face and drank from his cupped palms, I leaned against a tree, trying my best to swallow the painful lump in my throat. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

If I couldn't apologise, what could I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what could he do?
> 
> also hi i drew lance w his badass trident and you can find it by clicking [here](https://pixelpearl.tumblr.com/post/164453376393/lance-with-his-trident-ive-been-wanting-to-draw)!!
> 
> also! bonus chapters are returning woohoo! please comment the letter to cast your vote and whichever scenario gets the most votes, i'll write about it. if you have any other situations youd like to read about, let me know!  
> a) lances pov, starting from "you always mean it" (or if youd like a different starter, please say!).  
> b) shiros pov, where hed be standing where the gamemakers are, watching the cameras and controlling the arena.  
> c) pidge's/matt's pov, either from their home life to the arena, or just the arena. (you choose!)
> 
> this is for reaching 250+ kudos and almost 3500 hits! thank you all so much ahh <3


	28. [BONUS] Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being rescued, Lance has his doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Lance's turn to tell the story.
> 
> (thank you all so much for 250+ kudos and 3500+ hits!)

It was Nyma's fault for wielding a trident incorrectly when she knew, from the bottom of her heart, that she wasn't strong enough. Despite slicing my left arm and leg, near-missing my neck, she managed to gain enough momentum to slice open the jugular vein in her neck which saved me. I would have been a goner if it wasn't for her clumsiness, but as soon as her body hit the floor and the cannon sounded, I knew I was going to die of blood loss soon after. Even though my injuries weren't that deep, I was in excruciating pain. It not only seared through my arm, but spread like wildfire, shooting up my spine like lightning. Knowing I wouldn't make it, I took cover behind the nearest bush.

I shook with hormones. A heat had never been this bad for me. I hoped that, along with the scent blocker being activated, it'd stop my heat from coming, too. However, once I saw Keith running towards me earlier, I had to escape. He'd hurt me once and I couldn't afford to be vulnerable in front of him again. If it was different, if  _I'd_ have been different, I would have approached him. Now, I was an aroused, helpless mess, dying on the jungle floor, whimpering like a kicked puppy. I just wanted someone to come over and kill me first. All I had in my backpack was a metal container for water, rope, a few fasteners, and a net. Nothing useful.

My family would be watching me, all the way from Four. I bet I looked so pathetic, with my hands covering my wounds, my fingers quivering and bloodstained. I was looking for some sort of miracle, but I knew this was all my fault - I would have been okay if I'd have allied with the Holt siblings, but I didn't even know if they wanted me on their side. Nobody seemed to want me on my side. Not even Keith; he didn't talk to me for days. I'd lost all hope after that.

I shifted into a different position, peeling away the torn pieces of my suit, my hands quaking against my wounds. If I didn't die of blood loss, I'd die from dehydration. Or blood poisoning. I didn't know which one was worse, but all I hoped for was death to be quick. Getting punched in the nose was nothing compared to this. I'd forgiven Keith for everything he'd done, but somehow, he was both selfish and a hypocrite. He'd come to me and apologise from time to time, and other times he'd be a friend. I gave up dealing with him after he stopped talking to me without a reason why.

Suddenly, as I gave up hope altogether, I heard footsteps thundering against the jungle floor, twigs and branches crackling under their feet. My head shot up, bracing imminent death; I crouched tighter, my heart thumping hard in my chest. My whimpers didn't cease because the jungle was hot: the salt from my sweat kept dripping into my wounds, making a horrible sting. My eyes welled up. I couldn't take the pain any more. Whoever was going to attack me, I hoped they killed me quickly.

The bush I was hiding behind was torn back, a knife thrown in my face as I sobbed, but the person threatening me with such a weapon wasn't someone I hoped it'd be. With my heat heightening my sense of smell, I was immediately triggered by Keith's Alpha scent, and I scrambled back quickly. I couldn't be near him. He'd attack me, or become violent, and I  _knew_ he'd become violent, why couldn't he just  _kill me --_

"Lance," he breathed, dropping his knife. His amethyst eyes seemed way too soft and it only reminded me of the calm before the storm. If it weren't for my heat, I'd be thankful,  _grateful_ , even - I wouldn't be escaping from him like a scared child, but there I was, listening to him say my name.

"No, no," I panted, flinching when he came near. Why did he have to be an Alpha, of all things. Our relationship in the past was going to be difficult to remember if he was going to be possessive, and violent; but when I was upset, he comforted me. That was one time I only truly remembered. I couldn't process my thoughts correctly due to my heat, which I loathed. "You can't be. Not you. Anyone but you -"

With pain in his eyes, he tucked his knife back in its holster. Guilt festered in his deep, purple gaze as he hushed me, carefully stepping over the bush. It was almost as if he was apologetic for his past, and for once, I believed him - until he reached out an arm and I flinched. That was Omega instinct - I wasn't used to being around Alphas, but at the same time, I was somewhat terrified of them. Painful tears made the grazes on my cheeks sting.

"I'm not going to hurt you -"

"You're an Alpha," I breathed. "No wonder you gave me a fucking nosebleed, Keith! All you care about is yourself -!"

Keith was selfish. A horrible, spiteful kind of selfish, and I regretted all kinds of feelings I had for him now that he was an Alpha. How was I going to approach him while I was vulnerable? Maybe if my heat got suppressed, I'd be able to be my usual self around him, but now, every single negative thought was surfacing. And he was either going to hit me, apologise, or comfort me.

"Lance, I'm sorry, listen," Keith whispered, timidly outstretching his hand. I bit my lip, cautiously glaring at his gloved hands. He had a bandage on one shoulder; who, or what hurt him? "Trust me, I'm not going to hurt you."

As an Omega, reassurance was important. Praise was important. He looked at me with as much honest remorse as possible and I felt my heart singing for him again, just like it did when he comforted me that night. My tears ceased. I could trust Keith. I had to, after all, if we were going to ally with one another. So far, he hadn't attacked me, or  _worse_ , since I was in heat. He was managing his urges extremely well, which impressed me. I couldn't help but notice that he cared just enough to assist me. Keith  _cared_. He actually cared.

"Promise me," I quivered, slowly touching his fingertips, looking at him with anxiousness in my eyes. He appeared as if he felt the same.

"You're wounded," he gasped, slowly reaching down to stretch out my leg. "I promise."

I cried out in pain as his fingers flitted past the bleeding wound in my thigh, timidly whimpering under his touch. There was a chance that he  _was_ a caring Alpha, but my mother would always remind me about violence, dominance, non-consensual sex, bond-bites; it all scared me. And being with Keith, who put up fights with me in the past, didn't help.

"Are you..." he muttered, picking up my backpack and the trident Nyma dropped. He didn't seem to notice her body, though it was concealed by a few large leaves. "You're in heat, aren't you?"

My eyes widened. If he knew the answer (he could probably pick up my scent anyway), would it affect how he saw me? Would he take advantage of it and use it against me? I didn't want to be forced into anything, especially since I trusted Keith before the Games. If he could be this kind and caring throughout, then perhaps I could trust him again. I nodded shakily.

"I'm sorry," Keith sighed, sliding my backpack on, and slipping the trident in between the straps. "Could you cover your neck?"

Timidly, I placed a shaking hand over the gland in my neck. I wanted to apologise for making him go through this, but he was  _helping_. I wanted to thank him in so many different ways than just one; I didn't ask to kiss him when I was drunk for nothing.

Keith never brought that up. He probably thought it was lust.

"I'm going to have to carry you, is that okay?"

I nodded. "Where are we going?"

He knelt down. "Matt and Pidge have a base set up -"

Immediately, I lunged forward and secured my arms around his waist, holding him close, while my nose found his bandaged shoulder. Despite all this - the Games, the fighting, the rivalry, the insults,  _I hated him_ \- he controlled his urges enough to assist an Omega in need. That alone caused the tears to flood. When he held me back just as tight, rubbing my back for comfort, it was if he realised how much of a dick he'd been.

"Fuck you," I hiccuped. I was in too much pain, and felt too much, to say anything comprehensible. I just acknowledged the fact that he'd rescued me from the brink of death, and hadn't come here sooner. If only he'd expressed this much compassion before the Games. "Fuck you, Keith."

"I know," he whispered, his fingers trailing through my damp hair. I quivered with the amount of hormones rushing through my tired brain and bloodstream. "Shh, I know. I'm a terrible person."

He'd admitted it. He'd taken the words straight from my mind but I still felt something for him. All it was going to take was a little bit of trust. If he could earn my trust, I'd give him a chance. Right now, I just relished the feeling of his warm, strong arms holding me, his fingers brushing my hair, and the way his scent wafted up my nose. It wasn't helpful for my heat, but I still adored it. It reminded me of the cologne he was wearing at the dance. Like fire, embers, cinnamon spice, everything and anything red. 

"I'm sorry." Keith whispered. At that moment, I relaxed into his neck. He'd recognised his wrongdoings and he was set on putting them right. At least I hoped so, anyway. "Come on, let's get you clean and bandaged, okay?"

He pulled me up with his strong arms while I felt my eyelids droop. I didn't get a lot of sleep before the Games started, and my heat was draining every ounce of energy out of me. I wanted to say how proud I was of him for controlling himself. My mother had given me such a false outlook on Alphas since Keith had been so kind. I gazed up at him as we travelled through the jungle in blissful silence.

"Who wounded you?" he asked.

"Nyma," I sniffed. "The cannon went off because she managed to miss me with the trident and hit herself in the neck instead."

His gorgeous, grey-purple eyes gazed upon me in sheer awe. His expression showed just how proud and thankful he was of me, despite me doing nothing at all. I wanted to thank him with every ounce of me.

"I'm so happy you're alive," he whispered.

I hid the small smile widening my lips. He really did care. About  _me_ , of all people. Trust was going to be something we'd move onto next, and if I was going to maintain my relationship with him, I wanted to try my best. I wanted to be friends.  _More_ than friends. Alphas weren't so bad, after all. Keith had saved me, and instantly, I knew I had to repay him.

* * *

"You always mean it," I replied, spite stirring in my stomach. 

Keith lagged behind as I walked ahead. I still stank of the hormone suppressant and the hot feeling of the hormone in my pulse record still flooded through my veins. I couldn't believe he could be so selfish. This wasn't going to work if he didn't make an effort to gain my trust; and apologies don't fix everything. He'd have to do better if he wanted me to pay any more attention to him.

I liked Pidge. She was a wonderful person and despite my sudden fear-induced stillness, when she fell unconscious due to electrocution, I would have missed her dearly if she passed away. Not only me, but her brother also held her close to his heart, so I had to make an effort to save her. I just couldn't believe how envious Keith had been. Did he care about my lips touching hers, than her own death? I didn't care about the remorse he felt. One more bad instance from him and I wasn't going to associate with him.

It was going to hurt, and as much as I liked him, which was  _a lot_ , my mother had always warned me about possessive Alphas. He'd fought with Matt this morning about me. And God, how I wanted to forgive him; I hated the sad, puppy-look in his eyes when he said he was sorry. I'd give him a chance some other time when I wasn't so pissed off.

After all, he saved my life. He was glad to see me alive, too. He wouldn't have made the effort to come and find me if he didn't care. I said he didn't have feelings for me just so I'd get used to the pain of unrequited love, but he wasn't allowed a mate or a friend anyway. With that emotional pain already festering within my melancholy heart, any kind of compassionate advance from him made me doubt it.

He made the effort to come and save my life. He was  _jealous_ that I was conversing with Pidge. And most of all, with him silently sniffing behind me, if he was genuinely upset about fucking up, did he have feelings for me? Strong feelings? Or was it because it was his duty as an Alpha?

Whatever it was, I didn't know how to feel. I was stuck in a love limbo, a liminal space between loving him and loathing him. 

I had to give him a chance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these boys i stg


	29. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They should have caught up to the siblings.

I'd realised I'd taken clean water for granted when I took a sip of the stream Lance was wading in. He took advantage of the flowing waterfall and stood underneath it, washing away all the blood and sweat from his body. I wanted to join him and finally get all the grime off my skin, but knowing I'd just messed everything up, he probably didn't want to go near me. With the lack of the Holt siblings, I wasn't confident enough to survive on my own. We could either wait until they came back, or go and explore to try and find them. Either of them had the same risk of death, but anything in the Games could be deadly, anyway. Once I'd had my fill of the water, I walked over to see Lance, even if he didn't enjoy my company right now.

"Why don't you join me, ponytail?" he grinned, pushing his fingers through wet hair.

"Because I hate getting wet, especially in the jungle," I folded my arms. "And you don't like me."

"Since when did I say I didn't like you?" he frowned, stepping out of the water, splashing me in the face.

"Hey!" I yelped, shoving him into the waterfall. "Are you admitting to liking me then?"

"Let's see how you go, princess," he snorted. We shoved each other underneath the water for a good ten minutes until we were both completely sodden and dripping wet; Lance's giggles filled the air as we both pawed at each other, pushing elbows and knees into each other's bodies. I'd missed this kind of stupid rivalry we had, and to be honest, I'd rather have that than having to walk in silence with him.

"Don't call me princess!" I pouted. "I'm an Alpha! You're the princess."

"Nah, I'm the cool guy with the trident."

I sulked when we got out of the water. The humidity of the jungle clinging to my wet skin felt disgusting, but at least I'd managed to wash off the layer of grime, and I'd had a little fun with Lance, too. All we had to do now was find the siblings, get dry, and eat. Matt had the fish in his backpack.

"Should we stay here or look for the siblings?" Lance asked. I almost gaped at the sight of him. The suit was soaked, and stuck to his skin, accentuating every little contour and sculpted ridge of muscle he had hiding underneath. It wasn't fair. I hated being near him.

"I'm thinking the second choice," I replied. "Only if you're, y'know, okay with me walking with you."

The sympathy that washed over Lance's face surprised me. I wasn't sure if he was comfortable having me around any more, because I was so self-absorbed, spiteful, and jealous. He was an Omega, it was bound to happen. I'd gotten so used to being around his pheromones, picking up the scent from his heat, that I'd actually felt myself fall harder for him.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked, in the softest, most caring voice. "I don't hate you."

I bit my lip, staring at the floor. "It feels like you do. And you don't accept my apologies any more, so it's not like I can do anything about it."

"Look, we need to move otherwise we'll get found out," he said, and we began walking in a different direction. "But I know you've been violent in the past. You gave me a nosebleed."

I didn't want to remember that. "I know," I murmured, slicing down vines. At least I was having a civil conversation with him, right?

Right.

We continued travelling through the dense jungle, our thirst quenched, swiping at stray vines and branches with our weapons, being extremely careful not to hurt one another. I didn't feel quite comfortable next to Lance, but I had enough decency in me to tolerate his presence. We had each other's backs; if anything happened to him, I'd blame it all on myself. There was no excuse for either of us being hurt, and I was sure he was taking care of me, too. I hoped he was.

Right when we were about to approach a clearing, a cannon fired in the distance. Lance let out a strangled gasp.

"That could be the siblings," he muttered. "Either of them."

"We'll just have to see when the fallen Tributes appear," I replied. Seeing the fear settle into his eyes only made my stomach stir; both Pidge and Matt were way too smart and tactical to die so soon. "I'm sure they're okay, Lance."

"You think so?" he sighed. I nodded.

Eventually, after listening out for another cannon just in case it _was_ both of the siblings, we trudged into the clearing with aching legs. What lay in the clearing, however, was a totally different ending to what I was expecting. It was a large, stone temple ruin, littered with vines and shrubbery. There was a large chance that we could find something useful in there, if another Tribute hadn't snagged it already.

"Let's take a look," I breathed, looking up at the temple in awe. Lance leaned against his trident, staring up at the top floor as I made my way around to the entrance. "Lance?"

"I don't trust it," he murmured. What a party-pooper.

"Come on!" I beckoned him over, gazing into the dark, misty abyss of the first room. Unlit torches decorated the sides. Green moss coated the floor like a natural blanket, smothering the temple in a much less ominous atmosphere. A staircase led deeper underground, and that's where I wanted to head first. It was so intriguing.

"Okay," Lance sighed, hoisting his trident over his shoulder and following me inside. "But if either of us get hurt, this is all your fault."

"What are you talking about?" I scoffed. "We'll be fine. Stop being a baby."

The concern on Lance's face disappeared as we descended into the depths of the temple. My heart raced with anticipation, because I _knew_ this was a thrill I'd never get to experience again, even if I didn't make it out alive. I'd never done something like this before, and even if Lance didn't trust it, I did. If that was going to kill me, then I accepted my stupid fate, and kept walking down the stairs until we reached the bottom.

"Whoa," Lance gasped. In the middle of the room, there was a backpack placed on a pedestal, surrounded by all kinds of useful bounty like fresh fruit, bottles of water, and small daggers. Slit-like windows lined the walls near the ceiling, allowing a little bit of sunlight to pour through. Ancient Altean markings riddled the walls and floor as we stepped in, our eyes glued to the bag in the middle.

"Do we get it?" Lance whispered. "It looks so enticing, and the siblings have our backpacks right now."

"If it means fresh fruit and water," I shrugged. "Then let's go for it."

It was ominous. The air was thick with tension. It was silent enough for to hear Lance's ragged, hot breath on the back of my neck, which made me shiver. He shouldn't have that kind of effect on me, but I wasn't going to stop him. Having him close made me feel safe; he was taller, so of course he felt like my bodyguard. I thought he was stronger than me, too. Upon stepping into the room, a door slowly slid closed behind us.

Lance turned sharply. He swallowed hard, anxiousness causing sweat to bead upon his forehead. That was it. If anything bad was going to happen, we didn't have an escape route. We couldn't get out. We couldn't shout for the siblings, either. We were going to die in there.

"Keith!" Lance hissed. "What are we going to do?!"

"Stay calm," I breathed, trying to open the door that closed so suspiciously on us. I tried to slide it back open, with Lance dashing around the room to try and find a way to escape. I knew his heart was pounding as much as mine was, because the fear made the blood drain from my face. Any attempts at trailing my fingers across the door to find loose rock were futile. I'd killed us. Lance was going to hate me, if we got out alive. He warned me before even coming in.

"I can't find anything to get out with," he whimpered. "Keith, I warned you."

"I'm sorry -"

"What is apologising going to do about us being stuck!" he yelled, his voice echoing through the chambers of the temple. The way he snapped caused me to back myself up against the wall.  So much for making everything right. His eyes fell on my petrified gaze, and suddenly, his rage dissipated. "Keith, I'm sorry. I did tell you."

"I know," I muttered. "I fucked up. Again. What's the use of me even being here?"

I approached the backpack in the middle to peek at what could have been ours if we made it out while Lance picked up the fruit. Despair swallowed me whole like an endless void, engulfing me into sadness. I was going to spend my last hours with Lance ignoring me.

"Look at this," he grinned, picking up a bottle of water. "This looks so tempting."

"We've just drank from the stream," I rolled my eyes. There were more weapons inside the bag. If only I'd have found the traps and not gone in blindly. "We might as well take advantage of it all, right?"

As soon as I lifted the backpack, the pedestal holding it creaked and groaned, and suddenly, Lance's sarcastic grin turned into a face of pure fear. I watched as the stone altar disappeared into the ground. What had I done.

"What did that do?" Lance whispered. "Keith, I swear -"

The walls scraped across the floor as they closed in on us, centimetres at a time, excruciatingly slowly. With my pulse record flashing like a siren I raced over to the wall nearest to me, attempting to push it back, with Lance's desperate tries on the opposite wall turned out to be futile. We were going to be crushed to death. Lance's trident made a horrible clinging noise as it hit the floor.

"I told you!" he yelled, the entire temple trembling as we were pushed involuntarily towards one another. "I told you, Keith!"

"I never meant for us to die!" I shouted. "I'm sorry! You won't believe me, but I'm fucking sorry!"

He frantically called for the siblings, scared tears streaming down his face as he dashed to the door and gave it a couple of hard hits. There was no way they could hear us. I felt sick with nervousness. Death was truly imminent and it was all my doing, because I didn't listen to Lance, I didn't pay attention to my surroundings, and most of all, I gave into my temptations by heading for the bag. My eyes welled up with tears knowing I was never going to make it home, and my father was watching me dying slowly with a tanned boy from District Four who clearly knew better than his son. Lance had an even bigger family that was going to miss him the most. I didn't bear to watch as his fingers trembled against the moving wall.

"Lance, I'm sorry," I cried, using all my strength and stamina to push it with my back, my heels hopelessly digging into the floor. I was going to die with Lance feeling hatred for me. "I'm sorry I even thought about going here."

The walls kept sliding towards one another, and soon enough, Lance and I were being coaxed towards one another, his eyes piercing through mine as the blue from his eyes was drained with tears. I regret so much. I had so much to tell him and -

"Keith," he quivered. The walls were slow enough to make us scared, slow enough for his body to gently push against mine. If they went any faster, we'd be dead by now. "Keith, if we die, I want you to know- "

Our arms wrapped around one another in panic as we were enclosed in a tight space, his breath hitching against my forehead as he cried.

"What?" I sniffed, helplessly looking into his terrified eyes. "Lance, what is it?'

I buried my face into his chest as we were pushed closer to each other. This was such a terrible time to confess and I still felt way too unorganised about my feelings. He clutched me closer to him, his warmth enveloping me for the final time.

"Keith," he wept. "I- "

I held him tighter when I felt myself getting forced into him. I just wanted to hear what he had to say as I cried into his chest. How sickeningly ironic for us to be this gentle with each other during our last moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what would Lance have said?


	30. Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's probably a miracle.

I felt his heart thumping against my cheek as he held me. The stone walls were getting excruciatingly closer that I'd actually began to embrace the feeling of death; my father was watching, Shiro was watching, and this was all my fault, because I didn't listen to Lance and decided to head right into the room with a backpack placed on an altar, thinking it wouldn't be harmful. And there we were now, sobbing into each other, waiting to get crushed. It was getting claustrophobic and due to the lack of air, Lance didn't even bother confessing any more.

Moving was impossible now. Any attempts at trying to push the walls were futile, and the tears falling from Lance's cheeks were soon dripping onto mine, when suddenly, the walls closing in on us stopped.

I looked up at Lance, who desperately whipped his head around trying to find the source of what happened, before gasping and pointing to something on the floor. His trident was holding the walls open, far enough for us both to wiggle through. We had no time to waste - I snatched the backpack from the floor and dashed over to the stone door that kept us locked in.

"Whatever you do, don't pick up the trident," I breathed, scraping my fingernails raw against the stone. I ended up having to use a couple of small daggers to pry away the concrete that held them together; it was a tedious process, and I had to keep my eye on Lance all the time, just in case the walls activated again. The trident must have been made with something unbelievably strong, because we'd be crushed by now. As panic surged through my veins, I managed to stab open a hole in the door, which made my face drain with relief.

"Keith, come on!" Lance quivered. He sounded so distant and I wanted to get us out of there more than anything. "I don't know whether the trident can hold!"

"I'm trying!" I panicked, my fingers bloodstained as I clawed, pushed and pulled the brick out of place, kicking it with my feet, shoving my knees into it, until I was so sore, I thought I'd broken something. In the end, this was going to keep us alive. That motivation enabled me to keep going, and with Lance holding the trident in place in the middle of the room, I knew I had to save him too. I got us into this mess, after all.

Instantly, the last shove with my shoulder sent the rest of the bricks tumbling into the staircase. Quickly, I began stacking them towards the ceiling, acting like a bar to keep the walls open while I outstretched my hand to pull Lance out of the way. The walls began trembling again once he'd left his post.

"Come on! Grab my hand!" I yelled, my pulse record flashing an angry red, beeping as if it'd never been activated before. With trembling hands, Lance pulled his trident free and made a break for it. I kept my hand open, my heart racing, watching him make his way over as the walls closed in. The brick wasn't going to hold.

"Lance!" I cried. "Hurry!"

I couldn't lose him. Not to this. I couldn't watch him die like this.

To my luck, he lunged forward and clutched my hand, and I began pulling him into the dark staircase that started this mess. However, since the bricks holding the walls open were shattering, he tripped and fell forward. I gritted my teeth and yanked him closer, his legs scrambling for dear life as we toppled over one another on the cold, concrete stairs. The walls slammed shut. The brick shattered into pieces. I let go of Lance's hand and we both stared at each other for a little while, before bursting into relieved tears.

"You did it!" Lance panted. I'd saved us, despite getting us into that mess. Our hearts were racing, our breathing was shallow. We instantly wrapped our arms around one another, catching our breaths in the darkness of the stairwell, taking in the scent of moss and brick, as well as each other. His suppressant was dissipating, which means we'd have to find his siblings for that ointment. The ointment blocked the scent. The hormone in his wrist eliminated the heat symptoms.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, my bloody fingers trailing through his hair. "I'm so sorry, Lance, we could've -"

Lance let go and moved his quaking hands to my own, examining my broken fingernails, and the blood that'd seeped into my knuckles. I had painful grazes on my elbows as well as bruises on my knees; it didn't matter. We were safe now. I deserved all the pain after what I'd put Lance through. Concern filled his gaze as he glared with panic at my bloodstained fingers.

"Are you hurt?" his voice quivered. "Have you broken anything?!"

"I don't think so," I sniffed. He removed my gloves and tucked them under his sleeve, before examining them carefully. I couldn't believe what I'd done. Lance seemed to proud and relieved at the same time. I'd saved us with the cost of pain, but I didn't care. Lance was safe and that's all that mattered.

"When we get out, we'll bandage them, okay?" he breathed. "How do you feel?"

"Lance, I'm okay," I gave him a bashful grin. "I've had worse."

He delicately held my hands, his sapphire eyes worryingly gazing into mine. I still didn't know what he was going to say while we were on the brink of dying, and I wanted to get that out of him. It had to be important if he was confessing before death, to conceal his secret a little longer.

"You saved us," he whispered. "But don't ever do that again."

"I know," I sighed. "Can we go and find the siblings now?"

Lance nodded, giving me a final, grateful hug before we left the temple entirely.

"Thank you," he whispered.

The sun was dipping below the horizon as we walked out of the temple with our newly-acquired supplies and backpack. I had to save Lance, it was the most loving thing to do: he had a family, a better,  _bigger_ family than I did, and I couldn't let them see him get crushed on television.  _I_ didn't want to witness it either, which is why I had to get him out of there, despite my sore limbs and bleeding fingers. We decided to head back down to the beach; we had no clue as to where the Holt siblings had gone, and our fears of them being killed heightened as the jungle felt empty the more we explored.

"Lance," I began, taking a right to head straight to the shore. "What were you going to say to me back in the ruins?"

"I didn't say anything," he murmured, pushing a bush out of his way. Liar.

"You did," I frowned. "You sounded like you were about to confess."

"I did?" Lance faked a questioning tone. I wasn't going to get it out of him at all. "Must've been the heat of the moment."

"I think  _you_ were in the heat of the moment," I smirked.

"Is that an Omega joke?" he snorted. "That's so mean."

A fearful moment was all it took for us to become closer. It felt like our relationship was slowly growing back into the one we had before the Games; I thought our secondary genders played a role, because Lance was apprehensive at the knowledge of me being an Alpha. I had to be a good Alpha and grow out of my possessive tendencies. I had to be more protective, and since I'd just saved Lance's life, I was high off an endorphin rush and anything I could do for him made me happy.

"How is your heat?" I asked. "Can I do anything for you?"

"I'm okay, I think," Lance stepped onto the sand, and the sudden warmth felt heavenly against our damp suits. "I might need that ointment, though. Your scent is really appealing."

"It is?" I blushed, raising a hand to the gland in my neck. "I didn't realise."

Lance shrugged. "I was pressed up against you in the temple, so no wonder."

I pouted. It was as if that hug never happened. The fallen Tributes were going to flash up in the sky soon, , so we kept walking around the beach until we reached the other side, and there they were. Not only did they both look concerned, but Pidge was having trouble setting up a fire. My heart sank in relief. Both of them were truly alive and well, but I didn't want to hear the tone of sympathy in their voices when they saw my hands. Where had they gone? Why didn't they come back for us?

As soon as Pidge lifted her head, she was sprinting across the sand to come and see us. Lance and I raced across, our fear-induced rush of adrenaline still pumping through our veins, our feet kicking up sand into the dense air. Her arms quickly drew us in, and the panic within her voice was threatening. The guilt in my heart was unbearable. She seemed so worried.

"Where were you!?" she cried. Lance's body pressed up against mine for the umpteenth time as she held us both close. I gave him an awkward apologetic smile.

"I accidentally -" I began. Lance interrupted me.

"I was fighting with Keith and it held us back. Then we found a temple and got stuck together," Lance gave Pidge a reassuring hug. He was getting in trouble for me, even though it was my absent mind we got into that mess. 

"A temple?" Pidge furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

"It was a temple with a stairwell leading into another room," I explained. "There was a backpack on a pedestal, but as soon as we reached for it, the walls started closing in. The door closed on its own."

Pidge grabbed my wrists and glared at my bloody fingers. Her hands quivered. "What's this?!"

"The forked end of my trident was thick enough to hold the walls open," Lance placed a hand on my shoulder. "He had to claw at the brick door with everything he had, and eventually, he saved us."

Pidge's hands clasped over her quivering lips. I hated seeing her worried, especially when it was both Lance and I. If we died, they'd have lost the other half of their alliance, which wasn't good at all. She seemed so relieved to see us alive. I was still on cloud nine after Lance acknowledged that I'd saved us both, and ignored the fact that it was my fault. Pidge grabbed my wrist and started pulling me towards her brother, and I clutched Lance's, dragging him along too. 

When we reached Matt, he looked so shocked and disappointed at the same time, that he just dropped everything he was holding and rushed to my side, staring at my hands. He fetched the bandages from Pidge's backpack and began wrapping them around my sore wrists. 

"You two are fucking ridiculous," he muttered. "What the fuck made you think that was a good idea? We heard a cannon go off! We thought one of you'd have died!"

"We're okay," Lance sighed. I removed the backpack we found at the ruins and placed it on the sand, watching him rifle through to find the bottles of water. While Matt made a fire, Pidge retrieved the fish we'd caught earlier that morning from his backpack. It had been a stressful, horrible day. I had to remind Pidge to get the ointment for Lance's scent - as much as I enjoyed being around him and his scent, being aroused during the Games wasn't going to help anybody.

Lance knelt down and I sat in front of him, taking my hands and gently washing away the blood. I kept my eyes on his all the time. The sudden care he gave me was completely contrary to the slap I received across the face. Even though it stung a little, and I exclaimed in pain with a small gasp, Lance was trying to be as gentle as possible.I couldn't ask for more.

"You could have just left me," he whispered, the orange light of the sunset accentuating his cheekbones. "I'm already hard work to take care of during a heat."

"What are you talking about?" I muttered. He dried off my fingers with a small scrunched-up bandage. "Lance, you're worth fighting for."

His gaze lifted to mine. "That sounds affectionate, coming from you."

I laughed a little bit, hitting him in the arm. "I saved your life, idiot!"

After ensuring my hands were clean, I reached for Pidge's backpack and found the tin containing the scent suppressant. Lance bared his neck for me, triggering a small release of pheromones, which hit my nose quicker than I thought. 

"Sorry," Lance whispered. "I didn't choose for this to happen, y'know."

"I know," I replied, gently smearing the substance over his neck, his eyes lidded and trusting, his gaze soft. I placed the lid back on and stuffed it back into the bag. After that, I sat there and watched as he dipped his feet in the water. We wore bodysuits, so it wasn't as if he could feel the rushing water against his skin. Knowing he was from Four, being close to the water reminded him of home.

The anthem echoed through the arena and we all lifted our heads to check the Tributes that had died that day. Lance returned to my side and sat down, sighing as Nyma's face appeared, along with her secondary gender, and her District. It was strange knowing that she was gone. Shivers ran down my spine; I'd been talking to her since the train ride, and after an accident with Lance's trident, she'd unintentionally killed herself.

"A Beta," Matt tapped his chin.

Up next was the Beta girl from One and the Omega boy from Six; Pidge had killed those two. A wicked grin appeared on her face. Lastly was the Beta boy from Ten. If Lance and I hadn't made it through the temple, our pictures would have been in the sky.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Matt announced. "But we still have five Alphas, five Betas, and six Omegas."

Lance nodded. "How many winners are allowed this year?"

"Four." Pidge murmured. "I assume it's because mates in the past tend to participate in polyamory. Otherwise someone wins and that's that."

"I don't think the Galra take mates seriously," I sighed. "So the rule seems pointless."

"Look, we have four of us. If we stick together, we'll all win," Lance smiled. "We just have to be careful."

Matt tended to the fish roasting over the fire while Lance shot me a quick wink. I rolled my eyes. I'd gotten used to him by now, but the wink was more encouraging than it was endearing. After eating and drinking, taking advantage of the fruit we'd gathered from the temple, we chose who was going to be the first one to keep watch.

"I will," Lance volunteered. He still had my gloves in his sleeve but I didn't have the heart to take them away. "I'm not tired at all."

"Lance," I frowned. "You're injured -"

" _You're_ injured, ponytail," he whispered. Matt and Pidge stomped out the fire. "Get some sleep."

Pidge thanked Lance for volunteering, and the siblings fell straight to sleep. I, however, couldn't. Lance was sat right there, his fingers tapping the handle of his trident, his eyes shining under the artificial moon. He'd done so much for me today, despite my wrongdoings. I'd almost gotten us killed, but now we were closer than ever, which humoured me. I wanted to thank him for cleaning my bloodstained fingers and offering comfort when I needed it.

"Lance," I whispered.

"Mm?" he looked down. "What's the problem?"

"Thank you," I sat up. "For cleaning off the blood and everything. Blood poisoning doesn't sound appealing."

He laughed quietly. "You saved my life for the second time, don't thank me. Get some rest, idiot."

"Am I less of a jerk?" I whispered. Lance nodded, wrapping his arm around me and giving my shoulder a brisk, comforting rub.

"You're definitely less of a jerk."

When I felt tired, I led down at his side, feeling slightly more secure. Finally, I wasn't so much of a selfish prick, and Lance could see through that. I was  _happy_ , all because I'd risked it all, saved his life, and ignored him when he said he didn't trust the temple. He noticed my eyes were still open when he turned to check on the siblings, and for the second time, he sang me to sleep without a single protest.

I had to get him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (slightly happier) soft boys


	31. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for more kills.

His scent reminded me of the candles my mother bought in different shades of blue to remind her of the sea, since we were so isolated from it, which was peculiar because the scent of the forest always surrounded us. Along with his gentle, honey skin and his weary, tired, intelligent blue eyes, his eyelashes fluttered delicately like the wings of a butterfly; he was gorgeous when he rose from slumber. A small limbo between being asleep and waking caused Lance to look prettier than usual.

But along with my sudden carefree attitude, I had my suspicions as well.

With my nose placed in his neck, I'd curled up to him during my slumber, and only now had I realised that I was close enough to witness his sleepy self. The scent of ashes filled my nose from last night. Pidge was giggling quietly behind me, her laughter stifled by her palm, while Lance looked at me with a grin.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," he muttered. "It looks like you got comfy there."

I knew that, from Shiro's perspective, he'd have me decked to the floor and shot for being so close to Lance, especially since our secondary genders were compatible, and I'd been in the presence of his scent for so long that staying away from him almost physically hurt. Considering we were participating in the Hunger Games, I guessed that was a bad thing. I couldn't tell Lance. At all. Knowing he had that burden and responsibility of keeping me sane when he left my side was something I couldn't just  _admit_.

I shuffled away from Lance, feeling my cheeks flame as I sat up and stretched. Pidge was in the middle of cleaning her bloody arrows while her brother counted and checked the contents of our backpacks, before throwing them back in and fastening them tightly. I was still trying to recollect my thoughts. I'd fallen asleep next to Lance; he sang to me. We almost died yesterday. We found the siblings.

"Today we're going to try and get some shots for ourselves," Matt grinned, strapping a dagger to his thigh. "Once Keith wakes up."

"Sorry," I yawned. Was it because I'd been so close to Lance's scent gland? It was suppressed, but if the hormone eliminating all of the other symptoms had dissipated, it seemed as if it needed reactivating. Lance laughed.

"Your ponytail is a mess," he snorted. I batted away his fussy hands and tried to fix it myself, but my hair was still partly damp. "Keith, let me do it."

I pouted like a five-year-old while his fingers trailed through my tousled hair, delicately pulling out the knots. Pidge stood up and tapped her foot impatiently. I got it, we had to leave, but I hated having my hair cling to my neck in a hot jungle. He grabbed the band I'd secured it with and quickly flung it up into a neat ponytail.

"How come you can do hair?" Pidge raised a brow. "You seem way too talented."

"I have sisters," Lance replied. Matt scoffed. Yeah, having a sister that killed innocent people was probably both a thrill and a threat. "So I help my mom with their hair."

"Give Keith a little braid," Matt grinned, crouching down to watch Lance do his work. I hated the fuss, but then again, if Lance could do this well, I relied on him to prevent that horrible, groggy, hot feeling on the back of my neck. Since I had an expertise in fighting with knives, long hair was going to get in the way. And as much as I loathed having any kind of 'beauty prep' after all of that ceremonial work, I didn't mind if it was someone I liked.

"No, I'm not  _that_ mean," Lance laughed, tucking a final strand behind my ear. "I'll give Pidge braids."

"To hell you are!" she snorted. "Come on, we have to win this. Stop stalling with your boyfriend's hair."

"He's not -!"

"Lance isn't -!"

Her gaze turned into an unimpressed one as she helped me to my feet. Lance brushed the sand away from the back of my thighs and rump before giving it a light squeeze.

"Quit it!" I hissed. "You don't have that kind of privilege."

"But you're an Alpha," he whined.

His hormones were definitely acting up. As soon as I'd calmed my flushing cheeks and eradicated any impure thoughts, I grabbed his wrist without hesitation and pressed the sliver of glass fixed to his wrist. He protested and tried to yank my hand away, but he had to realise that it was for his own good. I couldn't cope with pheromones making my mind heavy, even if it was Lance. There  _were_ two Alphas in this alliance and I didn't want to have to compete for unnecessary reasons. While Pidge and Matt slowly began making their way back into the jungle, Lance gave me a look full of hatred.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. "I'm only fucking with you."

"I think you'd rather be fucking with me than actually fucking me."

Lance gave me a knowing look, falling silent after that. We were in such an intense environment that helping out with his heat never crossed my mind, unless he had  _particular_ requests. If I had contact with his scent gland, I may as well have been marked by him.

Which meant, in turn, I was  _his_ Alpha. I wonder if he knew that. 

Travelling back into the jungle was like entering a sauna. Only, it's smothered in the scent of shrubbery, fruit, and perspiration, as well as sweat and grime we'd collected by being here. Death didn't seem so bad if we stank like this; at least Lance and I took advantage of the waterfall. We trudged through the leaves, our legs aching like all hell, before we finally heard some voices.

Pidge turned quickly, unsheathing an arrow and delicately placing it between her fingers. She'd killed four people so far, which was impressive, but I couldn't help but imagine the guilt she felt. If she lived, she'd have to go home with that in the back of her mind. Her brother lowered her arm in case she made any noise.

"Don't make a sound," he whispered. Lance's grip tightened on his trident, his pulse record flashing.

"Scared?" I grinned. He glared at me, baring his teeth.

"We could die right now and you're asking me if I'm scared?"

"Will you two quit it?!" Pidge hissed, dragging us all behind a bush. "Fucking hell, you might as well be enemies with benefits."

"Now  _that's_ something I agree with -"

"Lance."

I was aware of how I spoke to Lance and immediately controlled my temper. We weren't rivals any more; at least I thought so, anyway - I'd saved his life on multiple occasions and I knew he wanted to repay me. He was just an Omega in a painful heat with nothing to assist him, so of course his temper was going to be all over the place. For now, I ignored his advances, and the way he was gripping onto my arm for dear life.

"I'm going to climb up to get a better look," Pidge whispered. "Stay here."

"Be careful," her brother muttered, giving her a boost onto the nearest branch. From there, she made her way up the thick trunk impressively quickly before settling on a branch so high up, I had to squint to see. Footsteps drew near. Lance's hand gripped me tighter.

"What's wrong?" I whispered. "We can handle ourselves."

"I'm afraid, alright?" he seethed, staring into the greenery ahead. "I'm sorry, you're just physically and mentally stronger than me, Keith, I'd prefer having an Alpha at my side than anything else."

Sweat beaded upon his forehead. He really was panicking - and I had no way of calming him down because someone was approaching, and the risk was far too high if we gave ourselves away. For now, I gave in instead of listening to Shiro's voice in the back of my head and intertwined his quaking fingers with mine, securely holding his hand.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Matt kept an eye on his sister as Lance and I peeked around the trunk, listening to the footsteps get louder and faster as they approached. Our heartbeats were in sync, thumping rapidly against our heaving chests. Pidge quietly got her arrow into position. Two boys and a girl ran into view carrying machetes, small daggers and rope. Lance clutched my hand tighter.

One shot and Pidge had eliminated the girl, but the boys who glared as her body fell limp to the floor didn't look too impressed. I felt Matt tense beside me as his sister got caught, and suddenly, I knew why.

One of the males had the number seven upon his thigh. He was the one glaring at her when the Games began and knowing that he was after  _her_ , sent shivers rocketing down my spine. I couldn't let him get to her, even though Matt was already on the case.

"I knew you were a Beta," the Alpha from Seven grinned. "A pretty one, too."

"Fuck," Lance whimpered. I clasped my hand over his panting mouth to keep him hush.

Pidge couldn't get down. We couldn't get up. The only choice was to either let her eliminate him from up there, or we'd have to intervene.

"Come down, sweetheart," he growled. Matt's hands were quivering. 

While aiming, she was shuddering due to fear. Pidge had never deserved this from the moment I met her to now that she was stuck in a tree, with her breath hitched, her hands quaking, her heart pounding; I was glad I wasn't that kind of Alpha. For the sake of Lance, I clasped my hand over his scent gland, protecting him. I wasn't going to let anyone else go near him.

"Don't let go of my hand -"

"I won't, shh," I loosened my grip over his mouth. He swallowed hard, his gaze piercing into me.

"Come on, Kate," Matt whispered. I could sense the desperation in his voice, and it scared me more than anything.

The arrow fired and hit the boy beside the Alpha, before she reached for another and aimed for him. Only that time, it hit the tree behind him, and Pidge cursed, while the deafening sound of two cannons fired in the distance. Matt was shaking. There was no way I'd be able to feel quite as much fear as he was experiencing right then. Lance, on the other hand, had his hand quivering in mine.

If they were both terrified, and Pidge was losing confidence, I had to do something.

"I'm going out there." Lance muttered, letting go of my hand. I yanked his wrist back.

"No," I hissed. "You are  _not_ -"

He exited the bush with so much haste, his trident in hand, approaching the Alpha with barely any confidence. Matt hit my arm and gave me a worried look. I didn't know what to say, or do, either - all we could do is watch while Pidge looked for an escape route.

"If it isn't an Omega," the Alpha laughed, swinging his machete threateningly towards the nervous boy in front of him.  _Oh, Lance._ "Are you with her? Are you fighting me for her?"

"N-no, I -!"

"Then you're no use to me."

My heart skipped a beat as he came at Lance and pounced on him, pinning his limbs to the floor while he writhed, placing the machete right against the jugular in his neck. My heart was completely shattered. I felt the blood drain from my face as my hand gripped the handle of the knife sat in the holster. I couldn't lose him. I couldn't. He had a family to return to and he'd already accidentally claimed me with his scent.

_Oh fuck._

His whimpers tore at my heart. I couldn't take it.

"You don't have a strong scent, but you're in heat, I know that," the male chuckled darkly, the blade of the machete slowly cutting an insignificant part in Lance's neck. A small drop of blood seeped through a tiny incision in his flushed, tanned skin. Why was I just standing there?! He was writhing like a wounded animal and my body wasn't letting me move. "Do you already have an Alpha?"

"K-Keith!" Lance yelled, his neck craning, the deep red of his blood contrasting against his skin. A strangled gasp escaped his lips as the Alpha secured his hand around his neck.

"Shh, sh," he whispered. "I doubt he'll find you now."

Without any hesitation at all, I lunged forward and attacked the Alpha, feeling every little drop of blood in my body boil after seeing what he'd done to Lance. After avoiding his machete swipes I quickly silenced him by pushing a blade right through his chest, hearing Lance cough and splutter out of relief behind me.

I couldn't believe I'd done it. The cannon sounded not so long after, while I watched the blood drain from his eyes. I'd  _killed_ someone.

Without a chance to collect my feelings, I dashed over to Lance to hold him, hearing Pidge land onto the jungle floor to collect her arrows. He shook like a leaf, whimpering into my shoulder, and I held him back twice as close. He would have died. I could have lost him,  _again_. This was starting to become a terrifying game, if it wasn't already, and my heart was thudding with both remorse and adrenaline after killing another Alpha. Matt checked his sister for any cuts or bruises. 

"Shh, it's okay, you're okay," I whispered. The siblings didn't dare to move while I comforted Lance. "Don't worry, he's gone."

"I thought you weren't going to move," he hiccuped. "I thought I wasn't -"

"Lance," I whispered, rubbing his back. He was an emotional state. Anything could've happened to him. "You're worth fighting for, alright? I won't let anyone do that to you again."

"It's my fault," he sobbed, wiping his tears. I was more concerned about the incision in his neck. "I should have fucking known that he was an Alpha, my mother always said -"

Oh no. Did he have a negative outlook on Alphas?

I placed my shaking hands on his cheeks and looked into his flitting eyes. "Lance, hey. Look at me."

"I can't, I -"

The blood coming from his neck was frightening me. i wondered if Pidge had any more of the sealing ointment in her backpack, because he certainly needed it.

"Lance," I whispered, waiting for him to grow accustomed to my touch and gaze. "I don't know what your mother has told you, but I  _promise_ , I'd never be violent towards you."

"But back at training -"

"I know," I sighed. "I didn't realise what you were, alright? But I'm so focused on keeping you alive because you have a family. A family that loves you and acknowledges that you're there, and I wish I was that lucky."

Lance wiped his tears and sniffed. "I guess so."

"If I wanted you dead, you definitely would be by now," I whispered. "Neither you or I can die if you've claimed me by scent."

Lance ceased his whimpers, a look of realisation creeping over his face. "I what?"

I'd realised that I wasn't supposed to let him know that; his eyes filled with tears again, even if I didn't mean it in a bad way. All I could do was sit and ponder over what I'd said. I really shouldn't have slept so close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note that I probably **won't be releasing chapters until sunday** because i have a couple of busy nights upcoming due to getting exam results today haha so im very tired and it's currently 8pm!!
> 
> ill probably still do a couple of one-shots (nsfw or not) over on my [tumblr](pixelpearl.tumblr.com) if i have time! just zoom into my ask box and say hi <3


	32. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are hard. Talking is hard.

Walking through the jungle in silence with Lance was ironically deafening while he dwelled over what I'd said. I didn't even know if anyone else was fighting for mates any more if we'd killed an Alpha and the majority of them were in our alliance; maybe this year it was different because of that. With barely any Alphas, how could they compete? The Omegas and Betas had one-upped themselves just by existing.

The Alphas were always outnumbered from the start, despite our strength and courage, and as much as it was hard to maintain an Alpha body, it was also hard when we had an Omega in heat, and his feelings were dubious about me after I'd accidentally marked myself with his scent. It was bound to happen, and now my heart was going to take all the pain from it. I was trying my best to get Lance to trust me, let alone  _like_ me, and saving his life countless times wasn't going to work.

"I don't understand why you're not as forlorn as you should be," Lance murmured. "Isn't that a burden? Claiming me as your Omega?"

"It's not a burden," I replied. Pidge took off her backpack and we rested against a tree for a while, rationing the bottled water and fruit. I took the time to grab the sealing ointment for Lance's wound.

I had to have privacy while Lance and I talked thoroughly about this. It wasn't just something we could gossip about; it was severely important because both of us were going to be affected by scent marking. As Pidge put her backpack back on, I approached her, but to my dismay she staggered backwards, holding her nose.

"Shit," she hissed. "Keith, you need to take care of your scent. We'll be found out way too quickly."

I bit my lip. "Can I go and talk to Lance for a couple of minutes? We won't go far."

Matt eyed me, searching me for a lie. It was a genuine question because I didn't think Lance wanted to have me as his Alpha, and as much as that hurt, I had to deal with the fact that it was my fault in the first place.

"You have five minutes," he replied. "Don't shout at each other, for our live's sake."

I walked back to Lance and took his hand, pulling him a few metres away from the siblings to talk to him behind a large tree trunk. We couldn't stall for fear of losing our lives, but this was going to impact us for the rest of our days, even after this was all over. If we made it out alive.

"I hope you realise it was an accident," I began. "I curled up to you in my sleep so close and for so long that I unintentionally and unvoluntarily caused you to claim me."

"It's not like it matters," Lance folded his arms defensively, audibly swallowing. "It's not like I can have you anyway, right? You're not allowed to have me."

I exhaled slowly through my nose in irritancy, trying to think. It was hard talking to him about it in the middle of the Games. It would be easier if it wasn't so primal and raw, but anything could happen: there were no guards, no law service, no Shiro.

"If I was allowed to have you, would you be my Omega?" I asked. He frowned at me.

"You're saying it as if I'm some kind of treat or, or trophy," he muttered. "Forget Shiro, alright? Be real with me, Kogane."

I was never good at affection but if it was giving or receiving from Lance, I was suddenly an expert. It was during his heat, too, although he was starting to come down from it ever since I found him, which was a positive sign. I wanted to tell him my raw feelings. How I truly felt, even if I didn't know that yet.

"Why are you silent?" Lance bit his lip. "This shouldn't be this hard. Alphas are, are good at this shit, right?"

"I am!" I cried. 

"Then why aren't you -"

"Because I've been trained into a mindset to ignore mates in the arena," I replied, my hands quaking. "And I don't know how to control or feel about my emotions any more because everything feels wrong, Lance."

He let his festering rage dissipate for a moment, as if he was considering my perspective. I shouldn't have slept so close. It wasn't even a conscious decision and now we were arguing about whether my feelings were real or not.

"Then tell me what you think could be right, Keith," he sighed. "Stop hiding yourself."

"One minute!" Matt called. I tensed up.

Did I have to tell him the truth? About everything? The dance, the night I declined to sleep with him although I  _yearned_ to, holding him for comfort, feeling my heart pound when he asked me if he could kiss me. Well, shit - I  _had_ caught feelings. My mind was a mess. Lance was looking at me like a wounded puppy, searching my eyes for an answer while I thought about it.

"Lance, I," I breathed, feeling my arms shake as I held my hands behind my back, wishing for them to stop. I wasn't good at explaining my feelings at all, which was contrary to other Alphas. "Sh-shouldn't you be the one confessing? After the temple?"

Lance sighed. "I think we both know what I was trying to say, Keith. But it doesn't matter if you feel different or indifferent, I'm not allowed to have you, according to Shiro -"

"Shiro's not here!" I stressed. He was, just watching over me, and I hoped with every part of me that the cameras were on anything but us.

"Thirty seconds," Pidge sighed.

"Surely you know your own feelings if you've made the effort to save my life on more than one occasion," Lance murmured. "Seriously, if you're going to mark yourself with my scent accidentally and deny your feelings for me, I might as well die."

"No!" I cried. "I saved your life because I care about you, alright? I want to make sure you're back home to your family safe and sound because you truly deserve it more than I do. I know me caring is beyond your train of thought, Lance, but I've never cared about anyone's life so fucking much."

Lance bit his lip with pure guilt. "You're trying your best, aren't you?"

"I am!" I breathed. "I don't even want to hurt you emotionally, it was all an accident, Lance."

I paused, observing the soft, hopeful look in his eyes. "Please don't die," I whispered. "Even if I'm not your Alpha, you deserve to live."

_"Ten seconds!"_

Lance stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I hated feelings. I wanted out of it all but I was far too deep for this stupidly attractive boy from District Four; it was going to end up being a tragedy for the whole country to see. I tip-toed to nestle my nose into his shoulder, knowing full well I was going t get hurt in the end, but I couldn't help it - he was amazing at hugs.

"I'll think about it, okay?" Lance whispered. "My feelings are all over the place, too."

I sighed in relief, squeezing his body close to mine a little longer. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he chuckled. "C'mon, I'd like to not die from blood loss."

It seemed as if my apologies were becoming more genuine and believable according to Lance, which caused my heart to sing with relief. While the siblings called us back, I quickly smeared some of the ointment onto his bleeding neck, throwing it back into Pidge's backpack after I was confident the incision was going to heal.

"We just killed three, and we only know the Alpha, so we're going to have to wait until tonight to see the fallen," Matt picked up a machete from the floor and wiped it against a moistened leaf. "You okay back there, Lance?"

With a relieved, but still shaken smile, he nodded, and we both followed the siblings deeper through our route. I couldn't stand to see another Alpha attacking the Omega that'd accidentally marked me by scent, because theoretically I  _was_ Lance's territory. My heart still hammered with fear and anticipation, mainly due to the fact that I'd killed someone, on live television, with a knife. I kept wiping the tainted blade against dewy leaves and moss upon the dark tree trunks, even though I'd already cleaned it. I was getting paranoid. My  _father_ saw that. Lance saw that, even after I'd told him I wasn't violent.

Pidge had killed four people and she wasn't the violent sort at all. Perhaps because she was a Beta, whereas in my scenario, Lance put two-and-two together and probably saw me as a threat. I wasn't a threat; at least I liked to hope so, anyway. Not to him. Anyone but to him.

"So," Pidge began, "Keith killed one, I've killed six, I think I'm winning."

"I don't think that's something to boast about, Katie," Matt warned. 

"It's part of the Games!" she whined. "I know it's bad, and I feel bad, but I think we all know we'd rather it be them than us."

"So according to my math, three just went down," Lance held up his fingers like he was a six-year-old in a math class. "There are eleven Tributes left."

"Solid math." I nodded. "But if you don't include us, there are seven left scattered around the arena."

Pidge whistled, turning around to face us, walking backwards haphazardly. "We could go home. All of us could."

The smile on Lance's face was almost harrowing. It oozed with hopelessness and a hint of charm, and the glint in his eyes was anything but hopeful. When Pidge turned around, I linked his fingers with mine again, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"You miss home?" I whispered. 

He nodded. "Stop comforting me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back!! i hope you didn't miss me too much :")


	33. Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just have to give in.

We took advantage of the tall trees and used them as a lookout to catch other wandering Tributes. Likewise, being elevated from the ground was proven to be a lot less daunting - I no longer felt so disgustingly hot and the sun that filtered through the canopy enabled my hair to dry. Lance and I shared a branch, and opposite sat the siblings, with Pidge clutching her bow close to her. Peering down was terrifying, since we were so high up. Seven Tributes left meant that we were taking every single opportunity as it came and never missing a chance to live.

"Do you think they'll get the bait?" Lance whispered, glaring down at the machete and a pair of apples we'd placed on the jungle floor. "It looks too suspicious."

"Everyone's trying to live," I replied, looking over to him, but soon regretting it. The sweat made his hair cling to his forehead and the heat caused his cheeks to flush a vibrant pink. It really wasn't fair how he could look attractive in every single scenario. "You look like you've just had sex six times in a row."

"Believe me, Keith, I'd rather have sex six times in a row that be stuck in a tree," he laughed a little bit. "You look the same, only seven times in a row."

"You are in heat, after all," I chuckled. "Poor you, stuck in a tree with an Alpha."

Lance pouted, his cheeks growing pinker, and I didn't think that was the heat this time. I enjoyed being around him a lot more, even though it was hard to communicate feelings; I blamed that on the horrible, clingy heat and the fear of imminent death, but we always managed to find somewhere tranquil to discuss. Like the beach at night, for example. Maybe I'd get that confession out of him then. 

"At least it's an Alpha that I like," he grinned.

"Stop flirting with me when we're in a tree, Four," I rolled my eyes. He liked me. "You don't  _like_ me."

"You wanna bet?" Lance gave me a shit-eating grin. I nodded. "Alright, wait until a good time and maybe I'll prove it."

"Will you two shut it!" Matt hissed, crawling all the way to the end of the branch, which shook under his weight. "You're going to get us killed."

I was getting selfish over Lance, I didn't want him with anybody else but me, and now he was  _taunting_ me because of it. My heart was racing, not only because he'd admitted it, even just slightly, but someone was approaching and Pidge was getting ready to shoot. I could see the sun setting in the small spaces between the leaves when I gazed up, almost yearning for the cold night to settle in. I still had a bandage wrapped around my shoulder that I needed to remove. 

"What do you mean a good time?" I whispered, watching Pidge aim her bow. 

"Sometime where we're not in a tree," Lance smirked. "Don't hope for too much."

A female came into view, dubiously observing her surroundings. She carried nothing except for a small dagger as she stepped down and picked up the apples, spinning them in her grasp to check for bruises. How picky. If I was starving, I'd eat that right away. Lance kicked his legs casually over the branch as if nothing was ever going to occur to him, which made me laugh behind a palm. 

"You're going to get yourself killed," I whispered. "Stop that."

"Aren't we all?" he stuck his tongue out. "Let me have my fun."

The creak of Pidge's bow made me jump out of my skin as she aimed and shot, directly through the female's throat, her body hitting the jungle floor with a sickening thud. I'd gotten used to witnessing the loss of lives so much that it didn't occur to me as such - we were in the Games, it was bound to happen - but if anything happened to my allies, I'd never forgive myself. 

Matt congratulated his sister, giving her a pat on the back while she climbed down to retrieve her arrows. I would have done the same and taken the machete, but Lance soon caught his foot in between two branches. With my heart pounding instantaneously, I reached forward to grab my hand but all in poor timing; all I could do was watch as he fell to the jungle floor. I clutched his trident instead, before jumping down with haste. A cannon sounded in the distance, and for a moment, I thought it was Lance.

"Lance!" I choked, rushing to his side, kneeling with my hand under his head, gently propping it into my lap. "Are you okay?!"

"I think so," he coughed. Matt and Pidge crouched to his assistance. "I mean, unless I  _am_ dead."

Relief washed over my face, a small smile replacing it. "You're not dead, Lance."

Matt snatched the machete from the floor. Pidge picked up the apples and put them back in her backpack, retrieving her arrow, and wiping it against a patch of moss upon the tree. Meanwhile, all I could do was calm my heart rate. Just seeing him fall and hit the floor made my heart leap out of my chest, because I really thought he  _was_ dead, until I saw him coughing and spluttering. His head still led in my lap, his crystal-blue eyes gratefully gazing into mine. My fingers smoothed through his hair. I wasn't going to let him get up until I was sure he was alright.

And yet, despite having his head in my lap, almost  _feeling_ the love in his eyes, I still felt myself deny my feelings for him, all because of Shiro.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" I asked. "Can you stand?"

"In a little bit," he closed his eyes, feeling the sun against his skin. "You have comfortable thighs."

At that point, I dropped his head to the floor and pulled him to his feet, hearing his laugh bubble through the air like birdsong. I was way too hot and flustered to deal with him speaking about my body,  _let alone_ feelings, and I'd just grasped the fact that he enjoyed my company. Pidge gave me a knowing smirk, as if she  _knew_.

"Keith, can I have my trident?" Lance called, his speech still smothered in giggles. I tossed it in front of his feet, storming off, feeling my ponytail hit the back of my neck. Lance did that too. I was never going to get away from him. "Thanks."

But before I could finally get away, looking forward to getting in the cool water at the beach, I was pulled and shoved into a tree by exactly who I thought it was. Comfortable thighs; who did he think he was.

"How could you  _deny_ you're fucking in love with him?" Pidge laughed, her forearm pressing me against the tree. I didn't even make an attempt to escape. "It's obvious. You like him! You like Lance!"

I bit my lip and clasped my hand over her mouth. "Will you shut up?! I do not!"

Pidge narrowed her eyes, biting down on my fingers, causing me to pull away instantly. She was too good at everything and I was  _jealous_. "You change your mind a lot, Keith. I often wonder how much of a mess you wouldn't be if you'd just be honest."

"I'm not a mess -"

"Keith." Pidge folded her arms. "You're a fucking mess."

All the way to the beach, I had to deal with Lance grinning at me every time I caught his gaze. It was so stupid, he was superior to me with his feelings, and being an Alpha didn't help. He was supposed to be below me. 

I looked over to him. He was tracing his lips with his tongue, moistening them. Lance, below me. If he  _was_ below me, that tongue would go to better uses.

"Oh my God," I groaned, shaking that thought out of my head. Lance looked over.

"What's up?" he purred, every single thing coming out of his mouth like it was silk. 

"Nothing."

Was it his heat making me think that? It had been several days so his symptoms wouldn't be  _that_ bad. Maybe it was just me. Whatever, I had a better view walking behind him anyway. He had better-looking thighs than I did. Swimming must do him good if he's doing it constantly. Did he have swimwear? What colour? I didn't swim much. For the umpteenth time, I was getting carried away.

Thus, as soon as we reached the beach, my belt giving me blisters as I walked, I went straight into the water to sort myself out. I took a water bottle from Pidge's backpack, as well as the bandages, and stepped in until I was waist-deep. It was so cold and refreshing, I sighed instantly in sheer relief, shivering as the water hit my wounds. I reached back to unzip the suit, feeling the breeze hit my soaked, sweating skin, peeling off the horrible fabric until it reached my waistline. It gave me a chance to breathe.

The sound of Matt making a fire was comforting. I just had to remove the bandage on my shoulder and reduce the chafing from my belt, but for now, all I did was relish the cool air, the feeling of bare skin, and the sun disappearing below the horizon. With shaking fingers, I gently peeled away the bandage Matt had applied expertly, revealing the healed wound beneath. They were strange scars left, replicating the exact moment I was slashed by those claws. With those, I also had various marks over my chest and shoulders. I didn't feel so insecure about them any more, since the Games were so raw. 

But as I unreeled the roll of bandages to secure around my waist, I felt two bare arms wrap around my waist, closely, securely, spreading warmth through my stomach and chest. I looked down at the sore blisters around my torso, and the pair of honey-skinned arms. I sighed, feeling my cheeks flare.

"What's this for?" I whispered, feeling his chin rest upon my shoulder.

"Nothing, I just wanted to check the bruises on my back," Lance whispered. "And you looked lonely."

The gesture was so sweet, I didn't know how to react to it. He cared enough to come and see me, despite his fall and the way we'd been speaking to each other.

"I wanted to say that I forgive you," he mumbled into my scarred shoulder. "Because you've done so much for me, I don't have a reason to be mad at you any more."

His hands trailed up to my chest as he held me closer, his nose finding my scent, and giving it a gentle nudge. The softness almost had me in tears; it wasn't fair that we were exposed to this kind of environment, and I knew Shiro was watching. He was a mentor and nothing more, and despite him probably cursing at what we were doing right now, I didn't care. He couldn't do anything about it, and it was about time Lance and I warmed up to one another.

"Let me help you with your bandages," Lance muttered, and I handed the roll to him, letting him wrap it tenderly around my blistered waist. "I hope you feel okay after everything."

"It's bound to happen," I whispered, feeling him tie the bandage securely. "You've been through enough."

He walked to the front, facing me, the moonlight dusting against his cheeks. His delicate fingers brushed the jaguar scars upon my shoulder, and I watched with sheer ardour. I didn't know myself at this point. Lance was so caring and selfless.

"I'm selfish over you," I whispered, watching his hands smooth their way to the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. "You drive me crazy and I hate it."

"Do you?" Lance grinned. The warmth of our chests touching made my heart sing. His lips were so inviting under the moonlight too, and Id decided that I was going to take each day as it came. Lance was way too delicate to handle any of this, but on the contrary, he'd been through so much worse. "Why are you selfish over me?"

"I don't want you to have anybody else but me." I looked up at him. I hated being tired. All of my emotional defences were falling. "That night with the dance? You were all mine and I hated it that Shiro was taking me away from you."

"Look at you, getting soft," Lance chuckled quietly, wiping away a smudge of blood upon my cheek. "It's a good job we've marked each other."

I sighed in forelsket, resting my forehead against his chest. "Why aren't we admitting anything?"

"Hasn't it already been admitted?" Lance whispered, his lips on the top of my head, gently swaying me as we stood in the cold water. I hated him, I swear I did. I just couldn't help falling in love with him.

"Maybe it has." I whispered. "Is this the good time?"

Lance nodded, his grip on me never loosening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :")


	34. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no time limit to a bonding moment.

The anthem boomed over the arena and the faces of the fallen were displayed overhead while Lance clutched me in his arms, knowing full well that, if he'd broken something serious during that fall, he'd be up there too. The Alpha from Seven came first, and I glanced at the boy holding me to watch his reaction. A relieved smile stretched his lips. I was relieved too. The Beta male and Omega female from Eight came next, who were counterparts to the Alpha. Finally, the Beta female from One flashed up in the sky, before the music ceased, and we listened to the gentle chirp of the crickets instead.

"To think that could have been me," Lance muttered. I glared at him, clutching him tighter. "And you'd have been watching -"

"Don't." I whispered. "I don't want to think about it."

Lance's fingers brushed through my hair, gently removing the ponytail to comb out the knots. How strange that we'd always become closer at night, when everything was calm, and significantly less intense. It felt nice to have the section of water to ourselves, because at night, it was significantly colder and more refreshing. After he'd finished, Lance tied my hair back up and tucked the same strand of hair behind my ear, like he always did.

"You suit having your hair up," he smiled. "You suit gloves, too. You have pretty fingers."

I laughed. "I haven't heard that one before."

"Speaking of which," he chuckled, pulling out my gloves from his sleeve, watching the embers fly enthusiastically out of the material and extinguish when they hit the water. "These are yours, fire boy."

I let him slide them onto my hands, fastening the strap, before he raised them and placed the most delicate of kisses onto my aching fingers. It was hard to deny anything now. He was making advances I didn't dare to attempt and for once, I accepted them. With my heart fluttering from his gesture, we walked back to shore, fastening each other's suits back up.  
There was something very intimate and loving about caring for one another. Whether it was bandaging wounds, hugging away hard times, or just allocating a time to talk, it was all filtering into one thing: Lance and I were closer than I thought we were, and we were only going to get closer.

Upon reaching the fire Matt had constructed and gratefully relishing the peculiar taste of cooked fish and fruit, I'd realised I'd taken comfort for granted. Ever since I put that belt around my waist to carry the knives, blisters were inevitable, and now they'd appeared all around my waist. I was thankful for Lance applying the bandage, so I had some extra support when I next wore the belt. For now, I kept it close to me. I couldn't afford to lose the only thing I was good at.

"Who's keeping watch tonight?" Pidge yawned. "Sorry, but I'm so tired I'll just let us all down."

"I will." I stated. "You deserve some sleep after all those kills. So do you, Lance, after having that fall."

"I'm alright," he smiled. "I'll stay up. I like watching the water."

"That settles it," Matt smirked, stomping out the fire and kicking a blanket of sand over the smouldering ashes. "Wake us up when you feel tired."

Once the siblings curled up and fell asleep, I crawled over to lie at Lance's side, propping myself up with sore elbows. He had his head resting upon his hands, his legs crossed, his eyes gazing up at me from his place on the sand. He looked like he belonged there, with his ocean-blue eyes and swimmer's physique. I wanted so many answers out of him, and since I was an Alpha, it wasn't going to be that hard at all. Before we spoke, I continued gazing into his lidded eyes. They whispered so many things to me, many things louder than others, and since the hormone was wavering, lust and love were the main drugs influencing him right now. I saw it in his eyes.

"Your scent is returning," I whispered, yearning to get closer. I wanted to take a deep inhale to truly experience his heat scent, unfiltered, without suppressants, but I knew I'd just tease myself in the process.

"I can apply more ointment if you want," Lance mumbled, chuckling to himself. "Don't want me being too much of a tease for you."

"No, I think I can handle it." I winked, watching his cheeks grow rosy. "You've been a tease ever since you dragged me into your room while drunk, begging for me to fuck you."

Lance laughed, his eyes closing as if he was trying to remember. "I stand by that statement. You look like one of _those_ Alphas."

"How do you mean?" I raised a brow, shifting myself on top of him, propping myself up on his chest so we were nose-to-nose. Being a couple of inches smaller than him enabled me to experience all of the perks, such as fitting exactly within the contours of his body. Lance smirked at my gesture and clasped his fingers together on the small of my back. His palms were so warm.

"Oh, when we ever get round to doing it," Lance grinned. "You'll see what I mean."

"What do you mean, _when?"_ I scoffed. "I don't even know your favourite colour and you're planning when we're going to have sex."

"You're my Alpha and I'm a vulnerable Omega in heat, what more can I say?" he stuck out his tongue. "My favourite colour is blue. Like the deep ocean, kind of blue. What's yours?"

"Red." I whispered. _I_ _was his_ _Alpha_.

"Vibrant red?" Lance raised a brow. I shook my head.

"Like fire. Sunset reds and oranges."

Lance nodded in agreement. "I'd always thought you'd suited red. Maybe you might suit a little blue."

I smirked. "Is that your way of asking me to be yours?"

He laughed heartily, flashing his white teeth, spreading his pink lips into a genuine smile. I adored hearing him laugh. This conversation was soon going to be one of my favourites. I was going to go to sleep happy.

"It might as well be," he smiled.

"Then I'll be your red," I whispered, "and you'll be my blue."

"Sounds good to me," he sighed happily, tucking the same loose strand of hair behind my ear.

We both laid there in a blissful silence for a while, with my head against his chest, listening to his gentle heartbeat. I'd never thought I'd get this close after everything that had happened. It was unbelievable enough to discover that Lance had dug deep enough into his heart to forgive me, and I no longer had to prove to him that I wasn't a bad Alpha. I cared almost too much about him, and whether or not that was dangerous, I still wanted to keep him by my side.

"Can I smell you?" I whispered. "I never greeted you properly."

"Sure," Lance grinned. "But Alphas are superior, so by all means, you first."

I sighed, knowing full well he'd become enslaved by an Alpha scent automatically due to his heat. But as I rose to sit in his lap, I realised I was a lot smaller than I thought. He was giggling at me. My legs wrapped around him as I sulked. So much for being an Alpha.

Lance leaned down, peeling away the fabric from my neck as I bared it for him. Just his nose brushing against the gland was enough to send my mind reeling. As soon as he took a deep breath, he snaked his arms around me and kept his nose there, groaning in content. I bit my lip at his reaction.

"I love your scent," he whispered. "I want to stay in your neck forever, but I don't think my heat will ever end if I did."

I grinned. "That was a nice noise you made."

Lance rolled his eyes, sitting up and baring his neck. I had to kneel slightly, which caused his hands to move to my backside as I took a deep breath, relishing the warmth, the tingles, the pleasure searing through my brain like wildfire. Since his heat was dissipating, the scent was wavering, but I could still uncover the musky undertones hidden beneath his skin. I closed my eyes to relish it, as well as the heat coming from his body.

"There's still a heat hormone there, so be careful," Lance whispered. I grinned in his neck.

"It's perfect," I muttered. "I don't want to leave."

When I eventually withdrew myself from Lance's alluring scent, I sat in his lap again to gaze up at those gorgeous eyes. It was truly unfathomable how he'd manage to captivate me with his eyes and nothing more; I loved every single little thing about him and yet his eyes always had me wanting more. His lips looked perfect and soft under the hazy moonlight. We were struck under the spell of each other's scents, smothered in lust and warmth as we looked at one another. I wanted to take the kiss I never got from the night of the party. It was so tempting, too.

"Let's get some sleep," he whispered. "I'll wake the siblings. You go lie down."

I sighed. I'd missed my chance. "Alright."

After Pidge and Matt woke up, I comfortably curled up at Lance's side, not regretting it this time. His fingers brushed through my hair and I watched his eyes close. And just like that, as if flicking off a light switch, we were slipping into slumber, surrounded by our warmth and the comforting, homely scent of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> softest boys!!


	35. Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is as it seems.

With Lance at my side, it wasn't difficult to get up any more, and going into the jungle wasn't such a task. He became my motivation just over a couple of days and now I felt like I could conquer the world. That morning, he fished for the four of us and made sure I had my fill. He was such a nurturing and hospitable type and I thought he got that from looking after his siblings. Nonetheless, as we trudged through the jungle with the image of going home in our minds, we were all focused on one goal: making it out alive.

"I believe we all can go home," Matt grinned, cutting down a vine with his machete. "I believe in all of us. We're all strong enough and it'd be unreasonable for us all not to."

"I think many of us have had near-death experiences, Matt," his sister snorted.

"I can dream, Kate."

We headed to the waterfall to refill our water bottles which was a wise idea after walking through a sickeningly-hot jungle all day. I took advantage of the waterfall to wash away the layer of grime that festered upon my skin, dragging Lance in after me. His laughter never ceased as we shoved one another in and out of the water, completely drenching ourselves, knowing we'd loathe the feeling of being wet later.

"I thought you hated water?" he laughed, pushing his fingers through his hair. "Is this a special occasion?"

"No! We're both disgusting and we stink!" I chortled, shoving him. "You stink."

"I assure you, Kogane, I smell like daisies," he scoffed, pulling me closer. "Whereas you never take showers, you filthy mine-dweller."

"I take showers, you filthy sea-dweller!" I slapped his arm. "I'll have you know that the scent of fire is gorgeous and it's no match against your, your _shark_ 'smell,' whatever it is."

Lance gasped. "You take that back!"

"Never!"

We fell about laughing under the waterfall while the siblings stood and watched, throwing the bottles back into the backpacks once they'd been filled. I enjoyed having Lance around to talk to, we were very contrary yet similar to one another, and being able to laugh in the most horrible, dark times certainly lifted my spirits. I ruffled his soaking hair and he tightened my ponytail, causing me to flinch at the pull of wet hair and the band holding it together.

"Ow," I pouted. "Gentle!"

"Since when do _you,_ an Alpha, know the definition of _gentle?"_ Lance teased. "I thought you had a thing for being rough."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I kicked him in the shin and left him laughing behind me, half from my reaction, half in pain, while my cheeks flamed like a forest fire. He soon caught up and patted me on the shoulder in apology.

"I'm kidding." Lance cooed. "Unless you're like the small percentage of Alphas who like being rough during -"

"Lance," Matt sighed. "Keep your fantasies to yourself."

While Lance hung around like a blushing deer caught in headlights, I couldn't wipe away the smirk that crawled onto my lips. I found it both hilarious and adorable when he rambled because he often forgot to think before he spoke, and thus things like _that_ blurted out of his mouth as if it had been in his mind for so long. Likewise, he'd been experiencing a heat, in the middle of a jungle, surrounded by two Alphas with equally as strong scents, so I couldn't blame him.

"We don't have any more fruit," Pidge sighed. "Do you think banana trees exist here?"

"I think they exist," I laughed. "But knowing that it is the Hunger Games, they'd probably be laced with poison."

"Or worse," Matt shrugged. "A bunch of five bananas. One in five are laced with poison. You don't know until you're dead."

We all glared at Matt, thinking about how morbid and realistic his mindset was. It was almost scary, but his knowledge might as well save us.

"Okay." Pidge muttered. "Your brain is definitely from dad."

"Don't make fun of dad," Matt stuck out his tongue. "I bet he's proud of you for killing everyone."

Pidge went quiet, nodding a little bit. I noticed how forlorn she got every time her family was brought up, and having her brother there may just be enough comfort for her to keep going. He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"He's always proud of you," Matt smiled. " _I'm_ proud of you, Pigeon. You once saved us all from a shortage because you found a broken circuit, remember? The entire country would have been without power if it weren't for you."

"And you saved our lives," I announced. "You've done a good job so far."

"I guess," Pidge smiled. "I mean, I didn't ask for the soppy lecture, but thanks."

Lance and I approached her to give her a hug, before we all leaned into one another, realising that we were all in the same mindset of missing home and family. It was important that we all stayed alive, since we all had someone to take care of. With the four of us, we were our own little family, and I kept that close to my heart. Lance's eyes met mine, and he gave me a soft smile.

"I'm proud of you too," he mouthed. I looked away before my cheeks went pink again.

With our eyes glaring upwards, trying to find a source of fruit or some kind of nutritional food source, I realised how harsh the sun was, even though the majority of the sunlight pouring through the canopy was filtered by the leaves. That horrible, clingy feeling of heat being glued to my wet skin was returning. I even heard Lance groan in disgust; our suits may as well be another layer of skin.

"Lance," I whispered, nudging his arm. "How long have you been thinking of rough sex?"

Lance looked at me questioningly. "I haven't?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You couldn't have been thinking about anything else. You ramble. You speak your mind."

"It's appealed to me." Lance swallowed. "Why?"

I smirked. I'd finally gotten something out of him without using force. "Nevermind."

I loved seeing his cheeks go completely fuchsia when I caught him out. It was like uncovering a dirty secret or a filthy pleasure, and even more so if it was on live television. I hoped, for his family's sake, that they didn't hear our conversations. They were laced with sex jokes and all kinds of filth and I was surprised we hadn't been banned from the arena just for being so lewd.

After all, mates were a thing now. And I'd gone and done exactly what Shiro told me not to do. I looked over at Lance, watching his eyes beam as he gazed upon the lush greenery. I didn't care about Shiro's views. I didn't have to follow his advice any more. I could do whatever I liked.

"Up there!" Pidge pointed, her finger gesturing to a large, bountiful bunch of ripe bananas that seemed almost too good to be true. It was way up a tall tree, but shorter than the ones we'd climbed before. She could get up there no problem. "I can climb up, unless anyone else wants to try?"

We all kept to ourselves and watched as she shimmied up the trunk, climbing onto thick branches, tip-toeing her way across thinner ones, until she finally rested within a crook. Matt watched with confidence and concern, both emotions conflicting in his gaze as he watched his sister reach for the tempting bunches.

"Should I throw them down?" she called. "I won't be able to climb back down because my hands are full."

"Go ahead, we'll catch them," Matt replied. We outstretched our arms and caught the bunches as Pidge tossed them down, and suddenly I had an appetite again. Stuffing them greedily into our backpacks was a selfish way of claiming the fruit as our own, and we all knew that nobody else could be just as successful.

We managed to collect four bunches before securing the backpacks and calling Pidge back down. However, as she tore at the final bunch, she instantaneously let out an ear-piercing scream; upon looking up, we heard an angry swarm of bee-like insects forming a cloud from above, and suddenly, we didn't know how to get Pidge down.

"Oh my God," Matt breathed. "Jump! I'll catch you!"

Pidge had already descended the tree and practically fell into her brother's arms, her forearms covering her face as she was chased by a peculiar, purple swarm of insects. I then realised Matt's foreshadowing. With my heart in my throat, I gripped Lance's wrist and ran away from the swarm, following Pidge as she sprinted through the jungle, with her brother close behind. I felt a couple of stings on my neck and the backs of my hands, and soon enough, I felt excruciating pain searing though my arms and chest. Lance let out a pained cry as we out-ran the insects, almost hurling ourselves into tree trunks as we did so. I was so concerned about Pidge. Being stung twice was painful enough - how much had she been stung, and were they venomous? Lethal? For Matt's sake, I hoped not.

Finally, we lost the eerie hum of the insects as they fled out of the jungle, and Pidge was sat against a tree with her head in her hands, sobbing in sheer agony. Her brother approached her with haste and brought out the bandages, but the sight we saw when he peeled away her hands was anything but okay.

Her skin was peppered in purple, animalistic blotches, and the stings had raised into painful bumps as if she was allergic. I looked down at my wrist, feeling a little lightheaded, noticing how my skin had also become swollen. I was worried about her. Matt handed her a bottle of water as he got to work on her injuries, and I tried to look over to Lance. He only had one sting on the palm of his hand and the anxiousness on his face was far from indescribable. While Pidge choked on her sobs, her cheeks becoming blotchy with lilac, I felt a wave of nausea pang in my stomach.

"Keith!" Lance cried. "Keith, are you okay?!"

Nothing that was said to me was comprehensible. I just stared at the boy beside me, feeling the blood drain from my face. I felt sick. Faint. I was in so much pain, too. It felt like fire against my skin. My ears were ringing.

"Keith, talk to me," Lance stressed, his hands against my cheeks, his eyes wide. "Come on, what are you doing? We have to get up and go!"

 _Get up?_ Why? I was perfectly fine with sitting against a tree trunk, feeling completely tranquil, apart from the searing pain spreading through my body. Lance sounded desperate, but I didn't know why. More sickness washed over me. Pidge's eyes slid shut as she fell limp against her brother.

"Keith," Lance whimpered. "Fuck, why do you try to be the hero all the time?"

I felt myself being raised off the floor by strong arms as my vision faded. The sun looked gorgeous filtering through the trees. I still couldn't find a reason why for Lance's dismay, despite feeling his tears drip onto my forehead.

"Come on, you have to live," he sniffed. Was he walking? Where were we going? Everything seemed to fade into black the more we walked. And just like falling asleep, all kinds of emotion dissipated, but the sickness and dizziness remained. All sound had condensed into white noise, except for the last thing Lance whimpered before I lost consciousness.

"Keith, I need you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh. don't hate me
> 
> i also feel like it's bonus chapter time because you guys are all amazing and your comments make my day, I honestly love reading and replying to all of them and you've being bearing with everything ive poured into this story so you all deserve to take over the next chapter instead of me causing destruction :")
> 
> please comment your favoured scenario (and if you have any other ideas or suggestions for the story, like headcanons) and ill write the most popular choice!
> 
> a) an actor!au where the fic is in the process of being filmed and once a scenario happens the director yells "cut" and everything goes from there (you choose the scenario! i thought of the nosebleed scene myself and Keith apologising after hitting Lance during filming but idk)  
> b) Shiro's pov from where he stands watching the games unfold  
> c) matt/Pidge's pov of either their home life or the games (you choose!)
> 
> thank you all for your support omg ♡♡♡


	36. [BONUS] Mentor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro's a little pissed, to say the least. Someone else is there to cause mischief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for 350+ kudos and almost 5500+ hits! you are all wonderful and here's a bonus shiro chapter because ily all so much
> 
> (i know the actor au choice was quite popular too, so i'll probably add that choice in next time for those who wanted it!)

"Give me an outlook on Twelve."

Keith was a difficult Tribute, one of the most difficult Tributes I'd ever have to encounter. He learned quickly, and discipline was often the final tactic to use when he stepped out of place, which was often. Ever since he set foot inside the Tribute sleeping quarters, he was a stubborn, selfish Alpha male that didn't have concern over anybody else but himself.

"Twelve's female is dead, Twelve's male is alive."

"Give me Twelve's male."

When I met him the first time, I knew it'd take him some time to warm up to other people. I wanted him to be likeable, not to attract mates, but to attract sponsors, just to keep him alive. It was never a good idea to send a Tribute out alone without any advice, and although I was one of the best chosen by Alfor and his daughter, I always had to relive the Games, every single year, and the reason why I didn't win with a mate. All because of Zarkon's bomb parachutes; mates were never a good idea for the Games. Especially with hormonal Alphas, Betas and Omegas.

The Games was centred around death and rich with traps in order to pursue that goal on winning. Keith had it easy. Four winners were supposed to come out this year at the most if they hadn't died of natural causes. I knew Keith had the qualities to win, he was a lot like me - I just didn't want him going through the same emotional pain as I did. Hence, I had to keep him away from District Four's flirt, the boy fawning and pining from him ever since the chariots happened.

"Twelve is currently walking with Four."

I looked up from my train of thought, glaring at the big screen in front of us. The control panel consisted of many different buttons, screens and holograms, all controlling a variety of factors within the Games. All I did was stand at the back, watching everyone work: Alteans, Galra, and even normal humans sat at pristine white desks, channelling Altean energy towards the arena. It was also keeping the forcefield up.

I watched as the camera gave certain angles on my assigned Tribute, who was currently laughing along with his new ally as they walked alone, almost hand-in-hand. Lance seemed like a trustworthy person, but I didn't want Keith to go through any type of heartbreak or emotional pain; he'd suffer from many different psychological alterations if he won.

"Okay," I tapped my chin. I had to either avert them away from one another or  _kill_ one, which I really didn't want to do. I was conflicted and annoyed. Keith hadn't listened to me at all. "Bring up a trap on the left wing."

"You can't bring up traps, Shiro," Zarkon's son laughed darkly. "You're a mentor,  _we_ deal with the traps."

"I can bring up a temple on the far right wing," an Altean female piped up. A projection of a large temple beamed from the centre table, with an animation of walls slamming together within the basement. I didn't intend to kill, I just wanted to see if they were smart enough to avoid it.

"Give it a treasure," I stated. "Something to go for."

A backpack, along with a bountiful amount of fruit was placed on an Altar in the middle. We waited eagerly, like predators focused on our prey, as we watched Lance and Keith approach the temple. While I was amused at Keith's bewildered expression, I was also fond of Lance's wariness. If he was truly with Lance, and saw him as more of a friend than an ally, they'd skip the temple altogether.

"Sound, please," Lotor muttered. "I want to hear what these idiots are saying."

_"Lance, let's take a look."_

_"I don't trust it."_

If Lance didn't trust the temple, he'd have to put his trust in Keith instead, which was something even  _I_ found difficult. We watched as the duo descended the stairs into the basement, and the way Keith sauntered in like it was nobody's business. It started getting exciting when he fell for the backpack trap, which, even though I was looking forward to them both running their separate ways, I didn't want them killed in the process.

I felt my heart pound in anticipation as the walls began to close, and their desperation was unbelievable. Keith's fingernails had been scratched raw, and his elbows and knees were probably bruised after trying to hold the wall open.

"Will they close all the way?" I asked, watching the two of them get pushed towards one another. It was almost heartbreaking to watch. I could see the tender, worried look in Lance's eyes as Keith nestled into his chest in sheer fear. Spite stirred in my stomach. He couldn't give up his winnings for this boy. He was being too reliant.

"Yes," the Altean female replied. "I can enable it so they stop after a minute?"

_"I'm sorry, shit, Lance -!"_

_"K-Keith, if we die -"_

"Confession time," Lotor grinned, looking over to me. "And you say Keith is the one you're counting on to win for Twelve?"

"I'm not letting Lance get in the way." I gritted, but as soon as I could say any more, the walls suddenly stopped in their tracks. I stormed over to the Altean female, whose fingers were furiously tapping at her screen. "What's going on?"

"His trident is stuck between the gap," she stressed. "It's made of magnesium alloy and another Altean metal. It won't break under the pressure of the walls."

I looked up with haste to see Keith smashing the brick door open, reaching for Lance to save his life instead of saving his own skin. How pathetic. He needed to get out of there; Lance was only going to bring him down and Keith was far too independent for that. As soon as the duo fell onto the steps, with Lance's trident in his hand, the entire control room let out a distressed sigh.

I watched with burning rage and spite as Keith let his defences down to embrace the boy he'd saved. It was obvious there was some kind of connection as Lance held his counterpart's hands, examining them for injury. Their relieved sobbing almost made my heart ache. Now, I didn't know whether to truly tear them apart for Keith's sake, or keep them together. Lotor laughed.

"Looks like your plan was a failure," he grinned. "What other heartbreaking scenarios are you thinking of?"

"It's not to break hearts." I muttered. "Keith can't afford to be with someone else."

The camera panned to another unknown set of Tributes while I stormed off. Every single year, the games were difficult, and maybe, just maybe, Twelve could win once.  _Once_. Keith was a strong Alpha and his District was counting on him, and gaining a partner, or a mate, or a friend will set him way back. Although, if he  _did_ establish a relationship with Lance, he'd have a higher chance of winning, due to fond sponsors wanting the eager couple to win.

But Keith didn't need someone else to help him win. He could win just fine on his own.

"Miss, multiply the bounty in the backpack for Keith," Lotor called. "Give them something to aim for."

I turned to him. "What are you doing?"

"Bringing them together," he replied.

* * *

A couple of days later, and I was even more furious than before. Watching Keith slowly establish a bond with Lance almost hurt too much to watch. I was beginning to feel the same emotional pain I did when I lost my mate during the Games, and although I didn't want it to happen to him, at the same time, I hoped for a slight quarrel between them, just to separate them. Lance was an Omega, they were practically sex pheromones with legs, right? Keith would get bored of him after a while, surely?

I approached the large screen in front of us all, our eyelids drooping with exhaustion. The cameras were currently on a pair of Tributes attempting to construct a leaf shelter, or an umbrella - whatever, I had no idea what was going through their heads. They certainly weren't going to be successful.

"Twelve and Four are in the ocean."

"What?!" I yelled. "Camera on Twelve!"

"Shiro -"

"Camera on Twelve."

Keith was slowly killing himself and I bet he was disregarding everything that I'd said. There he was, lovingly embracing the boy from Four. The Altean female prepared the anthem and the fallen Tributes, but Lotor stepped in front of the projector. 

"Postpone the fallen, let Lance and Keith rest," he announced. "Give it one more minute."

"I hope you know you're killing him," I murmured. "He doesn't deserve a mate. He'll get himself killed."

"Thirty seconds until the fallen," Lotor muttered. "Make the waning crescent a full moon."

And thus, with Lotor's commands, I watched as the duo clutched one another tighter. I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Something had to be done.

"Make a fucking tsunami," I hissed.

"We can't," the Altean female frowned. "We'd need to create a mass earthquake and the devastation would kill everyone instantly."

"Where's the young love and death in that?" Lotor laughed. 

"Then add a shark, do whatever, just get them away from one another," I glared at Zarkon's son and his wicked grin as every single plan contrasted against mine. I didn't understand why he was teasing it. "What are you up to?"

"They'll have something to fight for," Lotor grinned. "Let them have this. You'll get your independent Keith in the end, I'm sure."

I was suspicious of his motives. Whatever he wanted to do, I wanted the opposite, especially since I wanted to have Keith win  _my_ way and not his. If Lotor was going to cause harm in the future, what was wrong with me causing harm now?

I couldn't. I didn't have the power. Lance followed Keith back to the beach, zipping up their bodysuits, approaching the Holt siblings as they cooked the fish and fruit. I sighed heavily. None of this was going to work and if I continued getting pissed off, nothing was going to go my way.

"What's the data on the Holts?" I asked, letting my rage dissipate by taking a long sip of water and counting to ten. Lotor's boots clicked against the white, marble floor as he manoeuvred around each control panel. The camera zoomed towards Matt, and his statistics displayed on the screen.

"Alpha male. His current BPM is seventy-two, has a normal body heat, hunger levels are going down."

"And his sister?" I asked, looking at the screen.

"Katie is a Beta female with a BPM of sixty-eight, has a normal body heat and suitable hunger levels."

I hummed in content. They seemed as if they were going to win. They had a better chance than Keith did, regarding his 'mate' scenario, which I'd never forgive him for. He betrayed my advice, but I was his _mentor_ , I had to keep him alive one way or another.

"Lance McClain has a BPM of eighty, a high body heat, and suitable hunger levels, whereas Keith's BPM is eighty-two, his body heat is slightly above normal, and his hunger levels are dropping as fast as Matt's."

"What's the testosterone level in Lance's blood, darling?" Lotor asked, looking over the shoulder of the Altean female. "Why is he heating up?"

"Lance is in his final wave of an Omega heat cycle. His testosterone levels are higher than usual."

I groaned loudly into my palms. "Get them away from each other _now_."

Of course Keith was softer towards him. Alphas were usually nurturing to an Omega in heat, and I just hoped that it'd wear off when Lance's heat was over. Not only was it embarrassing for him, but I knew he was going through a heat from the moment it was revealed that he was an Omega. I had to keep his hormones at bay while Keith was around. I couldn't watch him get hypersensitive.

"We're having some fun this year," Lotor rubbed his hands together. "Can we possibly increase the length of time Lance goes through his heat? Spice up the show a little? Have something to talk about back home?"

"We are _not_ having that," I hissed. "Don't do a single thing to his heat."

"I've increased and changed the amount of testosterone in his pulse record. Whenever it gets squeezed by Keith instead of the hormone helping his heat, it'll increase the intensity."

"Are you fucking serious?" I huffed. "Mates aren't the only thing valuable to the Games."

Lotor shrugged. "Like I said, let them have their fun." 

I walked out after that. There was no way I could watch it all unfold after they'd purposely tapered with Lance's heat, and Now Keith was going to be drawn in by his scent. It didn't seem fair, however, since he was Zarkon's son, there wasn't a lot I could do. All I could hope for was Keith's strength. He had to inore those scent signals. He was going to follow Lance right into a death trap, and there'd be no more winner for District Twelve.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~lotor said darling dont hate me ok~~


	37. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith wakes up. Gaining consciousness sucks.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the hunger pangs in my stomach, and the eye strain that stung my eyes upon looking at the bright sky. The sun hung overhead, beating down on me, not a single cloud in the sky. Every single noise was muffled until I managed to stir, propping myself up onto my shoulders. The first person who came to my side was Lance, who looked terribly concerned, and I couldn't help but wonder why.

"Fuck," he breathed, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "Keith, you're awake. Matt and Pidge are sleeping."

I gazed up at him, feeling slightly nauseous and clueless as to what happened before I lost consciousness. I felt warm sand between my fingers as I tried to sit up, but Lance only pressed me back down.

"What happened?" I whispered, rubbing my head. There was a bandage around my hand, and I felt one around my neck. "How long was I out?"

"You were stung by a couple of poisonous wasp things, Pidge got it much worse," he whispered, his thumb never ceasing. "You've been out for three days, I've been so worried about you."

I bit my lip with sheer guilt. I'd been unconscious for three days, which was totally not okay, and Matt and him had to fend for themselves as Pidge and I had completely blacked out. Lance reached for a couple of bananas and a bottle of water. He also fetched a freshly-cooked fish from he campfire. I didn't know how to thank him.

"Did anyone else die?" I asked.

"The Beta male from Two and the Beta female from Eleven," he explained, slowly propping me up into a sitting position. "It was all a blur. Luckily Matt and I weren't harmed, we managed to keep you out of danger for the past few days."

"Did anything else happen?" I muttered, slowly drinking from the water bottle, immediately adoring the fresh, cold liquid flowing down my throat. Lance sighed.

"You gained consciousness a few times. There was vomit, a lot of vomit, fainting, crying, crying in agony from Pidge," he scratched the back of his neck. "You were sick once but luckily, not on me, so."

I winced. "I'm sorry."

"You managed to have some dignity and find a bush, but Pidge was the total opposite. Matt was so concerned about her that he had two panic attacks. She doesn't look any better, but she's been talking."

"What do you mean, any better?" I asked, taking a bite out of the banana Lance held out to me. I was literally being babied, but for once, I didn't mind. I was incapable of doing anything by myself right now. Lance bit his lip.

"Why don't you see for yourself?"

I slowly turned my head to see Pidge lying on her back, with bandages wrapped all the way up her arms. The top of her suit had been zipped down and hung around her waist, exposing the stings along her stomach, chest, collarbones, shoulders and arms. Underneath the sports bra-like garment given to her before the Games, there were a few large blotches, she was stung there too. However, as my eyes lifted, I hadn't seen the worst of it. Her face and neck were covered in purple freckles, the tips of her fingers were lilac, but the most unsettling things were her ears. They were animalistic, Galra-like, fluffy, purple things that drooped as she slept. Her dark eyelashes fluttered, her pale lips parted. I turned back to Lance, feeling his hand on my bare shoulder.

"We think that the venom in those insects caused her to get Galra tendencies, but nothing has changed much apart from her appearance," Lance explained. "I'm just lucky that you didn't go through as much pain as she did. Matt was in such a state, I already couldn't handle you being so ill and weak."

"I'm sorry I made you worry," I muttered, finishing the banana and watching Lance toss away the skin. He then placed his lips against my forehead, and I was taken aback. My cheeks flushed. I hadn't even been awake for an hour and he was making advances towards me.

"What was that?" I asked, taking another long, grateful drink of water.

"Checking your temperature," he smiled. "My mom did it with her lips back home. I think your fever's gone down."

"Enough about me," I muttered, putting down his stressed, shaking hands and holding them in my lap. "How are you feeling? How's your heat?"

"My heat?" Lance blinked. "Oh. I've been using up all the ointment just in case you woke up, but now it's all gone, and I think the heat has passed, anyway."

It was difficult to tell if the heat passed because I couldn't pick up his scent at all due to the ointment. After a couple of moments, I regained my health, and despite feeling groggy I could at least look around and walk without feeling ill. Lance approached Pidge to change the bandages around her stomach, while I unwound the ones on her healed arms. She stirred and opened her eyes, and the sight before me made me stagger back in fear.

"Oh my God!" I breathed. "Shit, your -"

Pidge looked at me as if she was a deer in headlights. Her eyes had condensed into just a pupil, which was petrifying to look at, but the way I'd staggered out of her way made her feel hurt. I could see it in her body language. Upon propping herself up as Lance removed the bandages, I could see all of her bruised stomach muscles, defined with Galra venom.

"I know I'm ugly, Keith, but you can keep it to yourself," she whispered, her throat raspy. "Leave me alone."

"You're not ugly, the ears are actually a little adorable," I teased. "Your eyes just scared me."

Her tousled, auburn hair was streaked with purple. Upon closer inspection, I could still see the faint hazel in her eyes, but it didn't seem as if she was going to return anytime soon. I hoped it wasn't slowly killing her, either. Having her in excruciating pain was bad enough. Matt couldn't afford to lose her, not after I'd known that he'd cried about it.

"How's the pain?" Lance asked, replacing her stomach bandages. I tossed the old bandages onto the sand. Pidge reached for a water bottle and rubbed her stomach, sighing a little bit.

"It's like having a period," she groaned. "Lance, you're an Omega, right? You know how that feels?"

Lance's cheeks flushed. "I've been on birth control since puberty happened."

Pidge cursed. "Lucky bastard. In other words, it's bearable, but it's like I've been punched sixteen times with both a knife and a knuckleduster."

"Are you sure you're not..." I bit my lip. "Actually on your period?"

"Betas and Omegas were given birth control during the sexual wellbeing test," Lance explained. "I think Pidge would be going through a lot worse. She's been so brave so far."

I sighed in relief. I didn't want Pidge to go through two types of pain, let alone any pain. She stretched, every single bone in her body satisfyingly popping like bubble wrap, until she grabbed her glasses and slid them onto her lilac nose. Lance finished wrapping the last of the bandages before handing her a banana. This time, he didn't hold it for her.

"How come you're not holding it for Pidge?" I asked, pouting like a toddler.

"Pidge has been awake longer than you have," Lance explained. "Right now, she has more physical strength than you do."

"It sucks that we're not given painkillers," I sighed. "Pidge has done so much for us. She doesn't deserve the agony."

"Serves me right for climbing a tree infested with Galra wasps," she laughed, clutching her stomach, immediately regretting her humour. "Fuck me hard, I've never been in this much pain."

Lance and I couldn't help but laugh. At least our usual Pidge was returning. Matt rose from his slumber soon after, giving his sister a pat on the back, shuffling over to face her. I was surprised he didn't react the same way as I did. Although, he must have been there when the transformation took place. I doubt he'd like her any less just because she looked different. I bet she had a lot of anxiety based around her appearance and the experience she went through. After sitting in silence for a couple of minutes, I assumed we were all acknowledging the fact that was cared deeply for one another. I'd never been so concerned for a group of people in my life. They weren't just allies, they were friends, _family_ , even. Lance was a wreck after discovering I was unwell due to the wasp venom, and the relief that washed over his face was incomprehensible.

"I want to go home," Pidge whispered. "I don't want to participate any more."

I looked over to her. My father was watching all of this. He saw how I became unconscious for days, developed a fever, and became sick. Pidge's parents saw her daughter almost become poisoned. Lance's family watched their young, vulnerable boy become a hero in only a matter of days. And then I realised, after all we'd been through, not only had I been saving his life. He'd been saving mine, too.

"Thank you for keeping me alive," I whispered, turning to him. "I owe you."

"We take care of each other," he muttered. "All of us do. And as much as we all want to go home, there's a little bit left to endure before we're back on the train and seeing our families again."

Holding his hand was probably the most comforting gesture we could provide at the time. Lance gave me a hopeful smile, delicately squeezing my sore fingers until I squeezed back. We were in it together. His family relied on him to come home and I was going to do just that. Not only that, but if he was that valuable to his siblings, knowing they missed him struck emotional hurt through my chest. Pidge had her brother right there, but I bet she felt so much distance between them. They were complete strangers in the Games, but still little kids at heart, tinkering with electricity to help at home.

"How old are you, Lance?" I whispered, watching Matt check his sister for any more bruises.

"Eighteen," he swallowed. "My first Reaping. And I got chosen. I could hear the whimpers from my parents and siblings, all of them weeping my name as I stepped up. I was either a big or a little brother and the tears that fell from my eyes were unstoppable that day. As soon as I met the other Tributes on the train, I realised I had to do anything to win."

"Your first Reaping?" I gasped. "Lance, you have to go home."

"We all have our reasons to go home. Pidge and Matt have a dog and loving parents. You have a father that cherishes you."

I nodded. "I guess so."

"He does, Keith, you're his only son," he muttered, hope flickering in his eyes. "I bet he's counting on you to come home."

I sighed. "If mom was around, it'd be easier."

Above hand-holding, Lance's hugs were the main source of comfort and the reason why I kept so close to him. I didn't know why my mother was suddenly making an appearance in my head, but even Lance was mentioning his siblings and the rest of his family. I felt myself shatter. My mother would be devastated just watching this. And if my father was on his own, how did he react? Right now, the only thing that reminded me of a homely atmosphere was Lance and his warmth.

"Stay with me," I whispered, ignoring the fleeting pain in my wrist as he held me tighter. "You're the only home I have right now."

Lance nodded. "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :"( someone go run in the arena and give them all hugs


	38. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance enjoys testing his limits.

Getting used to seeing Pidge with purple streaks in her hair and barely any life in her eyes wasn't easy. The fact that, if she lived, she'd have to go home with that appearance if she didn't find an antidote. For our sake. Matt was already adjusting to his half-Galra sister and it was only a matter of time before it became the norm. As much as I cared about her, I didn't want her to go home like that. We hadn't been given an antidote so far, despite all of this. Even though we were still bruised from the wasp stings, we trekked through the jungle like we'd never been harmed, cutting down anything that laid in our way.

Lance and I hung at the back as usual, and Pidge's new appearance wasn't the only thing that was putting me off. Despite Lance saying that he'd applied as much ointment to the gland in his neck as possible, I could still sense the pheromones leaking from his body. And the longer I stood near him, the more I was affected by it. I was drawn to his scent like he was a treat, and if anything, helping him out on his heat was certainly on my mind. He hadn't shown any signs of arousal and he barely seemed to fidget. Mainly because his hands were always on that trident of his; those long, slender fingers trailing down each blade as he cleaned them, the muscles in his arms flexing through the ripped fabric, his chocolate hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. It was going to be a recipe for disaster - and thus, knowing I couldn't have him  _now_ , made me involuntarily moan like a horny teenager halfway through puberty.

Lance looked over to me as I clasped my hand over my quivering lips. I then decided to occupy myself by tightening my ponytail and tucking the strand Lance was fond of behind my ear - he was still glaring, still smirking, his fingers were tapping against the metal handle of the trident and _shit_ I wanted them somewhere else -

"You okay there, ponytail?" Lance purred. Everything he said seemed to be dripping with lust, or it was just me. 

"I heard that too," Pidge rasped, her fangs protruding her pale, purple lips as she laughed. The lilac freckles were spreading like a forest fire into smudges. I was sure her skin looked slightly more velvet-like than normal. "Are you sure Keith didn't just  _come_ from your presence?"

"No!" I yelped. "I didn't! Shut the fuck up, the both of you."

"Keith, don't be so lewd," Matt giggled. "We're only kidding."

I cursed under my breath. I hated being an Alpha with every piece of my being and I didn't care about my physical strength. Around an Omega, I was condensed into nothing. And I'd never been around an Omega in heat before, since it was Lance, it was a lot worse than expected. He tapped my shoulder and beckoned me behind a tree. I bit my lip, ready for a lecture, but he simply threw down his trident and folded his arms, looking down at me.

"Wait, where are you going?" Matt yelled, a few metres away. "Ugh, look. We'll wait here."

"What's up with you?" Lance whispered, thumbing my bottom lip. He'd backed me up against the nearest, thickest, largest tree he could find so we were concealed by large leaves and other greenery. He was teasing me with that same, stupid thumb trick that I fell for back when the party happened. That felt like ages ago.

"I'm picking up your pheromones," I murmured, keeping my eyes strained on him as his fingers daintily trailed down the tendons in my neck. "A-and you're not making it any better- _Lance_ , wait, no, that's -"

"Aww, Keith," he chuckled pitifully, tenderly rubbing the gland in my neck. I clenched my teeth, the feeling of hot hormones flooding through my blood making me whimper. "Are you thinking of me?"

"It's your fault," I hissed, my hands trembling against the tree. "You and your stupid fucking heat, I hate you."

"Do you?" he leaned down, whispering lowly into my ear, causing shivers to bolt down my spine like violent lightning. This was going to  _wreck_ me if I didn't get any suitable release now. "Tell me how much you hate me, Keith."

I didn't. I was rambling, just like he did, announcing every little thing that appeared in my head. His gaze was lidded, gooey with lust, flirtatious smile and shiny, pink lips accentuating his sharp cheekbones from not having a proper diet. He was searching my eyes for an answer, one hand on the trunk above me, the other smoothing down the muscles on my stomach. The sliver of glass in my wrist flashed a telltale red. I couldn't get away with my feelings at all.

"Exactly," he purred. "And you owe me a dance and sex after that party, don't you?"

"I'm sure I don't owe you anything," I spoke against his lips. "You were the one on top of  _me_."

"And how the tables have turned, an Omega, speaking down to an Alpha," he grinned. I attempted to speak back, my voice sharp with annoyance, but it soon trailed off into a hitched breath as his hand palmed and rubbed the bulge in my bodysuit. I hated the way they were so tight. I bit my lip and tried to shove his hands away, even though I wanted more, but he held up my hands with his free one, and continued to tease. Matt and Pidge were waiting. It's a good job we were concealed.

"Fuck you," I muttered. "Should've knocked you out when I had the ch-  _haah!"_

His hands laid upon my flushing, hot cheeks. He was definitely experiencing another heat because he was taking advantage of every little weak spot I had. I clenched my thighs with all the willpower I had in me to try and calm the rush of blood to my abdomen. Lance couldn't help but laugh lowly.

"Now we're in the same boat. If you ever wondered what a first wave feels like when you're in heat, now you know."

"You motherfucker," I whispered. "I hope you -"

I wasn't prepared for what happened afterwards.

His hot lips gently pressed against my quivering ones, with his index and thumb gently pinching my chin, angling my face upwards so he could kiss me deeper. Every single nerve in my body was on fire and my heart hammered against my chest with both love and nervousness; all those unrequited feelings had condensed into nothing all because he'd shut me up with a kiss. Whatever it was threading through my bloodstream, I wanted more, because my mind was ignited with the colour blue and everything Lance McClain.

After a couple of seconds, he broke away, his cheeks a hazy pink, his eyes still lidded. He stroked my lips with his thumb, tapping them gently. I stood there breathless with shock, my eyes wide and eager.

"I've always wanted to do that," he whispered, tilting his head as if examining the flush of fuchsia on my cheeks. 

"Do it again," I whimpered. "I want you to continue."

"I want my heat to be over," he chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "We can't have everything, now, can we, sweetheart?"

I couldn't win. I was already enslaved by his tone. "No."

"Good boy," he patted my head and dragged me back out. I swear I hated him. Fucking flirt.

Pidge was whittling down a twig into a point with her arrow, her foot tapping against the floor as she and her brother waited for us to return. I had to keep it together. I had a swell in my abdomen I couldn't control and everything felt hot and clingy. My pulse record was still flashing from the kiss I'd received, and even though I was on cloud nine, I didn't want a lecture from Matt talking about my Alpha tendencies. Lance, on the other hand, was beaming. He looked so proud of himself, the sly fucker.

"You look happy," Pidge smirked, still focused on her twig. "Got a one-up on Keith?"

"Yeah," Lance laughed. "He's easy to fool."

I kicked him in the leg, watching him frown at me. I winked in his direction. Controlling myself was difficult when a billion different feelings were running through my head at the same time. 

"How many left to kill?" Pidge asked. We began walking again, replenishing our thirst and eating fruit, being wary of our surroundings. If two died while I was unconscious, surely we had an increased chance of winning. 

"Eight left in the arena, four of which are us," Matt replied. "Four left to kill, four left until we go home."

Lance's fingers were teasing mine, the back of his hand brushing against my digits until I linked my pinkie with his. I wanted another kiss. I'd never kissed before, I was totally inexperienced, and yet it was like I was an expert when it came to Lance. He winked back at me when I looked at him, sending my heart fluttering again. 

With this knowledge, we were powered by motivation and we strolled through the jungle with a little more power and speed. I'd begun to notice trees and bushes that I'd passed, and drops of blood on the jungle floor, the dark colour contrasting against the bright green.

"You guys," Lance sighed, breaking the silence after half an hour or so. "I miss garlic knots and croissants."

Pidge whined. "Ugh, don't make me hungry for breakfast, mom made such good pancakes back at home."

Matt laughed, and I couldn't help but giggle too. Lance would eat nothing else but garlic knots for dinner back at the Tribute quarters. The food was outstanding and mouth-watering, and suddenly, I missed the cheese and meat selection, and even the gross alcohol the Alteans drank that I'd tasted at the party.

"What do you have on your pancakes, Pidge?" I asked. Her purple ears shot up eagerly.

"Either butter or syrup," she replied. "I always eat it in front of a computer and then sticky-keys gets a whole new meaning. Matt just puts on classical music."

"It's better than  _your_ music," Matt sneered.

"What's your favourite piece?" Lance asked. "I like classical."

"Moonlight Sonata."

Lance nodded in agreement, and all I could do was share a look with Pidge. We were always the odd ones out when it came to Matt and Lance's conversations. Pidge's eyes were still harrowing and terrifying, but I soon got used to them after she'd looked at me sarcastically  _way too many times._

"Do you feel any different?" I asked. "Regarding your Galra stuff and all?"

"Eh, senses are heightened, I have pointy teeth," she shrugged. "Nothing bad."

Lance's fingers linked with mine again, and I gave him a knowing look. "You are _not_ seducing me with your fingers," I whispered. "I'm wearing gloves. That counts as protection."

He laughed. "Does it now?"

I nodded, sighing in relief that the hot rush in my abdomen had dissipated, and so had the pace of my heart. I knew Lance wasn't  _totally_ with it regarding his hormones, but we were in the middle of a jungle, anything was normal in the Games. Except for, well, being pressed up against a tree and teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somebody give keith some ice hes burning up


	39. Alpha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Alpha has been found.

"Four left," I sighed. "It sounds like a lot after all we went through."

"Not really," Pidge shrugged. "I mean, I've killed most of them."

We were on our way once again, trying to find the other four Tributes hiding out there to win. I was so determined with the fact that I could go home  _today,_ because it was always likely that more than two could die a day. My father must be so worried just watching this. I hoped he wasn't too disappointed about me finding  _someone_ , because Lance truly changed my life, and I wanted everyone to be happy.

My outlook had changed so much ever since I'd been in the Games. I wasn't that selfish any more, and the wellbeing of other people became my main priority. I cared more about Lance than I did myself, and although that was harmful to me, he had a large family that loved him very much. And if he didn't return home, I would never forgive myself. Ever. I couldn't imagine greeting his parents and explaining what happened. I'd burst into tears on the spot.

Finally, we reached a clearing where we heard a voice, almost  _too_ familiar for comfort, talking to itself. We hid behind a tree, our weapons clutched tightly within our grasp, watching Plaxum stroll into view. Suddenly, Lance stuck closer to me, his arm linking with mine, hiding behind my body. And then I knew why.

Her scent was strong. She was an Alpha, and even her physique said so. Dressed in the same deep blue as Lance, there was no doubt that she was looking for him. I had to take care and keep him away from her. I wouldn't let anyone else go near him if I had the choice. She had plenty of cuts and bruises along her cheeks, and she carried a sword that swung at her side, held with her right hand. Lance trembled beside me, his eyes gazing at me, glazed with fear.

"Don't let her take me, Keith," he whispered. The fright in his face made my heart shatter.

"I won't," I whispered. "Stay put."

Plaxum halted, the hand holding her sword tightening, her eyes searching her surroundings, as if she'd pinpointed her prey. Her eyes were wild and daring, piercing into everything she gazed upon. The whole jungle may as well have gone into hiding at her presence, because she could kill with her glare, and the tension that seared around her, spreading like wildfire. 

Pidge's breath hitched. She didn't seem so sure about this, but Matt took this as an opportunity. With three Alphas in the vicinity, he could wipe out Plaxum and I at the same time; I was thankful I was on his side. While he and his sister peered around the trunk, weapons in hand, he whispered something reassuring into her ear. I hoped, for our sake, they'd leave Plaxum alone. Fighting would be useless since she looked incredibly powerful, and even though I believed in Pidge, I didn't think she'd be strong enough to take on a female Alpha. Lance gripped onto my arm with trembling fingers. His heart pounded against my bicep. I had to do whatever it took to keep him from being killed.

I couldn't just head out there, either. I had nobody else to emotionally and physically protect Lance.

Matt soon crept across to where I was stood, holding his machete with a confident grin plastered onto his face. He and Pidge were so determined to go home, it was as if nothing was ever going to get in their way. Pidge held an arrow between her lilac fingers, her dilated, black pupils looking slightly more gleeful, heavy with determination. As she grinned, her sharp canines protruded her gums. These two were unstoppable.

"We're going to go out and lure her away," Matt whispered, pushing his spectacles onto his nose. "Watch my sister's back. Be on the lookout for anyone else, we're not quite done yet."

"Be careful," I grinned. "Take her down."

I gave Pidge and her brother a small high-five before watching them take on Plaxum, who was reaching for some fruit hanging from a low branch. Lance's quivering fingers slipped into mine and clutched my hand tightly. There was so much going on, I had to prioritise him over anything else. The fear in his eyes only made me more determined to protect him. I looked at him, squeezed his hand, and peered around the trunk to watch the siblings.

Matt crept over first, his machete grasped with a stable hand. I hadn't seen him kill before and I wondered if he was anything like his sister; if anything, he could be slightly more violent due to his Alpha blood, and learning from a Beta must be easy. Pidge stood beside the tree, her fingers around an arrow, her eyes never leaving her brother. I had been through a lot during the Games, but the air had never been so thick with tension as it was then. I felt my heart hammering in my stomach, with Lance's hitched pants dissipating into the dense, jungle air. His head leaned back against the tree, his head slick with sweat, his eyes lidded, gazing desperately at the trees above. I felt so much pity for him. His hormones were probably wrestling in his bloodstream right now.

Pidge's brother may have caused another cannon to sound, if Plaxum didn't turn around, drawing her sword immediately at his presence. From then on, it was a fury of parrying and defending, blades slashing against one another as they both tried to attack. They had the same physical strength, and although it seemed as if Plaxum appeared stronger, Matt had violent determination in his eyes and I was sure he was never going to give up until his opponent was on the floor. Pidge stood by, focused on the fight, her fingers twitching upon her arrow.

"Why aren't you shooting?" I hissed. "She's right there!"

"Because they keep moving in circles! I'm going to shoot my brother by accident that way!" she whispered. "How about you abandon your Omega and go out there instead?"

I shot her a look. "You know I wouldn't _dare_."

"Shut the fuck up then and leave it to us," she murmured, averting her eyes back to the fight. I could see the fear in her eyes as she watched her brother. It was crystal clear. I knew she wanted to go out there, but these were two  _Alphas_. She wouldn't last a minute.

The two Alphas were anticipated, their bodies filled with pure adrenaline as they swung at one another, blades slicing through the fabric of the air, trying to beat their opponent. Matt was strong. Stronger than he thought he was. The fight continued to be repetitive until he parried her swing and struck a cut right into her side - it wasn't deep enough to cause lethal damage, however.

"Shit!" Plaxum hissed. "You little -"

"Get her, Matt," Pidge whispered, her trembling, scared fingers curling around her arrow.

"Hang in there," I whispered, looking over to Lance. "How are you feeling?"

"Worse," he muttered, closing his eyes, swallowing audibly. "I just- It almost  _hurts_ , Keith."

It took me a while, but I finally knew what he was talking about.

"Your heat?" I murmured. He nodded, biting down on his bottom lip.

His scent was almost stifling, so I lifted my hand and gently clasped his over his gland. After we defeated Plaxum, I had to get him out of here. I couldn't stand to see him suffer any more. All I could hear was the harsh scrape of metal against metal, and the sickening, delicate  _swish_ of their weapons when they missed a crucial shot. With Lance's scent still hanging heavy in the air, I let my eyes slid shut to try and avert my thoughts to something less distracting.

Until Pidge let out a strangled, panicked gasp, rushing to her brother's aid. I turned quickly with a knife in hand watching her dash over to Matt, who was stood with his hands held up, his weapon lying on the floor.

"Keith," Lance swallowed. "Keith, don't you dare -"

I had to help out. Pidge was running far too quickly and a trip at this rate could kill her. Plaxum whipped her head around, glaring at her, before plunging her sword directly through Matt's stomach.

_"Matt! No!!"_

It was the first time I'd ever heard Pidge scream her brother's name with so much intensity and fear, and have it rip my heart out at the same time.

Instantly, as she rushed to her brother's side, I threw a blade at Plaxum as she ran off, hitting her in the nape of her neck. One cannon boomed in the distance but the only thing I cared about was Pidge clutching her brother's hand as she tried to get the sword out of him. Angry, scared tears streamed down her lavender-speckled cheeks, with Matt's bloodstained fingers quaking against them. Lance and I bolted over, kneeling down to take a look. I couldn't believe it. It was so unreal and raw that I just  _had_ to.

"J-just a scratch," Matt hitched, his eyes searching everywhere but us, until he laid them upon his shaking sister. He smiled and tried to laugh, but it came out as a strangled cough instead. "It's not the only time, sis, huh?"

Lance's hands were indecisive. All he could do was kneel and try to compress the wound in Matt's stomach, but it bled so heavily, even  _I_ didn't know what to do. Pidge could barely breathe. Her glasses were tearstained. Her cheeks were peppered with blood.

"You idiot," she cried. "What am I going to do? What am I going to tell mom -?"

"Katie, don't worry," Matt swallowed, his breath hitching. "H-Holts are, are stronger than you think, I promise."

"No," she shook her head, "Matt, you can't die! You have to stay alive, fuck, I can't lose you -!"

Tears welled up in his eyes, and soon enough, they were flooding mine, too. It was heartbreaking watching the scene unfold. Sadness hung in my heart; they were both so close, they practically did anything together, and Matt wasn't just her brother. He was her mentor, her muse - they had to stay together. They  _had_ to. Thunder growled from above, rain fell onto the canopy, before reaching us on the jungle floor, coating us heavily.

"I'm proud of you," Matt whispered. His chest heaved. He was trying his best to stay alive and suddenly, I felt Lance hiding behind my shoulder. He couldn't take it. "I know you can do all of these things on your own and more, Katie."

"I can't." Pidge shook her head. "Not without you."

She bit her quivering lip and let herself cry as the life drained from Matt's lidded eyes. I clasped his other hand, watching him weep. He was such a valuable asset to our team, as well as looking after all of us. I hated the Games. I hated everything about it. I could do nothing about Matt's condition, nor Pidge's sadness, and for once, I felt empty. Truly empty.

"Keith," Matt uttered, in barely a whisper. I lifted my head. "Please take her home."

"What?" Pidge hiccuped. "Matt, I can't go home alone, you know that!"

"Just please take my sister home," he continued. We were running out of time. The tone of his voice struck even more pain through my heart, and even more tears to flood down my cheeks. "Keep her safe, Keith. Please."

"I will," I swallowed. "Thank you for everything."

And at once, while Pidge's hand quivered in her brother's, his eyes slid shut, and a cannon fired over the heavy rain. The weather was loud but the silence between us was deafening. Lance leaned his head on my shoulder, his cheeks stained with tears and the rain, his eyes dull and grey, clutching my other hand. He reached for Pidge's free one and held it tightly. The small circle we had was anything but small in strength.

"What am I going to tell my parents?" Pidge sniffed, her voice raspy with both her new Galra body and her sadness. "I didn't get out there in time, it's all my fault, I -!"

Her voice trailed off into a horrible, unstoppable flood of tears. I didn't know what to do. Everyone needed comforting and suddenly I was the only Alpha, suddenly I had the responsibility of keeping everyone alive. I was so determined to, but right then, all I could do was gaze upon Matt's peaceful state, the lenses of his glasses covered in bloody fingerprints and watery droplets from the rain.

After she fell silent, Pidge moved over to sit with us, and it was the first time we properly held each other to understand what we were going through. It was nothing like a team building exercise, nor a motivational group-hug. It was comfort, which everybody needed, even me. We wrapped our arms around one another tightly and securely. We were an odd number now. It was going to be difficult without Matt.

"I'm sorry, Pidge," Lance murmured, hugging her softly. "I'll be your big brother if you want."

Lance was an affectionate sort. I knew he and Pidge had always been close, but I let him do anything he wanted. It was the Games, after all. I couldn't stop him - in fact, I did the same, taking on the role of a leader, knowing I'd probably do a terrible job. She hadn't grown accustomed to the new affection, and Lance didn't mind, but the small smile that wavered on her face was anything but regrettable.

"Please," she whispered, her voice almost drowned out by the rain. "My name is Katie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~yknow because i did this i might just let you all choose what keith and lance do to one another so comment whatever the hell you want~~


	40. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's healing time. Keith actually enjoys hugs.

Pidge hesitantly let go of her brother's hand as his body was taken by an aircraft sent by the Capitol. The trees swayed, the rain fell harsher, all due to the gusts of wind the aircraft repelled. Before the claw reached down, Pidge picked up her brother's glasses and tucked them into her bodysuit, shielding her face from the rain with her forearm. We took cover behind a tree as it was whisked away, and Pidge got a final glimpse of Matt, before she turned to us, sighing heavily.

"What do we do now?" she muttered.

Both Lance and Pidge looked at me with expectation, searching me for an answer. Honestly, I didn't know. With Matt only just passing away it was difficult to think clearly. Lance looked strained and tense due to his overbearing heat. Pidge's cheeks were blood and tearstained, her fair skin now freckled with lilac. I hated having the responsibility because I was afraid of losing them like we lost Matt. It wasn't new to have responsibility, however, due to the period of time I had to take care of my father.

"I don't know." I swallowed. "Let's find somewhere sheltered to get out of the rain. Get dried off. Find some food. We're not done yet."

Trudging through the rain was both exhausting and horrible. It smelled like wet leaves and mud and it didn't help that the bodysuit was made of swimsuit material, because it took longer to dry, and it felt disgusting and humid when it actually dried. Lance kept close to me, trembling against my side as he tried his best to keep himself under control. I felt so much pity for him. I'd sort him out as soon as we reached somewhere concealed, because I couldn't have him suffering like that.

"He was going to turn twenty-two, soon," Pidge murmured. "He's been so good to our family. I'm going to miss him so much. I already do."

I patted her back. "We'll miss him too. Don't worry about gushing about your brother, you're allowed to if it makes you feel better."

"It'll just make me sadder," she looked up at me, smiling gratefully. "But thank you, I'm just going to have to get used to it."

"And it wasn't your fault, either," Lance piped up. "He saved you, Kate."

"I know," she sighed. "Let's just find some kind of roof for our heads."

Pidge didn't talk about her brother and I respected that. I knew that she was still in the first stage of grief, and luckily enough she was a Beta, and could handle her own emotions by herself. She stuck close to me, just like Lance did, and it was probably due to my Alpha pheromones. I always seemed approachable due to the hormones being released, but I felt completely contrary. Maybe they thought I was the new leader because I was stronger. Lance was probably stronger than me, if it weren't for his heat.

I looked over to him to check on him, and it was almost as if he'd been suppressing it for so long he was about to burst. His legs wobbled while we walked, trying to catch up with his hand clutching my arm tightly.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, my voice almost drowned out by the rain. "Do you think you can last any longer?"

Lance shook his head. "I literally feel like I'm going to die if something doesn't happen soon."

I sighed heavily, following Pidge into a cliffside cave that offered dryness, warmth and privacy, for us to use while the rain settled. I didn't even know if Lance trusted me enough to help with his heat. It didn't seem fair on him; I didn't want to lose him like that. Not that the Gamemakers would care and give him a suppressant. We ran out of the ointment ever since he used it while I was unconscious.

Lance and I headed inside the cave while Pidge concealed the entrance with a veil of leaves. Today had been such a long day and I longed for night to come, just to get it over with. Pidge needed time to heal. We all did. The cave was spacious and humid, but not as grossly close as the jungle was. I took my hair out of the ponytail and ran my fingers through it, painfully tearing at every knot until Lance got so annoyed, he pushed away my hands.

"Let me do it," he muttered, delicately brushing my hair with his fingers. He was so gentle, every knot was removed effortlessly. I relaxed against him, sat between his legs with my back leaning on his chest. His scent was so overwhelming I felt my mind go foggy. I couldn't let my guard down now, especially when they both needed my comfort.

Pidge sat on the opposite side, cleaning her brother's lenses with her sleeve. Her face didn't show any particular emotion at all, but I knew, that inside, she was completely destroyed. Lance and I didn't speak to her unless we were spoken to. We had to respect her personal choices.

"It's going to be weird at home," she sighed. "I mean, I'm purple, it's already weird, right?"

Despite her attempts to smile, even joking about her appearance made her feel worse. In the end, she crawled over and timidly wrapped her arms around me. She was so emotionally strong for a while, and this must've made her crumble from the inside out. I held her while she wept, feeling Lance's arms around my waist and his nose in the nape of my neck.

"I know," I whispered, rubbing her back. "Shh, it's not nice, believe me. I know."

After dealing with my mother, I'd realised I could empathise with Pidge a lot better. I could understand her pain and comfort her around that, too. I also adored how Lance was trying to reassure me at the same time. It was as if we'd forgotten about the Games solely to be there for one another. Pidge looked up at me, her eyes still a terrifying black-purple haze, the emotion still visible in her gaze.

"I forgot about your mom," she sniffed. "How did you cope?"

"I just did the best I could," I replied, comfortingly rubbing her arm. "I had to get on with what I was doing as usual, but I had to take time to grieve. I still do. I had no time when I took care of my dad, but grieving is healthy, and so is crying."

"I guess," she wiped her cheeks and rested her head on my chest. I was in the middle of a needy Omega in heat and an upset Beta, and I didn't mind a bit. It was a chance to be comforting for once, and I genuinely enjoyed it, because I needed the comfort too. Lance tugged me closer towards him. I felt his warm lips on the back of my shoulder, and Pidge's on my jawline, even if she didn't intend to.

"You're making me jealous," Lance whispered.

Pidge moved her head, leaning it against my collarbone. "Sorry."

I laughed a little bit. "You can't abuse my warm Alpha blood, I'm not a teddy bear."

The two of them giggled, clutching me tighter. It was the comfort that we all deserved, even though the scents of Lance and I hung prominently in the air, Pidge didn't seem to mind. Her nose was still blocked from crying.

Thinking of a plan seemed futile right now, and all we wanted to do was rest. After a while, when the rain ceased, Pidge fell into a slumber against me, her arms relaxed and hanging at my sides. Lance was on the brink of falling asleep, hence the head-nodding and gentle whimpers in my ear. We'd all cried ourselves into pure exhaustion and sleep sounded so heavenly; I closed my eyes to rest them, ready to fall asleep whenever.

"Keith," Lance whispered, his chin upon my shoulder. He was trying to be as quiet as possible to prevent Pidge from being disturbed.

"Mm?" I answered, opening a lazy eye, even if he was behind me.

"I don't think I can take it any more," he murmured. "Do you think the hormone in my wrist will still work?"

"Mm, can we try later?" I yawned. "Try and sleep it off."

"Can't, I'm in your scent gland and it's too strong."

"Then move your head," I smirked. "It's not that hard."

Of course I knew that it was difficult for an Omega to sleep when hormones were surging through his body at light speed. I covered the gland with the fabric of my bodysuit and let him rest his chin back there, his lips kissing my earlobe. Sudden shivers made me jolt in surprise, almost waking Pidge up.

"Thank you," Lance smiled, his voice oozing with warmth and tiredness. "You're the best, Keith."

Their grip never loosened on me as they both fell asleep against me. I felt like I could take on the role as a leader with these two. They were still part of a family back home, the Games hadn't made them violent, or anything absurd. Pidge just had fluffy purple ears that tickled my chin as she slept, and Lance was clingy due to his heat. Despite that, I wanted him to be clingy, anyway. I adored it. Feelings were better when I was tired, and there were no cameras to peer in to see what we were all up to.

As I fell asleep myself, I grew accustomed to having them both near me, and ensured that Pidge was out of the way of my scent gland. I'd already claimed Lance, and he was mine. I just had to provide her with enough comfort. For once, I enjoyed being an Alpha for the reason of being warm, comforting, and having the strength to give someone the hug they needed.

If anything, I was closer to Lance, and I was providing Pidge endless comfort and support. She missed her brother. We all did. But she didn't stir in her sleep, and she didn't twitch, either. I really was a teddy bear of some sort.

A few hours later, we were woken up by the sound of the anthem booming through the arena, and we all scattered outside to look at the Fallen. We clutched Pidge close as Plaxum's face appeared first, and then her brave Alpha brother, smiling ambitiously, displaying his District underneath. Surprisingly, she didn't cry, nor whimper.

"I'm happy he's not in pain," Pidge whispered. "Maybe I could try and use electricity to bring him back, who knows."

"That's a big feat, Pidge," Lance said. We entered the cave again and led down on a few flattened backpacks to cushion the uncomfortable stone. I assumed the teddy-bear Alpha position, feeling Lance curl up to my side, his leg draped over my waist, his head upon my chest. Pidge sat to the side looking down at us.

"The Capitol could make it possible," she sighed. "Otherwise, I'll just have to get used to the knowledge that he's really gone."

A couple of silent minutes went by. It was difficult to discuss and even more difficult to stay quiet. Luckily, Pidge broke the ice, leaving Lance to remove his draped leg.

"Can I sleep with you guys?" she whispered meekly. "You seem comfortable."

I opened one tired eye and lifted an arm so she could curl up too. Lance took advantage of my neck; I felt him smiling into it as he fell asleep. Pidge propped her head upon my chest, her hand on my stomach.

"Thank you, boys," she muttered. "I'm a pain in the ass but I'm grateful."

I smirked. "Don't you worry about it."

Sleeping in a huddle was a lot better than sleeping individually, and since the cave was so isolated and concealed, we didn't bother with sleep schedules, and decided to get a full nights sleep for once. With a couple of kisses upon my cheek from Lance, and a thankful, friendly peck from Pidge, I fell asleep feeling happy and wanted.

"He's my Alpha. Mine," Lance chuckled tiredly. "You're not allowed to kiss him."

"I am if I'm a friend!" Pidge protested. "It was just this once."

"Both of you," I muttered. "Go the fuck to sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at these fuckin softies


	41. Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people need more things than others. Sometimes they're not 'things' at all.

The warmth that I woke up to was unbelievable. The two of them, Lance and Pidge, were draped over me like some kind of human blanket and it didn't bother me one bit, partly because I was half-asleep and comfortable. In fact, I would have fallen back into my slumber if I hadn't realised we were in the Games, and being wary was a priority, so I attempted to stir them until Pidge grunted in discontent.

"Five more minutes, fuck you, Keith," she groaned, sitting up to stretch. "Wait, how many are left?"

Lance tiredly wrapped his arms around my waist and tugged me closer to have me for himself. Pidge stood up, bent backwards until her spine popped, letting out a sigh of relief when she felt satisfied. I looked down at the gentle ocean-blue eyes gazing up at me sleepily, eyelids still drooping. His scent was getting unbearable and we either had to find somewhere to get clean, or just hope for another ointment to arrive.

"Six, I believe," Lance sat up, pushing his fingers through his hair. "Did we all get a full eight hours for once?"

"I think so." I yawned, reaching for the band to tie my hair up. Instead, Lance reached for it, sitting behind me to trail his fingers through my tousled bedhead. It felt like such a sweet gesture that I couldn't help but tilt my head back to help him. Pidge stretched forwards, side-to-side, as if she was trying to get an ache out of her back.

"You guys stink," she scoffed. "I'm surprised you're not all over each other."

Lance chuckled behind me and I rolled my eyes. Dealing with a needy, clingy Omega in heat wasn't that bad, but sometimes I was concerned about him. I didn't know how hormones worked in his body. I just needed him to tell me his condition every so often. While Pidge rummaged through the backpack to find something to eat and drink, Lance's gentle fingers tugged and pulled at my hair. Whatever he was doing, he still hadn't used the band, so a ponytail probably wasn't today's hairstyle.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"I'm okay, I think," Pidge sighed, taking a long sip of water. "It just feels like there's something missing. I don't really want to cry any more, y'know?"

"I know the feeling," I replied. A tight tug at my hair sent me wincing, and Lance muttered a small apology. "Can I have some water?"

I took a couple of large mouthfuls of water and closed the cap for Lance to use. Pidge then threw me a banana for breakfast but I didn't eat until Lance was finished. I didn't want to ruin his masterpiece.

"Matt used to do my hair," Pidge shuffled over to watch Lance. "He used to braid it a lot and it used to piss me off, but it was sort of therapeutic for the both of us."

"And you cut it," I snorted. "You just didn't like having it styled."

"Nope," she laughed. "It was horrible. So I grabbed the scissors from the stylist, dashed to the bathroom, tied it up, and cut it off."

"How brave," Lance chuckled. "I bet your stylist was pissed."

"She actually didn't mind, she just cut away all the messy parts," Pidge shrugged. Her eyes never left my hair, and I started to feel intrigued about what Lance was trying to do. The small tugs of my hair didn't  _feel_ like a ponytail, and he hadn't put the band in yet.

"I have to braid my sisters' hair for school, which isn't a pain, but none of them can sit still," Lance giggled. "My older brothers don't do it but they also nag me about my hair, too."

"Your hair is fine, I'm sure," I snorted. "At least you actually get yours cut, I don't think my District has a stylist."

"Well, Kogane, it's a good job I have the experience," Lance laughed, finally tying my hair and securing it with the band. He then shuffled to the front and tucked the usual strand of hair behind my ear. It was always that strand, and I always had a soft spot for him twirling it in his fingers. "There, hopefully it'll stay together."

I patted my fingers against my head to find out what he'd done. A small braid wound around the side of my head until it reached a tight, high ponytail at the back. My hair had grown longer than I thought it did and even Pidge was a fan, her fingers smoothed the braid, a little smile widening her lips.

"It's really cute," she grinned. "Brings out your jawline."

I scoffed, taking a bite out of the banana. "I'm not cute."

While Pidge got up to peer out of the cave, bow and arrow in hand, Lance reached for his breakfast and tidied up the style he's customised my hair with. I felt honoured to be his guinea-pig when it came to hair. He probably had to deal with all the grime on it too, but I bet he didn't mind.

"So there's just two left, huh," Pidge sighed. "Guys, if it really is four, we could go home today."

"Four seems too generous," Lance said, with a mouthful of water. "Are you sure they might not change the rules?"

I looked at him. "I mean, mates are a thing, right?"

"I can't wait to go home," Pidge sighed. Her pupils weren't that terrifying any more. Her irises were amethyst, almost like mine, but they seemed to glow in the dark, speckled with the venom the wasps injected into her. Her ears drooped, and the purple speckles upon her skin still remained. I wondered if her entire body was covered. "I can't wait to -"

_"Good morning, Tributes. Today we will be hosting a very, very special event at the cornucopia. There will be a feast, containing necessities you may need. I'm sure all of you have something you require, and they may not just be weapons. Good luck, and on behalf of the Altean and Galra government, may the odds be ever in your favour."_

"Your scent blocker," I gasped, looking at Lance. "We have to go. We have to pick it up to help him with his heat -"

"Keith Kogane," Pidge snorted. "Do you think, that  _you_ , an Alpha, who's already scent-marked an Omega, who, by the way, is in heat, should leave this cave?"

Lance bit his lip to stifle his laughter. It was a stupid idea, but if I was the strongest here, I had to race to the cornucopia to grab things to help Lance. We were from three different Districts which means we'd receive three items from the 'feast,' unless it's a trap altogether. Pidge pulled on a backpack and swung her arrows onto her shoulder.

"You need to stay with Lance," she muttered. "His scent is far too strong. We'd get detected, and without you, we won't be able to protect ourselves."

I sighed. "Can we not all go together?"

"It'll be a bloodbath," she shook her head. "Look, I'll get all of our backpacks and come straight back, okay? Maybe go and find somewhere to wash your scent off, or find something to mask if. You both stink of sweat and yourselves."

Protecting Lance was my main priority, so of course I was on board with her idea. I just didn't want to lose Pidge, too. I would hate for her parents to know that they've lost their children to something so heartless. When Lance and I finally gave in, we gave her a close hug, wishing her luck.

"Be careful," I muttered. "Stay safe. Always look out for danger."

"I will," Pidge smiled, pushing off our fussy gestures. "I'll be back soon."

And just like that, she sprinted into the thick jungle, the heat pouring into the cave as the veil of leaves parted. The next thing Lance and I had to do was find somewhere to clean ourselves off. Likewise, even if Pidge left, we still had our own scents for us to be found with. While Lance picked up the weapons, I grabbed the backpacks and destroyed any evidence of us being there, before we walked back into the jungle on the lookout for a river or some sort.

"I hope my backpack contains something valuable," Lance murmured. "It better not be any useless shit like bandages."

"We have enough bandages," I laughed. "I bet mine contains cologne, like the weird one I found back in the Tribute quarters."

Lance widened his eyes in disbelief, slicing down a vine that hung in his way. "Is that what you wore to the party?!"

"Yeah?" I replied. "I smelled like that horrible soap in the showers and that wasn't going to attract anybody."

"Keith." Lance muttered. "That cologne contained Alpha pheromones, you idiot, no wonder... fuck, I feel like an idiot."

"Why?" I asked. I was getting restless just having him next to me. I couldn't wait to get that scent off him. 

"Because," he scratched the back of his neck meekly. "You must've felt so awkward with the bed scene and everything. Do you even like me now? It's my fucking scent and I'm sure you only -"

I grabbed his hand and clutched it close. "You know, I'd never cried so much before, back in the Tribute quarters. And most of the time, was because I discovered that it hurt to be away from you and have to deny everything in front of- do you smell that?"

Lance dropped my hand and frowned, trying to search for the scent. "Are you getting roses?"

I nodded. It seemed way too strong to be real, and I was sure that roses were an uncommon flower to be found in the jungle. We kept walking, trying to follow the scent - it was strong enough to mask Lance's scent, which I was thankful for. But it was so peculiar and out of place, I couldn't help but think it was intentional. As we walked, we were heading deeper into a dark part of the jungle, completely concealed by leaves and trees. More flora appeared, coating the area in pinks, reds and yellows - even purple petals made an appearance.

"Purple roses?" Lance murmured. "Aren't they - they're royal roses, right?"

I shrugged. The whole flower had been abandoned and the petals had been scattered around the floor at random. The scent grew stronger, as we approached a large veil of vines and leaves, the heat rising significantly. Lance didn't hesitate and pulled away the veil, revealing a large hot spring, smothered with purple petals and completely laced with the scent of roses and musk. We both gasped. It was strangely beautiful, and at the same time, I was suspicious of it.

"Well?" Lance grinned. "Shall we?"

"Wait," I muttered, watching him unzip his bodysuit. "Are you sure its not poisoned or anything?"

"Look at you, taking precaution," he laughed, slipping his arms out of the sleeves. He tore off the bandage on his arm and threw it onto the floor, revealing baby-pink scars underneath. I sighed in frustration, both sexual and otherwise. "Come on, we both stink, we might as well smell of roses instead."

Lance threw his belongings to the floor and kicked off the rest of the bodysuit, his skin shiny with sweat, the tight-fitting Capitol underwear we'd been given specifically showing off his tones backside and thighs. I folded my arms and crossed my legs, pouting, frowning at him. He was so pretty. So perfect. He let out a huge sigh of relief as he lowered himself in, the water just about settling above his waist. He seemed fine.

"What are you waiting for?" he winked, reaching out his arms. The steam from the water rose lazily, idly - it seemed so relaxing and alluring at the same time. "C'mon, Kogane, don't be a pussy."

"I'm not a pussy!" I hissed, kicking off my bodysuit and stepping into the warm water of the hot spring. I bit my lip. Lance's reaction just didn't do it justice - I had to bite my fist as the scent of rose poured into my mind, as well as Lance, who looked far too alluring with steam making his body a little more dewy-looking. We were alone for the first time in a while. We felt around for something to sit on, until we found a small sturdy surface.

"We just need bubbles and then it'd be like the jacuzzi I have back at home," Lance closed his eyes, tilting his head back with a pleased sigh. "Can we stay here for the rest of the Games?"

The relaxation was just what I needed for my aching muscles and the swell I had forming in my gut, but no matter how hard I tried to distinguish Lance's scent from the roses, I was only drawn closer to him. He looked gorgeous with his hair tousled and stuck against his slick forehead, his eyelashes fluttering as his eyelids closed. 

"I'd like that," I looked up at the canopy concealing our privacy from above. "Feeling clean yet?"

"Actually, since we're alone," Lance chuckled darkly, shuffling closer to me, his lips against the shell of my ear. I was going to lose all control. "I don't think it's the scent making me dirty."

"Alone, huh?" I grinned, my mind foggy with both the scent of roses and the hot steam embracing our close bodies. "Why, what's making you dirty?"

"You," he growled. "Do you not understand how hard it is to control myself when you're in my view every fucking time we go out exploring? Even without the scent and you being an Alpha, you're- you're so  _fucking hot_ and it's so unfair!"

"Stop whining," I winked. "You're so needy."

"Shut up," he snapped. "I fucking hate you."

"How much do you hate me, Lance?" I gave him a shit-eating grin, feeling my stomach burn with passion already. His hand was already on my thigh, his eyes locked onto mine, heavy with rage-induced lust. 

Instantaneously, he gripped my left cheek with his hand and pulled me in to his needy lips, kissing me hard, and this time none of us pulled away. My heart and mind were on fire as he tugged me closer, closing the space between us, our hot bodies slick and sweaty against one another. At this point, I didn't want his heat to end, I adored this side of Lance so much I almost begged for it. 

I delved past his lips with an eager tongue, lavishing all of my lust and love into kissing him, feeling his hands smooth over every little bump and ridge of muscle on my stomach and chest. I had to get closer. There was no way that this was enough and I had to have  _more_. When his hands started cupping my neck and feeling my burning pulse, I swept my leg over his lap and let him pull me closer. I never let go of him, or his taste. I began tugging at his damp, chocolate hair, earning a loud moan from his hot, panting mouth.

We finally broke away, nose-to-nose, a string of saliva hanging between our needy mouths. He gazed at me with such allure in his eyes I almost forgot where we were.

"Still hate me?" I muttered, watching his chest heave. I raised my hands to his wrists and held them.

"So much." Lance breathed. I grinned, bringing his wrists down for them to lay in my lap. However, I'd pressed a little too hard, activating the hormone that suppresses his heat.

"I'm sorry." I swallowed. "Oh God, this is so embarrassing -"

"Why are you sorry?" Lance purred, his quick fingers walking their way up my thigh to cup the bulge in those annoying, tight shorts. His eyes almost glowed with hormones and suddenly, I didn't think I suppressed it. With the way he kissed and sucked at the swollen gland in my neck, I knew I'd added to the fire in his mind. It wasn't a suppressant any more. 

"N-no reason, I -" I breathed, thumbing at his waistline. I couldn't let him take over  _again_. I brought his head back up with my fingers wrapped around his neck, a shit-eating grin plastered on my face. "How about we do something about your heat, hm?"

A sharp squeeze sent my voice trailing off into a low moan. I had to get better at being dominant - Lance was hitting weak spots faster than I was. With a frustrated sigh, I pulled his hands out of the water, held them above his head, and leaned in so close, I could've kissed him. I aimed for his ear instead. If he could arouse me with his husky tone, I could do the same. 

"Ah, ah, ah," I grinned, gently pushing my knee into his groin, earning a shaky moan. His heaving chest amused me. He shook with so much arousal that he may as well have been drunk with it. "Who's your Alpha?"

"Y-you," he breathed. I'd get him out of the water soon. I was having far too much fun teasing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm to my pal its_a_compliment_i_swear for the hot spring idea, ily <33
> 
> (if you guys have any other ideas such as additions to the arena or bonuses you'd like to read, leave me a comment ;^)  
> also on that note, regarding the next chapter is probably going to be incredibly nsfw - leave me stuff you'd wanna read about! these can also include kinks you headcanon them with ;^)
> 
> thank you all for being so incredibly patient with me, just to get to the moment we've all been waiting for ;););)
> 
>  
> 
> who left the purple roses?


	42. Praise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about time they did something for Lance's heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy your smut, sinners
> 
> THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO GAVE ME IDEAS
> 
> IN FACT THANK YOU TO YOU ALL //HUGS AND KISSES

His lips never left mine. Despite attempting to get out of the hot spring we were drawn to each other so much that even a small distance had me experiencing withdrawal. He was such a drug to me and I _needed_ him to live. To function. His hot tongue swept along my teeth and gums, furiously battling mine, snaking in and around my own desperate tongue while his hands shakily roamed my chest. My fingers threaded through his hair until I'd realised I'd left my gloves on - I tore them off, not leaving Lance's wet lips, getting back to pushing my hands through his damp locks.

Everything was so breathless and needy. I opened a lazy eye to see his brows furrowed, completely invested and hypnotised with lust. His dark eyelashes fluttered while his hands cupped my neck and tugged me closer, deepening the kiss, forcing a moan to slip through his lips. Our hips snapped and squirmed against one another, worsening the heat between our legs and the swell in my gut. His scent was driving me wild and even though I couldn't get enough, I wanted to drag him out of the hot spring myself and claim him as my own in a different sense.

Thus, I broke away, causing him to pull me with defeat twisting his face.

"Come back," he whimpered, angling his face closer. "I love the feeling of your lips on mine."

I gave him a small grin, before aiming for the gland in his neck and sucking as gently as I could, encouraging the release of more hormones pouring like lava into his bloodstream. Lance bit his lip and dug his nails into my back, letting out a small whine of my name. I loved the way he said it. It was going to become unbearable if we stayed here, but biting and bruising his neck was suddenly my favourite thing, and suddenly I didn't want to leave. I sank my teeth into his shoulder, my canine only gently grazing his swollen gland, before he tensed.

 _"Keith,"_ Lance whimpered. "Hey- _nggh-_ no biting..."

Rules were made to be broken and I gave his flushed, tanned neck and chest a couple more nips and kisses, feeling him clutch me closer. I sank further into the water, worshipping his gorgeous, godlike body with more tender kisses until I reached his nipples. With a brief look at his desperate face, the sweat beading upon his forehead and the steam making his honey skin slick and shiny, I drew a small line along his left nipple, earning a tiny whimper from above.

"You're not f-fair, you _know_ they're sensitive!" he murmured. "Stop teasing- _haah, oh my God -_ "

I chuckled quietly. "Do I?"

"Yes!" he whimpered. I changed my tongue movements to subtle sucks, watching his determined expression waver. "I'm in h-heat- _Keith!"_

"You're so cute when you're in pleasure," I cooed, kissing his chest, purple bruises blossoming into budding bites. I raised my head to meet his, cupping his chin and giving his quivering lips a kiss. "What do you want me to do?"

"You know what I want!" he breathed. He was getting adorably restless. "I hate you."

With a devious grin, I walked my fingers down his heaving chest, the steam dancing around my wrist, until I reached the bulge in his skintight shorts. After a couple of sharp squeezes, Lance began bucking his hips into my still hand. His ocean eyes stormed over, his pearl-white teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

"I thought you hated me," I cooed. "I'm going to ask you again. What do you want me to do?"

Lance swallowed audibly as I palmed his length. "Keith," he breathed, "I-I want -"

"You're big," I muttered, thumbing the outline of the head. The shorts were so tight I could make out everything. "For an Omega, I mean."

His cheeks flushed fuchsia, almost as pink as the flowers surrounding us. His hands quaked, unable to decide where they were going to lie. I knew there was some sort of request within him. I was his _Alpha_ , after all. I can't believe I'd condensed the flirt from District Four into a panting, whiny mess, just by kissing him. Since he fell silent, I gave his length another hard squeeze, earning another quivering moan from his lips.

"Fuck me," he panted, his voice dripping with desperate lust. "Please, please, Keith, I can't -"

"Good boy." I lifted his head by his chin, angling his head to look at me. "That wasn't that hard, was it?"

Lance shook his head, never breaking eye contact. "Please don't go gentle," he uttered, in barely a whisper. "A-Alphas -"

"Do you think I look like a gentle person?" I chuckled darkly. "Lancey, you must know already that I'm not gentle."

"Then can we get out of here now?" he begged, passion pooling in his eyes. "I just want you to fuck me like the Alpha you are -"

I quickly hopped off his lap and snatched my bodysuit from the floor, pulling it up to my waist with the sleeves hanging at my sides. I helped Lance out of the water, our bodies trembling from the heat and overbearing arousal, before we grabbed our belongings and ran hand-in-hand back to the cave. The humidity of the jungle only added to our neverending need for each other and all I was focused on was fucking the heat out of him; I don't think I'd ever ran so quickly, or so desperately in my life. The cave was almost _inviting_ due to the privacy it boasted. As soon as we checked the outside was completely empty - the other Tributes were at the feast - Lance pulled me in by my wrist hard enough to leave a burn.

We were breathless for the umpteenth time while peeling off our suits, kicking them to the floor to provide comfort. We emptied the backpack with haste, our belongings pouring out carelessly onto the stone floor, our shaky breaths echoing through the cave walls. The heat of my blood was unbelievable. I was sure, despite the fogginess in my ears, I could hear my pulse record bleeping at a million miles per hour.

We were down to our chafing, skintight shorts. I grabbed Lance and pressed him against the cold wall, relishing his lips in a breathy, open-mouthed kiss. Our hips snapped and crashed, pressing our heats against one another, feeling the smooth grind from the thin fabric of the shorts.

Once Lance moaned past my lips I couldn't take it any more - I grabbed the waistline of his shorts and tugged it down, immediately sinking to my knees. I had to please him as much as possible, because not only did he need it, he _deserved_ it, and I was his Alpha, and the only one who could completely fulfil that need. I looked up at his desperate, somewhat surprised gaze. His hands slowly found my hair, almost pulling the braid loose. He curled his fingers in my ponytail instead, not daring to break his creation.

"You really are pretty, huh," I grinned, lovingly kissing his soft thighs. "No wonder you earned so many roses."

A small smile curled his pink lips, rounding his flushing cheeks. "Y-You think I'm pretty?"

I nodded, glancing at his throbbing length. He was quivering with both nerves and anticipation and I adored it. He was merely wrapped around my fingers and I could do whatever I wanted to him. Pre dribbled down the tip and I rubbed it into his hot skin with a thumb. The fingers in my hair tightened. His other hand stifled all his noises.

"Lance," I murmured, gently thumbing the tip of his cock. I was teasing _myself_ at this point. I didn't know how he could look so hot and delicious at the same time. "Who's your Alpha?"

"You," he whispered, never taking his eyes off me.

"Then take your hand away from your mouth." I muttered. "You're not allowed to stifle yourself, understand?"

He nodded. "Y-yes, master."

I chuckled a little bit. _Master_. "I'm not that skilled to be a master."

With one long lick along the underside of his shaft, he was quivering under my touch and completely helpless to what I did to him. I slid my hand into my own shorts, palming myself to match the rhythm I gave him. Looking into his eyes mischievously, I took him in my mouth, sinking all the way down to the base of his cock, earning a loud moan of my name from above. I couldn't wait until I heard that again and again, louder each time. I lapped and twirled my tongue around the protruding veins, tasting more of him as his pre dripped onto my eager tongue.

"You're delicious," I muttered, sucking generously on the strained tip of his cock, trying to get more out of him. I looked up, his whimpers and moans echoing through the cave. He attempted to stifle himself, but after he realised I'd deprived him of my mouth, he dropped his arm and gazed at me with an apology lacing his eyes. "Good boy."

"C-Can you," he panted, his fingers trembling in my ponytail. "Can you fuck me? P-please?"

I slowly withdrew from him with a loud pop, feeling him tense. "Turn around, bend over for me, gorgeous."

He didn't move until I'd kicked off my shorts, his mouth agape once I'd approached him. With his eyes averting from mine to my groin, I suddenly knew what he was thinking.

"Do you need some prep -"

"No, nope, just -" he placed his forearms against the cave walls and walked himself backwards until he bent over; I'd forgotten how flexible he was when his back formed a perfect arc and he turned his head to gaze at me, panting, his tongue hanging upon his bottom lip. The sight was so lewd I almost felt ashamed for merely looking at him. "Keith, _please."_

I couldn't resist him. I ran my thumb over his slick, wet pucker, gripping his ass with my other hand, giving it a generous squeeze. The way he offered himself to me was so tempting. As I slid my middle digit inside of him, teasing him open, I felt how much his heat had affected him. He was practically _dripping_ with arousal and his scent was so sweet, I couldn't help but drag my tongue along his tight slit, letting his taste soak into my tongue.

"F-fuck," Lance breathed. "You really are a tease, aren't you?"

"Mhm," I grinned, licking my lips.

After tasting him, I wasn't going to be any gentler after he requested that I was rough on him - so I pulled his ass closer, pushing my cock inside, shuddering at the sudden warmth and wetness as his walls clenched around me. Lance tilted his head back and moaned louder than before. I took the opportunity to grab a fistful of his hair as I began thrusting, our thighs colliding with a sting after I'd gathered a quick pace.

His hitched breaths ricocheted against the cave walls as I slammed into him, his back bowing into a deeper arc, my fingers curling tighter in his hair. He'd waited so long for this and I was glad I was the one to give it to him. The adorable little moans that oozed past his panting lips were music to my ears. My name echoed around the cave numerous times, thick with lust.

"Keith," he purred, "Faster, _please..."_

He brought his hands around and rested them on the small of his back, inviting me to grab them and press them against his body. His forehead pressed against the smooth wall while I fucked him thoroughly with a punishing pace, feeling him tighten around me. The yells of ardour eliciting from his needy mouth were gorgeous and almost drove me over the edge.

"You're so perfect," I moaned, lifting him so he was vertical. I grabbed one of his legs and raised it with one of his hands against the wall. Lance tilted his head back to catch my panting lips in a kiss. I lowered my mouth to suck on his warm shoulders, biting down on a few faded bruises, until he mewled in pleasure.

"Can I ride you?" he panted. "I want to- _fuck, haah, Keith!"_

I'd hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of him, and with a small adjustment I began pounding straight into it, leaving him screaming in sheer lust. I kept his head against my shoulder by placing my hand against his neck. The expressions he made were stunning and I only wanted to see more.

"Ride me?" I grinned, sucking on his jugular. I pulled out of him, my length covered in his slick. I'd see more of his faces and be closer than ever to him - I pulled him down and sat against the cave wall, watching him straddle me, his face finding my warm neck. As I felt him slide on with ease, I still had the tendency to buck my hips into him. I loved his face when it contorted in pleasure and I wasn't ever going to miss an opportunity to see it.

Lance's chest heaved as his arms looked around my neck, circling and grinding his toned hips, his eyelashes fluttering. His nose found my scent and he took a deep breath, shuddering in content. His pace was so rhythmic my thrusts soon matched his bashful bounces, and we were curling into one another, with his nails digging into and scraping my back. I stifled myself by biting into his shoulder. I could praise him all fucking day and never get tired. He was way too good at this despite struggling with his heat; we were coated in sex-sweat and smelled of each other and I didn't want it any other way.

With his breathy moans coating the shell of my ear with heat, I generously rubbed his unoccupied cock, his moans getting significantly louder when my thumb reached the tip. I flicked it across his slit a couple of times, relishing his warmth and the noises he made near my ear.

"You're doing so well," I moaned, " _so_ well, taking my cock like such an obedient Omega..."

With a few quick thrusts I felt the coil in my gut tightening, knowing I'd release soon, and I wanted Lance to do the same. I quickened the pace on his cock just to hear him yell my name, his ass clapping against my slick, stinging thighs. We both threw our heads back and yelled in pleasure, my hands trailing up his chest, reaching his bottom lip.

"Suck," I ordered, feeling his wet, panting lips engulf my middle and index digits, his eyes gazing at me with sheer lust. His tongue curled around my fingers eagerly, causing the feeling to shoot all the way down to my groin. The kitten licks he gave them were almost involuntarily. "Fuck, you're not allowed to be this good!"

Lance gave me a hungry grin, coating my fingers in saliva as his head bobbed up and down; I felt myself fidget, almost halting my thrusts when I began to whimper at his talented tongue. When he opened his mouth, strings of saliva conjoined my fingers to his pink lips. The sight of him was so beautiful I had to tug him closer as I came close. We were loud as all hell and I was enjoying it far too much.

Suddenly, as Lance began whining in bliss, something rustled outside. I ceased my movements immediately, clasping one hand tightly over his whimpering mouth, and the other with my index and thumb tightening around the base of his cock. Lance shot me a desperate, wide-eyed glare, seething past my fingers.

"Shh, sh, good boy," I quivered, listening out for any more movement, or if I'd just heard things. Lance's slick, dripping walls were tightening around my throbbing cock and this was going to be so painful if we had to stop now. His whimpers grew louder the tighter I held his dick, despite my palm clasping tightly, he was still far too loud.

"Be quiet."

I'd prevented him from coming and that wasn't fair. Desperate tears began to well up in his eyes the more I held him like that, but as soon as I'd realised nothing was going on outside, I resumed the fast pace both on his cock and inside of him.

"You asshole!" he moaned. "Are you trying to- _fuck, fuck, haah!"_

It was impossible to hold him up because we both shook so intensely. A couple more sharp thrusts and Lance was pushed to the edge, his orgasm spilling out of him onto my stomach and chest. I kept up my pace, holding his body close to me, until my hips snapped and stilled inside of him, filling him with thick cum. I tilted my head back, letting whimpers escape my lips as the swell came, stretching his wet walls, his sudden loud moans moistening the shell of my ear. Lance pressed down as far as he could, trying to fit the knot inside his convulsing cum-soaked walls. His chin laid upon my heaving chest, looking up at me with a tired grin.

"I've been wanting that for so fucking long," he muttered, his eyelids drooping. I hadn't properly knotted before, and even though I was glad Lance was my first, I had fears that I was hurting him at the same time. "Please say we can do that again."

I opened my tired eyes, the energy completely drained from my body. It took a while for me to soften inside of him, but when I did, Lance whimpered at the lack of contact and feeling what I'd released drip out of him. He didn't want to move but I knew we had to put _something_ on for modesty.

"I'll see," I whispered, kissing his forehead. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

"You didn't," Lance winked, raising himself to catch my lips in a grateful kiss. "You were big already."

I chuckled tiredly, idly reaching for my shorts to pull them back on. Lance did the same, crawling back over to lie with me, his head resting on my chest. It was unbelievable. I'd actually found myself a mate despite my argument that they were pointless. By looking at Lance's blissed smile and his fluttering eyelashes, I knew they weren't pointless. I was such a hypocrite.

"I love it when you praise me," he whispered, tenderly kissing the scars on my chest, particularly the large one running down my torso. "Mmh, you're like a little tiger."

I smiled tiredly, feeling him curl up closer, our bodies sticky but warm. "How's your heat?"

"Better." Lance purred, nuzzling lovingly into my chest. I'd condensed him into a kitten and nothing more. He was drawn to me like a mouse on a string, his nuzzles getting even more erratic with adoration, his ocean eyes gleaming at me. "Thank you." 

Once we got comfortable, it was only reasonable to sleep soon after. We knew Pidge was probably safe and sound because a cannon hadn't set off, nor had she returned. I was confident that she was alright. While Lance ceased his nuzzling, he held me close to him and I tenderly kissed his forehead as a little goodnight, despite it being noon. Falling asleep was easy, especially when I had him next to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey my dudes important announcement
> 
> im heading back to school Sept 5th so I don't think chapters will update every day?? ill try my very best!!
> 
> always feel free to send me bonus chapters or one shots if you want to read something particular. come say hi on my tumblr (@pixelpearl), i don't bite! ;^)


	43. Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backpacks are here. Something suspicious is going on.

Lance's body was warm. Comfortably warm. With his soft lips brushing against my shoulder as he stirred in his sleep, smearing drool over my skin, I looked down at him with weary eyes, letting a smile widen my lips. I'd helped him out for once, in a different, more loving way, and I could even see the happiness within his expression by how soundly he slept. The sun trickling in through the veil of leaves cast upon his honey skin, making it glitter, his body almost seeming luxurious. He  _was_ luxurious. Lance was a luxury not even I could afford.

I lifted my head, trying not to rouse him, noticing Pidge had arrived back at the cave, sat against the wall with her bodysuit thrown to the side, her body covered in bandages. Guilt struck my heart immediately. Not only that, but I saw the growing purple patches upon her toned stomach and underneath the garment she wore on her chest. It rose and fell to the rhythm of her breathing, as if she'd just returned. With her glasses askew on her face, lenses tainted with droplets of blood, as well as her legs, I felt awful for not going with her.

"Morning," Lance whispered, taking a deep breath as he woke up, giving my bicep a kiss. I'd began to fall in love with his kisses as quickly as I'd become invested in him.

"It's late noon," I chuckled quietly. Lance closed his eyes and smiled softly, his idle hands snaking around my waist to hold me. "At least I think it is."

"You're finally awake," Pidge yawned. Three backpacks lay at her side, each containing different items that we all needed. "Nobody died so we're not closer to home. I got sliced a few times after realising I'd ran through a bush with thorns."

"Ouch," I winced. "Other than that, are you okay?"

"I don't know," she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, her face pale and harrowing. "I-I think I saw Matt."

"But he's -"

"I know," she sighed, her purple ears drooping in defeat. "But he just- you know the texture of the forcefield? He looked like that."

"Oh, Pidge," I bit my lip, letting Lance rest his tired head on my chest. "They're toying with your head."

"Mhm," Pidge sighed, pushing her spectacles onto her nose. "Anyway, after you guys fucked, do you know how long you were asleep for?"

Lance and I froze. "Half an hour?" Lance muttered.

"Around three hours, Lance, the sun is going down," she murmured, tossing us our backpacks. "Although I would love to have stayed, I had to get your belongings."

I groaned as I tried to reach for my backpack, and Lance ended up tossing it over to me because I was far too comfortable to move. As I took it from him, he leaned in and gave my lips a little kiss. He was getting so affectionate and I wondered if it was because of what we did. Nonetheless, any time he made a loving advancement towards me, I felt warm inside. We smelled beautifully of each other and roses, which was a change from sweat caused by walking for so long, blood, dirt, and our own scents.

"You've made Lance a softie," Pidge snorted, rolling her eyes. "I was going to curl up with you guys -"

"You could have, we're not repelling you," I muttered, opening my backpack.

"- but you both stink of sex and sweat. However, there is some rose in there somewhere, so I'll let you off for now."

"Fine with me," Lance breathed, nuzzling back into my side. "Keith is so good at everything."

"Keith, what have you done to Lance?" Pidge pouted. "Put him back."

I didn't quite know, but it wasn't like I wanted him to stop. I peered into my backpack and found a couple of decent items, including the nutrition bar I ate during training in the past, a water bottle, some wound ointment, and an actual hair tie. I sighed. I already had the majority of those things in our other backpacks, and it was going to be painful carrying so much around. Lance pulled out another ointment without his Omega symbol displayed on the lid, a water bottle, a different-coloured nutrition bar, and a slim, small cylindrical object that he gazed at questioningly.

"What's-  _oh_ ," Pidge bit her lip. "Oh. Lance, that's my backpack..."

"What's this?" Lance held up the metal-looking, green  _thing_. Pidge's lilac cheeks went pink as she snatched it away and shoved it into her backpack.

"N-Nothing," she replied, bashfully giving Lance the correct backpack. "This one's yours."

The boy beside me snorted and looked at me knowingly, grabbing his backpack and sifting through it. There it was, the ointment for his heat, along with some water and a small hand towel. He smiled gratefully and zipped the bag up before baring his neck for me so I could apply the ointment for him.

"What's the point in that if you guys have just..." Pidge snickered. "Fucked?"

"It's to mask his scent and offer a little relief for him," I replied, gently smearing the substance over his neck. "And the hormone in his wrist just makes it worse."

"I see," she tapped her chin, just like her brother did. "Doesn't it seem a little weird? Suddenly that hormone just makes his heat worse instead of better?"

I shrugged. "Maybe he's resistant to it."

"I don't think you can be resistant to hormones." Pidge shook her head. "I don't think I'm supposed to see Matt alive in the arena, either."

I thought for a moment. The idea seemed feasible that all of us were being tricked in some kind of way and I couldn't help but think that it was  _Shiro_. Was he possibly making me suffer for eventually finding Lance and forming a relationship with him? Or actually becoming close with Pidge and her brother? I wasn't sure. As we all pulled on our bodysuits, and Pidge cleaned her glasses, I wondered if there was someone else making it all seem like a coincidence.

"Has anyone else been...a hologram?" Lance asked, his arms reaching behind to zip up his suit. "Or is it just Matt?"

"Nobody's as significant as Matt," I replied. "It seems way too early. It's suspicious."

"What if," Pidge sighed, pushing her glasses onto her head. "What, what if he's not actually dead?"

My stomach churned. "We don't have the science to keep him alive. He was stabbed."

"The Altean government have healing pods," Pidge stressed. "My brother could still be alive and they're keeping him from me."

The very thought disturbed me. The fact that Shiro was up there too keeping an eye on Lance and I already had me squirming with the invasion of privacy - but the cave was completely covered, right? And if Matt was up there - if he  _was_ alive - was he helping? How? I didn't want to know what his motives were and who he was working with, but all in all, the least we could do was hope to go home.

Lance swung his backpack onto his shoulder. "But why would they keep him and not the other fallen Tributes?"

Pidge bit her lip. "Because Matt's a genius."

After gathering our belongings, we left the cave with haste, staring up at the ominous, granite sky that quickly cast overhead. Despite it being noon it may as well have been night with how dark the clouds were; we'd already had a small storm, but knowing the Gamemaker's wishes, and the theory that Matt was still alive, I knew I couldn't trust the clouds this time.

"Let's head back to the beach," I murmured. "We're the last few Tributes left as well as the other two. There's no doubt they're planning something to wash us all out."

To stick together as we travelled swiftly through the tense jungle, we held hands and huddled as close as we could. Lance kept his trident at his side and Pidge her bow and arrow, the arrow between her teeth for easy use. Nerves began to wreck me. I'd had such a good couple of days in the past I'd never thought I'd have, ever, and the upcoming events weren't going to change that. 

Suddenly, as our feet touched the sand, Pidge keeled over, clutching her stomach. She held herself up with the nearest tree, all the blood drained from her face. Lance and I rushed to help her as thunder growled around us, our breathing quickening as we tried to figure out what was wrong.

"Pidge?" Lance snapped his fingers beside her unresponsive eyes. "Pidge? You there?"

She bit her lip, her hand hastily moving to her chest. "I think I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," I huffed. "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay, Keith," she stood up, giving her chest a couple of pats. "Yeah, let's head to the cornucopia."

Lance gave her a concerned glance, before we all chose a stone bridge and began sprinting across, our feet slipping over wet rock, threatening to drop us in. I heard a rumble behind me, and suddenly, the rocks behind me were falling into the water at an alarming rate, and even Lance was running faster, keeping an eye on the falling rock behind him. Pidge made it there first as I stared at the crumbling bridge, hearing their yells from the patch of grass in the middle, their arms outstretched so I could leap if needs be.

However, once the rock began to disintegrate underneath my feet, I knew I had to jump if I wanted to live. The rain began to fall heavily, lightning striking the tallest trees.

"Come on!" Lance shouted, holding out his hand. "Jump for it!"

Without hesitation I leaped as the ground disappeared from underneath my feet, landing in his arms as he and Pidge caught me, dragging me to the grass. Every splash of rain felt like a dagger against my skin as we tried to make it underneath the cornucopia, our bodies completely sodden, Pidge's glasses freckled with raindrops and Lance's hair completely dripping. I didn't know what to do next. 

We couldn't get off.

"Great plan," Pidge nodded. "We're fucked."

The sound of the rain was almost menacingly comforting against the roof of the cornucopia. Lance looked at me with hope in his sapphire eyes, a small, empathetic smile curving his lips. We sat there, the three of us, holding one another's hands for comfort as we embraced the inevitable, if it was ever going to come. I started thinking about home. Even  _Lance's_ family came to mind. I had to get the both of them back home for their family's sake. I didn't matter as much as they did. I was pretty much an adult now, and I knew my father could cope if I wasn't there. Maybe. Maybe not.

"Pidge," Lance piped up. "What was that thing you got in your backpack."

"Well, McClain," she sighed, cleaning her glasses. "It was a vibrator but I don't think I'll be able to use it now that we're in a fucking _storm."_

It was enough to make us giggle, even if Pidge was a Beta, and she didn't necessarily need it. I'd realised, without allies, this would have been unbearable to cope with on my own. Laughing with these two made the storm a little more fun, even if it was going to become dangerous.

"Can I have it?" Lance asked. Pidge shook her head sharply.

"Absolutely not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aiming to do two chapters today ;^)


	44. [BONUS] Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the control panel again.

I stared at Matt's body in the healing pod, hoping we'd get something out of this. His mind was bountiful with knowledge and power and we needed it for Twelve to win. I was obsessed with the fact that, even though Keith may have disobeyed me, I could use Lance as bait, or encourage Lotor to switch up the rules. However, I was a  _mentor_. I didn't have a lot of power in the first place and I only controlled what kind of sponsors Keith and Nyma would have gotten - likewise, what challenges they'd have to face, even though Nyma was already gone.

I couldn't lie to myself. I always had a small soft-spot for District Five's male Alpha genius and I never understood why. We'd applied a quicker stem-cell treatment to heal the deep wound in his stomach, and I couldn't help but feel a little hopeful for him. He had a sister that cared very much about him, and although I was bending the rules of the Games, many years in the past had been worse. When I competed, many things went wrong. I was sure I saw a couple of new Tributes spawn completely out of nowhere.

As I watched Matt's dark eyelashes flutter, his eyes lifelessly gazing right through me, his hazel irises faded to a light cream, I almost felt guilty. I was tearing Keith, as well as his allies, apart. I was hypocritical. I made plenty of friends during training and had to go through the pain of losing them all. I was so surprised when Keith cried, as well as Lance, because they were so stubborn.

Watching Matt die stirred something in all of us, and I was sure the viewers watching from their home Districts were disheartened, too. I'd just never seen so much emotional pain in the Games before - and there had been a lot of mate scenarios, pregnancies - it just seemed different now.

Upon walking back to the arena control panel I heard the familiar, menacing clicks of Lotor's boots as he whisked around the room in his robe, shouting orders and bringing up different cameras on the large screen. As soon as he saw me, he approached me with a grin.

"Ah! How is he?"

"We're still yet to hear his heartbeat but I think he's doing well," I nodded. "How's Keith?"

"Oh, he's doing fine," Lotor laughed, his maniacal gaze never leaving mine. "Pull up Twelve."

I almost cursed when I looked up at the screen.

"Do you like it? I've left the purple petals for them."

Lotor had purposely not put the cameras inside the hot springs he'd created, but the spite I had for him was unbelievable. He really was pushing every nerve in my body to the brink as he stood with his hands behind his back. Through the foliage, all I could see was bare skin.

"We have footage of them for legal reasons, of course," Lotor laughed. "But if anyone's curious we could 'leak' the footage."

"Who would that help?"

"The fans adoring them back home."

"You're leaving them to do  _this_ while Pidge does all the dirty work?" I bit my lip. I couldn't believe this was happening. Lotor tapped his chin.

"Put something inside Pidge's backpack as a reward, I don't care what," he called. "Increase the temperature of the water."

A few minutes later and the duo scampered away back to the cave, their bodies steaming from the hot spring, and Lotor gave himself a small applause.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, folding my arms. I wanted to go and see how Matt was doing.

"You're being unfair to him, so I decided to speed things up," Lotor explained, rocking on his heels. "Didn't you have a young love too, Shiro?"

"No," I lied.

"Are you sure? Because we still have the footage," he chuckled darkly. "I didn't create that bomb, by the way, some General did after becoming careless, or at least I think that's how the story went."

There were no cameras inside the cave, or any hidden areas at all, for that matter. Tributes did need privacy sometimes, however Lotor did have a notion for hidden cameras, and I knew that Keith didn't quite have the privacy he wanted. I sighed, chewing on my lip,  _hoping_ Lotor wouldn't switch to the camera in the cave. He seemed way too delighted to see this all unfold. 

I almost felt bad. Guilty, even. Keith deserved better than what I have and he certainly didn't need me being so harsh on him, especially since he was the only person at home, other than his father. As I bit my lip to stifle my rage, I couldn't really alter anything at all. Lotor, in some sense, despite his ominous appearance and attitude at the start of the Games.

"Make something rustle, let's scare them a little," Lotor laughed, watching the screen. "Perfect."

I had to choose someone else to mess with instead.

"Can we terrify Pidge a little bit? She's getting too confident," I suggested. "Maybe give her a fright? Introduce the jaguar?"

"Not the jaguar," Lotor hummed. "Let's get her mind reeling. Do we have any images of her brother?"

"That's despicable." I hissed.

Nonetheless, even though I felt spite about Keith's decisions, and I wanted to prevent Pidge from becoming overconfident, I didn't want to be another heartless Gamemaker. Maybe I already was one, despite being a mentor in the first place.

* * *

 

He rubbed his hands together before leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs, around the outside of the control panel area. The sound made me jump in surprise because I'd been around Lotor for a day, with barely any sleep because I'd had to keep an eye on Keith.

"Welcome back, Matt," Lotor turned, approaching him with an outstretched hand. "Do you feel any better?"

"I don't feel anything," he replied. "Where am I?"

"Ah, you see," Zarkon's son chuckled, guiding him to the front of the room. "You were just dead in the arena, however, due to the healing pod, you probably won't remember that."

Realisation washed over Matt's pale face, his eyes suddenly widening in fear. "Where's my sister?!"

"Alive." I muttered. "In a storm. Isolated."

"Are you kidding?!" Matt hissed, clutching his stomach. The wound hadn't quite healed. Seeing him made relief sink into my stomach but knowing his sister was still out there, had me on edge. I tried to remember the last time I ever felt relaxed, but I couldn't. I needed a break. "Katie is still out there and you fucking decide to drag my ass inside to heal me? Why couldn't you have just left me dead?!"

"Because we need your knowledge," Lotor explained, pressing his fingertips together as the storm on the screen worsened. The other Tributes frantically ran around the jungle while the allying trio sat underneath the cornucopia, lazily led on the only dry patch of grass in that arena. Matt was fuming, Everything was so unjust about the Games. I didn't blame him.

"What knowledge?" he snapped. "My sister is smarter than I am and she's four years younger."

"She's got your glasses too." Lotor grinned. "So it's either you or her. Do you want to watch her die? I can do just that."

He brought up a model of one of the genetically-modified Galra wasps and increased the intensity of the venom. Matt watched as his sister clutched her chest in agony, catching her breath briefly, before he shoved Lotor out the way and immediately decreased it. I couldn't watch. It was getting far too unfair.

"Fine," Matt mumbled. running a hand through his tousled hair. I pitied him. "Just don't hurt my sister."

While Lotor left with a confident grin, I approached Matt meekly and placed my hand on his shoulder. He'd only been out of the healing pod for a couple of minutes, so he flinched at my gesture, before turning to look up at me, his eyes widening.

"Keith's mentor." Matt bit his lip. "You're the one who hurt him."

"For a good cause gone bad," I sighed. "I tried to warn him."

Matt shrugged, his eyes averting to the screen while he sat down behind a control panel. "What's your name? I feel like I've been told."

"Shiro." I swallowed, peering over his shoulder. He was quick to adjust to controls, his slender fingers quickly tapping buttons until a holographic display lifted in front of him, a blue glow appearing on his skin. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"I don't think it's anyone's fault." Matt muttered, his eyes focused. "Just don't be such a cunt in the near future."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a somewhat needless bonus chapter but you guys deserved it :")
> 
> ~~ill consider your shatt okay~~


	45. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who goes home?

I couldn't help but watch as the water level slowly ascended, menacingly, threatening to drown us excruciatingly steadily. I had no idea where the other three Tributes were. They were probably lost in the jungle because there was no way they could reach the cornucopia without having to swim. Furthermore, the water looked as if it was riddled with dangerous currents and Lance was definitely sure he saw a shark fin at least twice. For now, we protected ourselves from the rain, huddling together for warmth.

"Why is it so terrifying now?" Pidge muttered, wincing when a bolt of lightning struck the ground in front of us, leaving a charred patch behind. 

"It's the finale," Lance swallowed. "And I don't think we're on the better side of it."

"The finale?" Pidge shivered. Betas and Omegas were so susceptible to the cold, colds and flu, both of them were clinging to me like koalas as they tried to sap me of my warmth. Pidge's cold nose nuzzled deeper into my neck, while Lance did the same, taking advantage of the warm area below my ears and tugging me closer to him. Both of them were such babies.

"There are four winners, right?" I clutched them both closer. They also offered great comfort. "So as long as two die, we'll be fine, right?"

"But -"

Screams erupted from the entrance to the jungle as all three Tributes raced across the sand with gallons of water flooding after them like a tidal wave, their legs failing them when they attempted to sprint across the shore. The water levels were rising significantly and we realised we had to move. We all quaked in fear, completely paralysed as we watched the other Tributes get swept away under the water. The ones that survived were quickly pulled in by currents and something else that I didn't want to know.

We listened out for three cannons. They came immediately, signalling their deaths.

"They're gone," Pidge murmured. "Where's the hovercraft to take us home -"

_"Attention Tributes..."_

With haste, we scrambled onto the top of the cornucopia while Lance attempted to grab his belongings. I was so set on keeping Pidge safe that I didn't keep an eye on my own heath. As my feet were swallowed by the raising water, I cursed out of pure fear, watching Lance get cornered, clutching everything he had. As soon as I climbed onto the cornucopia, I reached down, beckoning him to come up.

"Lance, grab on!" I yelled over the growling thunder, my vision blurred as we were battered by heavy rain. "You're going to drown!"

There was still no sign of any type of vehicle  _at all_ and we were starting to get desperate. Pidge was sat, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth with a harrowing grimace upon her face. She looked ill. Terribly ill.

Lance still didn't grab on and threw his trident up there instead. I was starting to get irritated; we didn't need weapons any more. At least I hoped so. The water was now up to his waist and the current almost engulfed him. With one final swing, he shoved his backpack onto the cornucopia and grabbed my hand so I could pull him up. I had to keep both of them alive. I had never felt so selfless in all my life.

"Pidge," I breathed. Lance quivered as he looked down at the steady water. "What's wrong?"

"It burns." Pidge swallowed. "It- It's like my blood is on fire."

"Do you think you can hold out?" I clutched her hand, keeping an eye on Lance at the same time. "Just hold on, Pidge. We're going home."

"Did that voice sound familiar to you guys?" Lance crawled over, completely sodden with rain. Pidge nodded, but she still didn't move from her shaken state.

_"There will now only be two winners of this year's Hunger Games. We understand that mates are important and actions speak louder than words. Thank you for your co-operation..."_

There was a big sigh, as if the speaker didn't want to say the next line. Nonetheless, I was furious. With just three of us left, we all stared at one another, wondering what the hell to do. I couldn't let them both down. I couldn't be selfish any more. Pidge had completely broken down, her worn purple ears drooping in defeat, her lilac cheeks tearstained. Her hand clutched her chest as she cried out in agony, and Lance was no better.

_"...and may the odds be ever in your favour."_

"What the fuck!" Lance breathed. "What, what are we going to do?!"

The rules had been bent far too many times for it to be real, but with the fear threading through my veins, Pidge sobbing her terrified heart out, and Lance trying to think of a plan to no avail, I realised I didn't have a choice, either. The water levels still rose, threatening to swallow us whole. Our pulse records were flashing an alarming red as we looked at one another, sharing the exact same thoughts.

I had to get Pidge home. For the sake of her brother's wishes, and for her parents. She didn't look right, even if the jungle seemed like her home, she'd become something else entirely and I almost missed the comforting hazel in her eyes. Her hair was almost completely purple, and her nails had grown into claws. Her canines were still sharp as ever; her sobs were quiet as she stifled herself with her knees, biting down so hard I thought she was bleeding. Pidge definitely had to go home. Her parents couldn't be without children.

I looked over at Lance, who, although I felt so much for him, I realised he had to go home, too. He had a large family with siblings that loved him very much and the image of his parents watching him suffer on television was enough to tear at my heart. He was so young. Both of them were young. They had proper jobs and were smarter than they thought. Lance had unbelievable strength. Pidge was a genius. I felt my eyes flood as I realised I'd had to make a decision. Both of them needed to go home. I only had my father left, and it didn't seem feasible that he was going to miss me. 

I had to make a sacrifice. It was going to hurt, and I knew I was hurting Lance and Pidge, especially Lance, in the process. I reached behind me with soaked, shaking hands, clutching a knife and aiming the blade at my chest.

"Keith," Lance whipped his head, holding out his hand. "No. You are  _not_ making some sort of sacrifice to save our lives."

"You both need to go home!" I stressed, thunder cracking in the distance. The storm had become severe and it was likely we were going to be forced into the current by gale-force winds. "Both of you have families and pets and siblings and loving parents that'll miss you if you're dead!"

"Are you fucking crazy?!" Lance yelled, standing up to face me, his arm still outstretched. The rage on his face was indescribable. I still held the blade against my chest. Pidge raised herself into a kneeling position, still clutching her chest. "Whatever happened to mates, Keith?!"

"Since when have mates actually mattered, Lance?" I shouted over the storm. I knew I'd said the wrong thing as soon as he grabbed his trident. "We're all hormonal, right?"

"How can you be so fucking selfish!" Lance's voice had never been so loud and I almost felt scared of him. "Didn't any of that matter? The dance? The cave? I _kissed_ you and you think that's fucking  _hormones?!"_

"Put your weapons down!" Pidge yelled, her forearm shielding her face from the violent rain. "I'm not afraid to jump in right now and end it so you can both fucking go home!"

Lance's face dripped with water as his brows furrowed into a frown, his teeth bared, looking just as he did when we fought in the training ring. I couldn't believe we were doing this again. God, I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt. But Shiro was in my head, and Pidge was trying to yell over the storm-- 

"Keith," Lance shook his head, his chest heaving. "Keith, I'm in love with you! And if you have to kill yourself just to make me happy, to make Pidge happy, just after you implied that mates didn't matter, then I guess I'd just have to live with that!"

I didn't even have time to process what he'd said because Pidge had collapsed, her feet dipping involuntarily into the water. I could either keep yelling at Lance or help Pidge, or end this thing entirely, because I didn't know what to do. Lance's eyes were almost as grey as the storm but I still saw happiness in them, despite everything that was going on. Everything in my head had been condensed due to fear. No cannon had sounded to signify Pidge's death, so if she was suffering, I really hoped she wasn't suffering for long. My heart hurt. I'd never had so much responsibility.

"Pidge," Lance breathed, looking behind him. We both rushed to her side, almost slipping on the wet cornucopia roof. Her eyes had completely glazed over, staring up at the granite sky. We made attempts to shake her out of the state she was in, but even as Lance tried to listen for a heartbeat, we both knew she wasn't likely to survive.

"Fuck," I muttered. "Fuck. I was supposed to take her home!"

"We both were!" Lance cried. "What happened to her?! What was in the sting?!"

Her veins were protruding and purple. Her fair skin was now almost completely white, the lilac blotches spreading over her body like a rash. My heart jumped to my throat knowing that somehow, she was still alive, and even Lance knew that. Her heartbeat was registering very slowly on her flickering pulse record.

"What now?" Lance quaked, standing up to look for an escape.

"I can still do it." I muttered. "If Pidge is still alive, and I took my own life, you can both go home."

"I'm not letting you do that," Lance stood, ripping the knife out of my hand. "I'm not letting you be selfish any more."

"Then what the fuck else?!" I yelled. "Both of us are supposed to be going -"

"Who cares!" Lance laughed pitifully. "All three of us are going to die at this rate! We might as well -!"

As he moved his foot forward to approach me, it buckled underneath his quaking body and he slipped to the side of the cornucopia. My heart flew out of my chest as I lunged forward to grip him, laying on my stomach, clutching his wet hand tightly as the current threatened to sweep him away. Lance looked at me with terror in his eyes. I couldn't lose him like this. This was more terrifying than the temple walls closing in. I couldn't hold on to him much longer, so I grabbed his arm with my other hand. It was so difficult to hold on because the current was dragging him away from me.

"It's a little current," Lance heaved, his eyes piercing into mine. "I've been in one just like this before, I-I mean, I also drowned, but..."

"I'm not letting you go." I bit my lip so hard it almost bled. "Don't you dare let go either, McClain."

"I won't," he cried. "C-Can you pull me back up?"

I tried too many times to pull him back up to the roof of the cornucopia, but each time, his fingers would slip out of my hands. Instead, I held him as tight a I could, his fingers slipping ever so often. Lance couldn't go like this. I could distinguish his pained tears from the rain. His eyes were red and puffy.

"Never thought I'd die like this," he swallowed. "You'd think I'd be used to this."

"You're strong," I sniffed. "You're stronger than me, Lance. Even back in training you were stronger than me."

"I remember when," Lance tightened his grip on my arm. "You used to always use that mint soap in the showers and nobody else would. I knew where you were just by that scent."

I tried to smile. "When I found you singing on the roof, I thought you had the most amazing voice."

"I do?" Lance swallowed, coughing up water as his chin dipped below the water. I couldn't even reach for his head to prop it up. "You can thank my siblings for that."

Our foreheads touched as we flinched when another lightning bolt hit the surface of the beach. I'd never been so scared. For all of us. I looked back at Pidge, not even daring to let go of Lance's trembling hands.

"Keith," he muttered. I turned my head to look at him, trying again to drag him back onto the rooftop.

"Yes?" I replied, my eyes searching for something to grab onto. I couldn't move from there. I could be dragged in too.

"Will you kiss me?" his voice was almost drowned out by the surging currents and the angry thunder from above. "Please?"

I couldn't resist the offer, especially since all our lives were on the line. Two Tributes. Pidge could be still alive; right now I couldn't distinguish between cannon fires or thunder cracks. As Lance tried his best to get closer to me, I felt his fingers slipping. Just one kiss. Just one more.

 _Just let me have this_.

We almost touched. I swear we did. I used all of my might to pull him closer to me, but one false pull and he involuntarily let go. The panic I saw in his eyes was harrowing and I tried my best to reach out for him as his arms used all of their strength to get back to me. 

 _"Lance!!"_ I yelled, watching him get lost underneath the waves. He was a strong swimmer. He could get through all of that, surely. He'd been swimming for so long and his lean muscles proved it. I frantically searched the violent waters with my eyes, breath baited, hoping he'd get through it. The current had to end somewhere. My heart was racing, hammering in my chest, and I felt sick with the amount of fear flooding through my hot veins. 

"No, no," I quivered, standing up on the slippery cornucopia roof to try and locate where he'd went. "No, nono, come on,  _please."_

A single cannon fired in the distance. I choked on my breath, tears streaming down my cheeks. The storm never stopped as the hovercraft arrived from above, shining a spotlight over where we were. Pidge's chest was suddenly heaving and I didn't think getting picked up was worth it. I couldn't have won. This wasn't fair. I bit into my fist as I sobbed, glancing again into the water to see if Lance was anywhere at all.

The cannon went off. He wasn't there. My throat hurt as I cried, keeping the braid tied in my hair, caressing it with quivering fingers. I couldn't destroy what he did. I should have listened to Shiro. No kind of pain was as bad as this. I'd made such a stupid mistake and yet it was the best mistake I'd made in my life.

All I wanted to do was feel his lips once more. Just once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well-


	46. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro wants forgiveness and Keith is having none of it.

_"Would you like me to tell him instead?"_

_"Please."_

I knew I was lying down from the moment I woke up. I never remembered falling asleep, but I certainly wasn't lying on sand, or the damp jungle floor. A small bandage sealed my arm where my tracker used to be. A large, red-purple square imprinted onto my wrist made me question everything that went on. I tried to piece together everything that happened in my head, and the further I went, the more dread filled my heart. The mysterious, purple square on my wrist was where my pulse record used to be. It was sore and felt like a broken bone. I stank of sweat and damp clothes.

When I tried to sit up, I made an attempt to take off the bandage on my arm. I had gone through far worse than a small needle entering my forearm and nothing could be as terrible as the Games. By the appearance of the pristine, white room, and the heartbeat monitor beside me, it seemed as if I was hospitalised, even though I had no major injuries. How long had I been asleep? Why was I asleep? There were voices outside my door and I felt uncomfortable listening to them.

Soon, the person who I'd thought was gone entered, and my heart leaped to my throat. Matt walked in, his hands clasped together, a nervous smile spreading his lips. I couldn't believe it. He'd been stabbed in the stomach and he  _died_ in the jungle - how was he alive?! He was right there, in the flesh, walking, talking- 

"I know this is weird," he sighed, adjusting his spectacles. Didn't  _Pidge_ have those? "And I didn't expect to be revived, either. I'm glad I am, but I'm still healing, sort of."

Just seeing him there made me think of someone very significant, and suddenly, I had a small sliver of hope beaming in my heart.

"Where is he." I swallowed, my voice raspy. "Where is Lance."

"I'll get to Lance in a moment," Matt sat down beside me. I didn't want a moment. I wanted to know urgently to see if they'd cared enough to keep him alive. I never saw his body anywhere and it was far too early to declare him dead. "Shiro wants to say he's sorry."

"Sorry?!" I hissed. "Shiro's done nothing but fuck things up! Why has he got you to say that? Why are you even here?"

"Zarkon's son," Matt explained. "He needed my knowledge, apparently, but maybe he has a soft spot for happy endings. I didn't know. I was the one who had to make that announcement right at the very end, merely because Shiro told me to."

"So they used you?"

"Typically, in a sense, yes," Matt sighed. "My sister is still recovering in a wing in the opposite side of the castle."

"So you've seen her?" I asked. "How did she react?"

"She cried." Matt nodded, failing to make eye contact. "A lot. We both did. Lotor had increased the amount of poison in her bloodstream to give the audience back home a scare but I think it terrified me more than anyone else did."

"I'm more scared for your parents," I muttered. I felt so numb. It wasn't quite right without having Lance's scent pressed up against my nose. My eyes welled up at the thought. Matt shuffled closer, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"I know we're both different, but," he began, "I still think you and I are the same. Our entire group depended on us and I was so sure Pidge and Lance had it all. I promise it's going to get better, Keith, there is some good news."

"Is there really any good news?" I laughed pitifully. "Lance is gone."

"We still need to talk to Shiro." Matt patted the space between my shoulder blades. "I think he'd like to apologise to you properly. He has some explaining to do. Lotor has returned to his father's palace at the opposite end of the Capitol. It's just going to be you, me, and him."

"What about Pidge?" I asked, wiping my cheeks. This was so embarrassing. I was showing weakness in front of another Alpha; though I didn't think Matt cared at all after dying, being revived, crying at the sight of his sister, and having to cope with both Lotor and Shiro at the same time. However, I did notice a small twinkle in his eyes whenever he mentioned my mentor. I didn't know whether to comment on it or not.

"Katie's still sort of purple," Matt laughed a little bit. "But she's recovering well. She won for our District, and so did you."

Did Lance win? I thought about returning home to my father, but despite the bountiful riches I'd be greeted with, it'd still feel heavy with dread back in Twelve. I didn't have motivation to go home any more, especially now that Lance- Lance  _couldn't go home._

I felt my heart break all over again as Matt escorted me to the mentor quarters. It was all suspicious and I felt so concerned for Pidge. I hoped she was recovering well, and at least, without any pain. Matt was being far too secretive about Lance and I hadn't gotten any answers out of him just yet. With my cheeks wet and tearstained, Matt pushed opne a door to Shiro's room. He had his face buried deep in a hardback book, his hands quaking, laying down on a plush bed. I felt so much spite for him. He did this. He made us all suffer.

"Where is he!?" I yelled, tearing myself away from Matt's grip. "What have you done?! Why the  _fuck_ are you apologising to me?!"

Shiro folded over a page, his eyes lifting to glare up at me. Matt kept at my side, probably just in case I tried to fight him. I was so used to it now that I didn't care what happened. I'd already fallen in love with someone I shouldn't have and paid the price. I didn't care if he was going to apologise or not. He'd always been a complete dickhead to me, and now that he was standing in front of me, with his arms folded defensively like they always were, I almost spat at him.

"Do you not realise that I tried my hardest to keep you alive, Keith?!" Shiro shouted, his voice just as loud, if not louder, than mine. "I'm apologising because I realised how much everything meant to you. How much Lance meant to you. You did better than I ever did and I'm even envious of you being so protective over your partner."

"Then where is he?" I cried, feeling tears pinprick the corner of my eyes. "If you're still looking for forgiveness you're not getting it."

"I wanted to teach you a lesson," Shiro's eyes narrowed. "Did you obey me once? Not at all. I felt so much spite that I had to do something about it. You had something I'd never thought I'd have."

"So?" I murmured. "Why do you need to teach lessons all the fucking time?"

"So you learn. And you never learned." Shiro shook his head, glaring at the floor. "The two Tribute warning should have been enough. We fired a cannon even though Lance hadn't drowned to make you think he did. It's all television, Keith."

"You're a monster." I bit my lip. "He risked his life for all of us. He was so selfless, Shiro, and you took that way from him. You made him suffer."

"I hope you know that I felt awful," he muttered. "and I wanted to apologise because I never let you get anything you wanted. Even when Lotor was controlling half the things that went on, including trying to pair you two up, I tried tearing you away from him. That persistence just kept making me angry, Keith, and I was aware of that."

"Just tell me where he is," I sighed. "Just know that it's going to take me a while to ever forgive you, let alone at all."

"That's fine with me."

His tone was cold, as if his apology meant nothing at all. If he really cared about Lance and I, he wouldn't have ripped him out of my arms like that. How sickening. He did it for the viewers to indulge in back home, and to  _teach me a lesson_. There was no way I could have escaped the emotional pain he was foreshadowing - it was inevitable, anyway. But knowing that Lance was probably alive, and probably recovering, made my heart hammer in my chest. Matt guided me around the castle, glowing with Altean essence, the ceilings high, the walls decorated with gold, until we finally reached a long corridor, full of large, glass pods. Many of them were empty. Many except for one.

"Please don't press the green button, whatever you do," Matt warned. "I was told someone did that to me and I haven't healed quite yet. There's a large amount of bruising on my stomach and although I like to think that I'm fine, my sister does not."

How was Pidge going to feel when she finally found out that Lance was recovering? Not only that, but did she remember? She was out like a light when it all happened, and I wanted to see how she was, and how she felt, now that the venom had been sapped from her body. Matt led me down the corridor, my hands shaking in anticipation and with nerves as they wracked my body. This couldn't be real. I was sure Lance was dead.

Finally, we reached the pod at the very end. I still had spite stirring my stomach as Matt let go of my arm. I didn't dare to look. He was going to be covered in bites and bruises and missing limbs and probably crying in pain and- 

"Keith, he's here."

I lifted my gaze, feeling the warm, blue glow against my skin. Lance looked so tranquil. I felt the air get sucked out of my lungs as I gasped in both emotional pain and awe, gazing at his motionless, calm body, wrapped in a white skintight suit, his heartbeat registering on the electronic monitor on the wall. Lance was okay. He was alive. It felt impossible because I saw him get swept under the waves - but there he was, his eyes closed, basking in a beautiful shade of blue. I bit my lip when I saw his hair.

Silvery-white streaks threaded through his chocolate locks, making him look ethereal and so,  _so_ beautiful. I cupped my hands over my quivering lips, feeling Matt's hand upon my shoulder.

"His hair will go back in a couple of days," he muttered. "Sometimes the healing pods emit a certain type of radiation. It isn't harmful, but it can do that to hair."

"When will he be out?" I asked, never taking my eyes off him. I didn't know whether I could cope without him for another night. 

"You've been in the medical wing for a few days now," Matt explained. "Lance, I'm sure, will be out in a few days, too."

"What actually happened?" I said, placing my hand on the warm glass of the pod. I missed him. I couldn't help falling in love with him even harder.

"Something strange," Matt nodded. "Technically, he did drown, but since all the water and the arena was totally drained, his body was immediately transferred straight to the castle."

"So," I bit my lip. I was sure his eyelashes were fluttering. "Lance won?"

Matt nodded. "Three winners this year."

"What about you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't know about the rules, but I think my sister deserves this," he smiled. "Since I'm older than her, she's always in my shadow, so I think our parents need to recognise how courageous she is."

"Are you proud of her?"

"How could I not be?" Matt smiled at the ground. "Anyway, I'll leave you with Lance. I'm going to go and see Shiro."

I looked up at Lance again, admiring how calm he looked. My heart finally returned to its normal rate after seeing him, but I wasn't going to leave his side anytime soon. Before Matt left the long corridor, I lifted my head.

"Hey, Matt?" I called. He turned around, pushing his glasses onto his nose.

"Yes?"

"It's good to have you back," I muttered. "Thank you for keeping Lance alive."

"I think Shiro's happy to see me too," he laughed. "Too happy. I think we all need to sort out our feelings."

I nodded, watching him leave. I then pressed my forehead against the lukewarm pane of glass that separated Lance and I, my eyes never leaving his closed ones. We'd been through too much to let this slide. I just had to wait until the pod opened, and he was walking, talking, and laughing all over again. I'd fall in love with him all over again.

I let myself cry. I was so relieved but so upset after what had happened. I kept my hand on the thin glass, gazing up at the one I'd fallen for. He was so brave. I was so proud of him.

I was sure his family was proud of him, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _you didn't think id actually be that mean, would you?_


	47. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still recovering. Someone else appears at Keith's side.

Lance had always suited the colour blue no matter the occasion. I discovered that he always donned it during Tribute events before the Games and it contrasted beautifully against his honey skin and sapphire eyes. It matched them, in fact. Lance had the most gorgeous eyes and I loved looking at them. It was just past midnight, and I hadn't gone to bed. I was too restless. I only moved for dinner with Shiro and Matt and even then we sat in silence. Matt and Shiro exchanged a glance and I heard my name being whispered a few times. All the while I just wanted to get back to Lance.

I sat with my back against the pod, feeling the warmth of the Altean magic making it hum with life, and picking up a faint trace of his scent. I missed it so much. I missed the way he looked at me when I'd said something to set him off. And his winks. Those adorable, flirtatious little winks that made my cheeks flush. To think that I used to despise them. My eyelids drooped as my body pushed me to sleep. I had to stay awake. I missed his presence too much. I loved it when he curled up to me, keeping his nose in the same place he always did. I still hadn't taken the braid out of my hair and I didn't want to, even if I was probably damaging my hair for keeping it in for over three days.

"Hard to believe we're here right now," I muttered, not talking to anyone in particular. Lance wasn't listening, but letting things out while he was unconscious seemed comforting. "And I thought I hated you."

I tapped my foot against the floor, letting my eyes close for them to rest. The castle was cold at night, but the warmth radiating from the healing pod was both comfortable and felt nice against my skin. I'd taken the top part of my sleepwear bodysuit off to let myself breathe. I also felt closer to Lance that way.

"I can't help it, Lance," I whispered. "I can't help falling in love with you."

Letting it all out even though Lance didn't have the capability to hear me, felt astounding. It was like I was venting without him properly listening to me. I'd admit that I'd loved him time and time again when he finally woke up, because I'd never thought of myself as a bashful person. Lance was just a flirt, and I didn't know whether I was going to mess it all up. I was glad he was alive, though.  The soft, subtle beeps of the heart monitor were almost a lullaby. With my head nodding, and my back against Lance's healing pod, I felt myself drift off to sleep.

"Keith?"

I looked up to see Pidge staring at me from across the corridor. She looked cold but it didn't seem to bother her - she was dressed in a fluffy white robe, her feet dipped in soft slippers. Underneath she wore a skintight bodysuit, the same one as mine. Her skin had transformed back to its original, fair state, her purple ears had subsided, and her hazel eyes gazed comfortingly, almost filling me with platonic warmth.

She rushed over and I stood up to hug her. I was so relieved that she was okay. Soon enough, we'd all recover, and the psychological effects wouldn't be that bad. I hoped, anyway. I didn't want to sleep just in case something happened to Lance and I guessed the Games had already taken its toll on my head. Pidge never let go until I did, her face buried in my chest.

"Hey," she smiled tiredly. We both sat back down against the warm pod. She pushed her spectacles onto her nose.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, in no more than a whisper. "I heard you cried when you saw your brother."

Pidge laughed quietly. "I'm feeling okay. I've started eating more over the past few days. I'm glad my brother is here."

"Good," I nodded. "Well done in the Games. You killed way more than any of us combined and that really needs some guts."

"I'm waiting for the nightmares to start," she shrugged. "I don't think my parents will be pleased, but at least I'm alive. And Lance is too."

"Yeah."

Pidge smiled. "You love him, don't you?"

I nodded, smiling like an idiot at the floor. "I do."

"I've always liked you a little bit," she whispered. "I mean, obviously not to date you, but you're fun to be around. It's platonic. I hope I don't make you uncomfortable when I kiss you."

"That's surprising, although I could tell," I laughed. "I knew you and Matt wanted to ally from the beginning. And those kisses are friendship kisses."

"They're not friendship kisses from Lance," she gave me a shit-eating grin. "I saw a tongue slip in there once."

I turned to her, my cheeks flushing pink. "How did you know?"

"Matt said Shiro has footage of you guys fu -"

"Seriously?" I murmured, biting my lip. Even though Lance was asleep right behind me I still felt so embarrassed. We were doing that on  _television_ and I thought I'd have privacy. Obviously not in Shiro's case, it seemed. I wish I could just hide in Lance's shoulder but that was totally impossible. Instead, I rested my head on the healing pod, sighing heavily. "Well, at least they're keeping the footage, right?"

"We manage half of Altea's internet service," Pidge pushed her glasses onto her nose. "I may have to block it from peering eyes."

I swallowed. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Actually, I haven't seen it," she laughed. "But I was always around. I always knew. I remember hanging around outside the cave for a little while when you both finished, but other than that, I think I'm proud of you."

"Proud of me?" I chuckled. 

"Mhm," Pidge giggled. "I knew you'd get there in the end. I'm just lucky I'm not an Omega. I mean, could you imagine? Having an Alpha brother is enough and he's pining for Shiro."

I told Matt everything Shiro did to me and yet it seemed as if something had happened between them, while we were in the arena. It wasn't any of my business. Pulse records were a thing of the past and my bruise looked significantly more painful that Pidge's did. Her thumb idly brushed it, wincing when she pressed on a sensitive spot. She had a deep scar on her cheekbone and a couple of grazes on her hands. She'd rolled up the sleeves of her suit to get comfortable in the robe and there were plenty of cuts and bruises painting her fair skin.

However, if Matt did like Shiro, were their secondary genders even compatible? I was sure that Shiro was an Alpha because he definitely looked like one. He acted like one, too - but then again, he didn't really portray any other signs that he was anything else. As Pidge yawned, tiredly resting her head on my shoulder, I wonder if Matt cared.

"Do you know what Shiro is?" I asked. 

"To be honest, I don't know," she lifted her head, popping her knuckles. I thought about going to bed soon. Pidge and I were so tired we'd leaned into one another, but luckily enough, we had nearly enough strength to prop each other up. "I think he's either an Alpha or a Beta. He's way too terrifying to be an Omega."

"Would Matt care if he was an Alpha too?" I murmured, yawning. Pidge shrugged lazily.

"I don't think he cares," she whispered. "I don't think I care."

I sighed in bliss, the small hum of the healing pod emitting tiny vibrations against my skull. I couldn't wait to go home. After all, now that I'd won, I just had to go through all of the ridiculous ceremonies all over again, but I'd have Lance with me this time. Then I could go home. What would happen between all of us? Would I still be able to communicate with Lance?

Where would I live now, if I was a Victor?

"Thank you for keeping us all alive when my brother wasn't there," Pidge whispered. "You're great at comforting people, too. Maybe you're not as selfish any more."

"I don't feel it," I closed my eyes. "I mean, I shouldn't have fallen in love with Lance and that happened."

"Do you regret that?" Pidge asked, blinking tiredly. I shook my head.

"No," I whispered. "No way."

We sat there for a while listening to the gentle hum of the pod and each other's breathing. Pidge was ever so brave for what she did. Our whole alliance was brave. I don't think I'd ever be the same person I once was before the Games happened. As soon as I felt Pidge falling asleep on my shoulder, I lightly tapped her leg. She was still recovering.

"Go to bed," I whispered. "Your body is still going through a lot."

"Isn't everyone's?" she smiled sleepily. "Make sure you sleep, too. We haven't been in a proper bed for a while."

"I wonder what day it is today," I let my eyes close. "It feels cold."

Pidge hummed in agreement, standing up with her hand on the pod, propping herself up so she wouldn't slip. She wrapped the robe around her and pulled up the fluffy hood. I was envious. I wanted one. Her slippers looked so comfortable, too. I wondered if I had my own bedroom instead of sleeping in a medical wing.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled. "Hopefully McClain will be out by then. It's so quiet without him."

"Yeah," I sighed. I'd noticed that too. "Goodnight, Katie."

As she walked off, her slippers padding against the white marble floor, she turned with a tired grin. "It feels nice to be called that. Night, Kogane."

I stood up to face the healing pod and Lance's blissful, sleeping expression. It was hard to see but he definitely had scars up his leg and arm where he'd been attacked by Nyma. The rest were just healing cuts and bruises that'd clear up in no time. I kept gazing up at his hair. It was ethereal and gorgeous and I missed pushing my hands through it. Lance was so delicate and selfless. His lips were upturned into a gentle, relaxed smile, the one he always wore. I missed having him around. He was so affectionate, too. No matter what I'd thrown at him he still tried his best to make me and the other people around me happy.

I couldn't wait to take him home, either.

"Goodnight, blue," I whispered, placing the palm of my hand flat against the surface of the pod. "I miss you."

It was going to be hard to sleep without him.

I decided to follow Pidge's path, winding round the maze-like corridors and halls of the castle. I passed Shiro's room and heard laughter emanating from there, so I decided to take a closer look. After all, I had to know where my room was. I approached his room meekly, knowing I still hadn't forgiven him and he'd probably send me the same way out of spite. However, when I peered in through the crack of the door, light streaming out into the dark hall, Matt had his palms placed on Shiro's chest, gazing out of the vast floor-to-ceiling window, overlooking the city. I didn't know how much I'd missed interaction and physical touch until now.

I cleared my throat, clearly interrupting something intimate. "Sorry, I know it's late, but I have no idea where I'm sleeping."

Shiro turned his head and Matt lifted his gaze, a guilty, dirty blush spreading across his cheeks. Well, at least I hadn't interrupted an hour later.

"Just keep going down the hall until you reach a door with your name," Matt muttered. They both looked drunk. "It's not hard to miss. District Twelve is red so that's a clue."

"Thanks."

I left soon after, making sure I'd closed the door behind me. With tired haste, I walked down the long corridor, passed a balcony overlooking the floor below, and kept walking until I'd reached an open door. Once I'd peered in, noticed the red trim around the blankets on the bed and my name hung on the door handle, I shut the door and took a deep breath. I didn't want to sleep on my own and Pidge was asleep opposite my room. Lance must be next door. Matt's was beside his sister's, but I doubt he'd be getting sleep tonight.

For the first time, I saw my own reflection. The walk-in closet doors were mirrors and suddenly, I felt like I'd gone through a war. As I peeled off the suit and tried to find something more comfortable to wear, I noticed how many scars were running up and down my chest, my thighs, my calves, my shoulders - I even had a few on my face. My hair was slightly longer, even though it was hung in a ponytail. I never took out the braid Lance threaded in. The scars I had from the jaguar claws were deep.

I decided to sleep in underwear for once instead of a painfully-tight suit. The bed was warm and big but it felt empty without Lance. I'd only slept in a bed once with him, but we were hungover from drinking the night before, and we didn't really  _like_ each other then. It felt amazing to sleep in a proper bed, bundled up in thick, comfortable sheets. When it didn't feel right without someone near, I tugged down a pillow and clutched it close. I'd never thought I'd miss him so much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> matt, shiro.... wyd


	48. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith probably needs to sleep more.

Two days had passed. Loneliness was something I usually felt but it had worsened since Lance was still recovering; I'd even begun to think about whether he was going to make it or not. I sat up in bed, running my fingers through the hair that hung in front of my face, tucking it behind my ear like Lance usually did. The castle was quiet, almost  _too_ quiet, apart from the incoherent mumbling from Matt and Shiro from his bedroom. The bed was always comforting and warm but I'd grown so used to sleeping with Lance and Pidge that it felt strange to sleep alone. 

After having a well-earned shower, scrubbing away all the disgusting layers of grime that'd accumulated over the last weeks but still not removing the braid from my hair, I decided to visit Lance's healing pod for the umpteenth time. I always looked like a wounded, pining puppy whenever I went to see him. I woke up late, it was almost noon, so Pidge wasn't anywhere to be seen. Her bed was a mess and there were clothes all over the floor already. I laughed a little bit. Her bedroom was probably a lot like that back home.

"You're awake, finally," Shiro chuckled, standing in his doorway with Matt skulking out, adjusting his glasses and running his fingers through his tousled hair. He had a relaxed, blissful grin on his face. I gave Shiro a knowing look.

"What'd you do to him?" I muttered.

"Nothing, I swear," he laughed. "We've been working together in the control room a lot and he's fond of sleeping in, in my room."

"In your room," I raised a brow. "In your bed, with you."

"No, he has gone back to his room a few times -"

I leaned forward to check Matt's room. Nothing had been shifted at all and his name still hung on the door handle. I wasn't going to see Shiro a lot during the next few months, but he and Matt were attempting to maintain a relationship, perhaps I'd be forced to forgive him. Shiro lost his old mate in the arena when he participated in the Games, and maybe for once, he felt happy.

"We're both Alphas," he leaned against his doorframe. "So it's like a Beta and a Beta, or -"

"Yeah. I know." I nodded. "Can we please discuss your, your, whatever the fuck it is between you and Matt  _later?"_

Shiro laughed to himself. I'd never seen him so elated.

"I'm happy you've won," he smiled. "I've been a cunt to you and you didn't deserve it at all."

"I did at times." I nodded, showing him the bruise the pulse record left. "When will this fade?"

"Ouch," Shiro winced. "I think it's like a hickey. It'll take a week or so, but, I bet you'll be home by then."

"But didn't you win once?" I said. "And you live here now."

"Victor's live in the Victor's Quarters around the castle and they're invited to stay within the castle, too," Shiro explained. "Your family will have a home nearby."

"I only have my dad."

"Then it'll be your dad transferring to the Capitol."

I didn't know if I  _wanted_ to move to the Capitol. Living in luxury was tempting but I had so many memories back home, including my mother's death, and the scrapbook she kept of all of us underneath my bed. My District was so poor I wasn't even connected to the network Pidge talked about.

"Anyway," I rocked back and forth on my heels. "Thanks for being my mentor, even if you gave Lance a fake death and gave me hell the rest of the time."

"My pleasure."

I heard the click of his door and rushed to where the healing pod bay was. I kept walking around the winding corridors, my footsteps echoing through the castle. Wasn't Matt here a second ago? Then again, the place was so huge he'd probably gotten lost himself. Pidge was nowhere to be seen. I followed the sound of the faint, ethereal hum coming from the healing pods, until I reached the corridor, purely out of breath. I'd had to ascend and descend stairs, turn corners, and almost fall off balconies onto lower floors. Lance's pod was directly at the end, so I headed down there.

I kept walking, with dread hanging in my heart because I knew it'd take ages for him to heal. His lungs were still recovering from being swept underwater which was completely contrary to his love of the ocean - how ironic that it was the thing he loved the most that killed him. My legs began to ache until I reached his pod, ready with my arm outstretched, keeping my eyes on the ground. I hated seeing him in there.

When I lifted my gaze, however, noticing there wasn't a source of warmth, something else struck within my chest. Lance wasn't in there. The pane of glass that once separated us was completely gone. My heart leaped to my throat. My stomach twisted. Was he alive?! Was he around the castle right now? Wherever he was, I had to find him.

"Lance," I breathed, looking around the bay. "Lance!!"

_"Keith!"_

That sounded more like Pidge, but soon enough I was sprinting down the halls of the castle, my feet hitting the floor faster than ever before. My heart pounded at a million miles an hour, determined to find him, to find the one  _I'd_ fallen for. I pushed past Altean guards, Galra soldiers, and even Shiro as I ran through the vast, large halls of the castle. I heard my name being repeated again and again, by different people, until I'd reached a dead end.

I had to take the stairs.

I risked broken bones as I rushed down, purely out of breath. I kept running as fast as I could, arriving at the lower floor before seeing someone running across the balcony I'd just walked across. I halted immediately, sliding on the marble floor, almost falling over in the process.

We were all lost in this massive castle and I whipped my head around to see if they'd return - I almost did think it was Lance, but at this point, it could have been Matt, or Pidge, or  _anyone -_ I heard another pair of footsteps behind me and turned to head in that direction instead. The whole castle was like a maze. I kept running into dead ends but that didn't stop me, nor my determination. I was getting impatient and I was so desperate to see him.

_"Matt!"_

Plenty of names were being shouted around the castle and I kept turning until I ran head-first into Pidge. She looked up at me, completely out of breath, rubbing her forehead. I apologised briefly.

"Have you seen my brother?" she heaved, "I can't find him -"

"Lance is out of his pod," I breathed. She nodded.

"I know!" she coughed. "That's why I'm trying to find everyone!"

"Let's split up again, we're bound to- "

_"Keith!!"_

Pidge sped past, her fingers trailing the wall to follow the castle in a more sensible way. I was making my way through the pristine, white maze, sprinting back up stairs, trying to find the voice calling my name. I ran into chefs, maids, servants - but none of them paid attention to my direction, or whether I was heading into prohibited areas. I didn't care. I kept going until my lungs burned. I hadn't ran this much since the Games but I was so full of adrenaline and determination that I simply didn't care. I came across the balcony for the fifth time, firmly gripping my fingers as someone ran past the lower level. I heard footsteps everywhere but I couldn't pinpoint an exact location.

I just couldn't give up.

"Lance!" I yelled, continuing my pursuit. Our alliance was so useless out of the jungle. So much for sticking together. 

I kept running, almost falling on the stairs as I descended them for the fifth time, beginning to think that someone was playing tricks on me. But I knew it was him - it was the same little sing-song voice he used all the time, oozing with desperation and a hint of sadness as if he was a puppy searching for his owner. As I ran down the stairs for the last time, never once seeing Pidge nor Matt, I approached the archway into the lower level, looking at the same golden decorations and the blue glow of the lights that accentuated each corner.

When suddenly, as I began to approach the next door, I saw Lance on the opposite side of the large hall, the light from the windows cascading onto his face. My heart sang. 

Not even regarding my burning muscles, I rushed forward while he came sprinting at me. My eyes flooded with tears - I couldn't believe it was  _him,_ Lance McClain, the one who I'd thought died back at the arena, with his hair still streaked with silver, running at me with his arms outstretched, a smile as wide as an ocean, his eyes never leaving mine. The gap between us was hard to close but the faster I ran, the more excited I became, until I leaped into his arms, causing him to topple over onto the floor.

"Keith," he breathed, cupping my face with shaking hands. "Keith, it's me -"

"I know," I cried, feeling his thumbs wipe my wet cheeks. "I thought you were dead! I thought you were gone!"

"I'm okay! I'm okay, Keith, I promise," he sobbed, clutching me close while I whimpered into his chest. At this point, he was never going to let go.  _I_ was never going to let go. I was so relieved and I couldn't stop crying, but it wasn't like we both cared. Both of us were sobbing violently into each other's quaking bodies. "I'm here, I'm not going to leave you again."

"Don't you dare," I quivered, shifting myself up to meet his face, cupping his cheek with my right hand. His sapphire eyes lovingly gazed into my weeping ones with pure relief. "I was so worried about you."

"We can go home," he sniffed. "We won, Keith!"

Lance sat up, keeping me in his lap as I wrapped my arms around him tightly, never wanting to let him go  _ever_ again. I felt his tears soak into my shoulder as we held one another as close as possible. His heat was over, so his scent was even more pure; my nose never left his warm neck, my fingers curled in his hair, my legs wrapped around his waist. I was so happy. We had all the time in the world now that the Games were a thing in the past.

"I missed you so much," I whispered, my forehead touching his. "I've had to sleep alone for the past week, both in a medical bed and in my own room, because you've been in a healing pod."

"Then that'll have to change," he smiled. My heart melted as soon as I saw it. "You kept the braid in your hair-  _mmph."_

I had to shut him up with a kiss. Pulling his lips closer to mine still felt like such a thrill and made my stomach flutter with a million little butterflies as euphoria filled my hammering heart. Lance cupped my jaw and kissed me deeper, his lips feeling as warm as ever as he smiled his widest into the kiss. Soon enough, we heard more footsteps and hard panting, and I immediately knew who that was.

"Lance!" Pidge immediately stooped to wrap her arms around his waist, squeezing him from behind. Matt appeared seconds later, securing his arms around all of us. We were all together again. Pidge propped up her chin onto Lance's shoulder, happy tears streaming down her cheeks. We were all worried. Even Matt shared a grateful smile. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"I'm okay," Lance laughed, wiping his tears, letting us all squeeze him at once. "I'm fine, I promise- Matt?!"

"Weird that we're all together and not in a jungle any more," Matt chuckled, rubbing his sister's back. "Shiro says the train arrives tomorrow morning. And yeah, hey, long story."

"To where?" I asked, wiping my tears, feeling Lance tuck a stray hair behind my ear.

"Apparently we have dinner with the Royals tonight, sleep, and then we get on the train to go home in the morning," he sighed. "So uh, I guess this is the end of the road."

We all exchanged a look, and I knew exactly what we were all thinking. How were we going to stay in touch, because my allies had turned into best friends, and I definitely didn't want to go months at a time without seeing Lance. It'd hurt me far too much. Lance cupped my backside and gave it a generous squeeze. Damn it, he was still a flirtatious little shit.

"C'mon," Matt patted his sister's shoulder. "Let's give these two some time."

Pidge nodded in agreement, ruffling Lance's hair as she stood up. Both of them left giggling and shoving each other into doorways, kicking each other's calves, insulting one another just as siblings did. I turned back to Lance, planting a kiss on his flushing cheeks.

"You smell of mint again," he whispered. "Have you slept at all?"

"A little," I replied. "But it's almost dinner and after that I can go straight to bed, so it's not like I need sleep imminently."

"I see," Lance nodded. 

"I almost caught Matt and Shiro a couple of nights ago," I grinned, looping my arms around his neck, watching him raise a brow. "They weren't doing anything  _important_ but this morning Matt looked a little messy."

"Is that so?" Lance purred, giving my nose a nuzzle. "I'm surprised Matt's here. Did he and Shiro have a fling or something?"

"I think it's an  _ongoing_ fling," I chuckled. "They're both Alphas."

Lance whistled. "Don't we have some catching up to do?"

I couldn't even protest as he carried me bridal-style through the castle, dashing through the halls, our naughty little giggles echoing through the walls. It felt great to have him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~  
> _...im taking a vote for reunion sex if anyones down for that but also kinks you wanna read so feel free to comment_  
>  ~~


	49. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being desperate has its ups and downs.

"Keith, hurry, dinner's at eight, it's currently six!"

"We have two hours!"

Lance was beckoning me from the top of the stairs, tapping his foot impatiently, his arms folded. The look in his eyes was wild and I couldn't wait to find out what was reeling through his head. I'd had to jump out of his arms because a few Galra soldiers spotted us running through the halls, which was forbidden due to health and safety, apparently. Nevertheless, it didn't stop me from sprinting up the stairs two at a time, hearing Lance's mischievous little giggles get louder as I approached him. Our rooms weren't that far away and it was getting dark outside. We had plenty of time. I knew we did.

Almost breathless, Lance pulled me by my wrist and caught my lips in a needy kiss. We were so open and public I didn't even care if we were caught - we had no risk of death and all the time in the world, apart from the dinner. I roamed his chest with quaking hands, never getting enough of him because I'd missed him and his body  _so fucking much_ , I couldn't help but push him against the wall, tip-toe to kiss him deeper, and feel him smirk against my eager lips.

I knew we couldn't just stay in the hallway. Lance gripped my waist and tugged me gently away from the wall, before it just couldn't do - I was lifted up immediately and we wandered blindly through the hall, our lips always connected, twisting and winding our tongues with my legs clasped firmly around him. He groaned in content when my fingers threaded through his hair. 

There were multiple times where Lance got impatient and shoved me against the wall, attempting to find the zip at the back of my suit, his breathy, desperate moans ricocheting against my neck as I held myself in his scent. We were desperate and I'd never had a reunion quite like it.

"Let's just get to my room," I laughed lowly, hopping off of him. Lance furrowed his brow. "C'mon, we're not far."

"Fine," he groaned, his hands never quite leaving my body. His right hand palmed and squeezed my backside as we tumbled down the hall, and I placed my hands on his chest to  _finally_ push him into my room. Our giggles never seemed to stop. They were so naughty and we knew  _exactly_ what both of us wanted. It'd been a while. We deserved it.

However, I didn't quite remember leaving my door half-open. As I leaned in to kiss Lance again, shoving my forearms into his chest with haste, we toppled into Shiro's room at  _the worst time possible_ , and the top of my suit was hanging from my shoulders. Lance and I swallowed hard, with his body pressing against me on the door, glaring at Shiro's fingers in Matt's mouth; Matt's hands were quivering against the wall, his back bowed with Shiro close behind him, his glasses askew and his hair tousled.

"W-Well, um," Lance laughed nervously to break the ice. I'd never thought I'd caught them  _both_ in the act, but there they were, and my cheeks couldn't get any hotter. It was a good job Matt's leg was positioned in a way so that Lance and I couldn't see anything. Lance's quivering hands were on my bare back. "We won't tell if you won't tell."

Matt nodded slowly, letting Shiro remove his fingers from his mouth. "Don't tell my sister, p-please close the door on your way out."

We backed out of the room, grabbing the handle and closing the door. Lance gave me a knowing look before I pulled him into _my_ room, closing the door by bumping it with my hip, and letting him lead me to the bed. I was still bright red from that encounter and I knew Lance was going to make fun of me for it. But for now, as I sat on the bed, he was rummaging through the closet and the drawers, trying to find something interesting. Probably.

Despite the rooms being soundproof, Lance lifted his head and raised a brow as the noises continued in Shiro's room.

"Never thought Matt would be a bottom," he snickered, grabbing a box out from one of the drawers. "Oh? What's this?"

"I haven't seen-  _oh."_

Lance threw the box onto the bed and I peered inside. I didn't want to look at mysterious things, I wanted  _Lance_ and his lips and his scent and  _him_. However, as I fidgeted, trying to calm the rush of blood to my groin with sheer willpower, Lance began pulling out toys in different shades of blue. Immediately, my face reddened even more. They probably  _knew_ this was going to happen and put two-and-two together; Lance's District colour was blue and I couldn't escape that. It wasn't like I was complaining. He picked up a small, slender, baby-blue object, the naughty grin upon his face never wavering.

"What's this?" he purred, crawling up and tapping the cold thing against my bottom lip. I swallowed. Somehow, even if I was the Alpha, seeing Lance become more dominant than I was really,  _really_ turned me on. I slowly propped myself up with my elbows, laying on my back as he got closer. "Aren't you just adorable when you're below me."

I swallowed hard. "I have never seen that box in my life-  _Lance..."_

His knee shifted against the swell in my crotch and I involuntarily bucked into it. Before his lips reached mine, he leaned back and rifled through the box until he picked up a small, oval-looking device, with four buttons raised upon the surface. I took a deep breath as his knee pressed deeper. I was helpless against his actions and I loved it.

"Since you were such a tease in the arena, Kogane," he chuckled darkly, pressing his lips against my jugular, peeling away the top part of my suit. I shivered as his lips brushed past my scent gland. "I wanna play around with you. Does that seem fair?"

I nodded quickly, feeling the warmth radiating from his body hit my skin, the suit crumpling down to my thighs while Lance shimmied out of the top part of his. It was so unfair and slightly humiliating but I wanted to see what he could do. Besides, it wasn't like I was going to stop him. He looked gorgeous on top of me, clutching some kind of toy between his slender fingers. He lifted my legs until they pressed against my chest, smoothing my underwear past my thighs. I blushed a little bit. Lance hadn't had any experience down there at all.

"Your thighs are still literally hairless, Keith, what the fuck," he giggled. I bit my lip and pouted, hugging my knees against my chest as his warm hands generously squeezed my backside. "Such a soft ass, too."

"Are you done?!" I blushed. "Why am I even in this position?"

"Because I know what  _this_ is," he grinned, looking at me under his dark fan of eyelashes. I felt a small stretch and groaned automatically as the thing in his hand brushed past my prostate. "And you don't."

He let my legs down with a small  _thump_ against the bed and I squirmed with how cold it felt inside. Lance chuckled fondly as I felt my cheeks flare.

"I'm going to have a lot of fun with you," he grinned. His finger tapped a button and shockwaves jolted through my spine as a slow, gentle pleasure emanated from between my legs. This was going to be unbearable. He had to let me finish. I whimpered, my fingers curling into the sheets, wanting him to press the highest setting. This was so fucking unfair. The smile on his face was so wicked and evil I couldn't help but think I'd deserved it.

Lance crawled forward again, pressing his warm lips against mine as he toyed around with the remote, pressing different buttons, hearing me moan into his mouth, disconnecting our lips whenever he felt like teasing me. His hips snapped and rolled into mine, all while pushing his fingers through my hair, untangling the braid he'd given me. My thighs quaked and I tried to close them, but it was impossible when he was in between them. I felt how hard he was underneath the suit. Lance really,  _really_ wasn't fair.

"Will you let me come?" I quivered, feeling him smile as he kissed, bit and sucked on my flushing neck. I let out a strangled gasp as he clamped his teeth down on my shoulder. "Nnnhh, _Lance!"_

"No." Lance grinned, his eyes lidded. I glared at him, hearing the hum of the vibrator as the room was blanketed in thick silence.

"Why?" I whimpered. "I let you -"

"Did you let me back in the arena?" he whispered, snapping his hips against mine. I felt the outline of how hard he was and I almost jolted. I shook my head. "Exactly. You're mine tonight, and I'm going to have you in any way I want."

I almost keened with arousal. The lustful storm in his eyes took over quickly as his fingers pressed the top button, and pleasure ripped through my body, catching me by surprise. This was going to kill me, metaphorically, if Lance kept going. And I loved it. I was merely wrapped around his slender fingers and he could do anything he wanted as I moaned and quaked beneath him, gripping onto the sheets to contain myself.

I couldn't contain myself.

With the toy inside and his erection creating friction between us, I was so sure that I was going to finish. It wasn't until he'd turned the vibrator off and he was walking to the closet that I almost screamed with hopelessness.

"You're so fucking unfair, McClain!" I cried, trying to palm the painful pleasure away, bucking up into my hand. He walked over carrying something red between his fingers, slapping away my desperate hand, pinning it to the bed. I forgot how strong he was.

"I think I like this one," he grinned dirtily, stretching a red thong between his fingers. "What colour was Twelve again? What's your favourite colour, sweetheart?"

"Fuck you." I spat. Lance pressed the top button and my insults turned into wails of pleasure. He had way too much power. 

"Good boy," he chuckled, turning the toy off. I dropped my head onto the bed, trying to will any arousal away by sheer mindpower. I could do it in the arena, I could do it now. But it wasn't long until Lance gained more ideas and he was soon stood at the end of the bed, donning the red thong, admiring his backside in the mirror.

I hated him. I swear. His body was far too gorgeous and I was envious.

"Tell me what you think, Kogane," he grinned. I was trying to get a view of what was underneath, but his ass in a small piece of fabric was great, too. "I might just wear this to dinner."

"You wouldn't dare!" I cried. "Stop teasing."

Lance leaped onto the bed and pressed his lips against mine again. "Nah."

I couldn't even prevent a moan from escaping my lips as his tongue slipped in without warning. I smoothed my shaking hands down his back and toyed with the lace of the thong that fit snug around his hips. I'd missed the shape and smoothness of his lips because I'd been deprived of them for so long. With a blissful whimper, he deepened the kiss, cupping my cheeks with his tongue locking with mine. A bite on my lower lip sent my mind reeling, earning another moan for him.

"Please don't leave me like this," I whimpered, clutching him close to make dark bruises on his neck, flourishing into purple petals upon his honey skin. "This is so cruel."

Lance caught my idle tongue in another kiss. "It's a good cruel, babe."

Rough kisses were my favourite and I couldn't get enough of his taste as he battled his eager tongue against mine, messily claiming me, breathless against my lips. I'd almost forgotten about the vibrator altogether before Lance shifted his hand. I wanted to take it from him. I was so tempted to. The feeling of bare skin was so warm and I relished being this close to him. It wasn't long before we'd returned to our hip-bucking, panting states, with Lance claiming my lips in another breathy kiss.

As I was just about to pull his backside further up to straddle me, the door opened. Lance shot up and whipped his head around.

"I guessed that was the reason why the door was closed." Pidge murmured. "Shiro says hurry the fuck up because the stylists are going to be- why is Lance wearing a thong."

Lance quickly scrambled onto the bed, laughing to himself. "Don't you wear thongs?"

Pidge rolled her eyes, taking a deep, nonchalant breath. "Stop revealing my secrets and get dressed, the both of you."

I watched with desperate eyes as Lance pulled on his bodysuit and made a break for the door,  _carrying the remote with him_.

"Wait, wait, Lance," I breathed. "You can't leave- leave  _it_ in me -"

"Y'know, that isn't a bad idea," he grinned, waggling his fingers. "See you at dinner."

As soon as he left the room, closing the door behind him, I almost sobbed into my pillow. I was so aroused it was painful and I didn't have time for relief. Why did Lance have to be so arousing when he was dominant. I bit my fist with one hand and clutched the sheets with the other. He had the remote. He was controlling when I could, could -

I pulled on the rest of my suit and waited patiently for my stylist to arrive, swinging my legs off the edge of the bed. I promised I couldn't relieve myself because Lance had plans. Big plans, probably. I stared at my quivering thighs.

"Fucking hell," I murmured, looking over to the box of blue toys. I shoved that under my bed for now. Fuck it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you ready for sin


	50. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to stay at an event for that long when you're so impatient.

When Hunk arrived wearing the biggest, proudest congratulatory smile, I almost burst into tears. I felt so bad for forgetting about him and there he was, carrying a small wardrobe of clothes for me to wear, with the Galra female close behind. I didn't feel so much spite for her any more, the makeup would wash off, and it'd all be over. I'd only have to go through this once or twice and I'd never have to experience it again. Ever.

"Nice to see a friendly face," he grinned, and I awkwardly shifted off the bed, trying to conceal the fact that Lance was teasing me from the other room. I accepted Hunk's hug gratefully. It felt refreshing to see him. "Congratulations on winning! And you finally broke down into finding a mate, then, huh."

"Yeah," I bit my lip. And he was gorgeous too. "District Four's male."

"Ah, you settled for _him_ ," Hunk chuckled knowingly, pulling me upwards to face the mirror. "Who do you want to impress today? The Royals or District Four?"

He began hovering different outfits in front of my body as I glared at my reflection in the mirror, unwillingly clenching my thighs because I wanted all of my blood to go anywhere but _down there,_ all because Lance McClain was a tease, and escaped my room wearing ladies' underwear, which I was fond of. I couldn't escape my own fantasies at this point. I almost thanked my lucky stars he was busy with his outfits because I didn't want to be caught out with something buzzing furiously.

Hunk whisked out many different things but none of them appealed to me until he rapidly switched from a black suit to an almost skintight blue tuxedo, and I almost screamed at him to stop. The desperate look on my face seemed enough to make him halt.

"District Four," I breathed, clutching the clothing hanger. "I want to impress District Four."

"I thought so." Hunk nodded. "You'll be pleased that I have matching gloves for you."

I snorted. "Are they the flame ones?"

Hunk shook his head, unzipping the back of my bodysuit. I let the Galra female untangle the knots in my hair, missing the braid that Lance put in it. I had to have a haircut when I returned back home. I almost didn't _want_ to go home. I'd made best friends and I didn't want to leave them so soon. I hoped we stayed in touch, despite my small family being unable to afford proper Internet access. Pidge was lucky. Perhaps I could persuade her to sort something out for me.

I stared at my reflection with sheer boredom, knowing exactly what was going to happen during this process. The hair-brushing was always so tedious and boring. The cream applied to my face was always cold and it was almost refreshing with the amount of heat rising in my body.

"Ugh," the Galra female sighed, tapping at the dark bruises upon my neck. "I'm going to have to cover these up."

I bit my lip guiltily, secretly smiling to myself at the same time. "My bad."

"Your bad, or was it District Four's?" Hunk murmured, tossing the bodysuit to the floor as I tugged on the tuxedo. Hunk grabbed the blazer and pulled it over my arms as my face was battered with all sorts of cosmetics.

"Do you really have to ask?"

Hunk patted my shoulders and grinned. "Do you feel like you've impressed him?"

"I guess?" I grinned awkwardly, fixing the navy-purple gloves onto my hands. "I mean, I'm covered in glitter now, right?"

"Scars and bruises, too," Hunk sighed. "But you're allowed to relax now. Are you thinking of living in the Victor's Quarters?"

"I don't know."

I knew I felt self-conscious about my scars previously, but they'd become a part of me ever since the Games happened. As Hunk secured the bow-tie around my neck, I couldn't wait to meet Lance down at the dining hall. I wondered where it was, anyway. It didn't seem as if they had an 'official' place to eat with the Royals.

"Since you'll be travelling by horse, remember to keep your blazer above your hip, just so it doesn't rip," Hunk explained. "And knowing your history of horses, please don't ride them drunk."

I laughed. "You know about that?"

"Keith, you're my model, of course I do," he grinned. "And dinner is in the Royal gardens, surrounded with ribbon, you can't miss it."

I loved riding horses ever since I had that exhilarating night with Lance. As I stared at my reflection, my cheekbones adorned with blue and purple glitter, I almost felt _nervous_ seeing Lance like this. He was so much more attractive than I was. The styling came to an end, until the Galra female finished winding a braid into my hair, copying the same style Lance practised on me.

"We saw how much that meant to you," Hunk muttered, patting the dust away from my shoulders. "So we decided to replicate it. It may not be as special as when Lance did it, but we hope you appreciate it."

My hair was tugged into the same high ponytail and Hunk patted a few freckles of glitter into the braid. It felt weird being dressed in anything but red. I was so grateful that I wasn't wearing the arena suits any more, however. They were clingy and made the experience so much worse. Finally, I had gotten rid of the disgusting mixture of both my scent and sweat, and replaced it with the mint in the shower. At least Lance liked that.

"I love it," I replied. "Am I done now?"

"Well, the horses are waiting," Hunk stepped back and admired me, walking around my stance to examine my posture. I hoped I looked good enough. "I think you might just outdo Four."

"I can't outdo Lance, it's impossible."

"You might surprise yourself," Hunk grinned. "Now, remember to smile, chin up, shoulders straight, there will be cameras."

Could I maintain my posture when all my blood had circulated to my groin and there was something _literally inside of me?_

I gave Hunk another hug before I was escorted down the large, spacious halls of the castle, he followed close behind until I finally reached the entrance. Everyone else was waiting - even Shiro was there on a white horse, donning a black saddle, wearing a sharp tuxedo. I was assigned a black horse with a deep red saddle and reins, which I fell in love with immediately. On my left sat Pidge, her hair styled as intricate as possible, her eye makeup dark, accentuating her hazel irises. Finally, she looked normal again, without the lilac skin to dampen her spirits. She wore a vibrant green backless dress, with gemstones and glitter snaking up her spine, her heels glinting in the moonlight. There was a slit in the dress, revealing a small design that had been painted onto her thigh. She turned her head, rolling her eyes at me.

"Do you not understand how hard it is to ride a horse like this?" Pidge huffed. "I'd wear Matt's green tux for this and it's fuck-ugly."

I laughed. "This suit is tighter than normal but it seems to be the only thing that's not red."

Pidge raised a brow. "It looks like you and Lance have swapped outfits."

I looked around the dark entrance of the castle, hearing the cheers of the crowd even though they were so far away. To Pidge's left was Matt, and all the way at the front, talking to him, was Shiro. I began to lose hope and huffed in frustration, before I watched Lance turn his head, double-taking as he laid his eyes on me. With a small smile, he waved, and I winked back.

"You're not so bad in red," I grinned. He looked so noble and handsome on top of a horse. His was a beige colour. "Especially those little gems in your hair."

"I like your gloves," he laughed. "I guess this horse situation is happening again, huh?"

"Maybe you'll get what you want this time," I chortled. "And you won't be drunk either."

"Oh, that's a definite," he chuckled mercilessly, and before I could reply I felt a shot of pleasure rocketing up my spine, watching his eyes turn wild. I bit my lip. This was going to be a long night. He took his hand out of his pocket, revealing the tiny remote,  and shoving it back in there again. I really, really loved seeing him in red. "Keep it together, Kogane!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're the one needing to keep it together."

"True." Lance nodded. "But horses aren't the only thing I've ridden so far."

Hiding my blush was something I wasn't that good at, but since it was dark and Lance was quite a distance away, I accepted the kiss he blew at me. He still made my heart flutter. But I guessed that, even if we had done so much in the arena, we still had time to make our relationship grow.

Soon enough, we ceased our chatter as the anthem boomed over our hushed voices, and Hunk wished me a good luck before I made my way down the small stone pathway, riding right beside Lance, who's left hand was fidgeting. Pidge and Matt rode directly in front, laughing at one another, waving at the enthusiastic cameras, despite everything they'd been through. I kept staring at Lance's bashful, troubled expression.

I leaned over, being careful not to topple off my horse. "What's wrong?"

"Can I hold your hand?" he asked, his adorable eyes almost making me melt. I grinned like an idiot, outstretching my gloved hand towards him.

With a smile as wide as an ocean, Lance intertwined his fingers with mine and held my hand tight and high, hearing the cameras click faster than ever before, feeling my heart fill with so much euphoria I thought I was going to cry. I won, with _him._ We were wearing each other's District colours and hearing the crowd cheer us on as we finally made it to the banquet laid out for all of us.

Dinner was both exciting and boring at the same time. Everyone was invited and we sat at the table along with Alfor and his daughter, who congratulated us on winning, and all the while I was trying my best not to smile because Lance was clutching my band underneath the table. Even Zarkon's son was around, standing in between Shiro and Matt's chairs, laughing along as if they were old friends.

Many different kinds of foods were in front of us and I'd already had my fill. A dance floor lay prominent in the middle of the room, full of partygoers.

"Lotor's a Gamemaker, he's the Head, I think," Pidge explained, biting into a piece of gammon. "But apparently now they're all best pals and Matt's with Shiro."

Lance giggled, swirling his glass of vibrant blue Altean alcohol in his hand. "We _know_ Matt's with Shiro."

"I know too," Pidge gave me a disappointed glare, putting down her knife and fork. "I'm going to have to deal with his puppy-pining at home."

Lance placed his glass down and slid his hands into his pocket, just as Lotor approached us both, and I tried my best not to squirm in front of him, feeling Lance's grip on my hand get tighter.

_Lance, you_ _motherfucker_ _._

"It's you two," Lotor grinned, clutching the back of our seats. "I hope you enjoyed my little arrangement in the arena."

"The hot spring?" Lance looked up. I clenched my thighs the tightest I could, feeling gentle pleasure washing over me like a tide. Not here. Not now. "Oh, of course, no wonder the purple petals looked familiar."

"Had to put in my trademark," he winked. "How are you enjoying Alfor's castle? It's not as grand as my father's palace but, you can make do."

"Big." Lance nodded. _I'll_ _show you what else is big._

I tried to distract myself by gathering my used cutlery and placing it on my empty plate, watching Pidge converse with her brother and Shiro about solar power, trying my _fucking hardes_ t to put my mind in a better, cleaner place. As I finally set my mind in a decent place, Lance pressed the button for the second setting, and I almost moaned in defeat. I began bouncing my leg. Lance was grinning out of the corner of my eye.

"What about you, Keith?" Lotor asked. "You're a brave Alpha, you know."

"I-I, er," I quivered. "Thanks? I think?"

Lance clamped his hand on the inner part of my thigh, rubbing it lewdly. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling my legs tremble.

"I think he's still in shock," Lance chuckled, and the music playing around the banquet became louder. "Come on, let's go _dance."_

"Good idea," Lotor grinned, rubbing his hands together. "I'm glad Shiro managed to spare both of your lives, you're the sweethearts of the Capitol."

Everyone else was on the dance floor as Lance pulled me in, clutching my waist close and lacing our fingers together with the other hand. I didn't know how to dance at all and I decided to follow Lance's footwork as he glided across the floor with such expertise, I'd wondered if he'd done it before. Pidge conversed with Hunk and the Princess while Shiro stuck close to Matt, almost trying to out-dance Lance.

"How are you feeling?" Lance purred, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. He slipped his hand into his pocket and I dug my teeth into his shoulder, stifling a loud moan.

"G-great," I panted, trying not to let my legs buckle with the amount of pleasure making them tremble. "Lance, can we leave?"

"Why should we?" he chuckled, waving at Pidge. "I'm having too much fun."

"Because you've made me painfully horny?" I shuddered, letting him kiss my jawline. "I swear, I'm going to slam you against the- _fffuuck, Lance -!"_

Matt whipped his head around as I buried my blushing face into Lance's neck, feeling the vibrator almost wreck me on the highest setting. _Please_ _don't_ _ask. Please_ _don't_ _ask._

"Aww, Keith, moaning for _me?"_ Lance whispered. "Someone's desperate."

"Fuck you," I whimpered. "When does the dinner end?"

Lance giggled. "Be patient, dance with Matt, I'm thirsty."

And then I was twirled into Matt's grasp, glaring at him out of hopelessness.

"Hello," he laughed. His dance was more slow but it gave me time to adjust and ignore the movement in my body. "I'm not going to make this awkward so feel free to leave any time."

"Lance has gone to get a drink," I murmured. Shiro stood at the side, his arms folded, looking jealous. "Uh, sorry we walked in to- "

Matt's cheeks darkened. "Don't worry, don't mention it, it didn't happen."

I grinned. "Liar."

Matt winked, turning his head to locate his sister. Lance hit another setting, slower this time, and I cursed under my breath. This was torture.

"You alright?" Matt asked, smiling at Shiro. I nodded.

"Stubbed my toe."

"You're wearing shoes."

"You know what I mean."

Lance soon sauntered over, cupping my waist with warm, eager hands, his slender fingers tickling my sides. He whisked me away from Matt and I sighed in relief. Lance's hands moved to my backside.

"Just fuck me already," I murmured. He looked so dashing in red and I loved the filthy smirk painting his face.

"Can't, we have to listen to the speeches," Lance chuckled. "Poor you."

"We don't have to!" I whined, bucking my needy hips into his. "Come on, Lance, please."

_"Good evening and welcome to the_ _Victor's_ _Banquet!"_

Lance huffed, flicking off the vibrator in his pocket. I groaned in defeat. The entire dance floor halted as if stuck in time. I was aroused. I was needy. I wanted to get the fuck out of there before it hurt.

"Since you asked so nicely," Lance whispered, slowly slipping away from the crowd. "I might just let you."

"Please," I quivered. I was jelly in his arms. "Please, Lance, I don't think I can hold -"

_"...please_ _put your_ _hands together for this_ _year's_ _winners!"_

Lance and I didn't even bother taking the horses back. He grabbed my wrist and we sprinted all the way back into the castle, our chests heaving, our breath making small clouds in the cold night air, the cool breeze blowing our hair about. It felt so refreshing out there compared to the stuffy banquet and I couldn't wait to make it to my room.

Knowing we had it completely to ourselves for the next hour or so, I made no hesitation by ripping away his shirt, tossing it on the floor, and kissing him hard against my mattress, feeling him moan into my mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost sin time.


	51. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is fond of seeing Keith in blue.

I loved the feeling of Lance's warm hands all over my body, tugging me closer to him to get even more skin contact. The shirt I previously wore was in shreds on the floor, the buttons pulled, the hem frayed; Hunk would have me dead if he found out. Lance took the opportunity of my surrender to get fully in control, his teasing hands slipping beneath my waistline until the zip and belt was infuriating to him. All I could do was lie there watching him as he peppered my neck with rough, wet kisses, craning it while my fingers curled in the sheets, almost whispering his name for more.

"You're cute," he purred, tracing his index and middle fingers along my left cheek. "Especially when you're below me. How does it feel to be on the bottom when you're an Alpha?"

"Endearing." I swallowed. The lustful, sleazy grin on his face was enough to make me whimper. I wished I could dive into his head and find all the thoughts swimming around in his head. I bet they were so filthy. "Arousing."

Lance chuckled darkly, cupping my waistline with his slender fingers before tugging it away in one swift motion, buckling the trousers at my ankles, throwing them onto the floor among the rest of the discards. As soon as he laid eyes on my underwear, and the obvious, _excruciating_ tent within them, he almost choked with enthusiasm. He placed his fingertips together, laying himself in between my legs, widening my trembling thighs with warm hands. I bit my lip. I'd only gotten so close to _him_ and I sure hoped he wouldn't hurt himself on purpose for the sake of pleasing me.

"I-I haven't _seen_ it properly," he breathed, his index finger rubbing the small collection of pre that'd soaked into the fabric. I just wanted him to take them off. I still had a fucking _vibrator_ inside me and I was so sure I was going to start sobbing for desperate relief if he didn't move soon. "But the Games were promising."

Oh, the blush on his cheeks was so cute. He suited a haze of pink upon his face, his ocean eyes looking up at me, licking his lips tenderly. With curious fingers, he slowly peeled away the offending fabric and threw it onto the floor. I rested my head against the pillow quickly, intently staring at the ceiling. I felt myself throb everywhere, but particularly _down there_ , where Lance's hand was, his excited fingers gripping me gently -

"Keith, look at me."

I propped myself up onto my elbows with a quivering breath. Suddenly, even though I _knew_ I wished that I hadn't, he still looked adorable despite holding my dick in front of his lips. I expected him to be inexperienced. Even I was inexperienced. My heart rate was rising and I was so thankful I wasn't wearing that shitty device on my wrist any more, because he'd probably laugh at how rapidly it'd flash. I winced slightly as the toy was removed with haste, and Lance discarded it to the side, the glitter upon his cheeks glinting under the small chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

"Where'd your toy box go, Keith?" Lance murmured, slowly pumping his hand, drawing a shuddered moan from my lips. "I said I wanted to have a little fun with you, remember?"

His thumb circled the bead of pre into my flushing skin, trying to get an answer out of me. I craned my neck to the ceiling, rolling my eyes to the sky. He was way too good already and he'd barely touched me.

"U-Under the bed," I quivered, rolling my hips subtly into his grip. Lance left his place and picked up the box, only to toss it without much care onto the bed seconds later. I'd begun to miss the warmth of his soft palms.

"What shall I use on you, hm?" he grinned, pulling out everything blue that lay within the box, all to violate me. It wasn't so bad knowing that he was there doing it. I almost chose the toys that he pulled out, until he settled on some baby-blue rope to secure my hands around my back with, wrapping it around my torso for good measure. Why did I have to be the one on the bottom. Lance would have suited blue way better.

"Look at you," he cooed, gripping the growing knot at the base of my cock. I let out a loud moan as he did so, securing something else, also blue, around it. "You know what this is, right?"

"A cock ring, I'm not an idiot," I blushed. He shook his head and laughed as if I was being naive, and suddenly, the thing between the base and the knot started _vibrating_ and I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Wrong!" he grinned. "It's a vibrating cock ring."

"I was r-right!"

"Awh, am I not being fair?" he muttered, pressing the lowest setting. It was so excruciatingly slow and teased the growing swell with such ease, I wanted to buck into it, even though it was impossible. I whimpered against both the friction and the minor hum against my skin, watching pre leak down the shaft of my cock. "I don't play fair, Kogane."

His tone was so husky and low it sent terrified yet ecstatic shivers down my spine. Something warm and wet began lapping me up and I mewled loudly, unable to stifle anything embarrassing that came out of my mouth. His lips looked so pink and his eyes were so dangerous. I wasn't able to keep it together at all.

"H-How long," I panted, stifling a whimper through a bitten lip as I watched my length disappear into his hot mouth. "How long are you going to keep me like this?"

Lance's cheeks hollowed as he sucked hard, releasing me with a loud _pop_. It wasn't fair. He was already so good at this. "Until you scream for me."

It wasn't like I was _trying_ to wriggle free. The chafing of rope against skin was almost pleasurable and the feeling from Lance's mouth made every single emotion condense into pure bliss. I writhed against his touch, obeying his every command; one of his favourites was to never take my eyes off of him because he enjoyed the faces I made. I was a moaning, whimpering mess before him and I didn't mind a bit.

The gentle vibrations made it so much better and I couldn't stop leaking onto his eager tongue, sliding and lapping every inch of me up like he was trying to taste every part. I didn't know if he could. I didn't know how far he could reach it into -

"Oh, _fuck_ , Lance," I panted, feeling my cock brush past the roof of his mouth, almost hitting the back of his throat as I tried my hardest not to snap my hips up. He'd never forgive me if I did that. He kept going and I almost wanted to urge him to stop, but I was so hypnotised by the feeling of pleasure that I just had to watch as his tongue flitted over the knot, reaching the cock ring, leaving me shaking like a leaf under his grasp.

" _Nnnh-_ L-Lance, _Lance, oh my God- "_

He looked at me, filthily, under his dark fan of eyelashes, grinning as he released me with another slick pop. 

"I love you in blue," he whispered, kitten-licking the strained tip of my cock. "Especially with all that glitter and makeup on your face. I can't wait for all of it to be smeared everywhere when I'm done with you."

The way he spoke was so alluring I almost came right there and then. I tensed against the rope holding me together - it might as well be holding my sanity, too - and his tongue was far too talented for my own good. I could write a novel about his tongue. With the vibrations humming around my knot I felt the coil within my abdomen tightening. I couldn't come over _him._ I'd be too embarrassed to talk to him afterwards.

"I'll be back, I saw something in your drawers that appealed to me," he winked, and I led there whimpering like a needy puppy, my eyes straining as I stared at the ceiling with so much intent it almost hurt. I wanted release. I wanted - no, _needed -_ relief, otherwise I was going to hurt myself trying to get out of my restraints. When I moved my head to watch him, his legs were flexing as he leaned down to open the drawer, pulling out something soft-looking and pastel red, almost pink in colour. They were thigh-highs and, as soon as he pulled them onto his slender, smooth legs, I almost whined.

"Oh, look," he chuckled, walking over carrying something blue. "A pair for you as well."

"Lance," I panted, watching him pull a sock up my leg, securing it around my thigh. "Can you just- _please_ can you just -"

It felt humiliating to wear thigh-highs but since he was fond of seeing me in his colour, I obliged. It wasn't as if I could do anything about it with my arms tied behind my back. As Lance looked down at me, smiling with adoration while I quivered with the lack of stimulation, I almost begged for him to fuck me. He had his arms folded, tracing his eyes over my slick body, his cock twitching against mine as he cupped them and stroked with such a delicate pace I began bucking into his hand.

"Hey, no head starts," Lance moaned, the hum of the vibrator pressing against his shaft. He reached into the box and lazily tugged out a bottle of blue liquid, releasing it onto our twitching lengths, twisting his other palm over our strained tips. The alternate thrusts we adjusted too were almost too much. I felt every tiny little ridge and vein against my sensitive, throbbing cock, so much that I almost cried with pleasure when his fingers flitted over the knot.

"Go faster," I whimpered, watching as his hips snapped upwards, rolling them into mine, creating more friction. "Lance, just -"

"Just what, Keith?" he panted, his hand stroking us faster until I seethed through gritted teeth. "Yeah, like that?"

I nodded quickly, moaning his name in more of a choked sob.

"You're doing so well," he breathed, his eyes lidded. "You want me to fuck you, huh? You ready to get out of that rope yet?"

I shook my head, my toes curling in the socks which Lance was extremely fond of.

"Good," he growled, placing his hands on the inner, trembling areas of my thighs. "Spread your legs, sugar."

I did as I was told, even blushing at the "good boy" he muttered soon after, feeling him slide himself in. I locked my legs around his waist and he pushed, slowly, all the way inside, while I whimpered in impatient ecstasy against him. Lance cupped my cheeks and thumbed my bottom lip, a small grin playing upon his lips.

"How rough?" he whispered, biting down on the flushed skin of my chest, and a low purr rumbled from the back of my throat. _Make me_ _yours_ _._ "How much do you want it, Keith? How much do you want me?"

"S-So- _haah-_ much, Lance..." I whimpered, watching purple bruises fade upon my pale skin. I loved the effort Lance's makeup artist made to cover up the bruises I'd made on his neck. The bites were so deep, too. He looked gorgeous with them decorating his chest and shoulders. "I need you so fucking bad."

His pace suddenly quickened inside me, earning a loud whimper of his name. He rose slightly, gripping my waist, eagerly pounding away with the most adorable, blissful smile upon his face, and I felt so filthy and impure just lying there. He felt bigger than expected. And warmer. And slightly wetter, too - the sting of being stretched mixed with the feeling of hot pleasure. It was so bittersweet it was enough to make me curl my fingers, even though it was slightly impossible.

Lance leaned down and sucked on my earlobe, nuzzling at the glitter on my cheekbones. "Scream for me," he muttered, smearing the blue paint on my cheeks. He snapped his hips harder than I expected. I began to slur my phrases, not even bothering with proper vocabulary.

 _"Lance!"_ I yelled, curving my spine to get more of him. He reached deeper inside, his nails raking along my back as I arched it, his teeth sinking into my sweating skin; the vibrations beneath my knot were driving me crazy and if he kept this up I was going to _cover him_ in more ways than one. "L-Lance, give me more -!"

Lance moaned my name into my ear as drawn-out and sexy as he possibly could to push me to the brink. He flicked off the vibrator and slammed into me harder, his desperate gasps and pants ricocheting against my neck. He was so hot. His red glitter started to coat my collarbones and mine fell into his hair, making it glisten.

I didn't know if I could withstand it any more. I was going to come undone beneath him and it wasn't so humiliating any more; I adored him finally taking advantage of all my soft spots, becoming more of a dominant Omega rather than a shy one.

He was adorable either way.

"Lance, make me come," I panted, squeezing my legs around him tighter. "Make me f-fucking _come -"_

His fingers threaded through my ponytail, tangling the loose strands of hair between them, his deep, low moans stifled within my neck. I was going to burst. With the previous stimulation of the two different vibrators and feeling him stretch me it was getting far too much. I arched my back in sheer pleasure, feeling the swell in my abdomen inflate into something so _hot_ I had to try and keep myself together while being tied up. Our moans were breathless and needy. Lance lifted himself until his hands were on either sides of my head, his hips dipping and snapping faster, rapidly picking up the pace, leaving me completely at his disposal below him.

Suddenly, he tensed and gripped me closer, chuckling filthily into my neck as he released inside of me, his nails digging into my sweating skin. He didn't leave until he was sure I was full, but due to his Omega instinct, he caught his breath upon my chest while I attempted to squirm my way out of an orgasm. I whimpered desperately, feeling him giggle out of spite.

His hand stroked my needy cock rapidly, at the same time riding out his orgasm, providing enough stimulation against my prostate to send me keening as I was pushed to the edge. With a loud moan of his name, I was so sure I was close enough - but he did the same old trick, and wrapped his fingers around the base of my knot, preventing me from coming.

"Lance," I panted. I needed it so badly.  "Lance, Lance _please -_ "

"Please what?" he grinned, circling the flat of his tongue on the tip of my straining cock, and suddenly I wished he didn't, because he was going to be covered only because there was so _much_ and it wasn't even my fault -

"Please let me c- _haah, Lance!!"_

All at once while my body convulsed, I felt myself spilling onto his awaiting tongue while his quick hand made sure I was fully drained, his face coated in thick ropes of white. The dirty, satisfied smile he gave me was anything but negative. One hand kept stroking while the other cupped and tenderly rubbed my sensitive knot; Lance laughed at how tender I was. I caught my breath, still whispering his name in ardour.

His eager tongue lapped up the mess, his hand wiping it away from his cheek and nose, sucking it away from his fingers just like when he ate that cream-filled pastry for breakfast. His gaze never left mine.

I dropped my head against the pillow and tried to catch my breath. Lance crawled over and untied the rope, finally letting me breathe again, and he kissed all of the accidental red imprints that the chafing caused. He was so caring despite having me tied up in the first place.

"Was I good enough?" he panted, walking towards the door to flick the lightswitch. "I hope that wasn't painful for you."

Lance shifted away all of the toys, before crawling into bed with me. We didn't even bother removing the socks. It was unecessary effort.

"You were perfect," I whispered. I'd realised how much better it felt sleeping in a bed with him. "I had a lot of fun."

"That's all I need to know," he yawned, pulling the covers up to our noses. He draped a leg over my torso and his hand laid upon my chest, delicately feeling all the scars, knowing that someday they were all part of a bad dream. "Did you miss me when I was in the pod?"

I nodded. His eyes glistened under the pale moonlight pouring in from the window. My heart ached remembering he was still in there yesterday. "I never left your side until I knew I had to sleep."

"Really?" he whispered, a soft smile widening his lips. "It feels nice being in bed with you for once. The night of the party felt different."

"I know what you mean," I smiled, smoothing my fingers through his hair, feeling him shiver against me.

"Hey, Keith," Lance began. "Do you- are mates still a bad idea to you?"

I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his warm waist. They definitely were the best idea I'd ever made in my life.

"You're the only good idea I've ever had," I whispered.

Lance smiled into my neck, giving the shell of my ear a good nuzzle. "I'm so lucky," he sighed.

"Me too," I whispered. We clutched each other as tight as possible as if we were leaving instantaneously. "You don't know how lucky I am -"

But when I looked down to kiss his forehead, he'd already slipped into a well-deserved sleep. My heart melted. I kissed his forehead and cuddled him closer, finding the musky, sea-like scent of his hair, feeling him in my arms, and finally falling asleep, knowing he was right there, alive and well, sleeping like a kitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope the sin was sinful enough for your sinning needs


	52. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nice sharing a bed.

For once the mornings weren't so full of terror and emptiness and I was in the comfort of the cosy sheets, wrapped up in the arms of Lance as he spooned me from behind, his soft lips resting in the nape of my neck. Maybe being shorter _did_ have its perks, and I knew i was getting softer every time I was around him. How ironic that I used to loathe him with every inch of my being. We had a rough start and I'd never acted upon anything like that in this way before. I couldn't even believe he fell in love me with too after all that. It couldn't been due to the drunken haze of his heat, nor the alcohol he was drinking.

Lance, I learned, returned feelings quickly. No matter what he was still as selfless as ever and we saved each others' lives so many times. I owed him so much - but to be honest, after all that'd happened, I knew we both wanted to forget about it.

We'd be going to home soon. Today, in fact - and I didn't know if I was ready. I didn't know how my father was going to feel about the 'mate scenario' and if he was tolerant about me bringing Lance home. Perhaps I could return last. I didn't want to face discipline when I'd fought other people to the death over the past few weeks.

As I rose from my slumber, but keeping my eyes shut, relishing the deep red of my eyelids, knowing the golden rays of the sun were pouring into the window. Lance was murmuring in his sleep, his arms tugging me closer while I rested. He wasn't muttering anything in particular - except, it wasn't in _English_ , so even if I listened, I couldn't understand it.

Perhaps it was in something in particular. I didn't even know the Districts of Altea had certain languages. And Lance had never, ever brought it up before. Perhaps it was just a sleep thing. _"Amor_ _"_ was a word uttered every now and then as I drifted in and out of my tired daze; maybe it was just my drowsiness. It could've been anything at that point. I just relished the feeling of bare skin contact, and the soft tickle of his breath against my neck. Suddenly, he took a deep breath and stirred, his grip around my waist tightening.

"Morning, beautiful," he whispered, and I lazily opened one eye. I'd certainly never been called that before. With a small grunt, I turned to face him, wrapping my arms tenderly around his waist. Sleepy Lance was warm. And his hair was fluffy and tousled. "The last time we did this, you left."

"'s not gonna happen this time," I whispered, letting him brush strands of hair away from my face. "I'm staying here forever."

"Forever?" Lance smiled, brighter than the morning sun outside. I gazed up at him, the silhouette of his figure outlined by the golden sun, the rays emphasising the glow of his honey skin, shining a light on all of those little baby-pink scars he had running, like tiger stripes, down his arm. "Why forever?"

"Warm," I murmured. "And I've gotten so used to sleeping next to you, I feel a withdrawal when you're not around."

Lance placed a kiss on my forehead, a small smile creeping onto my lips. I couldn't believe how happy I was. I'd never been this happy. I had no impulse to be selfish, purely because I didn't have a reason to. His eyes reminded me of the rivers back home, how gentle they were, how they always had some sort of ease in them, no matter what the weather. The sky was a good association, too. He must've been through so much back home regarding how he worked, and his family. He was probably a middle child. Maybe being away from them was some sort of an escape.

He was giving me the same awestruck gaze, his thumb gently caressing my relaxed cheeks. His eyes were focused on them, his mouth forming a half-grin. He was looking at something _I_ had and I was wondering if it was a scar. My smile faded. I furrowed my brow.

"What?" I whispered. Lance chuckled quietly.

"You've been in the sun," he cooed. "There are freckles on your nose, and a few on your cheeks."

"Huh?!" I sat up quickly, grabbing the small mirror on my nightstand, forgetting I was completely bare, the baby-blue socks still pulled up to my thighs. I glared at my reflection, trying to angle the mirror so I could see my skin clearly. There they were, tiny little speckles featuring haphazardly, but mostly in clusters, around my nose and my upper cheeks. Lance rolled onto his stomach, the sheets shifting until they rested upon his firm butt.

"I think they suit you," he shrugged. His back was riddled with scars, and they stretched as he reached over to pull off the socks from my legs. He got up after that, crawling to the end of the bed, tossing them into the open drawer. I distracted myself from my face and focused on the little light lightning-bolt marks upon the back of his legs, placing my mirror back where it belonged. They looked like stretch marks, but they were part of _him_. I wasn't going to mention them in case he felt insecure - nonetheless, I found them adorable.

I sat back and pulled the sheets onto my lap, letting him sit in it. I toyed with the hem of his thigh socks, walking my legs up his soft stomach. I couldn't believe I had freckles. _Freckles._ Probably because I hadn't been outside for that long in a while and I wasn't surprised if I'd tanned in a few places, even though the prominent lines were in odd places. Lance shimmied down and rested his head upon my chest. I slid his fingers through his tousled hair, the glitter still stuck to his cheeks and some glinting in his hair.

"You were speaking in another language in your sleep," I muttered. "Do you even speak another language?"

"I was?" he yawned, wrapping his arms around my torso. "And yeah, sometimes at home I do. Why?"

"I didn't know there were other languages. And you never told me before."

"It's a weird and unecessary thing to know," Lance chuckled. "And apparently the old Altea used to have many languages. Dad says it's Spanish."

"I've never gone beyond Twelve before," I murmured. "I'm sorry. But it's fascinating."

Lance grinned. "I've been near enough Five to see the Holt power plant, so I guess I could relate to your situation."

I really wanted to hear more of him speaking in his little sleep language. What was it? Spanish? I wondered if he could teach me.

"I didn't know different Districts had different languages," I muttered. "You were saying something in your sleep. A-amor? Something like that?"

Lance squeezed me closer. "Love," he murmured.

"Why?"

"I don't know?" he laughed, looking up at me. "Am I lying in bed with a stranger? I was probably speaking to you, you idiot."

I chortled a little. "Yeah, I understand now."

Lance crawled back underneath the bedsheets and laid his head upon my chest, running his fingers along all the scars. He seemed so mesmerised with them.

"Home today," he whispered. "Are you nervous?"

"Mm," I shrugged. "I'm nervous about my father rather than anything else. And the state of my District."

"Well, you won, right? Your family is going to be showered in riches," Lance looked up. "So is mine. So are the Holt's."

"Lance please don't be disappointed or disgusted if you visit my District."

I was so paranoid about the whole poverty aspect back in Twelve. My house was only big enough for me and my parents and we weren't even supplied with Internet access. Lance and Pidge had it lucky. They were better off. Wealthy. Happy. Lance kissed my bicep.

"Don't you worry about a thing," he kissed me again, on my neck this time. "You are," a kiss on my chin. "The most gorgeous," my nose, "handsome," my forehead, "bravest guy I've ever met," my lips. "And nothing will change that, alright? Everyone knows the state of Twelve."

"I guess," I smiled. He kissed that too.

"You should smile more often."

"I think I'm physically incapable."

Lance giggled. "I'm nervous about going home. My mom is probably worried sick. And my siblings."

"I'm sure they'll greet you with open arms -"

"Morning," Pidge slowly opened the door, wearing her fluffy gown, the hood pulled over her head. She wore a pair of comfy-looking shorts and a t-shirt, her slippers still looking as soft as ever on her feet. Her glasses perched on her nose, and despite her bedhead, she still looked sophisticated. "Sorry, did I interrupt?"

"No, not at all," Lance draped his arm over my stomach while Pidge sauntered in, closing the door behind her. She walked over and sat on the bed, cross-legged, in front of Lance and I. "You excited about going home?"

Pidge nodded. "Matt's currently with Shiro right now so I'm kind of being excited on my own."

"I bet your parents are going to be so proud," I grinned, lightly scratching Lance's scalp. "You've been so brave, you saved us all back in there."

Pidge's cheeks reddened. "I try my best."

"Make sure you get some good night's rest tonight," Lance said. "In your own bed. I bet your room is so big."

"I kind of really want to get home for the sake of my brother and I having a good sleep," she nodded. "But I'm so excited to see my dog. And my mom and dad."

"Then we should head to Five first," I stretched my legs out underneath the bed. "You guys have parents and a pet and everything."

"But that's not all, I don't know what I'm going to do without you guys," Pidge bit her lip. "Will we keep in touch? Are you thinking of living in the Victor's Quarters?"

I shook my head. Lance shrugged. "Maybe we could write each other letters."

"Letters?" Pidge scoffed. "I'll see if I can design a communication device back at home."

"Good luck," Lance whistled. "I'll miss you. I don't know about Keith though."

I snorted. "Of course I'll miss Pidge. I'll miss Matt. Everyone, really."

"Shiro?" Pidge raised a brow. I shrugged.

"Shiro's tolerable. I doubt we'll really miss each other."

All of us shared the same look as we were called down for breakfast. We really didn't want to leave the castle, but we all knew if we wanted to go home, we'd have to leave at some point. Pidge got up and out, wishing us a good morning, while Lance pulled me in and firmly kissed my cheek. I was so nervous about everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :")


	53. Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to say farewell to friends.

Breakfast was just as delicious as ever and I'd missed the amount of food that was laid out for us ever since the Games. Since it was our last day, they made everything to our specifications, and we were dressed formally, despite our casual-looking attire. Finally, Hunk was kind enough to give me a pair of jeans and a suitable shirt. Lance settled for a lighter pair of jeans and a comfortable jacket. Pidge sat opposite, her fingers laced around a steaming, black mug of coffee, wearing a deep green sweater and black jeans. Matt seemed similar, but he'd chosen a navy button-up shirt.

"Everyone looks so normal," Pidge yawned, pushing her glasses onto her nose. She barely wore any makeup, either. Neither of us did. "I almost don't want to go home."

"Me neither," Lance chuckled. "I mean, I haven't eaten  _this_ good for a while."

I didn't know what to say.

I preferred living in my District, with my childhood home, my photo albums, my clothes, the smell of the pine-tree forests nearby; I even preferred running off during the early hours of the morning just to find something to kill and sell. I enjoyed running for exercise. I enjoyed the company of my father and the quiet atmosphere of my house.

But sometimes it was too quiet. And mom wasn't there and neither was anyone else. My father and I were lonely in our own respects. We couldn't fend for ourselves much longer, despite what I'd won from the Games. The Capitol was so luxurious and stable, unlike my District. And every time I went outside I was reminded of my mother and what happened to her. I'd be without Lance. Without my best friends. 

Lance sat so closely to me and I could take in his scent easily. He'd put cologne behind his ears. He looked  _normal_ without all the glitter, the makeup, the suits. I preferred it that way. I preferred Pidge and Matt that way. He was clutching a mug of coffee, much like Pidge was. I was going to miss this and I couldn't believe I was admitting it.

I was going to have to live with all the scars, new and old, and the nightmares that came with it. Finally, I could relax, but would I be officially left alone by the press? I hoped so. I hoped we all did. Pidge had to hold the burden of taking many peoples' lives, and so did I, although I didn't kill as many as she did. Would my father still accept me if I'd done that?

And most of all, I will never,  _ever_ get that image of Lance disappearing underneath the waves. His hair was still streaked silver, and even if it was dissipating little by little, nothing would take that scene out of my mind.

Suddenly, while I stared at my mug of coffee, glaring at my reflection, Lance flicked my thigh with a concerned grimace playing on his usually-ecstatic face.

"You okay?" he muttered. Pidge and Matt were staring. "Anything bothering you?"

I shook myself out of my anxiety-induced gaze. "Mm? Yeah, I'm okay."

Would my father accept me for having  _Lance?_

"Is it your dad?" Pidge asked, raising her mug to her lips. "Because you can be dropped off first."

"I'd like to be dropped off last," I nodded. "You both deserve to get home. Lance deserves to get home. I just have my dad."

"We all deserve to get back home," Matt propped his chin up with his hand. "Does there have to be a specific order? Shiro?"

Shiro looked up from a small, handheld, holographic device. "There doesn't have to be a specific order, no."

"What's that?" I asked. I had barely grasped electricity back in District Twelve. It was so embarrassing.

"It's like a communication device," Pidge explained. "The Capitol made it. Matt has one because Shiro got him one. But it's connected to the Internet, has the ability to take voice calls, and take photos. Apparently the entire Capitol has one and I'm appalled that I'm missing out."

"Could we all have one?" I suggested. "We live in different Districts, it'd only be sensible, right?"

Shiro shrugged. "They'd have to create a small batch for all of you, so the likelihood is, they'd be posted to you."

After we'd finished, we all gathered our necessary belongings from our bedrooms, which wasn't a lot at all. I ensured that my bed was made and the room was tidy enough to be acceptable. These rooms were  _ours_ now, so we could return at any time - although I lived far away from the Capitol. I just had to see. I was so nervous about going home and I was confident that I could get away with arriving last. Pidge and Matt had to get home first. Their parents probably missed them the most.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my gloved hands. Hunk would let me take them home, surely. They were too fascinating to give away. I had the navy pair in my pocket for the sake of having a souvenir.

"Hey."

Lance leaned against the doorway, a rose in between his teeth, before the door moved forward and he tripped. I chuckled a little bit.

"You dork," I grinned. "What's the rose for?"

"I'm so smooth, my middle name is smooth," Lance winked, placing the rose in a vase on the desk in the far side of the room. "And you look really nervous. The train is here, so, we have to get down fast."

"Yeah, I don't know," I shrugged. Lance sat behind me, his leg draped off the bed, his chin on my left shoulder. The scent of both him and the cologne made me shudder. I really needed to hug him before we left. "I think it's just seeing my father again. I'm - I've never been  _close_ with my father and -"

"Listen," Lance wrapped his arms around my waist. "You have plenty of time to worry about what other people think of you when you're older. You're still, what, nineteen? And you're worried about what your father thinks of you?"

I shrugged, turning my head to the side to see him.

"And if you really want, you can go last if it's making you feel that sick," he suggested. "I have all of my siblings and my parents. No doubt I'll have other relatives. I'm just as scared as you are because I have scars all the way down my arm and leg and a few scrapes on my face. Pidge has that deep one on her cheekbone. I'm sure the siblings are also terrified."

I turned around, the only thing I could do was hold him for a little while in silence. It was going to be strange without him. Without his voice, his laugh, his murmuring in his sleep. I couldn't believe we were going to be taken from one another  _again_ after all we did together. With my bottom lip quivering, I shifted closer, burying my nose in his warm neck, wishing I could stay there forever. I was right. His cologne made him smell even more attractive.

"Hey, Keith, it's okay," Lance whispered, his fingers curling in my shirt. His voice was quivering too. "I'm gonna miss you too."

Just hearing him say that made my heart shatter. I didn't want to go home. I just wanted to stay here in the Capitol. I'd even tolerate Shiro if it meant just an  _hour_ with Lance. I wanted to do something,  _more_ than an embrace,  _more_ than a kiss, and it didn't involve anything passionate either.

Actually, if what I had in mind was that intimate, it may as well have been passionate.

"Lance, do you trust me enough to give you a bond bite?"

"A what?" Lance lifted his head. "B-But I'm not in heat -"

"I just," I swallowed the hard, painful lump in my throat. "I-I don't know. I'm an idiot."

Lance cupped my cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from them. "If I see you again -"

"What do you mean,  _if?"_ I sniffed. "L-Lance, I don't -!"

"I meant when," he bit his lip guiltily. "I really enjoy my time with you and I'd love to bond with you, but we're literally about to go home, and we have no time."

"I guess," I swallowed. He pulled me onto one final hug, squeezing me tightly. "I'm an idiot for suggesting it."

"You're not," he laughed through his tears. "You're just forgetting that it hurts when I'm not in heat or you're not, y'know. In a rut."

I laughed a little bit. "Come on, we gotta get the train, idiot."

With the smallest, happiest little smile, he touched his forehead against mine. I loved the colour of his eyes, and the warmth of his skin. I wanted to be with him for ages. Years. He truly made me the happiest I've been in my life, ever, and knowing we had to be separated, broke my heart. I knew we'd see each other again, but it was going to be a while. Maybe the Victor's Quarters were a possibility.

He leaned in and cupped my chin, tenderly kissing my lips. I was going to miss those too. My heart hammered and I immediately clutched him closer to kiss him deeper. His lips were to soft. So was his touch, his skin. His eyes. 

"Hey- whoa, sorry," Pidge leaned against the doorframe, wiping her lenses on her sweater, her cheeks stained with running mascara. "I'll leave if you guys are having a moment."

"No, it's okay," I laughed. "C'mere, what's wrong?"

"You guys are crying too," she smiled sympathetically. "I just realised that I'd made friends and we became a team and everything -"

Lance beckoned her closer and she sat between us, our arms wrapped around each other in a big group hug. It was unbelievable that we were all strangers before this and we all hated one another at some point. Someone else joined, sneaking his way into the middle of the huddle, and Lance began to laugh.

"Matt, you can't be a sneaky shit," he grinned. "We know you're soft on the inside."

"A soft Alpha? No way," Matt's cheeks were also tearstained. "We need to get on the train."

We all walked down the large, empty, quiet halls of the castle, leaving everything behind, our hands interlocked as we strolled. I had conflicted feelings. I still felt embarrassed about asking Lance for a bond bite after forgetting that they were painful outside of a heat; I wanted to curl under a rock and die at that point. The station wasn't so far away, and we made it there by a pristine, white car, with grey leather seats.

We entered the train in silence, sat opposite, and sometimes, on top of one another. Lance's fingers were intertwined in mine, his hand trembling as he leaned his head against the window. I had mine on his shoulder. Matt was sat opposite, asleep against Shiro's bicep. Pidge was bouncing her knee, drinking from a tall glass of water. Everyone was nervous. I was surprised Matt was comfortable enough to fall asleep. 

"District Five first, right?" Lance murmured, turning his head. We sped past rivers, forests, cities. I caught my District in the distance and felt my heart leap out of my chest. The power plants of Five stood tall in the distance, as well as multiple power lines. "Good luck, Pidge."

"My mom is going to kill me," she huffed. "I left the house with a ponytail and now I'm going back with a dead animal on my head. At least it looks like that."

"Maybe get it cut properly?" I suggested, not moving my head from Lance's shoulder. I couldn't leave that scent. "Have it styled. Something like that."

"At least it's not like Keith's mullet," Matt murmured, not even opening an eye. "We all need a haircut. I need a birthday party."

I snorted. "There aren't many salons in Twelve. And you need a shave."

"Hey," Matt opened a lazy eye, an idle grin stretching his lips. "I take pride in my stubble."

Pidge rolled her eyes, placing her glass on the table in front. "At least -"

_"District Five's station, please remember your belongings."_

The siblings sat up and looked at each other, before sharing a glance with us. It was time to greet their parents, after so long, and I was sure I saw anxiousness in their eyes as we got off the train. Shiro pulled Matt into a hug in silence. Lance and I had to come too. We were all some sort of family, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare for tears


	54. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Matt go home.

We took an escort car all the way to the Holt power plant, with an Altean guard as the driver, noticing how many people were stood on the streets cheering and waving, all because of the siblings' efforts to stay alive. Pidge and Matt laughed to themselves while Lance and I watched them wave back, with wide, happy smiles plastered on their faces. Shiro sat at the front, conversing with the Altean guard.

We passed many power plants. Large buildings. Even ponds and a few beautiful lakes but the amount of forest was tiny compared to what I had back home. This whole District was running and supplying electricity back home and no wonder Matt and Pidge seemed so smart. They were basically young geniuses and I couldn't blame them. They were smarter than anyone.

The scar upon Pidge's cheekbone was rather deep. Matt had a couple of scrapes and cuts here and there. Considering he'd _died_ , he probably had a large amount of scar tissue on his stomach.

However, knowing that, his parents saw him die. They had no idea he was still around. I was nervous for the both of them.

"Alright, the Holt residence," the car halted right in front of a large house, smaller than a mansion but larger than the average home. it had three floors and a balcony overlooking the front. All I could do was gaze at it in awe, feeling envious of their entire house. They had apple trees around the back. Pidge and Matt looked back at us, nervous smiles upon their faces. They didn't want to go. I knew they didn't.

"Can you two come too?" Pidge asked. "I know our parents will be grateful if they saw you."

Lance nodded. "Sure, your house looks like a blast."

"It's way different inside, believe me," Matt opened the door. "It smells of pine candles all the time and there are books everywhere."

Better than fire, I guessed.

Pidge was hesitant to leave the car, despite Matt holding out his hand. She took a deep breath and climbed out, before Lance and I did, and Shiro followed last. We walked up the stone pathway, riddled with orange leaves, following the siblings as they finally reached their door. It felt odd to be in another District. It was cold, too. Winter wasn't far behind if it hadn't arrived already.

The door opened with a tall male and female, their hands clasped over their mouths as the siblings ran over to their parents, wrapping their arms around one another tightly. All I could hear was relieved sobbing. Matt held his mother tightly, while Pidge was closer to her father, but all in all, they were all drawn to one another in a close family reunion. I had to swallow the painful lump threatening tears in my throat. I didn't have anything like that. Lance did, which was why he was smiling at the siblings, probably.

"It's me, it's me, I'm here," Matt sniffed, comforting his mother. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Katie, look at your hair!" their father gasped, tucking a stray strand behind her ear. "Look at you, Pigeon, all grown up."

"I was still eighteen before we left," Pidge laughed through her tears, giving her mother a hug. "Hey, mom."

"I can't imagine what my family is going to be like," Lance sighed happily, smiling at the ecstatic family in front of us. "I'll probably be suffocated with amount of hugs."

"Matthew, what happened?" their father clutched Matt's shoulders. "Look, we'll listen to your little adventures when you're settled, I'm sure the dog is somewhere."

Lance and I shared a look. Were we going back to the car? Shiro stood with us, his arms folded. Pidge looked back and wiped her cheeks, gesturing to us.

"This is Lance from Four and Keith from Twelve," she explained. "They were part of our alliance. We wouldn't have been able to survive without them."

Her mother lifted her head. She looked so incredibly delighted to see her children. "Would you two like to come in?"

Shiro shrugged. I guessed we were off the hook.

After more hugging and emotional greetings, we were invited inside their large house and brought into their living area. It was open-plan, with a staircase leading to the upper floors. Bookshelves were everywhere. The kitchen was big and had many overhead cupboards. A wide screen television was fixed to the wall, a glass coffee table in front, surrounded by leather chairs. There was a dog bed in the corner. Orchids were common, too. Upon a few dressers sat jars containing cacti. We waited for the siblings to rush down the stairs with their dog, its tail wagging at a million miles an hour.

They brought it into the living area and sat down to cover it in as much affection as they could handle, earning many little dog licks and paw pats as it rolled over for a good rub on its stomach. Lance cooed. He was so eager to see it.

"I wish I had a dog," Lance smiled. "He looks so fluffy, Keith, look."

The dog dashed over and gave my fingers a few licks, with Lance crouching down to give it a few pets on the head. The siblings hung about with their parents in the kitchen, preparing drinks and snacks. Lance and I eventually sat down on a couch, with Shiro following suit.

"This place is huge," I muttered. "My house is barely the size of this living room."

"I'm jealous of their dog and their kitchen," Lance pouted.

Finally, once we were given mugs of tea and a plate of muffins was placed upon the table, the family sat down on the couches with relieved expressions on their faces. I'd be relieved too. This house is too big to be lonely in.

"My name's Sam, and this is my wife Colleen," the father smiled, wrapping an arm around his wife. "We'd like to thank you for taking care of Katie and Matt."

"I think Katie looked after herself," Matt smirked. "She did so well. Better than me."

"We thought you were gone," his mother bit her lip. "How are you here?"

"I was put in a healing pod, which is beyond science, so I can't explain that," Matt laughed. "But Shiro over there managed to help me out in the end."

Shiro grinned. "Matt played a big role in managing the arena."

"Thank you," the father smiled. "I'm sure we'd get nowhere without Matt."

"Hey, I didn't do anything," Matt reached for a muffin. "Katie did most of the work. She did the killing, the running, and survived a bunch of painful, venomous stings. Give her the credit instead."

Pidge's hair got ruffled by her father. "We're proud of both of you."

"So," the mother began, turning her body to us. "Which one of you is which?"

"I'm Lance," I smirked. Lance gave me a small hit on the arm. "Ow! Okay! I'm Keith!"

"Keith from Twelve," she replied. "I watched you with all those knives. The way you train is fascinating and my husband and I were convinced you were going to win."

"So was my dad," I nodded. "Since I'm an Alpha I didn't think it made a difference, so I tried my best. It was difficult out there."

"I'm sure you've made your father proud," she smiled. "Matt's an Alpha but what do you do when your son is stronger than you? I can't even ground him because he's taller than me."

"Keith saved my life so many times," Lance grinned. "He was with us all the way. We started off kinda rough but, we were there for each other in the end. We all were."

I tried my best not to smile too hard at that. Lance was so good with the way he spoke and he was fluent with expressing deep emotion. He was so selfless.

"How sweet," the mother smiled. "Thank you for helping my daughter when she was going through all that. I couldn't watch for at least a day, and I stopped watching for a while when I saw Matt... pass away."

"Matt's going to be fine," I grinned. "We all are, I think. It's just getting to sleep at night."

"Did you have the same scenario?" she gestured to Lance. "Your hair seems off."

"Yeah," Lance stared at his knees. "I was given a fake death to scare Keith and it worked in the most horrible way."

Shiro didn't make eye contact after that and spoke to Matt instead.

"How horrible," she sighed. "At least you're here. You're both here and that's all that matters, right?"

Lance nodded. I patted his shoulder.

"Anyway," she placed her mug on the coffee table and pet the dog in front of her. "How about you two go upstairs and have an explore? Katie and Matt have the weirdest rooms, I'm sure you'll like them. We might just have something simple for lunch if you're willing to stay."

Shiro shrugged. "There's no rush to leave unless Lance really wants to go."

"I don't mind," Lance grinned.

All of us, including Shiro, thundered up the stars until we reached the second floor. On the left was Matt's room. On the right was Pidge's. We went into the older sibling's room first and sat down on the double bed, looking around the room. It was so much better than my room at home.

The floor was beige carpet. A couple of dressers sat to the side, as well as a closet. A desk, along with a desk chair, sat in the corner, with a laptop placed upon the surface. There were many mind puzzles, like wooden logic puzzles, solved upon his shelves. Many books. Many experimental metalwork. There were many disconnected wires strewn everywhere.

"It's been a while since I've been in here," Matt smirked, smoothing his fingers along the silk sheets. "I missed this."

Lance wrestled me down until I was led against him, my back against his chest, and I snickered at the ceiling. What a dork, honestly.

"Matt likes his room to be spotless all the time," Pidge sighed. "Mine is always messy but, I like it that way."

"Tell that to the spiders under your bed," Matt snorted. "Go and show them your room, I'm going to have some time with Shiro."

Pidge tutted loudly, kicking open her bedroom door as we followed her. Matt closed his and that was that. Lance gave me a knowing look. We both knew why Matt wanted time with Shiro.

Pidge's room wasn't that messy at all. Her bed was bigger than her brother's and she had two laptops set up on her desk instead of one. The wall behind her bed featured a wallpaper of a forest, as well as fairy lights which she switched on. There were open books on her dresser. Her closet door was still open. She sat on the bed and stretched out onto her back, looking at her ceiling. Lance and I sat against one another.

"I'm going to be lost without you two," Pidge huffed, picking up a pair of magnets from her nightstand and playing with them. "It gets quiet sometimes."

"If we all lived in the Victor's Quarters it wouldn't be so lonely," Lance wrapped an arm around my waist. "We could have slumber parties all the time."

I smirked. "And that's why you want to live in the Victor's Quarters."

"Not the only reason," he winked. "I'll be closer to you."

Pidge sat up. "We might be getting those communication handhelds soon."

"Good," Lance kissed my earlobe. "Good luck in life, Pidge."

"You too," Pidge smirked. "We're bound to see each other again. I'm sure I'll miss Keith's moodiness and your snarky comments at some point."

We were then called down for lunch, which was generous of their parents to do so. Pidge went down first, and then Shiro and Matt - but Lance refused to left me move from the bed.

"What is it now?" I laughed. "This is Pidge's room, idiot."

Lance giggled. "I just enjoy it when we're alone."

I kissed his cheek before pulling him up, taking him downstairs, and gathering around the dining table. I'd eaten so much over the past few days it wasn't likely I was going to finish. Pidge and Matt were happier than ever and they loved being around their parents, being followed by their loving dog.

Suddenly, I really wanted to see Lance's family too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holts :")


	55. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is reunited with his family.

Lunch wasn't that bad. All we talked about was the Games and our experiences and Pidge constantly stole the show, laughing loudly as if it'd never happened. Matt almost choked on the sandwich he had in his mouth when Lance mentioned the wasps, and Pidge almost falling out of a tree - we even talked about the time where I'd stupidly headed into that temple, unknowingly, and we were almost crushed to death.

Lance glared at me the entire time. I'm sure he was going to take his time forgiving me on that one. He, however, looked incredibly homesick. It was about time we went to see his family instead. Shiro seemed restless, but it was as if he'd finally settled. He _belonged_ somewhere, perhaps.

"Does Shiro have to leave?" Matt asked. "Mom?"

Shiro shrugged. "I'm a mentor, I can come and go as I please."

"As long as that's alright with the government," his mother pet the obedient dog beside her. "We don't want to get you in trouble."

"I've been in enough trouble." Shiro laughed. "I think it's Lance's turn to go back."

Lance shrugged. "I'd like to go, but we don't have to right now."

"Honey," the sibling's mother laughed. "Go home, you aren't far from Four, remember. We're right around the corner if you and Keith want to stay."

Lance and I smiled. Maybe that was a good idea. I enjoyed being at their house. Their family was stable and could look after themselves. They had successful lives and company was never a problem. Their dog was sleeping on the floor, and if that didn't define comfort, I didn't know what did. The bouncing of Lance's knee told me that he was getting impatient. He was beginning to fidget.

"I wouldn't mind that," Lance chuckled, finishing his glass of lemonade. "Thank you for lunch."

"Anytime."

Before we left, Pidge and Matt came to the door to say goodbye. It felt odd. We weren't going to see one another for a long time, if not ever again, and I'd never really had best friends before. Back in the arena we were all the same people, despite our secondary genders. While their parents stood in the living area, waving us off, the siblings gave us close group-hugs.

"It's going to be weird without you two." Matt grinned, patting my back. "Take care of yourselves. Keith, you have to let things in to your life more. Lance, you are capable of so much more than you think."

It was Pidge's turn to hug me, and even though I was taller than her, she still managed to tip-toe and prop her chin up on my shoulder. She was so distraught, but I knew she was happy at the same time.

"Thanks for dancing with me so I wasn't groped by some random," I laughed. "Stay away from forcefields."

Pidge rolled her eyes, planting a kiss on my cheek. I did the same for her. "I hope you and Lance manage to stay in touch, if anything."

"I hope so too," Lance grinned crouching slightly to hug her. She gave his cheek a peck, making him laugh, before he gave her one too. "Take care, give your dog a kiss from me. Does Matt want kisses?"

Matt smirked. "I've been exposed to enough affection over the past weeks."

"Oh," I laughed. "Have a good birthday, by the way."

Matt nodded, and his sister wiped a stray tear. I didn't want to go. Lance didn't either. They'd been so good to us and protected our very lives as we did for theirs. Pidge didn't look so ill, and Matt looked as healthy as ever. He was probably hiding a lot underneath that shirt. We were all hiding things. With one final wave, and a goodbye to their parents, we walked back down the leaf-strewn paths, looking at the power plants in the distance, surrounded by a homely neighbourhood, beside a large forest.

"Cut the mullet!" Matt called. "Have a safe journey!"

Lance laughed as we entered the car, giving them waves as they left. Shiro remained there. He was probably coming and going to the Capitol, alternating between houses. He probably felt like he belonged with Matt. Or belonged _somewhere_ for once. As I clipped the belt and clutched Lance's hand, Pidge was on her brother's shoulders, waving at us as we left.

They were a family again.

"So I'm assuming your family isn't that small," I chuckled. "I mean, relative to Pidge and Matt's household."

"Mm," Lance nodded. "I think my other relatives are coming. Some of them live in other Districts. One lives in the Capitol, I think. I'm quite young compared to the rest of the children and teens in my family. I'm probably one of the youngest."

"I see," I replied. Lance leaned his head against the window as we left District Five and drove along the road to enter District Four. The difference in appearance was astounding.

District Four laid at the coast of the country, and was slightly bigger than other Districts due to their fishing industry. Boats glided along the ocean, hauling giant nets. Some even swam holding them, their muscles contracting in the afternoon sun. It was a little cold outside and I wondered how they coped in freezing water. Before the boats was a beach that stretched all the way along the road we travelled on.

"Are those palm trees real?" I asked. Lance shrugged.

"I think they were put there by the Capitol," he suggested. "But I swim in that ocean almost every day."

"Do you have a boat?"

"Used to." Lance grinned. "Lost it in a storm. Everyone survived, though. We just had to swim to the shore."

I gasped. "Really?!"

Lance nodded. "I live around here."

Soon enough, we were entering streets lined with eager fans, waving at the car as we sped past, and Lance was suppressing a smile. Maybe he craved attention from the Capitol, but this was different. He was home, and he knew everyone here. These were neighbours, friends, old classmates. His grip tightened on my hand as we turned a corner, and stopped in front of a house that was prettier than I thought it was going to be.

It was a two-storey home with a few flowers planted in the grass. It was fenced off by a tall, neatly-trimmed hedge, and the door was a rich mahogany. The windows were large and glinted in the sun. Upon further inspection I noticed a few little figures racing around in what looked like a living room. Lance laughed nervously.

"McClain residence," the driver smiled. "If you have any plan changes, let me know."

Lance opened the car door and I followed him, leaning against the car as he stood in front of his house, taking a deep, shaky breath. It'd been a while and I knew he was nervous. His hands were visibly quaking as he approached the door, the handle turning before he even reached the entrance. I couldn't wait to see the smiles on his family's faces.

As soon as the door opened, he was greeted with a woman much shorter than he was, a little girl, a taller, young lady, and someone who looked very much like him. I assumed that was his brother. Lance was quickly embraced by the person who I quickly learned was his mother. Even though I tried to listen, she was speaking in another language entirely. I really wanted Lance to teach me in case he said anything corny and I couldn't understand the joke.

 _"Lancey-Lance!"_ the little girl shrieked, and Lance crouched to pick her up, his free hand making it to his cheeks. Oh, no, he was _crying_. I hated it when he cried. He was smiling his widest and tapping the nose of the girl in his arms. I smiled a little bit and approached him slowly, before he turned to me and laughed.

"This is Keith from Twelve," Lance grinned, putting the little girl down. His mother looked up at me, and all I could do was wave. "He's been with me."

His mother beckoned us both inside and suddenly the whole place was a whirl of chaos. Lance had to deal with little siblings, or cousins, grabbing his hand and leading them to things they'd made, particularly pictures they'd drawn and stuck to the refrigerator. I remained in the living room, carefully removing my shoes while all the commotion happened in there. I was so envious of his family. I was envious of Pidge's and Matt's family.

Lance's living room was cosy. A loveseat sat in front of a wooden coffee table, before a television cabinet, a flat-screen situated on top. Photographs of him and his family were everywhere - particularly on the cabinets and the small end-tables. His graduation photo was adorable. Behind me was a staircase. To the left was two glass sliding doors leading to a wooden deck, a jacuzzi that he'd mentioned in the far side. His house smelled like freshly-baked cookies and pine wood.

_"Come on, uncle Lance needs a rest."_

_"Uncle Lance needs to save his friend on the couch_."

I giggled a little bit. Lance was so brilliant with little children and it made me laugh. He soon appeared, leaning against the wall, looking rather dishevelled. The little girl he was holding dashed over and leaped onto the sofa beside me, while he strolled over and sat with me.

I wasn't used to having kids around.

"Meet Lola," Lance ruffled her messy hair. "She's my little sister."

"And you're an uncle?" I raised a brow. "You never told me."

"I'm an uncle with two nephews, apparently," Lance laughed, picking up the cookie his little sister dropped on the floor. "Make yourself at home, just no feet up on the table."

His mother whisked in carrying the plate of cookies Lola had thieved from. She ruffled my hair and gave my right cheek a kiss, but knowing myself, I was never really good at affection from anyone else, so all I could do was smile.

"You can tell me everything later," she smiled. "You can keep your friend around for the night if you wish."

"I think Keith needs to go home," Lance shrugged. "It depends on him."

I could do with avoiding my run-down District for another night.

"That would be great," I nodded. "As long as I'm not a bother."

I breathed a sigh of relief as she made her way into the kitchen again. The taller girl followed, carrying a little boy in her arms. I'd never seen so many kids.

"How old's Lola?" I asked. Lance was tickling her mercilessly, making dinosaur noises as she squealed in his arms. My heart warmed up a little. I'd never seen this side of him.

"Lola, tell Keith how old you are."

"I'm four!" she grinned, a couple of teeth missing from her smile. "Hi Keef, I'm Lola."

 _Keef_. My heart.

"You wanna try that again?" Lance bounced his little sister on his lap. "Say Keith."

"Keef," she giggled. "I like your hair."

"Thank you," I laughed, ruffling her hair. "Can you say my name?"

"Keith!"

"You got it!" I high-fived her. "Hello Lola."

"Lola's a little ball of mischief, aren't you," Lance let her crawl in the middle of both of us. "She likes drawing. Got a crayon stuck up her nose once."

"Didn't we all?" I chuckled, allowing her to sit on my lap. She was so cute. Her little hands played with the hair hanging down my face. "What's your favourite colour, Lola?"

"Lola likes blue," Lance leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Don't you?"

"I like this colour," she said, grabbing my red t-shirt. "It's pretty."

"You little traitor," Lance pouted. I laughed, letting her little hands poke at my nose and cheeks. "Come on, I have to show Keith the rest of the house, he's going to sleep over tonight."

"Can I come?" she asked. Lance shook his head.

"No, Lancey-Lance needs some private time with Keith."

I stared at him. "Private time."

"Can I show him my artwork?"

"Later, princess," Lance lifted her off my lap and put her on the floor. "We'll see you for food, okay? Stay out of trouble."

I waved back at Lola as Lance and I headed upstairs. The walls were riddled with even more photographs. I'd gotten used to seeing his young face, including a time where he wore dental braces, which made me grin. He was so close to his mother, too - although she terrified me a little bit. The upper floor consisted of four rooms, and Lance headed into the one with the closed door.

"Your little sister is adorable," I laughed, following him. Lance grinned.

"She's a troublemaker," he shook his head, chuckling to himself. He then sat down on his king bed.

As I predicted, the walls were a beautiful shade of blue. He owned a Polaroid camera and often took photographs, with the ocean being the most common. He stuck those photographs to his wall, among colourful, spherical lantern lights. His carpet was plush and soft. His closet had a surfboard leaned against it, along with a wetsuit that hung up. His bed was covered in comfortable-looking blankets and pillows. Mahogany seemed to be a favourite in this household. His chest of drawers, desk, mirror, and door consisted of it. There was a bag of cosmetics on the desk as well as a stereo.

"Why do you do that?" Lance asked, walking over to turn on his stereo. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just," I sat on his bed. "I-I don't have this kind of luxury."

"You can live here if you want," he suggested, sitting beside me. "My mom adores you already."

I shrugged. "Where's your father? And your older siblings?"

"Work," Lance smirked. "All of them. You can tell the evenings are already chaotic, but if it ever gets too much, tell me. You're allowed to leave -"

"No!" I tensed. "I mean, no, no. It's okay."

I didn't want to leave Lance just yet. It was too soon. I wasn't ready. Lance flinched at the slight raise of my voice and laid down, propping his head up on a couple of pillows, patting the space beside him. I laid down with him, taking in the scent of his room. I closed my eyes and tried to remember it, listening to the subtle, calm music in the corner, noticing his little hums of content.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was staring at the ceiling while Lance turned on the lanterns that draped over his bed and walls. The glow of each of them made me feel at home. I started to consider the Victor's Quarters. I wanted more quiet moments like this. Without a word, I rested my head in his lap, letting his nails gently scratch the surface of my scalp.

"You're pretty when you're calm," Lance whispered. "Is anything bothering you?"

I closed my eyes with a little sigh. "No," I lied.

"You clench your jaw when you're stressed," he smiled softly. "What's wrong, red?"

I didn't know what to say at that point.

I tried to remember the time where my mother was around. She even used to brush my hair when I was little and helped with homework. She'd go clothes shopping with me when we had extra money and even that was rare. When we got our cat it was like having a new baby and I think my parents were thinking about having another child, too. We just realised it wasn't possible. Not with all the poverty and how low the status of Twelve was.

We'd discussed having a little boy. Or a girl, I didn't mind which. The cat went missing, or was presumed dead. And then my mother had the incident with the forest fire and neither of us could afford the house. I finished school and had to find ways to make money, which were both violent, illegal, and trespassing on banned areas.

"I don't remember the last time I've had a proper family," I muttered, closing my eyes. "I'm so insecure about you visiting. You and the Holt's have already set a living standard that I can't reach."

"That's not your fault," Lance replied. "The Capitol are very uneven with the way they manage their money."

"I know," I sighed. "It gets so quiet and lonely, and not even in a way that I can enjoy it."

"Hey, before you start dwelling, which I know you do," Lance pulled me up to his side and I laid my head upon his chest. "Take a few deep breaths. You can live in the Victor's Quarters, you won the Games, remember?"

"I guess," I lazily draped my leg over his torso. I really wanted to live at the Quarters. I'd be better off, and closer to Lance.

"Tell you what," Lance smiled. "You and I are going to have a slumber party, and we're going to do things as if we'd known each other for years. Okay?"

I nodded, smiling a little bit. "That'd be nice, but does your mom know we're a thing?"

"The whole country knows we're a thing, babe," Lance winked. "She doesn't mind. I'm one of the youngest, I don't think she'd bat an eyelid."

I craned my head to kiss his cheek. "I don't have any pajamas or anything."

"Borrow mine," he grinned. "We're going to have our own place at some point, right?"

"That's the idea, darling," I whispered, caressing his chest. It was the idea. A great idea. I just needed permission from my father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> currently sick with a cold so i hope this chapter wasn't too lacklustre ♡


	56. Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of commotion at Lance's house.

It wasn't long before the rest of Lance's family returned, and while we were relaxing upstairs, quietly singing along to the stereo, we heard them thunder up the stairs to try and get to us. I sat up immediately, and we both raced down, meeting them halfway, before Lance was dragged down by someone who looked like his older brother. He had a lot of older siblings and even his father was happy to see him. I tried my best to get a seat in the living room, but I ended up sitting against the glass doors, watching it all unfold.

"Lance is back!" his older brother chortled, rubbing his knuckles into Lance's forehead as he laughed along with them. "You look rough!"

He was passed from sibling to parent, to another family member entirely. There was a delightful smell coming from the kitchen. I tried to look as reserved as possible because I was bad at holding conversations with people I didn't know. He conversed with both his older sister, his brothers, even his dad. He gave each of them a close hug before they all settled on the couches, and little Lola crawled onto her father's lap.

Before Lance could get suffocated any more, he stepped over me to unlock the doors and I crawled out of his way to let him outside. Luckily enough, there was a dining set out there too, so once everyone had filtered themselves outside, and Lance had greeted everyone he knew, he finally came back to me with a tired sigh and took advantage of the couch, lifting his little sister onto his lap. I got up to sit beside him, listening to all the commotion outside.

"It gets loud," Lance chuckled apologetically, taking the hair tie out of his sister's grip. He then began sectioning her hair. "We'll get into the jacuzzi at some point, I'm currently outshining everyone else, which is rare."

He bit his lip. Did that bother him? If he was a younger sibling then surely he didn't get as much attention as his older brothers and sisters did. Maybe all it took was getting your life taken, saved, falling out of a tree, and almost being crushed to death to finally get noticed. I was interested in his quick fingerwork as he braided his sister's hair so it was out of her face. He tied it and let her go outside.

"Is it hard? Being a younger sibling?" I muttered.

"Sometimes," Lance shrugged. "But getting away from this house was therapeutic. I'm still happy to be home, I missed all the chaos, unbelievably."

"Are you the only Omega?" I asked. "All of your siblings seem boisterous."

"We don't know what Lola is yet, obviously," he scratched the back of his neck. "My oldest brother is a Beta, my older sister is a Beta... everyone else is a Beta."

Alphas were supposedly rare in a household but I didn't think it was going to be  _this_ rare.

"So I might be the only Omega?" Lance laughed nervously. "Unless we know when Lola gets older, then yeah. I haven't had a proper heat since the Games, but if I'm living away from home, I might start having them again. It's complicated."

"Your choice." I muttered, crossing my legs. "Do you own any scent blockers or anything?"

Lance shook his head. "I got put on suppressants ever since I hit puberty because I think my mom wanted me to be a Beta."

I knew I had to make a mental note to get Lance  _something_ for upcoming heats, even if he'd been on suppressants, because we'd be living together, hopefully. And with Matt and Shiro being Alphas, I didn't want them, nor any other Alpha, to be bothered or drawn to Lance's scent. Or our house entirely. We dashed upstairs after that and Lance provided me with some swimwear.

"You have bigger thighs than I do," Lance tapped his bottom lip, staring into his bottom drawer. I was reading from a box of birth control. "Keith, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, just waiting," I put the box back and reached further into the little basket Lance kept underneath the bed. He pulled my arm away and shoved it deeper underneath with a hard kick, glaring at me.

"What makes you think you can delve into a box specifically for Omegas?" he grinned, throwing a pair of swim trunks onto my head. "Privacy, Keith."

I smirked. "What have you got to hide?"

Lance kicked off his jeans and underwear and I tapped his backside with my foot. "A lot of things."

I remained on the bed, looking at the little baby-pink scars on the back of his thighs, leaning over to touch them. He covered them with his hands immediately and tugged on the rest of his swimwear, his cheeks glowing red. They felt like velvet. Softer than the rest of his skin, which I didn't think was possible.

"Get dressed, Kogane," he uttered, a slight sadness in his tone. He shifted his crumpled clothes to the corner of his room. Huh. I wanted to apologise, but I didn't know what I'd done wrong. 

As soon as I'd thrown off my shirt and pulled on the shorts that were a little small for me, Lance sat down on the bed and looked at the deep, jagged scars down my shoulder, left by the jaguar. I looked at the ones on his arm and leg. We gave each other the same look, grinning a little bit. 

"We do look kinda cool, though," he chuckled. "I love yours. They're neat."

The jacuzzi was actually a lot of fun and I didn't want to leave as soon as I'd got in. Luckily for us, we had it to ourselves as the rest of the family spoke at the table, finally giving Lance some space. Lola was running around with her oldest siblings, shooting water at each other with little guns, their laughter filling the air. All Lance and I listened to was the bubbles that surrounded us and the hum of the generator. He'd sunk so far down it was just his chin propped up above the water.

"How can you afford a jacuzzi?" I smirked, tapping his leg with my foot. "You can't even complain about -"

"Keith," Lance opened a lazy eye, the steam reminding me of the hot spring. "It was a present from my grandmother in District One. The reason why we're in here is because I want to take your mind off that kind of thing, alright? Please just let me help."

District One was luxury and suddenly the whole situation made sense. I didn't want to bother Lance any more with my anxieties, but knowing he was there, provided more comfort I'd ever thought was imaginable. He sat back up sighed in relief. The warmth  _did_ help with muscles. Before Lance could talk again, he was interrupted by his eldest brother, who leaned over the edge of the tub, wearing square-framed glasses.

"Nice scars," he grinned. "Who's your friend? Boyfriend?"

Lance grunted in discontent. "Keith, Dylan; Dylan, Keith."

"Of course, I knew that," he tapped his fingers on his cheek. "Keith from Twelve. How's being poor?"

I exhaled slowly, looking at the canopy roof while Lance dealt with the situation. His eldest brother had darker, browner hair than Lance did - although Lance's was still streaked with silver. It was fading slowly.

"Don't be such a prick," Lance muttered. "I believe Keith and I won the Games, so we get the rewards, which is excellent compared to your low life in lumber back in Seven when all you did was mope about how much money you didn't have!"

"Touché," Dylan narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to share that money?"

"Share  _my_ money?" Lance scoffed. "And it's not Keith's fault he's poor."

After that, he walked away, and Lance looked hotter than the water he was sat in. He seemed furious. I'd gotten used to all the remarks about my District, but now I wasn't so sure if Lance was.

"How old is he?" I asked. Lance rolled his eyes.

"I can't remember, he's never around," he huffed. "I think he's around twenty-three. He went to Seven to pursue another job and didn't visit a lot after that."

After we'd soaked up as much water as we could handle, we settled around the table and ate from the congratulatory buffet that Lance's mother had prepared for us. We had towels wrapped around our shoulders as we ate, and the cooking was even better than the Capitol's, in my opinion. I had to visit more often despite Lance's older brother. We spoke about everything, including the siblings. It'd be strange to leave them out after everything they'd done for us.

Lance's parents were grateful that he'd been brought back in one piece. His older sister mentioned that it was quiet without him, and I supported that. Back in the castle and I was waiting for him to get out of the healing pod, it was sickeningly quiet without his laughter and voice around. I had a lot of hugs and kisses. More than I'd anticipated. I enjoyed the affection even though I didn't know how to respond to it properly; all I could do was listen to Lance laugh as I was pulled into his father's side.

"Are you thinking about kids?" his mother said, rather out of the blue. Lance choked on his glass of water, spitting the remainder out into the air beside him. Even I had to pat my chest to get the food lodged out of my throat. The table went quiet.

"I would rather that not be a conversation we have right now," Lance coughed. "I don't think so. I've almost died. Keith's almost died."

"But you'd have such gorgeous -"

Lance glared at his mother. "Not now."

After dinner we were sat on Lance's bed changing into sleepwear. He threw me a pair of comfortable pajama pants with a little shark print on them. They smelled like fabric softener. The conversation about kids kept reeling through my head and at the moment, I couldn't even look after myself. I was never good with kids. Lance seemed traumatised.

"I'm so sorry," he sighed, pulling his curtains across as the sun went down. "I didn't expect that to come out of her mouth, Keith."

"It's not your fault," I snickered. I pulled on one of his grey t-shirts and he sat down behind me, propping his chin up on my shoulder. "You're an Omega, it's bound to be a conversation topic."

"I mean, I love my nephews, I love Lola," Lance huffed, meekly wrapping his arms around my waist. "I just don't want  _it_ to happen to me."

"It's your choice," I squeezed his hands clasped around me. "I'm not even used to having kids around, so it's out of the question."

"I'm sorry." Lance whispered, his nose buried in my neck. He exhaled slowly, his warm breath making the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. There wasn't any need to be sorry. It was way out of the question - Lance was still eighteen. It was way too much to be even thinking about right now. "It's eight o'clock and it's getting dark, what do you want to do?"

"It's your house," I laughed. "I haven't been to a slumber party before."

Lance gasped.

He left the bed immediately and opened up a drawer underneath his desk, bringing out another basket of items that looked a lot like soaps and other toiletries. A bottle of cologne was in there. He had an array of bath bombs, shampoos, conditioners, and hand towels. There were two boxes of wax and a few little plastic sachets. I picked up one of the boxes.

"Why do you have so much hair-removal wax?"

"Easier to swim with," he took the box and put it back. "And I like the feeling of being smooth."

Lance took out one of the sachets and ripped the top open with his teeth. I swallowed. 

I couldn't have those kind of thoughts at his house. I think I'd be shot.

"I've never really had a proper slumber party but I can try to entertain you," he grinned. 

He scooped up a viscous substance with his index and middle finger. It was translucent and blue and smelled of raspberries. I'd never seen anything like it. Lance carefully tucked the stray stands of hair out of my face and smeared the substance onto my cheek, and it stuck immediately.

"Ew," I chuckled. "That's so gross, what is it?"

"It's a mask!" he grinned, coating my face in it. "Have you never done this before? Keith, I'm appalled."

"It's sticky," I pouted. Lance rolled his eyes and opened a different sachet. His mask was a pink colour and smelled like strawberries and cream. With our faces looking shiny, we started laughing at one another, before exclaiming in pain because our skin was being pulled. Lance snickered.

"You've never done this," he laughed. "It's going to be a surprise for you when it comes off, then."

While we waited for the masks to set, we crept downstairs to smuggle snacks from Lance's kitchen. Everyone had gone to bed and even Lance said he'd probably be murdered by his mother for stealing food. It was so quiet downstairs. It reminded me of when I used to sneak out during the early morning hours to head into the woods to find game to sell.

"I tend to come down for midnight snacks," he muttered, opening the cupboards. I sat up on the counter as he rifled through the shelves, picking up anything he could find. He placed two mugs on the counter. "I've never been caught."

"I find that hard to believe," I smirked. Lance winked. The mask on my face was starting to feel rigid and I found it hard to move my jaw. 

He ended up making two mugs of hot chocolate, but he didn't stop there. He started grinding a couple of spices in there and finishing it with a mountain of cream, before picking up an unopened bag of marshmallows, some cookies, and a lighter.

"Why the lighter?" I murmured.

"Ever had smores, Kogane?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM STILL SICK but im doing ok i think :")


	57. Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance drags Keith somewhere important.

We took the masks off and that was already far more painful than I anticipated. Lance took a blanket from the drier in his laundry room and grabbed my hand to lead me outside. I had no idea where he was taking me, but, he'd been living here for years so I trusted him. He carefully unlocked the door and closed it behind him without making a sound. The way he did it so carefully made me think that he'd done this multiple times before and got caught at least once. I had to balance the mugs in once hand and grab the blanket in the other.

"I'm taking you to my favourite place," he muttered, clutching his food items while I held the blanket. It was still warm and soft as ever. The purple fabric smelled like daisies and as much as I wanted to hold it to my nose to relish it, Lance was tugging me by my wrist over roads and small patches of grass, until we made it to a small palm-tree border. They didn't look real, but I still adored them. They were probably grown as genetically-modified seeds to thrive in District Four only, to emphasise the tropical landscape.

I could hear crickets. The sky was clear and it wasn't that cold outside at all. We kept going until we made it, barefoot, all the way to the golden sand. Bearing in mind that I'd never touched sand, it took me a couple of seconds to get used to the small sink that jolted me out of surprise.

"You okay?" Lance whispered. "We're almost there."

The fact that he wanted to share his favourite spot with me was so heartwarming. I had a certain spot back at home, too, and perhaps I could show him one late night if I could sneak out. As I felt the warm sand between my toes, and Lance's eager pull on my wrist, we got closer to a small man-made fire pit in a clearing. It was a small portion of the shore, hidden away from everything else. The waves ebbed and flowed against the sand, kissing the shore, before bashfully retreating into the grey-blue abyss.

"I come here to watch the sunset," he muttered, and we sat down around the fire pit, placing the mugs on the edge. I looked beyond the horizon at the gentle sea, gazing at it in awe. I'd never been anywhere near the ocean, apart from that artificial one during the Games. The moon was full and big, shining silver ribbons on the ocean's surface. "Or when it gets too much at home."

I kept staring at the gorgeous sea. No wonder Lance liked it here. The water reminded me of his cobalt eyes and the blue he fitted so perfectly. Something clicked behind me and Lance set the fire pit alight, warming us with an orange glow. I tried to forget everything about home and just focus on him. Since when had we been _truly_ alone? Without interruptions? We'd barely known each other and death had occurred more than once. I only knew his physical strengths and weaknesses. And his favourite colour, of course - but that was about it.

Before that, however, Lance pulled out the bag of marshmallows and held them over the fire. There were already a few metal skewers left from his last time here, so he wiped them clean and use them instead. I didn't want to get him injured.

"I've always wanted to share this place with someone," he grinned, passing me a concoction of marshmallow and cookie. "And I'm just glad it's you. Try this."

I really wanted to come here again. In fact, knowing this was Lance's happy place, I didn't want to leave at all. I took the food out of his hands and bit into it, already trying to get all the gooey, sugary sweetness into my mouth.

"I like it," I licked my lips and he took a bite. "Hey! Make your own!"

He grabbed the blanket and shuffled to my side to wrap it around my shoulders. I leaned into his side, letting him finish the rest of the smore as he pulled me closer, his arm around me, his hand cupping my waist. For once I didn't feel so on-edge. With the sounds of the waves crashing and the crickets chirping behind us, I finally felt relaxed. I just had to relish this moment as much as possible. Lance squeezed me closer and I flinched.

"I'm sorry," he removed his arm. "Was I going too fast -?"

"No," I shook my head, bringing his arm back. "It's nice. I'm not use to feeling so at-ease."

"So I can do whatever?"

I nodded, and Lance dragged my legs over his lap, cradling me bridal-style. I reached over and grabbed my mug while he did the same, and I took a long sip, already catching the taste of honey, cinnamon, and chocolate all at the same time. With a blissful sigh, I rested my head against his chest, hearing his happy, pounding heart.

"Ever played twenty questions?" he muttered, wiping the cream moustache upon his upper lip. He placed the mug by the fire and I did the same, returning to my space next to him, my head resting on his shoulder. We both sat opposite the waves, watching the gentle sea. I shook my head in reply. "Heh, me neither."

"Did you want to?" I lifted my head. Lance shrugged with an idle half-smile. "You first."

"Okay," he replied, twiddling his fingers. "What age did you have your first kiss?"

"Nineteen, Lance," I laughed. "What about you?"

"Same here."

I looked at him. "No way, surely you must've had someone in the past."

Lance shook his head, grinning a little bit. "I wasn't allowed a partner until I turned seventeen, which gave me a chance to think about who I liked, I guess."

I could understand that. Lance was such a flirt during the Games and not just to women, either. I was astounded that he liked me back.

"Can I ask you dirty questions?" I grinned. Lance nodded. "Okay, do you own any toys? Because you're an Omega and all? What's in that box under your bed?"

Lance laughed. "You're really trying, aren't you?"

Messing with him was my speciality.

"Hm," he tapped his fingers against his leg. "Birth control, heat suppressants, scent blockers, lubricant, and a vibrator."

I laughed. "I thought so! No wonder you kicked it under the bed! How do your parents _not_ know?"

"I have my ways," Lance winked. "Since you got the dirt out of me, Keith, do you touch yourself?"

"Yeah?" I replied. "I mean, probably not as much as you do, because Alphas, Alphas don't have a lot of s-stamina."

"Aw, you're blushing," Lance cooed, tapping my cheek. I stuck my tongue out at him. He asked. "You have enough stamina for me. What are your turn ons?"

I'd only ever been introduced to turn ons ever since I met Lance. And I had an endless list of them.

"Dirty talk," I muttered. "And when you whisper. And when you grab my thigh in public places. Or when you bite my lip when you kiss me -"

"I feel honoured," Lance grinned. "I like seeing you without a shirt. Or when you give me that pissed off glare, fuck, Keith, you're so hot when you're angry."

I couldn't prevent my cheeks from flushing at that. I had no idea that I had an effect on him, if at all. He kept going.

"I love it when you bite me, or make marks on my skin," he whispered. "You're such a good kisser."

At that point, I'd pulled his shirt collar down and caught his lips in a breathy kiss. We had all the time in the world in that very moment and when we finally got a place together, we could do whatever we wanted. I still got those euphoric little butterflies in my stomach as he cupped my cheek and kissed me back. He gave me a little nip on my bottom lip and tugged until I grinned like a loved-up idiot.

"Truth or dare?" he whispered. I smirked.

"Oh, God," I laughed. "Truth."

"Would you participate with me in my dare?"

"What's the dare?" I asked.

"Skinny dip with me."

I gave Lance a devilish look. It was so exhilarating and felt like the time we'd stolen the horses to head back to the Tribute quarters with. I was all up for risk taking, especially in public.

"Okay."

As Lance kicked off his pajamas and tossed his shirt, his skin gleaming under the pale moonlight, I watched as he managed to get waist-deep into the cold water before acknowledging that it was freezing. He folded his arms, not wanting the temperature to beat him. His resilience was astounding. His grin told all.

"Come on! Water's fine."

"Water's cold."

Getting naked was the easy part. Managing to get as deep as Lance was the hard part. I kept going, reaching for his outstretched hand before I practically fell into him, both of us laughing against one another. The water was cold, but Lance was warm, and we both wrapped our arms around one another, our teeth chattering, giggling at one another.

"What made you think this was a good idea?" I shivered, burying my face into his chest. "It's so cold, Lance!"

"Stop being a baby, I swim in this every day," he chortled, kissing my forehead. "The stars are pretty."

I looked up at the midnight sky, at the same time trying to claim Lance's warmth as my own. I let him roam his hands over my back and shoulders, feeling every little scar and bruise that made its place on my skin. He was so gentle and I couldn't thank him enough for that. With a little squeeze, I nestled my nose into his neck, feeling his heart race a little faster.

"I-I -" he began. "I... I love you, Keith."

I stilled for a second, trying to process what he'd said. My stiffness set Lance on edge and he gently moved me away, as if I'd rejected him somehow. I immediately brought him closer, gazing at his nervous eyes.

"I love you too, Lance," I replied. My heart started hammering in my chest after that. Lance looked at me with the softest smile, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

"I've been waiting to say that," he laughed quietly. "I'd always thought you'd reject me or something stupid."

I chuckled. "You think too much."

"Maybe you're right, Kogane."

We made it all the way home after that, dumping our finished food in the trash and heading upstairs in damp pajamas. I still felt fuzzy inside from being on the beach and feeling both the cold water and the warm sand. I felt kind of honoured for Lance to show me his private space. After he'd arranged his bed with a yawn, he went to check on his awake little sister, her pink nightlight glowing inside her room. I didn't even know what time it was. I didn't care.

"Hey," he whispered. "Why are you awake?"

"You went outside," she replied. I crept inside and crouched at the side of her bed, feeling tired as ever. "You were noisy."

"I went to take out the trash," Lance whispered, tapping her little nose. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay." Lola whispered, hugging her little bear. "Night-night."

We both stood up and went to walk out the door, with Lance giving her a tiny wave before he approached his room.

"Keef?"

I turned around and went back inside her room, kneeling down beside her bed. Even her tired little smile warmed my heart.

"Yeah?" I whispered. "What is it?"

"Are you going to marry Lance?"

Her question was enough to make me bewildered and happy at the same time. She looked up at me with the shiniest, most innocent little eyes, her fingers playing with the hair draping over my face.

"Oh," I laughed quietly. "I don't know, Lola, maybe."

"When you do can I be a princess?"

"A princess?" I whispered. "You mean a bridesmaid? Sure, why not."

Lola beamed. "Do you love Lance lots?"

I nodded. "I do, but it's time for you to go to bed, okay?"

"Okay." Lola whispered, leaving my hair alone. "Night-night, Keef."

I didn't even have the heart to correct her.

When I walked out of her room, Lance was waiting for me outside his own door with a tired grin on his face. Once I'd followed him in, he closed the door and turned off the lights, letting the room fill with all kinds of colour from the lanterns. He led me to his bed, threw the covers to the side to get under them, and pulled me into his arms to get cosy.

"What were you two discussing in there?" he whispered, running his fingers through my hair.

"She wants to be a princess at our wedding if we get married," I replied. Lance giggled.

"Bless her," he whispered. "We'll get a high-class Altean wedding because we're Victors."

"You're still young," I let him caress my cheek.

"I'm not too young to dream."

"Good point," I yawned. Lance tugged me closer, our legs tangling together underneath the sheets. He then reached over to grab his Polaroid.

"Will you let me take a photo?" he whispered. I nodded. Why would I disagree?

I smiled along with him, pressing my cheek against his as he took the picture, removed the film and shook it between his fingers. He grinned when he saw the final image.

"What a rarity," he laughed, pinning the photo to the wall. "You're smiling."

"I didn't want to ruin it," I whispered. "Could I have a copy?"

One more photo and I slid it into the pocket of my jeans on the floor so I didn't forget it. I was still shivering from being in cold water despite all the sheets Lance had wrapped me up in. He reached for his jacket and let me wear it, pulling the hood over my head and placing a small kiss on my nose. It smelled just like him.

I'd started to like this whole affection thing. Lance still smelled like the cologne he put on that morning.

This was our last full night together and I was glad I'd spent it that way. With his eyes sleepily gazing into mine and the warm feeling of his hands on my cheeks, I leaned in carefully to plant a soft kiss on his lips. I felt him smile just as he usually did. I trailed my hand up his leg and past the shorts he was wearing, feeling the velvet-soft stretch marks on his thighs.

"Don't cover these up," I whispered. "I think they're beautiful."

Lance thumbed my bottom lip. "I'll try not to, freckles."

I rolled my eyes, nestling my face in his neck. "They're not even my fault."

"They're fine," he laughed. "Goodnight, Keith."

"Night," I mumbled, secretly loving his fingers trailing through my hair as I drifted off in his arms. It felt like I was home already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost 10,000 hits and I am so grateful omg ♡


	58. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to say goodbye.

Lance wasn't there when I woke up the next morning, and I panicked for a short while before realising that I was in his bed, wearing his jacket, with his stereo on low volume, knowing he couldn't have gone far. I nestled back into his warm sheets, wishing I could stay there for as long as I wanted to. I had to go home today and I still wasn't ready. I was on such a high, I'd reached cloud nine for the first time and I'd changed so much over the past months I didn't think I'd ever be the same person again.

I zipped up Lance's jacket and pulled the sleeves over my bruised knuckles, holding the fabric to my nose to catch the scent. The lanterns were still happily flickering, colour to colour, strewn over his bed and walls. It wasn't fair that I had to go home. I wanted to go back to the Capitol, to live in a more stable environment. I couldn't stand the smell of charred wood any more.

Lance came in, clutching a tray of pancakes and two steaming mugs, a soft smile stretching his lips. He placed the tray on the bed and turned up the music on the stereo, joining me on the bed in silence. Then, he sat beside me, intertwining his fingers with mine, and nothing more.

"The car's outside," he whispered. "I said you'll be an hour."

"Okay." I sat up, pulling the hood of his jacket over my head. 

The pancakes were gorgeous, as usual. His family really could cook and I bet Lance knew a thing or two from his mother. The beverage in the mugs was chamomile tea, and as much as I wanted to finish his well-prepared breakfast, I was feeling sick with nerves. He understood and began passing me the clothes I'd dumped on the floor. Lance had to come back with me. There was no way I'd go back on my own.

Once he'd thrown my hair up into the same old braid, tightening it in a ponytail, he pulled me closer and secured his arms around me, coddling me while I quivered with nerves. I enjoyed having quiet moments. I'd been taking them for granted ever since and now, with the music playing in the corner, suiting our sleepy mood, I relished it a lot more. Lance still donned a bedhead despite brushing his hair. I nestled my nose into my favourite place, beneath his ear, taking in the scent of his rich cologne.

"You can keep these," I muttered, slipping off my leather gloves. "I have another blue pair."

"Aren't these the ones with the flames?" he took them and slid them onto his hands, flinching at the sudden burst of excited embers when he let the hem go with a snap against his skin. "Do you want to keep something of mine?"

I nodded. "Can I keep the jacket?"

"Why not?"

I gently folded the jacket and placed it in my lap, watching him play with my gloves, enjoying all the little flames that twirled around his wrists. I could tell they'd been through the Games - there were creases and evidence of wear. The Velcro keeping them together still stuck, and Lance was enjoying them far more than I'd have done. After I'd gathered my belongings, I melted into Lance's arms again, wishing time would go a little slower. Ten minutes.

"I hope we stay in touch," he whispered. "Let's just hope we can both live in the Capitol. And that we get those little handhelds like Matt and Shiro have."

"Mm," I nodded, planting a kiss on his sharp jawline. "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too." Lance tucked a stray hair behind my ear, just like he always does. I was going to miss little gestures like that. "Are you ready to go?"

"No," I breathed, cupping his cheeks. "But it's time I should be."

I leaned in and kissed him with as much love I could possibly pour into. We'd both been through life and death situations and Lance was chosen on his first Reaping. He was lucky to be alive. We both were, and the amount of happiness and luck that I felt for him was unaccountable. Leaving the empty tray behind, Lance and I walked downstairs, greeting his family who were waiting to see me off.

His mother said goodbye with open arms, squeezing me so much I thought I was going to suffocate. My hair was ruffled again and again, and those who didn't want contact merely waved. I was just about to step out of the door when little Lola approached me, her arms outstretched, wearing the widest smile she could spread across her tiny face.

"Keef!" she made grabbing motions with her hands and I picked her up, giving her a little hug. "Are you going now?"

"Keef's gotta go home," I nodded. "I'll be back soon, though, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded, tapping my nose to say goodbye. "Bye-bye Keef!"

With a final wave, Lance and I headed out of the door and began walking up to the white car waiting for us at the front of his house. I opened the door and sat down, pulling Lance in after me, before I put his jacket on and threw the hood over my head.

"Lola and you must be best friends," Lance chuckled. "She's going to miss you, I know that for sure."

"Tell your family that I say thanks," I reached over to hold his hand as we left District Four, heading straight down the long road towards Twelve. I could see the wide stretch of forest in the distance, as well as the coal fires, and the muted orange glow of the mine. "They've been really nice."

"Already have," he replied. "My mother approves of you, which is astounding."

"She does?" I laughed. "That's good."

The journey back home was long and boring. We sped past District Five, watching the Holt power plant glow with life. The closer we got to home, the more nervous I got. Lance fell asleep against the window, the grip on my hand never loosening. I was afraid of what he was going to think of me. Of my home. Of my lonely family that just consisted of my father and myself. He looked so tranquil when he slept, his dark eyelashes fluttering, his skin soft and warm.

I didn't want the journey to end. I'd experienced so much and had way more fun than I was ever going to have. Knowing that my father might not want to leave our home in Twelve unsettled me. I wanted to go. I didn't want to stay there much longer. The further away we got from Four, the more homesick I felt from Lance. Twelve didn't even feel like home any more. It was associated with so many bad memories that I felt sick coming home after a long day from just being in the woods. 

It was going to be hard for a very long time. I had the prize, I had the money, but it wasn't going to go anywhere if we were staying in Twelve. We could finally afford everything we'd ever wanted but, I couldn't share it with anyone. Lance was going to end up living in the Capitol without me, having fun with the Holt family and Shiro, while I remained in Twelve, still breathing in fumes from the fire and entering illegal forest areas.

Finally, we entered Twelve, and my heart leaped into my throat, hammering so hard against my flushing skin that I almost forgot how to breathe. The sudden panic made me squeeze Lance's hand involuntarily, and he woke up, looking over at me with concern upon his tired face. I shrugged apologetically, letting his hand to so he could stretch. Eventually, we drove past the stretch of trees on the left, surrounded by a metal, electric fence. Everyone was looking up from their chores just to welcome my return, waving with small smiles. I kept looking an eye out for home.

"I think it's pretty," Lance muttered. "You have so many trees. It's so green here."

"You don't have to lie," I murmured, reaching over to hold his hand again. 

Soon enough, the car halted outside my house, the same, run-down fence I'd always come home to, as well as the wooden frame keeping the house together. Even though brick featured in some places I didn't think the house was going to last for long. Hesitantly, I stepped out of the car, immediately taking in the scent of the forest and its greenery, suddenly missing the smell of the ocean near Lance's house.

"It really is beautiful." Lance gasped, gazing in pure awe at the forest before him, the squirrels running from tree to tree, and even a deer decided to come into view, watching Lance timidly. "I'd love to live here."

"So would I, if I had a family like yours," I sighed, walking up the stone path, knocking shakily on my father's door. He opened it slowly, before realising who I was, and pulling me into an unexpected hug. "Hey-  _whoa."_

My father clutched me close as I tried to comprehend what was going on. He was hugging me, for once, and although it felt a little strange, I liked it. I was home again. I kept my face buried in his broad shoulder, my fingers curling in his shirt, feeling Lance's presence behind me. All I could hear was the chirping of the birds high up in the trees and my father's relieved, slow breaths.

I lifted my head to greet him, but my eyes fell on something I hadn't seen in a long, long time.

"Mom?" I breathed, rushing over to hug the person I'd thought  _died_ in front of me, back when I was sixteen, in the middle of a forest surrounded by furious flames. It was her, alive and well, with the same dark-brown hair thrown into a ponytail. It was streaked silver, a white-silver, that reminded me of the state of Lance's hair when he was resting in a healing pod.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't understand. All I could do was weep into her shoulder and let my father embrace the both of us. I was their only son, and despite me not believing it was truly my mother, I wanted to relish the feeling of finally being back home. I saw Lance smile out of the corner of my eye. My mother's grip became tighter the longer I held her.

"H-How -?" I hiccuped. "I thought you were gone! I was there!"

"It's beyond what I thought, but," my father smiled. "Apparently healing pods are available for a high fee."

"You're so grown up," my mother cupped my cheeks and caressed them with her quivering thumbs. Apart from the dissipating scarring on her pale skin, she looked well, and I was more than happy to see her. I guess healing pods really weren't something to take for granted. She wiped away my tears and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I'm so glad you're alive!"

She looked ethereal. She'd obviously been healing for quite a long time because her hair was streaked heavily, and the injuries she'd gotten over the years still scarred prominently. My heart couldn't stop pounding. I thought she was gone. I'd never thought I'd be able to see her again. As she wiped the tears from her cheeks, she looked up at Lance, a grateful smile spreading across her cheeks.

"Who's that?" she asked, leaning into her husband's embrace. Lance approached meekly, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"This is Lance," I swallowed. "He's from Four."

I didn't know how long my mother was out for, or whether she even watched the Games in the first place. Lance walked over and shook my parent's hands, before we all went inside, escaping the slight bitter cold of the outside. I was still ecstatic. My mom was alive.

There was a fire flickering beneath the television, something cooking in the kitchen, and a plate of cookies on the table. The house didn't look like such a mess and it was as if my mother motivated my father to do all of this. I didn't want to know how much he'd offered to keep my mother alive, but I couldn't be more grateful. The house had never looked like this, and it smelled like my mother's favourite candles. Lance was embraced by my parents before they both sat down.

"I'm proud of you," my father beckoned me closer. I sat down on the rug in front of the fire and Lance did the same. "I knew you could do it. Your mother was in a state of shock immediately after being healed, and we both watched it together, from the moment you were all reunited. Four of you, I think."

I nodded. "Pidge- Katie and Matt Holt were from Five and they made an alliance with us. And then we all became best friends."

"Your son is good at saving lives," Lance laughed. "Especially mine. We couldn't have done it without him."

"I don't think I've ever doubted you," my mother smiled, leaning down to hold my hand. She looked up at Lance. "Thank you for taking care of Keith."

"He took more care looking after me," Lance replied. "I'm really lucky. We all were."

"Are you staying, or do you have to return home?" my father asked. Lance shrugged.

"I need to get back before sundown."

After that, I took Lance upstairs and into my little room, with everything that I enjoyed pinned up on the walls. I'd forgotten how many family photographs were on the walls of our house, but Lance didn't seem to mind. He sat down on my bed, beaming at me.

"Your mom's alive?" he smiled. "That must feel so exhilarating."

I nodded, staring at my leather jacket hung up on the door, and the pair of boots beneath them. "I'm really happy. I hope my place doesn't disappoint you."

"I like it," he placed his hand on top of my resting one. "It's nice and quiet. Can we explore the woods?"

"Do you want to do something illegal?"

Lance grinned. "Hell yeah."

I grabbed my jacket from the door and pulled on my boots, shaking out the dried leaves in the soles. Lance whistled, a flirtatious little smile widening his lips.

"Freckles, leather, and a ponytail," he folded his arms. "If it weren't for your parents being home I'd have you up against the wall."

"Lance," I groaned, grabbing his wrist and rushing downstairs, chuckling a little bit. I couldn't wait until we finally had a place to stay together. My little home was getting cramped, even with Lance there. I eventually reached my living room and saw my father embracing his wife, which warmed my heart. "We're going out."

"Be back soon, sweetheart," my mother called. 

"I..." I stopped in my tracks. I hadn't heard that for a while. "I will."

After we made it outside, we both ran all the way down to the fence that hummed with electricity, before I found the little fault I took advantage of, and pulled Lance through without harm. His mischievous little grin was enough to motivate me, and we kept going, hand-in-hand, before I reached a tree I'd always climb. It had the most spectacular view from the top, and once I'd helped up Lance, he was enjoying it with me, too.

"Is that Alfor's castle?" he pointed to the large, white structure in the distance. "Opposite is Zarkon's palace."

"Over there is the Holt power plant," I pointed to a grey-green looking building, and Lance smiled. "Over that is the ocean."

"Is this really what you do every day?" he averted his gaze back to me, his hair waving gently in the breeze. "I'd prefer this over swimming."

"It's very illegal," I laughed. "I think I might be shot if I was ever caught."

"Have you been caught? Or seen?" Lance asked. I shrugged.

"If I have, I didn't see them."

We both remained up there, enjoying the fresh air and the pleasant sounds of the forest below. There was a river flowing underneath the tree we sat in, trickling effortlessly underground, beneath a natural mud bridge. I didn't need to run all the way out here to get game to sell any more, but I enjoyed coming out to set my mind at ease.

It wasn't until Lance leaned in and kissed me that I'd realised where we were. "You like kissing boys in illegal places?" I muttered, brushing my lips against his chin. Lance nodded.

"I like riding illegal horses in illegal places, while kissing boys."

I grinned. "Me too."

I tried to remember the hue of his eyes, and the softness of his smile. The warmth of his hands clasping mine was still heartwarming to me. I still got butterflies when he was affectionate, and I didn't think I was ever going to get used to it. I didn't want to. I just wanted to keep falling in love with him, again and again, until I was smothered in as much love I could handle. I smoothed my fingers through his brown-silver hair, trailing my hand to his shoulder. He kept a trusting look in his eyes. Lance always felt like home to me.

By the time we returned home, the sun had begun to set, and Lance was preparing to leave. I made sure my gloves were on his hands and he was all set, before my parents came to the door to see him off. I didn't want him to go. We'd been on so many adventures together and I wished so badly that I could be nearer to him, instead of living in opposite sides of the country.

We both stood at the end of the path, feeling the cold breeze bite at our noses. The hum of the car was almost drowned out by the noise of the birds in the forest. 

"So," he scratched the back of his neck. "I guess this is goodbye."

I felt myself crying all over again. As much as I didn't want it to be, I had to let him go home. He had a loving family that he needed to catch up on, and I needed to spend time with my mother, who was watching me from the front door. I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around Lance tightly, hiding the tears as they flooded my cheeks, soaking into his shirt.

"Hey, don't cry," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Don't cry, don't."

"Thank you," I swallowed. "For everything. I mean it."

"You're going to make me cry," Lance smiled pitifully, wiping the tears from my cheeks. His eyes were glistening with tears. "I should be thanking you."

I wanted to kiss him one more time, but I didn't know how my parents were going to feel. I took a deep breath and secretly pecked his cheek, feeling his heart race for the last time against my chest. "I'll see you soon, maybe," I muttered, smiling up at him.

Lance nodded. "I love you," he mouthed. I uttered the reply and watched his cheeks flush.

After hesitating, he finally got in the car, slammed the door shut, and waved as the vehicle sped down the road. I took a deep breath, knowing that it was going to be a while before I ever saw him again. I wiped my wet cheeks and secured my jacket around my shivering body until I couldn't hear the car any more. I turned around to see my parents, with their arms outstretched, looking more than delighted to finally see me home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets all sob together


	59. Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The little device comes in the mail. They're all abusing its power.

I retreated back to my bedroom after seeing Lance go home, swapping my leather jacket for his baby-blue one, assuming the foetal position on my bed and zipping it all the way up. I curled the sleeves over my knuckles like I always did and bundled myself up in his scent, hiding in the hood. It was slightly big, which made it even warmer to wear. The sun set outside my window, and I'd began to think about everything I'd been through, and how lonely I felt now that all my friends had gone home. We were a team. We'd managed to form a bond nobody else could ever do. We each had different qualities that led us to keeping each other alive, despite the healing pod situation. I kept thinking about the time where the storm was overhead, and Lance was being dragged away -

I shivered, taking a deep inhale of his jacket. He was alive. He was okay.

I wanted to live at the Victor's Quarter's so badly. We had enough money to do whatever we wanted and yet we were still living in this run-down excuse of a house. I was still so elated that my mother was here, and even my father looked happy to see me, but I knew, in the back of my mind, they wanted what was best for me. They didn't know _what_ that was exactly, because I barely talked to my parents about my personal problems, they just wanted to make me happy. And it worked. Most of the time.

"Hey," my mother walked in, and just hearing her voice again made my heart sing. She sat down on the bed next to me, placing her hand on my arm. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest. She wrapped an arm around me, letting me lean into her side. "Just a lot going on at once."

"I know," she smiled. "Will you be comfortable talking about anything? Anything at all, sweetheart?"

"I don't want to live here anymore." I muttered, staring at the floor. "I want to live in the Victor's Quarter's. In the Capitol. With Lance and everyone else."

"I know we have the money now, but I don't know if your father wants to leave," she caressed the braid in my hair. "Who did your hair?"

"Lance," I mumbled. Just saying his name hurt me a little bit. "Can't you convince him?"

"I can try," she sighed. "But if needs be, I'll let you catch the train all the way up to the Capitol, and you can live there, no questions asked."

My father wasn't a pushover. I probably got my stubbornness from him which made it even worse. I couldn't stand living in Twelve any more. I wanted the plush beds and the pretty houses that had floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. I wanted to stand on a balcony again. Ride horses. Not run out every morning at around four o'clock just to get game to sell for later. I didn't even have to do that any more, so what was the point in staying?

"Is Lance your mate?" she asked. "Or your partner? I'm sorry, it's a stupid question."

I inhaled deeply, nodding. "Yeah, don't use the word mate, it doesn't sit right."

My mother rubbed my arm briskly. "I knew you'd grow up to be gorgeous. No wonder you've got everyone flocking to you so much, and I know how stubborn you are."

"I guess so," I tapped my foot against the floor. "Is it okay if, if I'm with Lance? At all?"

"Do you love him?" she tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. I nodded bashfully. I'd never admitted anything like this to my parents. "Have you bonded with him?"

I shook my head. "Not the right time for either of us."

"Then it's okay," she chuckled. "It doesn't matter whether you've bonded or not, just remember the feelings you have for him. He seems like an outgoing person, you two are very much alike, I won't be surprised if you both end up living together."

"That's the plan," I bit my lip. "Would that be okay?"

"Keith, honey," she pressed her lips against my forehead. "I can't control what you do or don't do. You're an adult now, you've fought people to the death. Do you really think I'd restrict you from seeing Lance? Give you a curfew like I did when you were thirteen?"

I laughed. "I was exploring!"

"Keep exploring, my star," she caressed my cheek. "You'll go places."

Before she left, she tossed a small package on my bed. It was a small, white box, with my name and address, and the Altean symbol plastered around the package tape.

"This came for you," she said. After she ruffled the hair in front of my face, she got up to leave, but I had an important question.

"Mom, what's the date?"

She leaned against my doorframe, folding her arms. We all did that stance. It was a weird family thing. "November twenty-second."

"November," I breathed. "Okay. Thanks."

I felt a little better knowing that my mother was supportive of me going to live in the Capitol. It was just my father that needed a little convincing, and I really hoped that he'd give in. There was nothing left in the house to appreciate, apart from family photos. The place was falling apart. Our whole lives needed to be renewed.

I grabbed the knife on my nightstand and used it to slice away the tape, prying open the box to reveal a little gadget inside. I knew what it was immediately and grabbed it with so much care, I didn't even want to take it out of the bubble wrap. It was the same handheld that Matt and Shiro had, but I was sure it needed some kind of service in order to use it. Carefully, I removed the protective wrap and placed it in the box. It consisted of an almost paper-thin screen, held together by a small border of metal around the edge, with buttons on the side. It felt cold in my hands.

As soon as I turned it on, the glass turned into an interactive, bright screen, and all I had to do was get it set up. Language was easy. Name input. District. I felt the engraved Altean mark on the back of it. Once it'd finished, I had a little look-around, before it hummed in my hand.

The names appearing on the screen almost had me grinning.

| **The Winners of the Thirty-Second Hunger Games** |

_November 20th, 8:56pm_

**_Pidge:_ ** _that's a weak name, Shiro, what kind of group chats do you have,_ _honestly_

 _ **Matt**_ : _katie all of your group chat names are code variables you cant remember :p_

 _**Pidge:** _ _matt you may be six foot but i swear im five foot six inches of pure whoopass_

 _**Shiro:** _ _I'm sure five foot and six inches must be terrifying._

 _**Pidge:** _ _you bet it fuckin is_

_November 22nd, 6:45pm_

_**Lance** _ _has joined the conversation._

 _**Lance:** _ _SIBLING FIGHT_

 _**Lance:** _ _has keith got his handheld thingy yet??_

 _**Matt:** _ _look who it is_

 _**Pidge:** _ _its LANCE welcome back buddy_

 _**Lance:** _ _heyyyy_

 _**Pidge:** _ _heyyyyyy_

 _**Lance:** _ _heyyyyyyyy_

I was trying not to laugh at the same time. We were going to abuse this so bad.

 **_Keith_ ** _has joined the conversation._

 _**Keith:** _ _heyyyyyyyyyyy_

 _**Pidge:** _ _HEYYYYYYYYYYY_

 _**Lance:** _ _heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;)_

 _**Matt:** _ _will you guys SHUT UP_

 _**Matt:** _ _also, keith, lance, private conversations are private for a reason_

 **_Keith:_ ** _matt, shiro, doors have handles and locks for a reason_

 _**Pidge:** _ _oh my GOD YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING BURN HIM SO BRUTALLY_

 _**Matt:** _ _kATIE HOLT STOP LAUGHING I CAN HEAR YOU_

 _**Pidge:** _ _I CANT FUCKING BREATHE_

I could tell this was already going to be chaos. I was still laughing to myself when I was called down for dinner, leaving the little gadget behind. We finally had a full meal for once, and my mother was at the table for the first time since I was sixteen. We ate in a comforting silence, exchanging quiet conversation like we always did, I could tell the difference between my mother's cooking and my father's. This time, it was my mother's, and I ate every last bit, not caring about my full stomach.

"Dad, can we live in the Capitol?" I muttered, twirling my index finger around the ridge of my glass. My father finished his plate and shrugged.

"Maybe," he replied. "Do you have a good reason?"

"Yes?" I furrowed my brow, watching my mother shoot me a look of warning. "Do you seriously want to live in this _shack_ until you die? I have friends! I have Lance! I don't need to be here any more."

"It'll be good for all of us," my mother reached across to hold my hand. "We'll finally be able to move in somewhere a little more stable."

I looked at my dad with pleading eyes. "I'll move there myself if I have to."

"I'll think about it," he huffed. "I guess I can't really stop you."

My mother squeezed my fingers. "Go back upstairs, I'll try to reason with him, darling."

I took their empty plates and put them on the counter before heading upstairs to find the gadget on my nightstand. It was buzzing like crazy but as soon as I picked it up, it stopped. Lance's name was appearing over and over. I wasn't going to get any sleep at this point.

Luckily, this was a whole new conversation.

 **_Lance:_ ** _how is getting permission for the capitol???_

 _**Lance:** _ _im planning to move there in the next couple of weeks_

I sighed. I didn't want him to leave without me.

 **_Keith:_ ** _im trying to persuade my dad but its not looking good, i could just run away_

 _**Lance:** _ _i wouldnt go that far, youre good at negotiating_

 _**Lance:** _ _how are things anyway? its quiet without you._

 _**Keith:** _ _cold, i guess? ill have to sleep alone_

 _**Lance:** _ _my sheets still have your scent imprinted on it so i'm pretty happy about that_

 _**Keith:** _ _then in that case ill wear your jacket to bed_

 _**Lance:** _ _i prefer you wearing nothing to bed_

I was in the midst of getting changed and in the end, i grabbed his jacket and pulled it over my bare skin, crawling into bed with his scent pressed against my nose. What a delightful idea. It was so comfortable, too, but not as cosy as the beds back at the Capitol. Or Lance's bed. That was too comfortable to be real.

 **_Keith:_ ** _thanks for your advice, im_ _just_ _wearing your jacket,_ _it's_ _comfy_

 **_Lance:_ ** _that's_ _something to think about._

I couldn't entertain myself with anything else at all. I just led there staring at my ceiling, a little bored, a little tired. I could torture Lance by not letting him see my attire, and that would be fun. But he'd get restless and needy and I'd miss him even more.

 **_Keith:_ ** _what's_ _on your mind?_

 **_Lance_** ** _:_ ** _you, mostly_

We were Districts away from each other and that really wasn't fair. At least, with this little gadget, I felt slightly closer to him, as well as everyone else.

 **_Keith:_ ** _mostly?_

 **_Lance:_ ** _yeah,_ _and_ _that time back at the hot spring_

 **_Lance:_ ** _sometimes I_ _miss the arena just_ _because_ _that was_ _there_

 **_Lance:_ ** _and_ _the_ _look you_ _gave_ _me_

 **_Lance:_ ** _fuck, i miss you, baby_

 _**Keith**_ _ **:** _ _i miss you too_

I had to place the device on my nightstand as my mother leaned against the doorframe to wish me a goodnight. Lance's words were still reeling through my head and I could wait to reply. I just needed a couple of minutes.

"He's going to think about it," she yawned. "Are you heading to bed?"

"Yeah," I nodded, pulling the covers up to my nose. "Can't I just go there myself?"

"I don't know, Keith," she sighed. "We'll find a way. Goodnight, sweetheart."

I hadn't heard her say that in ages.

"Night, mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thank you all so much for helping me reach 10,000 hits (and almost 600 kudos)!! in honor of this I will choose **two bonus chapters** instead of one, so feel free to vote for whatever!
> 
> if you have a different idea, feel free to comment that too!
> 
> a) **keith/lance** in phone sex  
>  b) the **actor au blooper reel** featuring everyone (feel free to choose which scenario, or make up your own!)  
>  c) **matt/shiro** nsfw in the control room (or anywhere else if you prefer; send me kinks you'd like to read!)  
>  d) **matt/shiro** fluff (this could literally be anything, send me your ideas!)  
>  e) **free for all!** send me anything you really want to read, or if you have a specific headcanon!
> 
> thank you all so so much! ♡♡♡


	60. [BONUS] Beg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's past midnight and Lance is restless.

I had been talking to Lance for hours before realising it was  _way_ past midnight, but I didn't think neither of us cared. My house was completely silent, apart from the chirping crickets outside, and the occasional owl. I couldn't sleep. I was far too invested in our conversation to put the device down and quite frankly, I didn't want to. My mind was fuzzy through almost overdosing on Lance's scent embedded sweetly into his jacket. I couldn't get enough of it; I was beginning to feel withdrawal from him and he only went home today. I'd been around him for so long that it felt odd not to have him near me. I shimmied further down into my covers, finally enjoying the feeling of bare skin against my sheets. It almost felt like I was in bed with Lance again.

_**Lance:** i'm still wearing your gloves, they smell of leather and you_

**_Keith:_ ** _you're still awake?_

 **_Lance:_ ** _can't sleep_

I couldn't either. I was already restless from thinking about him and I missed his voice. More specifically, the way he said my name, how he'd compliment me, how the words would just roll off his tongue like he was fluent in knowing exactly what to say. I'd missed his little winks now that they were directed at me, and the little touches he gave me. It was everything. Everything about him.

_**Keith:** me neither_

_**Lance:** how's my jacket holding up?_

**_Keith:_ ** _still wearing it, still sleeping in it_

_**Lance:** let me see  
_

Did this thing even have a camera?

I wanted him to, I just felt like a total idiot because I didn't feel the extra little button on the side. It was too dark to see, so I flicked on the lamp on my nightstand and allowed it to bask me in a warm glow. Eventually, when I'd slowly kicked off my sheets, preventing the frame of my bed from creaking, I unzipped the jacket and grunted in discontent as the cold air hit my chest. This was  _Lance._ He'd get turned on by any sort of visual cue - so I managed to get as much of my v-line in as possible.

_**Keith** sent a photo._

**_Keith:_ ** _this enough?_

_**Lance:** jesus, keith_

I grinned. I was totally right. Once I'd yanked the covers back over my shivering body, my mind started to wander. And without Lance, I really couldn't do anything about it. I turned off the lamp, blanketing myself in darkness once again. I wondered if I could go further without waking up the entire house. 

_**Lance:** you'll make me miss you more, if that's even possible_

**_Lance:_ ** _please call me_

That was an invitation I couldn't decline at all. I just had to keep my voice on the low. My door was closed, at least. As soon as his name flashed up on the screen I accepted it immediately and heard his desperate gasp of relief right against my ear. I could tell he was happy to hear me greet him again. I'd missed him. I'd missed his voice.

"It's almost one in the morning," I whispered. "What do you need?"

"Relief," he murmured. "Keith, just-  _God_ I want you -"

I'd never heard him beg, and hearing his voice against my ear made shivers bolt down my spine like lightning, spiking something unspeakable in my abdomen. I couldn't resist his little whimpers. I could help him, but it wasn't as if I was going to be gentle about it.

"What do you want me to do?" I whispered, thumbing the hem of his hoodie.  _Don't touch yourself. You'll make this worse._

"I don't care," he whimpered. "You're just in bed, fucking  _bare_ without me, what do you think I want?"

I grinned. I did know. And as much as I wanted to help, he still owed me after tying me up and teasing me back at the castle. It was quite a reunion, and one that I wasn't going to forget anytime soon. He sounded so desperate, and I could even hear his little whimpers of hopelessness. I wanted to tease him so hard he'd almost shatter. I loved condensing his cocky self into a whining mess.

"K-Keith, can I," he breathed. "Can I touch -?"

"Beg," I muttered. 

"What?" he panted. "B-But I already -"

"Do you want me to hang up and leave you like that?"

"No!" he stressed. "I mean- no, please stay."

His desperation was adorable.

"Beg for me, and maybe I'll let you continue," I whispered. "How bad do you want it?"

"So bad," he purred. "Let me continue."

He'd have to do better than that. I knew what he was like during sex. He was merely goo in between my fingers, his gaze oozing with as much lust he lavished in.

"I said beg," I growled. "I'm not afraid to fall asleep and leave you to your own devices."

 _"No!_ No, Keith, please," he was almost sobbing. "Please, I just- I want this so bad, I want  _you_ so bad, fuck -"

I grinned, trailing my quaking fingers to my half-hard cock, feeling it twitch in my palm. I wasn't afraid to run all the way to District Four myself just to see him whimper like a wounded puppy.

"I'll let you." I whispered. "Touch yourself for me."

"Thank you," he uttered, letting out the smallest, neediest moan. I let myself give in, pumping my length with a shaking hand, listening to his desperate whines of pleasure over the speaker. "C-Can I use the vibrator?"

"Go ahead," I murmured, holding the soft inside of his jacket up to my nose, trying to imagine his situation. He let out another small moan of my name and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. This was going to be too much. "What position-  _fuck-_ are you in?"

"Just led down," he panted. "Legs open as wide as possible. You?"

And I knew how flexible he was. I let my mind go a little wild, and the image of him wearing nothing but those gloves of mine, his hand meekly stroking his cock, almost had me reeling. I got myself together and tried to answer his question without my voice cracking too much.

"Same as you," I furrowed my brow as my voice gave away. He let out a little laugh.

"I love it when your voice does that," he inhaled sharply. "I wish you were here."

"I wish I was there too," I moaned, letting my fingers drift over the growing, sensitive swell. "I'd be doing so many unspeakable things to you."

"I don't think they're th-that unspeakable," he stammered. "What would you do to me?"

"I'll fuck you senseless, and I won't stop until you're screaming."

"Fuck," he moaned. "That really is unspeakable."

I let my hand pump a little faster, almost biting into his jacket to stifle myself. His sounds of pleasure against my ear made me twitch even more and I couldn't help but moan his name right back, until it was a competition to see who could be the loudest without getting caught. Lance was getting desperate. I knew it. We didn't speak for a while and instead relished the sounds coming from our quivering lips, muted slightly over the speaker. I closed my eyes and let myself become immersed in the scent of his jacket.

"K-Keith," he panted. "I'm so wet, I-I-  _fuck_ , I want you to fill me..."

Lance's little sobs of pleasure had my heart hammering in my chest. I palmed the tip of my cock, covering my fingers in my own sticky slick, bucking into my hand to the rhythm of his adorable whimpers. In the background, I could just about make out the slight, low hum of the vibrator, and the wet noises of the lubricant he must've smothered over his lower body.

"Hey, fuck yourself with the vibrator for me," I bit my lip, my eyelids fluttering shut. "Let me hear you whimper."

"O-Okay," he breathed. "Nnh-  _fuck,_ K-Keith..."

"You're so obedient," I moaned, listening to his stifled yells of elation. "What are you biting into?"

"Y-Your gloves," he whimpered, his voice cracking. "If that's okay."

"No, no," I snapped my hips harder into my hand. "It's perfect, use the vibrator a little faster."

"But I'll scream," he swallowed. "I-I can't -"

"You can do it," I couldn't wait to hear him scream. "Use my gloves."

His moans were soon dripping with lust and I couldn't help but imagine him with his back arched, one hand guiding the vibrator, the other pumping his cock, his mouth beside the device he was whimpering into. Occasionally, he'd hit something sensitive and I'd just  _know_ by the pitch of his voice and how hard he was biting into the glove. It sent my mind reeling and I couldn't resist jerking my hand faster, my head slamming against the pillow as I moaned his name, hoping I wasn't getting too loud. The jacket was slipping off my shoulders the more I moved, and I had to keep it up to my nose to remain within the moment, just  _trying_ to envision him next to me -

"You sound so hot," he mewled. "It's so unfair how I can't be there."

"I know, darling," I croaked, feeling the familiar pressure within my abdomen growing. Not now.  _Please._ It was too soon.  _"Lance..."_

"K-Keith -!" he whined. I bit my lip so hard it almost bled. "I'm so close, Keith."

"Me too," I panted, my thighs quivering. I needed him so badly. I was still tempted to travel there and fuck that orgasm out of him myself. "I bet you look so hot."

"I'll sh-show you when I'm-  _nnh-_ done..."

"Please," I almost begged, feeling my arm ache with how vigorous I was getting. I was now more desperate than ever to see his heaving, flushed chest, absolutely coated in a slick layer of sweat, his eyes full of ecstasy and cloudy with lust. I couldn't think about anything else but him. I didn't want to think about anything else, either.

I kept going until I thought I was going to burst. His moans and breathing became erratic through the speaker, so close and loud that I thought I could feel his breath against the shell of my ear. We had so much catching up to do once I saw him again. I wanted to do this properly. It was torture not being able to see him in front of me, completely bare, covered in little bite marks and bruises  _I'd_ made.

"K-Keith," he drawled. "I- I'm gonna come..."

"I am too," my fingers curled in the sheets, my hips bucking as fast as they could go. I never knew how much I needed this until I'd heard Lance whimper for me over the speaker. "F-Fuck, Lance -!"

"C-Can I come?" he moaned, his voice trailing into a high-pitched whine.  _"Please let me come..."_

"M-Mhm!" I whimpered, biting into a fist clenched so tightly my knuckles were going white. "Come for me, I wanna hear you m-moan for me..."

Lance sounded erratic. He kept moaning like the slut he was, whimpering in sheer pleasure as if he was  _made_ for it, until his voice broke into a muffled scream of my name, heaving, hitched pants escaping his mouth. As he finished, I bit into the fabric of his jacket, listening to his relieved whines as I released over my chest, my hips snapping involuntarily into my shaking hand, the knot swelling so much it almost hurt to touch. 

We let ourselves bask in our afterglow, panting hard into the microphone as we came down from our sticky, pleasure-induced highs. I detached my mouth from his jacket and tiredly gazed at my ceiling, feeling the cold air hit my sweating skin. Lance chuckled lazily. I was covered in my own cum and too tired to clean myself off.

"That," he panted, "was one of the best things I've ever done."

"Yeah," I yawned, shakily picking up the device and holding it to my ear. "Are you relieved enough now?"

"Mhm," he hummed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I grinned softly, slowly blinking away my tiredness. "Sleep well."

"You too, but not too soon," he whispered. "I'll show you."

The call ended and I reached for a tissue on my nightstand to mop up the mess on my torso, my chest still heaving heavily. The device buzzed in my hand once more, and I curled up lazily, watching an image appear on the screen. I bit my lip, a grin mustering upon my face as I stared at the photo of his lean, muscular body, his flushed, pink lips in view, a white mess upon his honey skin. His softening cock rested against his abdomen, as well as his gloved hand, his wrist riddled with teeth marks.

_**Lance:** let's do that again sometime_

**_Keith:_ ** _hopefully i'll be right there with you_

I just kept staring at that image. I didn't know how, but he looked completely and utterly wrecked and beautiful at the same time.

_**Lance:** i hope so_

**_Lance:_ ** _are we sleeping now?_

 **_Keith:_ ** _yeah, i can't keep my eyes open_

_**Lance:** night, thanks for the late-night orgasm_

I smirked.

_**Keith:** goodnight, you too_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was good enough :")
> 
> thank you for 10,000+ hits!


	61. [BONUS] Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acting can be delightful in many ways.

Usually acting would be a breeze but nobody could ever remember their lines.

There were different kinds of actors and actresses and they were all different.

Lance was great at handling makeup and costume. He'd never flinch and mostly do all of the makeup himself, usually talking to the stylists as they worked. He was grateful no matter what he wore and recited his lines with so much flair Hunk as almost scared of him. However, when it came to actually being in front of a camera, it took many shots to get the desired shot. As in, Lance was prone to falling over, reading someone else's lines, and sometimes appearing in shots he didn't need to be in.

Keith was the opposite. He could handle makeup to an extent and get bored afterwards. Sharing a dressing room with the rest of his group wasn't that bad, because he'd usually grin at his dramatic boyfriend reciting his lines like he was made for every single part. The fake bruises he was given was enough to make Keith believe he'd been truly hit, but he knew that wasn't the case. For now, he tapped his foot against the floor, reading through his script, feeling his hair get backcombed to make him look as rough as possible.

Pidge was both good and immature at acting. Prone to giggling during a scene. No matter what, even if the scene was totally serious, she'd glance at the person in character and burst into laughter, keeling over as the other person stared at her, trying to cover their snickers underneath a palm. It was usually Lance or Keith, to their dismay, and once Pidge started laughing, she wouldn't stop. And neither would the rest of the crew. She wasn't a bad actress at all; she tolerated the stylists and the clothing, and messing around with her friends. She did all the stunts herself, much like Keith, Lance, and her brother did.

Hunk was reliable for anything. He was great at encouragement and wasn't afraid to aid his friends to get better at the scene they were doing, almost taking Shiro's leading job away from him. He, however, was slightly camera shy, and just enjoyed watching the scene unfold. He wasn't fond of the styling but tolerated it with ease. He kept all of his scripts in a folder lined with everyone else's crumpled up sheets of paper, covered in bright highlighters and scribbled with notes. He was also looking through his lines, uttering them underneath his breath, listening to Lance and Keith yell their lines at the top of their voices.

Shiro was mature. Not that easy to manipulate, but he couldn't resist laughing when something went wrong. He was excellent at keeping a straight face and remaining serious during even the funniest of scenes, and Matt tried to make him laugh behind the cameras, often wearing the wrong costumes to catch him out. He wasn't allowed to, but seeing Shiro crack the smallest of smiles meant he'd achieved something. He usually took the longest regarding makeup and he didn't care, but was often the one to tell everyone to be quiet behind the scenes.

Matt, on the other hand, was a mixture of them all. He'd laugh his hardest at something ridiculous and then change his stature almost immediately. He performed his own stunts and wasn't afraid to be a little more extravagant than he was supposed to. Most of all, he usually provided hot drinks during a lazy morning or after a hard day of work, when everyone had given up, their scripts over their faces as they groaned in defeat, almost sobbing out of frustration in costume.

"Look what Pidge gets to wear," Lance whistled, picking up a green set of lingerie. "Risqué."

"Lance, put that down," Pidge snorted. "That's for later, I'm sure you're wearing something more embarrassing."

"Is it really that embarrassing?" Keith mumbled from behind his script. "He won't be embarrassed if he's in lingerie all the time."

"But Katie gets to wear wings!" Lance whined. "I want to wear wings!"

"Lance, you're getting body glitter," Shiro smirked, trying not to move his head. Special effects makeup was so hard to put on. "All of you got every single body hair waxed for this so stop complaining."

"And you're wearing a veil," Keith took the cup of coffee given to him by his stylist. "Thanks."

Lance crouched behind Keith's chair and looped his arms around his chest. "When are we riding the horses?"

"Scene six." Matt muttered, playing with the clapboard. "Five minutes and four of us are up."

"But the set is so far away," Pidge groaned, thumbing the corner of her script. "Do we have to drive all that way?"

"It's a big building, once you're on the chariots I'm sure it'll be fine," Matt rolled his eyes. "Keith has to be mean again."

"I can do mean," Keith smirked, before realising. "Oh. As in, mean to Lance."

"I'm sure you're mean to him in bed," Pidge took a sip of her coffee and nonchalantly turned the page, ignoring Keith's pink cheeks. "Just think of that."

\---

"Keith, you have to be mean again, you've been mean this far," Lance smirked, fastening a robe over his costume. "Just yell at me, it's not that hard."

_"_ _Places_ _!"_

Lance gave his boyfriend's cheek a peck before dropping the robe to the floor, unveiling his costume, approaching his assigned chariot. Keith walked over to his, and the siblings rushed to the other side of the room to meet theirs. He took a deep breath, facing the girl stood on the chariot he probably forgot the name of, his hands on the horse's mane beside him.

_"And, action!"_

"If it isn't Twelve," Lance purred, getting completely into character.

Keith just had to snap a little. That was all.

"If you're going to be- " he lost his words and laughed to himself. "Okay, okay, I know the lines, can we do that again? I just can't be mean to Lance."

Matt smacked the clapboard together. "Take two."

"If you're going to be a flirt, you can fuck off," Keith snapped.

"Whoa," Lance grinned. "I was only trying to say hello."

"Yeah, and be an annoying prick."

"I'm Lance," he winked, outstretching his hand. "District Four."

Keith flitted his eyes over Lance's figure, almost forgetting his lines again. "Is- is that why you're- "

"I'm what, Keith?"

_"Cut! From the top!"_

"This is going to take forever!" Pidge groaned. "Keith, you useless homosexual."

"It's not my fault!" Keith snorted, hitting his boyfriend in the arm.

"Sorry, Keith, am I showing too much leg? Bicep?" Lance snickered.

* * *

"These bodysuits make my ass look way bigger than it should," Lance let his stylist zip up the back of his suit. "Keith? Opinions?"

Keith looked over his reading glasses while he passed Lance, slapping his backside as he walked away, grinning into his script. "Suits you."

Lance winked. "Thanks babe."

Pidge, Matt, Shiro and Hunk sat back in their chairs, reading through their scripts as the couple got in their places. This was the scene they had to do in the most little shots as possible, so they couldn't screw up. Keith had to look as desperate as possible, and he got into the bed inside the dark bedroom set, waiting for the director.

_"Aaaand action!"_

Keith stirred, holding his head in his hands as two knocks on the door jolted him out of his fake daze. He sat up slowly, staring at the door as Lance came in meekly, holding a large, silver plate.

"What do you want," Keith murmured, and Lance stepped onto the bed, as planned, following the script-

\- until Pidge let out the loudest cackle as Lance revealed a sex toy on the plate, his hand stifling his laughter as he watched Keith completely break his character just to laugh. In fact, the whole set crumbled into giggles. Nobody could stay quiet.

"For fuck's sake!" Keith snorted. Pidge was almost crying with laughter. Lance was on his back on the bed, his face in his hands, completely breathless and in hysterics.

* * *

Keith was bandaging his knuckles as Pidge reached for her bow and arrow leaning against one of the cameras, getting into position. He didn't want to hit Lance at all and he'd been dreading this scene for a while. His boyfriend leaped over the rings of the wrestling stand, limbering up for what was about to come.

"Please forgive me," Keith murmured. "You know we're just acting."

"Don't you worry about it," Lance grinned. "You're not even hitting me."

_"Action!"_

Keith immediately switched himself into character and threw punches at Lance, parrying his blows into the hidden padding he wore underneath his costume. He hated himself in his mind because he didn't want to hurt his partner, but Lance trusted him, which made this scene more intimate than violent, he supposed. He let Lance take a few more hits before it was Keith's turn again, and he did what he never thought he was going to do.

His knuckles collided with Lance's nose, causing him to stumble onto his back, his hand shakily making it to his face as blood poured onto his upper lip. Keith panicked immediately and rushed to assist him, hearing the director yell "Cut!"

"I'm sorry!" he cried. "Oh my God, Lance, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"

The set paramedics immediately came to Lance's side, giving him a wad of tissue to hold underneath his dripping nose.

"Whoa," Pidge climbed onto the wrestling ring. "Lance, you okay?"

'"I'm good," Lance winced. "I think."

Keith was almost in tears as he carried Lance back to his chair, holding the tissue up to his nose for him. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart, I feel like such a horrible person."

"I forgive you," Lance chuckled, holding Keith's quaking hand. "Hey, it's okay, I promise."

"Do I have to film this again?" Keith asked. "I don't trust myself."

"We probably got a good shot, so no."

Keith almost fainted in relief, and went back to peppering Lance's cheek with apologetic kisses.

* * *

Everyone was looking forward to the party scene. They'd chosen the perfect location for filming and even Pidge was ecstatic about getting involved. The lights were on, the cameras were rolling, now all they needed was action. The crew took their places in the heated room and the music started. All Pidge had to do was act as if she was saving Keith from some embarrassing situation.

_"And, action!"_

They took three months worth of dance lessons all for this scene and it all managed to pay off, in some sort of way. Pidge grabbed Keith's wrist and pulled him out of the grasp of a total stranger, prepared to say her lines.

"Hey, Ko- oh, I pulled Lance over instead, sorry Lance," she snorted, letting go of Lance's hand. Keith was doubling over in the corner, his laughter almost louder than Shiro's. "Guys, it's dark in here! I can't see properly!"

"Okay," Lance chuckled, wiping his tears of laughter away. "Okay, thanks for pulling me out of place."

"Pidge, I'm over here," Keith waved, holding up his glass of alcohol. "Don't forget that."

"Whatever," Pidge snickered. "Okay, I'm ready."

_"Take two."_

Pidge eventually made her way over to Keith and dragged him out of the arms of a stranger, almost sighing in relief that she'd pulled the correct boy away.

"Hey, Kogane," she grinned, placing her hands upon his shoulders, improvising some sort of dance. "I'm kind of a little drunk, but- shit I forgot my lines."

Keith snorted. "Are you sure you're just a little drunk?"

"I wish I was drunk," Pidge chortled, putting her head in her hands. "Oh, fuck, acting is hard, man."

"We believe in you, Pidge!" Shiro yelled from the set, his script in hand.

* * *

 

Keith stepped into his place on the beach, wielding all the knife props they had with his quick hands. "Lance, check out my _knife hands."_

"Check out my Poseidon trident," Lance leaned against the massive metal prop, sinking into the sand. Pidge was trying to adjust her arrows and Matt was stomping out the makeshift fire. The tide was coming in and Lance was loving it.

"Wait, wait," Pidge giggled, "I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand."

"Poseidon quivers before him!" Keith yelled, letting Lance emerge from the water, who promptly yelled:

_"Fuck off!"_

"You guys are the worst," Matt snorted, "Lance, you're not even supposed to be wet yet, get out of the ocean."

"Bitch, I _am_ the ocean."

"You're supposed to be injured, Lance," Shiro called, and Lance slumped back down onto the sand. "Act like it."

The crew assumed their places, with Matt kicking at the water, and Keith and Pidge sitting at Lance's side, who put on his best wounded expression.  Lance had acted around water plenty of times before. It was a breeze. Easy peasy.

_"Action!"_

"Y'know," Keith sighed. "Looks like we'll have to do it ourselves if Lancey-Lance is too- what are you laughing at?"

Pidge wasn't even the one that was laughing but she ended up snorting anyway. "Lancey-Lance! Oh my God, you're not a couple in this scene, please try and sound as cold as possible."

Lance snickered. "Lancey-Lance."

_"Take two, action."_

"Y'know," Keith sighed. "Looks like we'll have to do it ourselves if Lancey-Lance is too _hurt_."

"You're right," Pidge huffed. "How are we going to survive if Lance can't fish?"

"I can fish!" Lance hissed, snatching the trident from Keith. "Lancey-Lance will have to do it all by his fucking self!"

All went well as Lance approached the ocean, but it quickly took a turn for the worst as he slipped and fell on wet sand, landing flat on his backside into the tide, looking back at his crew as they laughed.

"I feel a sense of betrayal between the ocean and I," Lance giggled, taking Keith's hand while Pidge was practically on the floor crying with laughter. "I can't believe I fell flat on my ass while filming."

Keith brushed the sand away from Lance's suit. "I'm gonna have to say Lancey-Lance again, won't I?"

"You will, and you'll love it," Lance grinned.

* * *

 

"Shiro, you're up, so is Lotor."

Keith, Lance, Pidge, Matt and Hunk sat in their designated chairs reading through the current scene, keeping their eyes on the set. It was huge. Screens everywhere. Lotor appeared soon after, his robe casting onto the floor, his feet dipped in stiletto heels.

"Why is Lotor wearing stilettos?" Pidge whispered to Lance.

"I don't know, he's not supposed to be," he smirked. "Let's see if Shiro knows."

Every single screen lit up, including the large one behind Lotor, and he kicked his script out of view as Shiro waited to walk in on the shot.

_"Action!"_

Shiro walked in, his arms folded, his eyes on the screen ahead of him. Lotor's heels clicked against the floor as he shouted orders, leaning over the shoulders of each character.

"Give me an outlook on- "

Shiro took one look at the shoes Lotor was wearing and lost it. He had to grip the nearest table as he keeled over, laughing so hard he was almost breathless. Lotor snickered, giving the rest of the team a high-five while they all chortled. Shiro was a mess. He'd never laughed so much on set, ever. Even when he tried to regain himself his eyes fell on Lotor's shoes and his laughter was set off again. Lance had to leave the room because his stomach ached.

"Okay," Shiro coughed, wiping his cheeks. "Let's go again."

* * *

 

Filming in a jungle sucked. Especially when all the clothes available were bodysuit costumes and they barely had any ventilation, even though the designers knew how hot the set was going to be. They'd just have to make do.

Kissing scenes weren't that terrible. Keith and Lance were experts. It was the type of scene that would be over in one shot because nothing would ever need editing. Until now.

"Wait," Pidge grinned. "I'm betting ten bucks Keith pops a boner."

From behind a tree with Lance, Keith's eyes widened. Matt took out the same amount of money, while Shiro took the mature route.

"I'm gonna bet ten that he doesn't," he said from behind the set. "Keith's good at this."

"I don't know," Pidge sneered. "It's a hot scene."

"Can you stop putting bets on my dick and roll the cameras, please?" Keith felt awkward stood against a tree. Lance was much taller than him. Pidge took a deep breath and straightened her face, returning back to her stance.

_"And, action!"_

"You motherfucker," Keith breathed, his cheeks flushing at Lance's hands cupping them. "I hope you- "

Lance would have shut Keith up with a kiss if he actually reached his lips. Instead, Lance was holding Keith's shoulders, laughing into his chest out of sheer embarrassment, while Keith looked incredibly confused, his lips forming a slight pucker.

"Wait," Keith smirked. "Did you miss my lips?"

"Yes!" Lance cackled. "Okay, I'm sorry, I'll kiss you properly this time."

_"Keith, we already have the spoken part, so_ _just_ _redo the kiss."_

"Alright," Keith replied, letting his boyfriend shift his knee into his crotch. "It's not that hard to kiss, Lance."

Lance snorted.

_"Take two, action."_

Keith had forgotten the scene was unfolding entirely and was caught off guard when Lance kissed him, almost suffocating as he did so. Lance pulled away laughing as usual, a slight blush upon his cheeks.

"Did you not see me coming?" he ruffled Keith's hair. "Oh, my God, Keith, you can't tell me off for missing your lips if you're gonna do that."

"I'm sorry!" Keith grinned. "Okay, let's go again."

"Is Keith hard yet?" Pidge called.

"Unfortunately not," Lance replied. "I would know."

_"Take three, action."_

Keith was ready for the kiss this time but it was caught in amidst of Lance's laughter, so his boyfriend missed his lips, once again, and he was getting flustered over it.

"Lance, we've been dating for three years now and you've missed my lips twice!" Keith laughed. "Can't you kiss?"

"I can kiss!" Lance stuck his tongue out.

_"Take four, action."_

Lance kissed Keith for real, and despite it feeling great, Keith was already feeling out of it due to the jungle heat. He gave Lance another kiss for good measure before coating himself in ice-cold water, leaving enough at the bottom of the bottle for Lance.

Pidge won the money.

* * *

 

Rain effects were easy to make and the studio didn't hesitate on using them. They were helping Matt try to act dead for once as he laid among the grass, his friends looking solemn as ever. They had to cease all kind of laughter and joy just for this moment, but of course, they just couldn't keep it in.

_"Action."_

Pidge held her brother's hand, looking down on him, expressing as much sadness as possible. Lance clutched Keith's hand as they looked over Matt's body in silence.

Until Matt started laughing and it became more contagious as the scene went on.

"Dead people don't laugh!" Pidge shouted, laughing at the same time. "For fuck's sake, Matt!"

Keith and Lance bit their lips. They were trying so hard not to laugh.

* * *

 

Sex scenes. Everyone's favourite because Lance giggles in the most inappropriate times and Keith's cheeks fade into a pink colour every time. Kissing in the hot spring was enough. Getting to the cave was another thing entirely and every time Lane giggled, they had to shoot the whole thing again.

Everyone else was reading their scripts behind the cameras, trying to ignore the noises coming from beyond the cave, despite the couple only reaching their peak of privacy. They knew everyone else was watching, and Lance kept giggling, so Keith thought _fuck it_ and kissed Lance's aching lips like he was made for it.

"Why is this something we're all used to?" Matt huffed. "I'm dead in this but, I still have the curse of hearing this."

"Is it a curse?" Shiro snorted. "It's part of the plot. Leave them to it."

Pidge had her headphones in, counting the money she'd won for the bet. If she'd placed another round for this scene, she would have won for sure.

Keith and Lance often got way to into their sex scenes and had to be reminded that it was only film.

When it was over, Pidge gave them a little nudge by placing the jaguar head prop in there, and she was pretty sure she heard Lance squeal like a five year old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im hoping this was good enough ;^)


	62. Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new addition to Keith's family.

Three days later I woke up with Lance's scent against my nose and my heart raced, until I discovered that he wasn't there. This was going to be difficult. I was starting to give up over my father and his decision to finally send me to the Capitol, which I wanted to do. I was so ambitious over it. I just wanted to get out of my District and be with the people who'd treated me with so much respect it was almost unreal. I wanted to see Lance again. The siblings. Even Shiro. Hunk was still someone I held close within my circle of friends and they were all headed towards living in the Capitol, without me.

I wondered if they even cared.

At around noon, I ran off into the forest without any particular aim. I just wanted to get used to being at home again, as well as having my mother around. She was recovering well and as much as I was happy for her, her hair was still streaky, and her skin was riddled with tiny scars, just like mine. I stayed indoors more frequently so as to not worry her, because she still had vivid flashbacks of what happened, and occasionally, my father and I'd have to calm her down.

I started getting nightmares about Lance. About the entire Games. I even felt my heart race with the image of her covered in venomous wasp stings and in the end, I went outside for some fresh air, wearing Lance's jacket underneath my leather one. It kept me warm, the scent was wavering, but it was his, and that was all that mattered. Nyma's family were still mourning over her death, and I didn't dare to visit them. They'd blame me. 

No more new messages from anyone. I still kept the device in the back pocket in my jeans, checking it every now and again, even though I knew I didn't hear it sound. I kept staring at the photo of Lance within the conversation and turned the device off to prevent my mind from reeling. I didn't want to let him go. I needed him. He was still in District Four, probably, unless he'd moved that fast.

I sat down on a rock watching the river flow, hearing the gentle sounds of the water and the birdsong in the trees. It was relaxing, but I felt out of place. I enjoyed sharing the spot with someone else, ever since I took Lance to the tree I climbed. That was a good moment. We felt on top of the world for just a moment, exactly how we both felt when we were adored by the public, dressed in costume and caked with makeup.

I was about to stand up and return home when the handheld vibrated in my pocket, and I picked up, full of hope thinking that Lance was  _finally calling -_

"Hey, Pidge," I murmured. My heart sank, and I began to walk home.

"Heya," she trilled. "Guess where we are!"

"The Capitol?" I yawned, hearing her smirk on the other line.

"We're on the way, yeah," she replied. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing."

I ducked underneath the metal fence and continued my journey home, my other hand in my pocket, clutching a piece of shiny-textured paper that I'd forgotten was in there. I was clueless as to what it was, and pulled it out.

It was the image of Lance and I back at his bedroom, smiling like love-struck idiots at the camera. For once, both of us looked truly, naturally happy, and I let out the smallest, lovesick sigh as Pidge ranted to me through the speaker.

"And even Matt said- whoa, Keith, are you sure it's nothing?"

I unlocked the door of my house and stepped inside, immediately taking in the scent of my mother's favourite ocean-scented candles and suddenly I was feeling sick and upset all over again. I lost all train of thought, ignoring Pidge's concerned tone and staring at the floor of my living room, watching my mother sit on the couch carrying a small box. She looked expectant of me and patted the space beside her. I knew she meant well, but all I wanted to do was curl up and try and get hold of Lance.

"Keith?" Pidge called.

"I'll talk later."

I shoved the handheld in my pocket and tried to escape by heading upstairs, but my mother called me right back down again, and I didn't want to misbehave and disappoint her after all she went through. I gave in and sat beside her, glancing at the box on her lap that was  _rustling_.

"What," I murmured, "is that."

My mother lifted the lid and reached her hands in, and what came out almost had my heart in a puddle. She scooped up the smallest grey kitten with one white sock on its front right paw, and the most gorgeous bright blue eyes. She held it gently and I looked at her, wanting an explanation. I knew we had a cat before, and I had such a soft spot for them, but I was  _nineteen_ and I doubted that I had enough time to look after it.

"We know that it was going to take some time adjusting to being back home," my mother muttered, cradling the kitten in her palm as it mewled against her cheek. "And you're an only child, we haven't had a pet for a while."

I took the kitten from her and let it crawl over my lap. I couldn't believe I was getting soft over a kitten.

"We can afford the food, the bed, the toys, and the vaccines," my mother said. "Because you won."

"But the only vet is in the Capitol," I muttered, feeling the little thing nibble at my fingers. "Hey! No biting!"

"Do you see where I'm going with this?" she grinned.

I looked at her, feeling a little ray of hope gleam in my heart. I knew she'd find a loophole somewhere. I hugged her with all my strength, being careful of her healing scars.

"You'd do that for me?" I muttered. "Won't dad disagree?"

"Dad knows how bad you wanna go, Keith," she rubbed my back, picking up the kitten again. "Give it time and I'm sure you'll be there in no time. For now, make a new little friend, give him a name, and we'll go collar shopping in the Capitol."

"Thank you," I smiled.

I took the kitten upstairs, along with the box and toys, placing them gently on the bed. At least I could brag to Pidge about having a new addition to the family. I bet Lance would have a soft spot for it too, if he responded. I allowed the kitten to explore my bedroom, until I put it on my lap again, and let it swat at my fingers.

"I don't know what to name you," I murmured. It rubbed its cheek against the palm of my hand. "Maybe I'll let Lance name you."

I laid back on the bed and took the handheld out of my pocket, along with the photograph, which I slid within the frame on my nightstand. I went back to the little group conversation we all had just to brag about him, because I adored him, and he was all mine.

All mine until I lived with Lance, and then we'd share him.

_**Keith** : check out our new addition_

**_Keith_ ** _sent a photo._

I waited until someone replied, watching the kitten stretch out on my chest and lie down. I tapped its tiny pink paw pads and cooed, gazing softly as it curled up into a ball, its eyes blue and sleepy. 

_**Pidge:** keith you are so lucky, look at its eyes_

**_Matt:_ ** _not as cute as our dog sorry_

**_Pidge:_ ** _matt you know full well that fucking kitten is cuter than anything_

**_Lance:_ ** _does it have a name?!_

Lance was actually responding for once, and my heart raced.

_**Keith:** no, i can't think of one_

**_Keith:_ ** _i was hoping you could name it? seeing as it could be our kitten?_

**_Lance:_ ** _aw, our first little member of the family_

**_Lance:_ ** _ill think of a name_

As soon as the conversation fell dead again, I reintroduced the one with Lance only, and decided to ask him about his absence. I wanted to know if he was still fond of me or not. Nonetheless, if we hadn't bonded, it wasn't that big of a deal - but I'd still be hurt.

_**Keith:** hey, why haven't we been talking?_

I waited for at least an hour for his response, but after that, I gave up. The scent was fading from his jacket which upset me even more. With the kitten asleep in a warm, fluffy lump on my chest, I quickly called Pidge back, trying to disguise the solemn tone in my voice. I don't think I'd ever missed someone so much before and it wasn't fair. It hurt.

"Look who's calling back," Pidge scoffed. There was a lot of rattling in the background. "We're moving boxes into our house. The Capitol Victor's Quarters houses are huge! Almost mansions! My room is probably bigger than mine and Matt's put together back home. Anyway, what's wrong?"

"Has... Lance been talking to you?" I asked. "I haven't heard from him in a while."

"Nope," Pidge huffed. "Have you done anything to annoy him?"

"No," I murmured.  _Unless he decided phone sex wasn't an option._ "I just miss him."

"It's weird if he's not talking to you, he loves talking to you," Pidge hummed. "Oh my God, they've stacked my wardrobe with clothes already. Are you moving here?"

"I hope so," I sighed. "My mother was hoping the kitten would persuade my father to take care of it. All the vet services are in the Capitol and my dad loves cats."

"Smart-  _wait,"_ she muttered. "Your mother?! She's alive?"

"Yeah," I grinned. "My father gave a large sum of money towards keeping her within a healing pod, and despite her having scars, she's doing well. I'm really happy."

"Aww," Pidge cooed. "I'm really glad. How's the kitten?"

"I only got him today," I laughed. "He's sleeping on my chest."

"Adorable," she laughed. "Anyway, I have to help my parents unpack and Matt is complaining about something. I'll talk soon, I hope you and Lance manage to sort something out."

"Me too." I mumbled. "See you soon."

After that, I glanced at Lance's empty messages, and headed downstairs for dinner. I didn't want to wallow in sadness any more. I had to focus on persuading my father to get to the Capitol, and I didn't care what it took. The kitten rolled around on our rug, and my mother and I dangled a toy in front of it, laughing as we teased it. It had been a while since we'd had something like this. 

"Have you chosen a name?" she asked, taking the toy from me. "I like the name Sky."

"Sky?" I laughed. "Because of the eyes? Mom, that's cliché."

"Then why don't you think of a better one?" she snickered. 

"I want Lance to name him, that's why," I scratched underneath the kitten's chin. "I probably couldn't even make my mind up."

After my father came home, and we settled around the table, letting the kitten roam the living room, my mother tried negotiating with him again. In the end, he was so close to giving in, but then I remembered that Lance  _wasn't talking to me_ and had no reason why. I sat at the table, stumped, trying to imagine life without him. I couldn't. I  _wanted_ to live with him. I already knew how great it felt to stay with him for a couple of nights, with only our company, and nothing else. 

"Are you blackmailing me?" my father laughed. "Look, alright. I can't stop you, Keith. It's your money, after all."

That night, I laid wide awake, staring at the screen of the handheld, trying to tell Lance the news. I didn't want to bother him with message after message, so I kept mine in the conversation from earlier. I didn't want to lose contact with him at all. I was just about to fall asleep at around three o'clock, before it buzzed in my hand, and I sleepily glared at it with a grunt of discontent.

_**Lance:** sorry! i was working, i need to save for a little something-something_

**_Lance:_ ** _can we call your kitten Blue?_

**_Keith:_ ** _what are you saving for? Blue sounds good!_

_**Lance:** cant tell yooouuu, its a secreeettt_

I smiled a little bit. I was still wearing his jacket to bed.

_**Keith:** can i have a clue?_

_**Lance:**  hm_

**_Lance:_ ** _we need to bond first. thats all im saying._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;;;))))


	63. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally make it to the Capitol.

"Keith," my father said, sipping tea from a mug across the table. "I know you're nineteen, but remember that you are part of this family unit and if we weren't going to the Capitol you'd still be living here."

"So we  _are_  going to the Capitol?" I raised my brow. "I mean, I  _was_  thinking of literally running away -"

"I've been hesitant because I don't trust the Capitol entirely, but if some of them have helped you stay alive, then I'm determined to do what's best for you."

I looked at my father, tapping my fingers against the table. He was so indecisive but I couldn't believe he'd given in. I tried reading his face for some sort of lie, but if it was just him trying to trust the citizens of the Capitol, then I had decent experience, and I wasn't afraid to introduce him to some of the people I knew. It was going to be Christmas soon, after all, and it snowed heavily down in Twelve. I wasn't so sure up in the Capitol. They probably controlled their own weather.

"So," I thumbed the ridge of my mug. "When are we going?"

"As soon as we've packed," my father replied. "Remember the kitten and all of its stuff, both of you have done enough to  _blackmail_  me from moving to the Capitol."

"I still could have gone myself," I grinned. My mother already had boxes placed all over the room, and since my house was practically bare anyway, we didn't have a lot to pack. My father gave me a look of disapproval at my idea, but soon got up to help my mother lift things. I instantly made sure the kitten was out of harm's way and secured it within my bedroom as I piled in clothes, photographs, albums, and any other little relics I'd collected over the past. The handheld was still on my nightstand, without any form of message displaying upon the screen.

It had been at least a week since Lance spoke to me and I was aching to see him again. The scent was lost from his jacket because I'd worn it so much, which felt slightly heartbreaking. As I dashed down to grab a box, I also picked up one for the kitten and his toys. Blue was resting on Lance's jacket, coating it with fur. Lance wouldn't mind. I'd been wearing it, after all. I wondered if he was enjoying my gloves.

Would it be like the reunion back at the castle? It probably wouldn't be as desperate but it'd be awfully emotional. Ever since I'd accidentally marked him with my scent, I'd always felt a small bond between him and I, but I couldn't help but feel it waver after being away from him. It was like a withdrawal and I wasn't too fond of it at all.

I placed as little as I could in each box. The Capitol would provide us with anything we needed anyway and I had enough winnings to buy my family and I some more necessities and items that we usually wouldn't be able to afford. If Pidge said her room was big, I couldn't imagine the size of mine and Lance's. I adored my room back at the castle, and the bed was so comfortable I didn't ever want to leave.

As soon as we were ready, we sorted everything into old luggage cases and kept everything out for the kitten. We'd keep him in a pet transport crate for later, but for now, he was still pouncing on our arms as we lifted all kinds of things into our luggage. We whittled all of our belongings down to just two cases, and the amount we had was almost saddening. We barely had anything at all; my mother bit her lip in slight despair as if she'd realised how bad our quality of living was. Compared to Lance, we lived in a quite disappointing house, and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

As soon as Blue was placed in the crate, we carried everything out and stared up at the house that looked even more bare than it was. I didn't think that was possible. I checked my pockets and other belongings to see if I'd gotten everything - until I realised I'd left the handheld on my nightstand.

"I've left something upstairs," I said, heading back inside.

"Be quick, Keith, we're getting the train," my father called.

I grabbed the handheld and almost skidded off downstairs, before glancing at the photograph of Lance and I in the frame. I snatched that with my heart hammering in relief, before thundering back down the stairs and closing the door. I couldn't afford to lose that after everything he'd done for me.

"Are we done?" I asked. "What are we going to do with the house?"

"We'll put it up for sale once we've settled," my father answered. "Or something. We'll figure it out, Keith."

The train station wasn't a long walk, but after climbing a couple of small hills and greeting some residents that watched me during the Games, we didn't reach the station until around noon. Everyone was very welcoming and congratulated me. Others gave me their pity. I said goodbye to old neighbours and classmates who'd known me for a while until finally, we reached the station, and boarded the train to the Capitol.

It kept reminding me of meeting the Tributes for the first time. The train was much smaller this time, and didn't have the same luxuries. The seats were still comfortable as ever, and offered scenic views as we travelled through each District. We entered Four and I caught the glint of the ocean out of the corner of my eye. I still loved seeing Lance's happy, relaxed smile whenever he found his place of comfort. The ocean probably felt like home to him. We then approached Five, and sped past the towering power plants, the Holt station and residence clearly in view. Their plant wasn't active, Pidge said she'd already arrived.

Had Lance made it there yet?

The train ride was more relaxing than the time we journeyed back home. Even though it was silent and full of other passengers, my parents enjoyed looking out of the window and I pointed out a few things that felt familiar, including the Holt power plant. If Lance was already there and Pidge said her family were moving in, then Shiro was there, too. He was in the Capitol from the beginning. I wouldn't be surprised if he stayed.

I still wore Lance's jacket underneath my leather one and it kept me warm throughout the approaching winter. The clouds overhead were a soft grey and I knew it'd snow in some areas of the country - it always did in Twelve in November. It was such a pain to go outside and get dry if I'd fallen. The lakes would freeze over and my mother and I would attempt to slide across them. I was a little too old for that now, but I wouldn't mind doing it again.

"So, the Capitol," my father hummed. "How's the food?"

I smirked, averting my gaze from the scenery outside to face him, my head resting against the cold, frosty glass. "Just the food?"

"You've been there," he imitated my smirk. "Tell me about it."

"Uh," I didn't know where to begin. "It's big. Very big. Most of the buildings are white unless they're part of the Galra government. It's not that divided as the treaty says it is."

"They usually have massive weddings, right?" my mother opened a lazy eye. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I only went there to be killed."

"Keith," my father scoffed. "You never answered my question."

"The food is alright," I yawned, slowly watching the Capitol loom over us as we sped underneath a bridge overlooking a crystal-clear river. The station wasn't so far away. "They have a thing for crystal champagne glasses."

"So they have decent alcohol," my mother grinned. "And you've been drinking, huh?"

"Maybe," I sat up. "A little bit."

Finally, the train screeched to a halt and we walked off immediately. I'd only just come back from the Capitol so I was recognised by a few strangers, and I waved meekly at some children cheering for me as we walked through the station. As much as the attention made me feel slightly superior, I just wanted it to end. I wanted to go to the Quarters and finally  _rest_. I needed to find Lance. We boarded a taxi all the way to the Victor's Quarters, driving past the lush Altean gardens enriched with beautiful flowers and elegant butterflies. The castle towered over the citizens in the distance.

The Alteans were definitely distinguishable with their silver hair, shining in the winter sun. The roads were already smothered with a dusting of snow, and the leaves on the trees glistened with a sheen of frost. Everything glittered. It seemed luxurious all over again and I couldn't wait to find out where our house would be.

Or, rather, the one that Lance and I would live in.

"It's really pretty," my mother smiled. "Are you sure we're living here?"

I nodded. "Otherwise, we have enough money to live here."

The Victor's Quarters were inside a large, white gate, decorated with golden vines spiralling up the bars, encrusted with tiny diamonds that glittered in the sun. Within the gates sat rows of large houses, spaced out for privacy, with beautiful gardens and ornaments hung out the front to reflect the winter. We drove slowly past the neighbourhood, until we finally reached this year's Victors - each house had the surname of the winner as well as the house number, and I almost felt my heart sing when I saw  _'Holt,' 'McClain,'_ and  _'Kogane.'_

The taxi stopped, we paid the fare, and I immediately got out of the car, breathing in the fresh air of the healthy Capitol. It was bitter outside and the harsh cold stung my nose, but being wrapped up in the warmth of Lance's jacket and mine made it feel cosy. My mother and father found the keys to their home and unlocked the door, while I dashed over to the McClain residence and rapped my cold knuckles against the white door, my breath making clouds in the air. His mother opened the door.

"Keith!" she smiled, pulling me in for a gentle hug. "You must be looking for Lance. He's settled in the house over the street, waiting for you."

"He is?" I gasped. Lola came over and waved. I waved right back.

"Hey, trouble," I picked her up and gave her a hug while she played with the hair hanging in front of my face. "How are you?"

"Hello Keef," she giggled. "I'm good!"

"I'm gonna go see Lance okay? I'll see you later," I tapped her nose and put her down, before giving her mother a wave goodbye. I didn't see a lot inside from just standing there, but it felt warm and smelled like new carpet, so I had to make it all the way to mine and Lance's place quickly to relish that brand-new feeling. Our house didn't have a nameplate, but I immediately knew Lance was in there. Through peering into the small frosted-glass window in the door, the lights were on. With a deep breath and my heart pounding, I knocked on the door.

I shivered while I waited for him to answer. It was beginning to snow, and soon my hair was freckled with white specks. I blinked away a couple of snowflakes that settled onto my eyelashes while I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans, my teeth chattering. He was taking forever. Was he even home? Did he forget to turn off the lights? I'd been waiting for five minutes and I'd begun to think he was at the Holt residence. From just standing outside on the gravel path, it was a three-storey house with a balcony overlooking the road. Over the houses behind me it had a view of the castle.

Soon, the door unlocked, and Lance opened it with his gloved hands, a warm smile spreading his lips. I kept forgetting there was a height difference. My heart filled with euphoria all over again and my stomach fluttered with tiny butterflies.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I grinned apologetically.

"Welcome home," he bit his lip, smiling even wider. "Come in, you're in the snow, I've already set up most of the things in here."

I stepped in and he closed the door. I wiped my wet shoes on the mat and kicked them off, before taking in the scent of  _home_. It was a mixture of him and vanilla candles he'd lit in the living room, that was way more spacious than back home. The floor of the hall was plush carpet, with a staircase ascending all the way up to the second floor. The kitchen was situated on the left, with a dining area. The living room opened up to an elevated area, much like a glass conservatory, complete with a loveseat looking into the garden.

"It's big, isn't it?" Lance grinned. "Wanna go upstairs? See our room?"

I nodded, and he pulled me by the wrist all the way up the stairs to our room, which was way bigger than expected. I gasped in awe at metal-framed four-poster bed, and the drapes that hung around the corners. The walls were painted a gorgeous eggshell blue. The closet was white, the mirrors were large, and a door leading into an ensuite bathroom looked more inviting than ever. Lance sat down on the bed, and I watched him bounce as the mattress sprung.

"This is all ours," he laughed. "All of it. It's hard to believe."

"Can I see the bathroom?" I asked. Lance snorted.

"You're asking as if it's my house," he replied. "We both live here."

While he awaited me on the bed, I walked into the bathroom and almost gawped at the large bath in the corner, with a button for bubble jets, endless amounts of soap bottles and fluffy towels. A shower was placed on the right, and it appeared as if it had multiple jet streams. Once I'd had enough of looking, I returned to the bed and Lance was led on his back, looking up at the high ceiling with his eyes closed. I felt relaxed. Happy, even. This was all ours and more and we had all the time in the world to be alone. We didn't even have to rush.

I leaped on the bed and straddled his waist, watching his eyelids snap open as I attacked his stomach with vicious tickles, hearing his shrieks echo through our house. I laughed along with him until he was begging for me to stop, tears streaming down his cheeks as he cried with laughter, my cold fingers still riddling his soft, warm stomach with tiny touches that made him giggle. After that, I led down upon his chest, my legs in between his, his hands resting on my backside.

"We're alone," he murmured, giving my lips lazy kisses. I missed that hazy look in his eyes. "Where's your kitten?"

"With my mom and dad," I accepted another kiss. And another.

"Your mom?" he muttered, rolling us both so we were lying on our sides. 

I nodded. "Long story short, healing pods are a good thing."

Lance smiled. "I'm happy for you. We'll get your kitten later if you just want to stay inside. It's snowing, after all."

"I might want to stay inside," I grinned, thumbing his bottom lip. "I don't get kisses if I go outside."

"You're right," he winked. "Would you like some?"

"I wouldn't mind."

With a little giggle, he pulled me closer and cupped my cheek, his lips feeling so warm against my cold ones. My heart pounded and I was almost breathless against him as we became needy and rough, our hands roaming underneath shirts, and I immediately recognised the leather of my gloves as soon as they touched my bare chest. We rolled over one another, taking advantage of the bounce of the mattress, until we had a knock at the door. Lance detached himself from me with a groan, lifting himself up off of me.

"Shall we go see?" he asked, looking back at our bedroom door. I pulled his collar down and kissed him again, feeling him hum in content against my lips.

"Less talking, more kissing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man im really sorry if my recent chapters are dry as hell, they seem like theyre really lacking in plotline and stuff but ill make it up to you guys 
> 
> also because im probably planning another fic after this one is finished ;))
> 
> (also hey yo im going to publish a one shot here on my ao3 so stay tuned to my profile ily)


	64. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith doubts himself.

By the time we heard a few more frustrated knocks downstairs, we opened the door to find Pidge and her brother grinning at us, with cosy scarves wrapped around their necks, and fluffy sweaters keeping them warm. They stepped in with a smile and dusted away the snow on their shoes, before heading upstairs. We laid haphazardly on the bed, with my head in Lance's lap, Pidge staring at the ceiling, and Matt sat up against one of the four posters, playing with the drapes.

"You arrived," Pidge smirked. "Your house is awesome. Where's your kitten?"

"Does everyone want to see my kitten?" I laughed, and they all nodded eagerly. To admit, I couldn't wait to see him either, and he was more fond of me rather than my parents. "But it's cold outside."

"But you're coming back!" Matt stretched, popping his knuckles. "Go get your kitty, Keith."

"I'm gonna have to bring everything else," I stood up and shuffled off the bed. "Because it is Lance's kitten too."

"Sure is." Lance grinned. "Hurry back."

I threw on my jacket and rushed outside in the cold, dashing over to my parent's house and rubbing my arms briskly to keep warm. I could tell the winter was here. It was beginning to snow heavily, and as soon as I'd found the kitten, his travel crate, his toys, and finally his bed, I shouted a brief goodbye to my parents and ran back into the snow, keeping Blue nestled in the warmth of my jacket. The warmth of my house had me heaving in relief. I shook the snow from my hair, kicked off my shoes, and carefully walked upstairs.

Blue was getting bigger, and although he could still fit in the palm of my hand, he was fond of nibbling my fingers and playfighting me whenever I moved. When I made it up to the room, I set down his accessories and walked over to the bed, watching my friends sit up. With the most careful hands, I unveiled Blue from my jacket, and let him roam around on the bed. Lance let out a loud gasp, Pidge cooed with her hands clasped over her mouth, and Matt leaned forward to pet him in between his ears.

"Oh my God," Pidge cried, letting Blue walk onto her lap. I sat down beside her, watching him swat at her fingers. "He's so little, I think I'm gonna cry. Hey, little guy!"

Blue mewled and nuzzled his cheek into Pidge's palm, before she handed him over to Matt.

"I'm no good with tiny animals," he laughed, passing him to Lance instead. "I'm more of a dog person."

"You spoilsport," I chuckled. Lance gave Blue's head a few kisses and let him lie on his knee. "Lance named him Blue."

"I didn't know he was this tiny!" Lance giggled, giving the kittens' tummy a little tickle. "Does he have any collars? Accessories?"

"No, but we can go shopping for them if you want to," I looked over to Matt and Pidge. "Did you guys want to tag along?"

"Sure, I mean, our parents are going out to find a restaurant," Matt shrugged. "Please make your kitten wear a little blue tuxedo."

"No!" Lance whined, led on his back as Blue crawled all over him. "Blue doesn't deserve that kind of torture."

Lance led on his side and assumed the foetal position as the kitten nibbled and pawed at his nose, his little smile telling no lies, he was so fond of this tiny fluffy thing attacking his nose and soft cheeks. He couldn't help but tickle Blue's paws. Pidge laid on her stomach and tapped his nose. These two were never going to leave Blue alone and I didn't think he cared.

"We came to visit because we were wondering," Matt shuffled closer. "Would you guys join us for Christmas? We usually have a big table full of food and it would be great if you guys were there to celebrate it too."

Lance pulled Blue up in the palm of his hand and gave his fur a good nuzzle. "You are so cute and I love you so much, if anything were to happen to you I would kill everyone in the room and then myself."

I smirked. "That'd be nice, I think Lance would love to as well."

"Keith!" Lance cried, thumbing Blue's ears. "We're cat parents!"

"Yep, I think he'd love to."

"Shiro might be there, it depends, he hasn't responded yet," Matt shrugged. "When are we going out for cat things?"

As soon as we delivered Blue back to my parents' house so he could be supervised, we all trudged in the snow all the way to the city centre, amongst the large, white buildings that glittered with frost, the citizens kicking up mounds of white as they passed by. Snow was always a pain back in Twelve but now I could appreciate it a little more. I held Lance's hand in my jacket pocket to keep it warm, and Pidge looked comfortable as hell wearing a pair of fluffy mint-green earmuffs, her sweater, scarf, and knee-length black leather boots. Her nose was flushed pink from the cold. Matt looked the same, but rather unprepared. He didn't seem as warm as his sister.

We were constantly waved at while walking, and we tried to greet everyone back, but they were so caught up in what they were doing, we were ignored most of the time. Eventually, we made it to a pet store, completely stocked to the brim with cat toys and collars. Lance picked up a little baby-blue one with a silver bell and cooed.

"This one," he grinned. "Please. We'll just hear his little bell jingle as he walks around the house."

"That has to be annoying though, right?" Matt smirked. I shook my head.

"No way! We'll always know where he is. He's so small," I chuckled, taking the collar from Lance. "Anything else?"

We all picked up cat toys, food and treats to spoil our kitten at home. The basket we had to pick up due to the amount of items we fawned over was soon overflowing. Lance was so excited, he kept picking up items for other different pets too, to see if they'd apply to our kitten. Of course, the answer was no, but I could let him dream. Once we paid for our items, we walked out with wide smiles on our faces, but as soon as Matt and Pidge took their role as being at the front of the group, Lance grabbed my wrist and pulled me aside.

"Is there a chance you can get into a rut later?" he whispered, his lips against the scent gland in my neck. I froze completely. "I wanna try that bite you promised."

I bit my lip. "I-I guess so? You know you're not entirely in control when  _I'm_ in a rut, right?"

I didn't want to hurt Lance, especially after him being in a healing pod for so long, and almost hurting him the time before that. I trusted myself, but not entirely. Bond bites were a big deal and I didn't want Lance feeling like he was burdened by me. The idea of him being marked forever was appealing and he'd get the feeling.

"It's not- Lance, you know that I can't just, get into a rut," I murmured. Lance smirked.

"Nah, I mean," he wrapped his arms around my waist and nestled his nose into my neck. "Around  _me_. I'm in heat."

No wonder he was so protective of that kitten.

He was so affectionate and clingy in public as we walked around, window shopping for Christmas gifts, and walking into places that smelled like cinnamon spice. The more he squeezed my hand and nuzzled closer into my side, the more I became fonder of his actions. His hand brushed my backside as we stood in a clothes store, watching Pidge pick out a new sweater.

"You never gave me an answer," Lance nestled his cold nose into the nape of my neck. "Can we?"

I was terrified of hurting him. He was fragile. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bear to envision his face in pain. He didn't deserve it at all. Pidge paid for her sweater and we walked out of the store with her satisfied grin plastered upon her face. Lance kept his arm wrapped around my waist, probably dwelling over my silence.

"I'll think about it," I muttered. Despite being under a zipped up jacket, I could still sense his scent. "Hey, stop nuzzling me there!"

"But it's so warm," Lance purred, pecking the gland. "And you smell good."

I rolled my eyes, trying to suppress a smile. Lance was clingy and so affectionate during his heat, and since he was trying his best to calm it down during the Games, this was going to be his first proper heat. And I was going to be right there with him.

After we'd had our time in the city, we walked back home, our fingers cold and bitter. I fetched Blue from my parents' house, laving Lance to open the door, and I met him upstairs after saying goodbye to the Holt siblings. We fastened the collar to Blue's neck and let him roam the house, hearing his little bell jingle as he pounced on our dresser and played with the ornaments near the mirror. He was going to grow up into such a mischievous cat.

"How far are you into your heat?" I asked, sitting beside Lance on the bed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto the mattress.

"It's not quite starting just yet, but," Lance buried his face into my neck. "I can feel it and it usually comes in the middle of the night."

"You're gonna tire me out," I laughed. "Can't you take suppressants this once?"

"No!" Lance whined, peppering my cheek with kisses. "I want to bond with you, I'll take suppressants halfway through or something so it doesn't last as long."

"Are you sure that's not going to be dangerous?" I murmured. "I'm afraid of hurting you, that's all."

"I'm not that fragile," Lance laughed pitifully, caressing my left cheek with his thumb. He made me sleepy when he did that. "You won't break me, I promise."

I sighed. "If you want to bond, then I can't stop you. I do too."

With a soft smile and the loudest sigh of affection, Lance nestled his nose further into my neck, tugging me closer into his body. I just had to be brave and treat him as gently as I could, maybe even pamper him a little bit. The bath was big enough for two. So was the shower. Perhaps that could be doable one way or another. With Blue exploring our room, his little bell jingling quietly from our dresser, I felt Lance fall asleep against me. I looked down to see his eyelashes fluttering. Gently, I kissed his forehead and relaxed in his embrace. It was so quiet. We had all the time in the world.

I was looking forward to sleeping in the bed way too much. It was comfortable as hell and even Blue hopped over to snuggle up to us, curling up on Lance's shoulder. I scratched behind his fluffy little ears until he purred. 

"Is he on my shoulder?" Lance yawned, opening a lazy eye. "I can feel him purring."

"Because he loves you," I cooed, poking his squishy cheek. "He thinks you're warm and comfortable and a bed."

"I'm not a bed," Lance pouted. "Okay, maybe I am a bed, both of you are curled up."

When Lance fell asleep again, I did too. It was warm and peaceful and ever so quiet, it was so hard to resist. However, I was occupied with the bond bite - and how anxious I was about hurting him again, just like I did in the past, or when he was swept underneath the waves during the Games and I didn't see him for days upon end-

I shot upright, my heart pounding against my chest. I'd managed to jolt Lance out of his sleep and it was the late evening. He stared up at me with tired, concerned eyes, and I began to doubt helping him through his heat.

"What's wrong?" he croaked. Blue leaped off the bed. 

"Nothing," I murmured, shifting back onto the bed. "I just need to stop being a pussy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keef ur gonna be ok


	65. Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is eager to power through his heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is in Lance's pov! ♡

I'd never had to deal with a heat properly before. I was on birth control for as long as I could remember because my family consisted of Betas, and as soon as it was revealed that I was an Omega, my mother put me on suppressants so I'd be like my siblings. I didn't mind it - I got used to it, rarely felt heat symptoms, and arousal was just teenage hormones. I dealt with that fine.

Until, the Games appeared, and I lost my suppressants. I couldn't take them with me because the Games were raw, and heats were just a part of it for public entertainment. Even then, I had to suppress it with what I was given, so I didn't feel a full heat. I didn't see it coming. I didn't know how to deal with it and that was what scared me the most. I was afraid I was going to be hunted down by other Alphas because of my scent.

But luckily, as soon as Keith recognised his feelings, and I realised how much I craved the feeling of a heat being truly satisfied, I was finally given the relief I deserved. And I loved it more than I thought, it was almost embarrassing - but still, it was suppressed slightly. I'd never had a proper heat. It was foreign to me. I had scent blockers, suppressants, hormone blockers, but no way of actually _helping_ myself.

Keith's scent was so appealing to me. It had been ever since the Games, and since my sense of smell was heightened, I could smell his musky, smokey scent from where I was lying. He was curled up on his side, his dark eyelashes fluttering, meanwhile I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, my hands quaking, my pillow drenched in sweat. I didn't want to wake Keith up, but I knew that, according to some of my old classmates, rumour had it that Omegas could _die_ from unsatisfied heats. From just lying there, with my heart pounding against my chest so hard I could feel it making my body convulse, and the hot, throbbing, sticky mess in my underwear, I knew I wasn't going to last long. Keith had his back to me, which only made things worse.

It was unbearable. His scent was driving me insane. I didn't _want_ to wake him up, but I knew I had to. I curled up and wrapped my trembling arms around his waist, nestling my nose in the sensitive area of his neck. I couldn't resist. I was making it worse and every inhale brought on more warm tingles that spread and scattered like excited embers in my brain. I began to sink my teeth into his shoulder to try and wake him up. My tongue traced along the gland in his neck, drawing a slick line up to his earlobe. He stirred, and my heart hammered with hope, until he settled back into sleep again.

I whined into his muscular back in sheer defeat, involuntarily bucking and grinding my hips against his backside. I sucked on his skin to stifle myself, knowing he'd wonder what the hell was wrong with me - but the result would be so worth it. I didn't know what time it was, and I didn't care. All I felt was an overwhelming need for him to be inside me, to feel his teeth scrape against the swollen gland in my neck; I had such a demand to be bonded with and I couldn't wait to get the mark to show it off. To show _him_ off. Keith was the best thing that ever happened to me and I didn't care who saw his teeth marks permanently scarring my neck.

Finally, after almost drawing blood with a bite harder than I intended, Keith rolled over and met my needy, desperate eyes. He blinked tiredly, before realising the amount of sweat that made the pillow sodden, and how my thighs were clenching, the slick in my underwear making me feel drenched. I felt dirty. And I didn't care how Keith treated me at all. I was so desperate for it.

"Already?" he murmured. I nodded quickly, a small gasp escaping my quivering lips as he set himself on top of me to peel away the offending garment. " _Shit_ , Lance, really?"

"I-I'm sorry," I swallowed, biting my lip, feeling my chest heave. I could tell my scent was bothering him in more ways than one, and none of them were negative. "I've never had a proper heat -"

"I know, it's okay," Keith smirked, tossing the underwear off the bed. I whined at the cold, winter contact, biting something bitter at my exposed, wet thighs. I was surprised he caught on so quickly, but then again, I was helplessly gazing at his tight briefs and missing how thick he was. I never knew how much of a slut I was for it. "What would you like me to do?"

"Is that a trick question?" I breathed, letting out a quivering moan as two digits slid in easily. "Please, Keith..."

Keith hummed in content, adding another finger to stretch me open. It wasn't like I needed it. The amount of arousal circulating through my body was enough to relax all the muscles in my body. He was taking too long. I was going insane. I curled my fingers in the sheets, feeling sweat pour down my forehead.

"Just fuck me." I gritted. "You never take this long."

Keith raised an eyebrow while he tossed his own underwear onto the floor, and I almost moaned in relief when I saw how hard he was. I couldn't help it. I bucked my hips. I shuffled closer. Anything to get it rough and hard enough to make me come multiple times. His grey-purple eyes were wild, dripping with lust, but as soon as he was directly on my chest, he was hesitant.

"What?" I panted. I could feel him there. "What is it?"

"I'm scared of hurting you," he swallowed. "I hate seeing you upset."

I relaxed my tone for a minute. Keith really did care, and although I was below him almost _begging_ for it, I had to make him understand that I was going to be fine.

"Hey," I breathed, widening my legs further, taking his cock in my hand. I almost groaned. It had been so long. "I won't break. I promise. I'll be okay."

Keith bit his lip as I guided him in, his eyelids slowly fluttering shut. I had him. Finally. All concern on his face diminished completely and I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling his arms wrap around me. I secured my legs around his waist and dug my fingernails into his back as I felt him throb in me; every single nerve was alight and I was so thankful we had our own place. I was going to be louder than anything.

"And you're sure you want to bond?" he whispered, preparing the gland in my neck with a few kisses, his hips slowly rolling, making me shudder with pleasure. Just feeling him in there caused my fingernails to dig into his skin. I nodded quickly. "Okay. I'm assuming you want none of this gentle business."

I shook my head, and Keith smirked darkly.

"If you say so."

He didn't hesitate at all when it came to his animalistic, pounding thrusts that had me screaming in seconds, my legs squeezing him harder and my nails raking across his pale skin, making rows upon rows of red. My back formed a perfect arc, my head slammed against the pillow, and the whimpers of ecstasy that escaped my needy lips never seemed to stop. I was helpless beneath him. He was so big and thick and _full_ that I couldn't help but be as loud as possible. It was impossible not to. Keith stifled his own loud whines of pleasure by sinking his teeth into my shoulder, sucking on my skin, leaving no area unmarked. I was his and he was making sure I knew who I belonged to.

I lost count of how many times I'd yelled his name. My hands moved to both the sheets and his hair as I tugged and pulled, tears threatening my eyes because it felt so _good_ , and when they started falling I was hoping to _hell_ that Keith wouldn't see because _I didn't want him to stop._

"Whoa," Keith panted, ceasing his rough pace. _Fuck you._ "Lance? Are you -"

"Yes!" I yelled. "Fucking yes, don't stop, _please -!"_

"Are you sure- _hey!"_

In the end, I shoved him onto the mattress and did the dirty work myself, riding him like I was made for it. I had to have it deeper. Faster. Harder. Nothing was ever enough and the neverending pleasure had me fidgeting. Keith's fingernails dug into my ass as he slammed into me straight up, with my hard bounces matching his wild rhythm. His eyes squeezed shut and suddenly I became more sensitive than I'd ever felt before, trembling against him as he fucked me through my first orgasm, and I released on his chest in quick bursts. I could barely hold myself up but I still wanted more. My throat was sore from screaming already and I felt myself melt when I noticed Keith's daring grin. His rhythm never stopped.

"Already?" he breathed. I nodded. And I wasn't going to stop anytime soon. "You're such a slut."

I purred at his statement, pressing myself deeper onto him. He did the job himself and drove his thrusts further. The look he gave me when I moaned was enough to almost send me over the edge again.

"Let me hear more," he hummed, lifting me off. "Get on your hands and knees and beg like the slut you are."

I scrambled to the position he needed me in. I adored it a little too much when his tone was so filthy it had me quivering. I felt so vulnerable and even dropped to my elbows, raising my rump for him to toy with it. He could do whatever he pleased and I'd still be satisfied with my heat. I didn't care what he did or how he did it, I just wanted it now.

Keith gave my ass a harsh slap, and I yelped in surprise, which then turned into a low, drawn out moan of elation as his tongue lapped and circled around my entrance. I had to beg. I wasn't going to get that rough pace he maintained beforehand if I didn't. I just didn't want to lose the feeling I was experiencing then. I looked back at his eyes, lidded with concentration, his fingers pressing into the sore skin of my backside as he licked ever evidence of my arousal away. That wasn't going to last long.

"Please, Keith," I moaned, his tongue getting erratic. "Fuck, I need you."

"Louder." Keith murmured, slipping a finger inside. I threw my head back and panted so hard I felt dizzy.

"Please!" I whimpered. "Please, please, _fuck,_ stop teasing me!"

Then, his fingers curled in my hair and my head was torn backwards, his cock slamming inside at such a quick rate I was coming all over again and the only sounds I made were incoherent moans and sobs of pleasure. Keith hummed in amusement, my back bowing as he pulled my hair. I let my body convulse. I was so sensitive and Keith didn't continue until he knew I was done. Then, with my legs trembling, he pounded quick and hard, the sting of my hair being pulled only emphasising the pleasure ricocheting through my spine. All I could muster was whimpers of his name and loud moans. Nothing was comprehensible and I didn't think Keith even cared.

My fingers curled in the sheets. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as Keith fucked every sober sense out of me. There was no doubt I was his. No way. I knew he was pouring as much love and lust he had in him into all of this. When he was bored of gripping my hair, he shifted himself on top of me and secured one arm around my chest, one arm around my waist. He reached deeper than before, his moans stifled in my shoulder. He maintained his hard pace, and it never ceased, either.

"I love it when you scream for me, Lance," he murmured, his pace slowing into just hard hip-snaps. My head was still tilted back, my lips parted in a soft moan. "I wonder how many times I can make you come."

He gripped me harder and rolled to the left so I was lying against his chest, my twitching, leaking cock in his hand. All we were doing was rolling around aimlessly. Nothing had a rhythm. We were both desperate and needy and when Keith's teeth sunk into my neck again with his hand stroking me at a pace I didn't even know he was capable of, my voice cracked as a moan slipped past my lips. I was so sensitive there.

"You're going to tell me when you're about to come," he moaned, still shifting gently inside of me. My legs were as wide as I could get them. "Understand?"

"Mhm," I whimpered, his other hand making it to my face. He slid in a couple of fingers and pressed my tongue down, before I began sucking them with as much ardor as I could. I had to breathe hard out of my nose. I was going to come again. "K-Keith -"

His fingers connected to my tongue with a thick string of saliva. The pace he kept on my aching cock was enough to make the moan of his name turn in a scream.

"Keith, _Keith,"_ I whined. "K-Keith, you're gonna make me come!"

Even when I did, I never felt as if it was enough. Another bruise was sucked slightly painfully onto my shoulder as Keith felt me convulse around him. I was covered in my own slick, cum, and sweat. Keith set me in the position we began with and gave my forehead a tender, reassuring kiss, ensuring that I calmed down before he continued. This time, he grabbed the metal railing of the headboard, his muscles flexing and _boy_ did I cherish the view, using his handle to snap his hips even _deeper._ His amethyst eyes were still loving and trusting in every single way, despite his gorgeous, pleased expression, and his pinkish lips that hung open to let out a few small moans of my name. We still hadn't tried the bite, and I was waiting for his approval.

Keith soon let go of the headboard and nestled his nose into my hot, flushing neck. It was _happening_ and I couldn't stop squirming in pleasure beneath him because I was so eager for it to happen. For him to come. His hot breath moistened the skin just above my swollen gland, and I groaned in defeat.

"I'm close," he panted, his arms wrapping around me tightly. "A-Are you sure you're ready?"

I nodded quickly, baring my neck as his thrusts became erratic and rough, clumsily slamming into me as he felt his orgasm come crawling closer. He positioned his mouth over my gland, teeth bared, and I bit my lip in case it hurt.

"Did you want to do it to me too?" he breathed. "It'll be hard to angle your neck but I know you can do it."

"I think I can reach," I swallowed, my chest heaving against his, angling my mouth over his gland. "Yeah."

Keith exhaled slowly. "Okay."

I forgot to clamp my teeth over his gland as he sank his into mine, purely because his hips snapped and stilled inside of me so roughly it caused another orgasm to rip through my body. But as I felt the bond form, and Keith's teeth dug deeper, I trembled against his body in such an embarrassing amount of pleasure, I thought I was going to cry. It felt like I was falling in love all over again. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I soon leaned forward and bit into his neck, supplying the same loving, comforting pressure he did.

Keith's eyes slid shut, a low moan escaping his lips, as well as mine, as he came in quick, hard bursts. With a grunt of pleasure, feeling the sudden stretch of his knot, I felt his cheeks get wetter, and while the waves of pleasure washed over us like the gentle tide at the beach back home, we held each oher in silence, wanting to relish this feeling for as long as possible. My mind felt clearer. It stung slightly, but the pain was blurred out by the euphoria hammering in my heart. Everything seemed to cease, including the symptoms from my heat. I didn't even think that was possible.

"I'm glad we did that," he whispered, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I'm sorry I made you cry."

"We're both crying!" I chuckled tiredly. "Did that bite finish my heat early?"

Keith pulled out slowly once his knot softened, and we shimmied back under the covers, ignoring the mess on the far side.

"There's a possibility," he yawned. "But you need all your energy back, so try and sleep."

"I will," I whispered. "Thank you for waking up."

Keith grinned, planting a kiss on my forehead, his eyes closed. I looked at the deep bite mark around his scent gland, and I smiled, knowing that was going to be there for a while. Forever, even. And I had one exactly like that, meaning I only had to do one more thing.

I could finally take out the most important thing in the room, concealed within the drawer of our nightstand. I just had to wait for the right time, and I knew Keith would be just as happy. He had crashed back into slumber again, and I gratefully shuffled closer to him, feeling his arms tug me closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at these happy bois


	66. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a surprise for Keith.

Exhilaration was all I felt. After a good morning shower, just like the one back at the Tribute's quarters, I ruffled my hair with the fluffiest cream towel, gazing softly at the new mark on my neck. It was still glowing red, just like the scratches all over my back. It'd heal soon and become a proper scar, much like the ones I'd earned from the Games, but this time, it'd just remind me of a relationship I'd thought I'd never have, ever. And I was so grateful, too. 

Coming out of the bathroom, once I'd thrown on one of his shirts, the scent of both bacon and pancakes wafted into my nose and I darted downstairs immediately to greet Lance, who was wearing one of my sweaters, the morning sun accentuating both the muscles and scars on his long, caramel legs. No wonder the bed felt a little empty this morning. He had the stereo turned on, humming along quietly. There were two mugs on the table, along with two empty plates, and a vase with a purple rose delicately placed inside. The bite on his neck was visible, and warmed my heart as soon as I laid my eyes on it. I approached him slowly and wrapped my arms around his waist, tip-toeing to give the nape of his neck a kiss.

"Good morning," I mumbled, burying my face into his back. Despite it being my sweater, it smelled thoroughly of him. "How's your heat?"

"Gone," Lance transferred a stack of pancakes to the table and I hopped up onto the counter, watching the bacon in the pan spit. He then grabbed a separate plate to put it on. "I think the bite must have done something."

"Do you..." I scratched the back of my neck, watching him place the bacon on the table, before sauntering over and planting his palms on the counter, situating himself between my legs, and leaning in close. "Do you regret the bite?"

"Not at all," he stooped a little lower so we were eye level. "Why?"

"I still can't believe you'd want me, of all people," I swallowed. His eyes were so blue and trusting. It reminded me of the kitten, and soon enough, the little fluffy bundle of mischief came bounding into the room, snaking in between Lance's slender ankles. "I mean, Omega or not. You deserve better. I'm covered in scars and bruises and I've been so selfish and -"

 _"Hey,_ hey," Lance murmured, picking me up from the counter. I snaked my arms around his neck and locked my legs around his waist. I just wanted to ensure that he'd made the right decision. I tried so hard to change and I thought I did my best, but it was all coming back now that we'd made a commitment. I avoided eye contact and buried my nose into his shoulder. "You're- Keith, look at me."

I lifted my head and bit my lip, gazing anywhere but him.

"Look at me." Lance repeated. I swallowed hard and looked solemnly into his trusting eyes. "You're perfect. I promise. You know how scared I was to be around Alphas during the Games. I trust you with everything. I don't regret the bite at all. In fact, you'd better eat breakfast soon, I'm taking you out somewhere."

"If you say so," I accepted his good-morning kiss and let him put me down so I could sit at the table. With a small squeeze of his backside as he walked to the other side, I laughed as Blue hopped up onto the table. "Have you fed him this morning?"

"Yeah," Lance smirked. "Ignore his crying. He's been fed."

It was still slightly cold, and the frost on the window only further emphasised the winter spirit outside. Christmas in Twelve was always solemn, but since I was capable of getting gifts for more than one person, I felt better about it. I could look forward to it. The snow wasn't as much as a burden any more and I enjoyed watching it fall from our kitchen window. I bit hungrily into the small stack of pancake that i'd accumulated on my fork, letting the taste unfold on my tongue. Lance looked at me expectantly, searching me for an answer.

"Did your mom teach you how to cook?" I devoured the rest of the stack on my plate. They were better than anything I could make. Even better than the Capitol's breakfast. Lance nodded bashfully. 

"Do you like it?" he asked, and I nodded quickly. Relief washed over his face. "I'd always wanted to do something like this. And I cook for my family since everyone's out working all the time, so."

I smiled at him, and his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. "I love it when you smile," he muttered.

As we both finished our breakfast, I was intrigued about the rest of the day and where Lance was taking me. We were still new to the Capitol, and we got lost around the huge city centre when we went shopping for cat supplies, so I wondered if he knew where he was going. We dumped our cutlery and plates in the dishwasher before dashing upstairs, hearing Blue's bell jingle behind us. We'd turn on the dishwasher later.

"Where are we going?" I asked, pulling out an outfit that thankfully was  _not_ a bodysuit. They'd tailored to my size and favourite colours, and some of the labels had Hunk's embroidered print embedded within them. Then, I knew, that whatever I wore, I'd probably never be self-conscious about how I looked like again. The outfit consisted of a pair of navy jeans and a sweater. A scarf, much like Pidge's, was hung up there too. Lance's closet was right beside mine, and they'd matched our District colours along with a few Altean ones.

"It's a secret," Lance smirked, fastening a belt around his waist. "Is your closet full of winter clothes too?"

"Well, yeah, it is winter."

He slid his feet into a pair of shoes while I sat on the bed and did the same, taking extra precaution not to accidentally elbow Blue in the nose as he swatted at my shoelaces. Once we were ready, I slung the scarf around my neck, Lance pulled on some gloves, and we walked outside where a car was waiting for us. Suddenly, I was even more curious.

"I'm gonna have to make you wear this," he secured a cloth around my eyes as I adjusted my seatbelt. I started to giggle.

"Lance, this is so secretive, you're killing me."

"We're gonna have fun," he giggled too, intertwining his gloved hands with my cold ones. The car started running. "I promise, this isn't a kidnapping."

I had no idea where we were going, but it was comforting to hear Lance hum along to the music on the radio, and the scent of the cherry freshener in the car masked out the new leather smell. The journey took a while, it seemed, and I had no concept of time because I couldn't see. All I knew was that the car was still running, we were still on the road, and the excited bouncing of Lance's leg was making me feel anticipated. 

Finally, the car stopped smoothly and I was led out by Lance's hand. He thanked the driver and I clasped his hand tighter as we walked,  _somewhere_ , down a path, I assumed. I could hear a low, cosy ambience, as well as the slight crunch of the snow beneath my feet. The bitter cold made my nose numb, despite retreating into my scarf. Soon, we were out of the cold, and my shoes touched a hard surface, the echo of the clicking heel resonating from all the corners of the room we stood in.

"You managed to blindfold him, then," I heard a familiar voice chortle. "I'd never thought Keith would have let you."

"Yeah," Lance laughed. "Where are we sitting?"

"We're all the way up where the balcony is," the voice replied. "It's not a far walk but this place doesn't have an elevator, and you can't really spoil the surprise for Keith."

It was hard getting upstairs. Wherever we were, there were flights upon flights of stairs to climb, and I was surprised I didn't trip. Lance held my hand all the way, and as we approached the destination I heard music. Violins. A piano played quietly in the corner. My shoes touched carpet and Lance squeezed my hand to stop me from walking. The voice that replied earlier began talking again, along with a shrill female one, and then we were walking somewhere else.

I was so confused.

Finally, the blindfold was peeled from my eyes and I was staring at a table situated by a tall window overlooking the glistening city, decorated with tiny crystals, the champagne glasses encrusted with amethyst. Napkins folded into swans sat elegantly on the pristine, gold-rimmed white plates. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I was astounded. Lance glided over bashfully, his hands clasping the golden knobs on the back of the chair.

"We've never done anything like this before," he shrugged. "And all we know is that we can fight people, you do knives and I can wield a trident, so I guess this is a date? Maybe?"

I bit my lip to suppress the gigantic smile bubbling up inside. My cheeks grew hot, contrasting against the cold outside. 

"And we've bonded," Lance pulled out the chair and I sat down. He planted a kiss on my head. "And I know you're the one who's supposed to be making plans and stuff, but I wanted to flip that around. "With the money we've won, I thought, why not?"

He sat down opposite me and took off his gloves. Matt was sat with his sister and Shiro on a table across the room, and he looked up to give me a wave. I grinned back, and Pidge turned around, hopping up to greet the both of us. She'd had her hair cut into a messy undercut and it suited her so well, I thought she was a completely different person already.

"Whoa," Lance reached across the table to hold my hands. "Nice hair!"

"Thanks," Pidge snorted, running her hands through it. It looked incredibly fluffy. One side was longer than the other. Her cheeks still had evidence of purple freckles, and there were a few scars underneath her ears. She'd also managed to get piercings done, including one on her cartilage, another on her earlobe. "We just went wild in the city, found a tattoo and piercing shop, and got a couple things done. Matt got a lip piercing on his bottom lip, it's usually a black ring, but he's wearing a clear one because apparently facial piercings aren't allowed in the castle."

She was holding a small laptop in her arms. It was white, and riddled with stickers. 

"Nice bond bites," she grinned. "Are they fresh?"

I nodded, holding her outstretched hand. "Lance couldn't wait and now we're here. And you too, by the looks of things."

"Yeah, my parents are sorting out Christmas decorations back at home so we decided to get out of their hair," Pidge nodded, giving Lance's hand a squeeze. "How's your healing going? I found a purple birthmark-looking thing on my neck the other day. It's not harmful, but I think it's just the aftermath."

"I think we're doing good," Lance replied. "Nightmares are just side-effects, right?"

We all shared the same look, nodding in a melancholy agreement. "I know what you mean," she huffed. "Last night I woke up to Matt screaming at the top of his lungs and he's twenty-two. It's horrible."

"Oh? How was his birthday?" I asked. Pidge rolled her eyes.

"He had Shiro stay the night," she tapped her nails against the laptop lid. "Lots of alcohol. Lots of loud pounding noises at around three in the morning."

"Three in the morning?" Lance smirked. "And what were you doing at three in the morning?"

"Booting up my new laptop, buying accessories," she rocked back and forth on her heels. "Anyway, I'm going back to the table, it was nice seeing you."

We waved her goodbye and Lance giggled. Matt had a lip piercing. It seemed so absurd and out of place but I favoured Pidge's ear piercings more. We ordered our food and occasionally heard Matt's laughter from across the room, but we had our eyes on the city below, watching the cars travel in the snow. Lance squeezed my hands, sighing happily.

"So," Lance began, taking a small sip of his champagne. "You went to school, right?"

I nodded. 

"What was your favourite subject? What were you good at?" he placed the glass on the table and I laughed a little bit. He was trying his best and it was so cute.

"Hm," I thought, tapping my fingers against the back of his hands. I couldn't think that far back. "I was a pain in the ass at school but I think I really enjoyed art classes. Maybe science? I don't know."

"Science?" Lance nodded. "I think I can agree with that. When's your birthday?"

"October twenty-third," I thought for a moment. "Oh my God, I think I've missed my own birthday."

Lance's eyes widened. "How long were we in the Games for? Shit, Keith! Are you sure?"

I had my birthday before the reaping. I was sure. Quite sure, anyway. I turned nineteen this year.

"No, I think I went out with my dad," I tapped my finger against my bottom lip. "Don't worry, I've had a birthday this year. When's yours?"

"July twenty-eighth," he hummed, letting go of my hands so the waiter could serve our food. 

"Oh, you must've been one of the babies in your year," I chuckled. "Man, that's cute."

"All my classmates baked me a cake once and I was so happy," he laughed, picking up his fork. "Then my older brother Dylan smashed it to pieces. I didn't talk to him for a week."

"How old were you?" I asked, with a mouthful of food. The afternoon sun was slowly turning into an evening glow. 

"Twelve," Lance smirked. I looked at him pitifully. "I'm still mad at him for that."

"Hel-lo, gentlemen," Matt sauntered up to us. "Sorry to interrupt. How are you?"

I waited until I'd swallowed my food. "Good? I think?"

"I see those bites," Matt winked at Lance. "Good job."

Lance grinned right back. They seemed to have a plan of some sort. I could definitely see evidence of Matt's piercing because the clear ring was so embedded into his lip, it wasn't hard to distinguish what was piercing and what wasn't.

"Your sister said you've been experiencing nightmares," I said. Matt shrugged.

"Yeah, but," he shoved his hands into his pockets. "It's never been as bad as what she's going through. Katie's never had an anxiety attack before. She has trouble sleeping. You didn't hear it from me because my parents don't know, but I caught her in the middle of the night taking alcohol out of the refrigerator. I might refer her to a counsellor, I'm worried about her."

"Shit," Lance murmured, his brow furrowing. 

Matt nodded. "Shiro said he drank to forget once. I guess it's kind of taken a toll on all of us."

We all looked at Pidge and Shiro who were currently laughing along to their own jokes, almost spitting out their champagne and choking because they were giggling so much. It didn't seem as if they had any inner demons at all, but then again, I kept having nightmares about Lance's fake death. That will always terrify me, no matter what. But he was alive, and we were bonded, so it wasn't like we were going to lose each other anytime soon.

"On a lighter note," Matt hummed. "The Capitol has recognised you two as the sweethearts from this years' Games. Red, blue, and purple are the most favoured colours. And you know how mates go in the Capitol, right? The weddings are huge, you're guaranteed to have plenty of guests turn up if you do plan on getting married, which is somewhat a custom if you're a couple in the Games. You get special treatment."

"I'll keep that in mind," I noticed Lance's leg was bouncing again. 

"I'll see you both later," he waved, and walked back to his table.

Since we woke up late this morning, we took our time eating our meal until the sun began to set. Pidge, Matt and Shiro had disappeared from their table and it was being cleaned by an Altean waiter. When we were done, Lance gently clasped my hand and led me further up some more stairs until we reached an open roof. It was like an open penthouse, with the upper spikes of the castle towering over us, glistening with both the evening sun and frost. A stretch of water, much like a swimming pool, calmly rippled away, riddled with purple petals. The sky had melted into an array of pinks and purples.

"Turn around," Lance grinned, and so I did. Whatever he was planning, I didn't want to spoil it. I kept my cold hands in my pockets and waited for his cue. "Just a few more seconds!"

I heard rustling, and the quick scattering footsteps of other people, before finally, I was asked to turn around. It had been transformed entirely - small purple rose bushes hung like bunting along the walls. Small candles floated, the flame blue with Altean essence, along the water. There was a small pathway in the middle, and Lance was stood at the end, along with Pidge, Matt, and Shiro, their arms held behind their back. With my heart pounding, I was totally unsure what was going on. Hell, I thought I was too nervous to move.

Eventually, I did, and I walked all the way over with my hands in my pockets, avoiding any eye contact. I'd never been so shy. His smile was the softest I'd ever seen, and the soft, orange rays of the sun made the rest of him glitter. 

"I know this is really absurd and you're probably thinking what the fuck is going on," Lance laughed. "And I know I've never been good at talking about feelings. You know that, I-I - we're both as bad as each other."

I smirked. "Yeah, I can understand that."

"And I'd never thought it'd be you, I mean, you're probably the best person I've ever met, I've never cared for someone so much," Lance swallowed. He looked like he was going to cry. "Even my mom would say I'd have someone to experience a 'forever' with and I'd never known what she meant..."

It wasn't until he got down on one knee, my body started to quake, and I had to hold my hands in front of my mouth to hide the elated shock spreading across my lips. This was happening. This was happening and I was so afraid I was going to fuck something up, or make him upset, I just had to relax but  _Keith when have you ever relaxed --_

"So I was wondering," he exhaled slowly, his nervous, blue eyes searching mine. He opened up a small white ring box, and in there sat a platinum-band ring, an amethyst glinting in the light of the sunset. On either side, embedded within the band, sat two more gemstones - a sapphire on the left, and a ruby on the right. "K-Keith, will you be my forever?"

It was as if time stopped. My heart leaped into my throat and I couldn't stop gazing at the ring sitting expectantly in the box, waiting for me to take it. But this was his decision. He wanted  _me_ , and only me, and suddenly, I was almost crying all over again. I couldn't bring myself to say the answer, merely because if I opened my mouth, I'd burst into tears. He was waiting too long for an answer, and that really wasn't fair. 

"Of course," I croaked, and I smiled my hardest since forever as Lance stared up at me in shock, his eyes glistening with tears. With trembling hands, he slid the ring onto my cold finger.

"R-Really?" Lance hiccuped. "I'd never thought you'd -"

His speech turned into ecstatic giggles as he lifted me and span me in a circle, and I secured my legs around him as tightly as possible, watching his smile get even wider. The trio behind Lance applauded quietly, and I was sure I saw Pidge wiping her cheek out of the corner of my eye. Nonetheless, I was crying out of pure joy, because suddenly there was  _another_ bond forming, and the ring on my finger was prettier than anything, and just feeling Lance's forehead touch mine as we laughed like loved-up idiots at one another made me feel so special.

Right when I was supposed to be getting down before I made Lance's arms sore, fireworks boomed overhead and Shiro's proud grin was so obvious that he'd planned it. It seemed as if he'd given in, seeing as he'd gotten into a relationship himself. Lance and I gazed at the ever-approaching night, watching fireworks glitter the air, our cheeks cold and tearstained.

Finally, Lance put me down and held me as close as possible. I'd never thought I'd be able to feel this happy, to feel  _this_ loved, in all my life. With a smile wider than anything, I buried my face into his chest, one hand scrunching his shirt in my fist and the other loosely gripping his chocolate locks, hearing his heart against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <33


	67. Nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altean weddings are daunting.

At around midnight, the snowfall grew more and more erratic, and Lance and I were inside, on the couch, underneath a blanket, clutching hot mugs of cocoa. We were watching the television with tired, weary eyes, and I caught Lance drifting off because suddenly his chin felt heavier on my head. His silver hair was receding, and so were his night terrors. He managed to get a duplicate of the ring he proposed to me with, and now we were both holding hands, gently caressing one another's ring fingers, feeling the smooth, silk texture of the metal.

Lance's chest was warm. His scars felt like velvet under my fingers, and scarily, they were still a grim reminder of what we went through. We had each other now, and we'd experienced it over and over again. He was even dragged away from me. I still found it hard to believe that he was right there with me. Delicately, his chest rose and fell, his tired breaths blowing my hair about. Wedding rehearsals were very droning, but we learned many, many new things about Altean weddings that we didn't even know existed.

Omegas approached the altar first. Alphas stood at the front. It was daunting standing in front large, gold-rimmed white flags that hung from the ceiling, purple petals scattered all over the floor, and hearing Lotor's voice trill again and again. Lance's legs were sore from walking everywhere. Hunk was there to organise outfits, especially Pidge's, and although she wasn't keen on having everything styled, she chose her own hairstyle, and the colours she wanted plastered on her face. We were supposed to go outfit shopping tomorrow, but to be honest, I just wanted to stay in bed.

_"...District Twelve's Keith Kogane and District Four's Lance McClain, ladies and gentlemen, are expecting to be married on Christmas Eve, in Alfor's castle! Now, isn't that just true love?"_

"It's like they've ignored everything we went through," Lance murmured, his lips against my forehead, reaching down to squeeze my backside.

"I know what you mean," I yawned, kissing his sternum. "But as long as you're happy."

"I am," he hummed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "We have some busy days in the next couple of weeks, I mean, after we're married, we're at the Holts' for Christmas."

I nodded. "We're going to be so hung over."

Lance laughed quietly.

After that, we dumped our empty mugs in the kitchen and carried the blanket upstairs, draping it over our sheets. I began to love sharing blankets and beds with Lance. I'd never had anything like it before, and although I was never  _allowed_ to lie with him, I always knew he was warm. He seemed to be warm all the time and that only gave me more benefits, because somehow, the majority of the time, my hands were ice cubes. He crawled into bed, yanking me in with him, and I took my place on his chest again, staring softly at the ring on my finger.

"I hope you like it," he muttered, his fingernails soothingly scratching against my scalp. "It's why I was working. I really wanted to get us a custom one, and I didn't want to blow all my winnings, either."

"I love it," I whispered, kissing his cheek. "Really. I do."

"I've always really loved the colour of your eyes," he smiled, his eyelids drooping. Lance often muttered sweet nothings when he was tired. "They're really pretty."

I hummed against his chest. "You're getting soft."

"Don't care," he yawned, tugging me closer, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I'm always soft."

I couldn't argue with that. His cobalt eyes looked a calm, granite grey in the dark, gazing at me with so much sleepy ardour I felt my entire body melt. They still made my heart sing, after countless times staring at his blue outfit during the Games, knowing he'd probably never suit another colour just as well. His lips were curved into a soft smile, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"You suit freckles," he whispered. 

"You suit me."

Lance winked. "Smooth."

Sleeping beside him was also one of my most favourite things. If he had a nightmare, he'd squeeze me awake. As for me, Lance mentioned that I thrashed and twitched whenever I experienced night terrors, and he usually made sure to wake me up before I'd wake the kitten with how hard I was breathing. We had such a strong, trustful bond. We depended on one another, much like when we were in the arena. And I didn't want it any other way.

The next day, Lance was with Hunk picking out his tuxedo, and I was sat on a leather couch along with Matt and Shiro, waiting for Pidge to pick out dresses. She kicked up such a fuss, but I couldn't blame her. It was a hassle, and we'd been sat there for at least an hour, because she kept being given outfits that were completely out of her mindset. And she told the stylists, time and time again, that she  _hated_ long dresses ever since the Games happened.

She stood holding the curtain to her dressing room open, leaning against the wall, her arms folded. I couldn't help but let my mind wander. Lance couldn't pick the same tux I chose. I hoped not, anyway. We'd look odd on our wedding day.

I was so nervous. So, so nervous. Going to rehearsals was bad enough that even then I felt butterflies rush around in my stomach. My leg bounced, I twisted the ring on my finger, and I couldn't look anywhere else but the television as mine and Lance's faces were shown. They kept reminding the entire Capitol about his death and every time it came up, I had to block it out. It wasn't romantic at all. It was torture. I was fed up of hearing about him being taken away from me, and apparently, it made him 'heroic.'

"Keith?" Pidge cocked her head sideways. "You okay?"

"Mm," I shrugged. "Nerves."

She seemed to read my mind, and instantly turned off the television so I didn't have to listen to their nonsense any more. Surely they'd be a little more understanding, but apparently all that mattered was that I was selfish, Lance had 'made me soft,' and he was a model icon that the Capitol fashion industry wanted because of his figure. He declined. Multiple times.

Pidge walked over and placed herself in the small space between her brother and I, lazily wrapping an arm around my shoulder and tugging me into her side. Matt groaned and moved, leaning lazily against Shiro.

"You're gonna be fine." Pidge rubbed her knuckles into my head. "You'll make me cry, we'll eat Capitol food, and you're gonna make hot love on your wedding night, and to be honest, I wished I had that opportunity, Kogane."

I smirked. "We can't do too much that night, we have to save energy for Christmas."

"Ah." Pidge tapped her finger against her lip. "Just have fun, Keith, weddings aren't all formal, y'know."

"Yeah," Matt leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "Mom told us she had a chocolate fountain at her wedding and it got all over her dress."

I gasped. "Oh my God, really?"

"She still has the dress," he nodded. "But seriously, Keith, it's going to be a huge party. The ceremony is around ten percent of the entire marriage and you still have the blissful aftermath afterwards."

"True," I sighed. "I think it's just overwhelming."

Pidge picked up my hand and held it in hers, her other one lifting my ring finger, twisting it slightly so the gems glittered in the light. 

"You're so lucky to have Lance," she muttered. "I'm hoping your wedding is a success."

"I hope so too," I laughed nervously, and she was whisked away, sighing in relief as she picked up a dress that came above her knee. Finally, she was satisfied, and as we waited for her, Matt was discussing his parents' wedding.

"Apparently, my dad got so drunk on his wedding night, he forgot he married my mom," Matt smirked. "I mean, he was still happy. They've had the power plant for years. When I was around ten and Katie was six, they took us round to the plant and showed us how they powered Altea."

"So you've both been in the electricity business for years?" I questioned, hearing Pidge's clutter in her dressing room. Matt nodded.

"Katie can solve logic problems. She's so smart, sometimes I forget she's younger than me," he laughed. "But yeah, we sometimes help our parents. Of course it's not the real, risky work, but we do tend to fiddle with circuits. Once, I accidentally plugged out the entire supply of District Five, and I was grounded for two weeks."

"I had to fix that," Pidge emerged from her dressing room, her glasses upon her head. The dress was elegant, and still managed to captivate her rougher features. The straps hung off her shoulder. The front of the skirt was shorter than the back. "Is this okay? I feel cold."

I stared at the rich purple colour and the nerves came crawling back. To think she'd be standing behind the altar, clutching a bouquet of purple flowers, all because of  _my_ wedding.

"You ask me, Kate," Matt crossed his legs. "I think it's fine."

She wore heels, adorned with red and purple roses. I took a deep breath, knowing that she was staring at me for my confirmation.

"It's pretty," I nodded. I had to sit on my hands because they were shaking so much. "Are you happy with that?"

"I think so," Pidge sighed in relief. "Okay, can we go now? I'm fucking freezing."

I nodded. It was a breath of fresh air to finally get out of an environment that wasn't adorned with the colour purple. Pidge paid for her dress and shoes, and it was placed within a plastic protective sleeve to prevent it from tearing. I had a suit in one of those back at my dressing room. Shit, I was never good with formal events. The catwalk and interviews were bad enough, and now I had to stand in front of the Capitol and perform a wedding ceremony.

Now it was a lot more daunting than I thought it was.

We managed to meet up with Lance in a small cafe, and again, the televisions were broadcasting our wedding plans like it was everybody's business. We got a few excited looks as we ordered drinks and tried to sit somewhere quiet, but whenever we tried to talk to one another, we were interrupted by fans of this years' Games. And they weren't so heartfelt, either. Lance had his hair felt through by a girl who was far too excited to see us, and was too fond of the silver streaks within his chocolate locks. Pidge had the remainder of her purple skin pointed out; she was ridiculed quite a lot, which only led to her brother and Shiro defending her. It was awful, however, there were a few older people who stopped to say hello without any means of wanting to touch us.

"Hello," an older woman approached us, her skin a pale lilac colour, her indigo hair hanging over her eyes. "I'm Acxa, one of the higher Gamemakers, you all look so different."

Pidge bit her lip, expecting some sort of comment, but as soon as she looked up, there was a slight fondness in her eyes. "You look like you belong with Lotor."

"I do," Acxa nodded. "But I was way within the weapons organisation. I had no input from the control panel, although I did visit once."

Lance clutched my hand underneath the table, his palm warm from holding his mug.

"Are you attending our wedding?" Lance asked. 

"I am," she tapped her fingers against the table. "Everyone associated with the Royals, either Altean or Galra, are expected to attend. Although, if you don't want me to, I have no opposition towards that."

"No, no," Lance laughed. "You're actually the first one to care, I guess?"

Acxa smirked. "To be honest, we haven't had a formal Altean wedding in years, and usually, couples getting married from the Games are treated like Royals. It may sound intimidating, but it's just like any other wedding."

I nodded. "It just feels a little weird."

"It will do," Acxa sighed. "But Lotor is more laid-back than you think. The ceremony will go smoothly, I promise."

I was still nervous. No amount of comfort could ever take my mind off the daunting amount of emotions relaying around in my head. After that, she bid us farewell, and we were left on our own at the table. 

"Both of you look terrified," Shiro smirked. "You'll be fine."

I felt Lance's hand quiver in mine, no matter how tight he held it. He was nervous too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahHHhh i feel like these chapters havent been great recently? im sorry omg
> 
> just a reminder that if you have any fanart or if you wanna say hi, i'm over on tumblr as pixelpearl <3


	68. Stylist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations take a while.

Before I went to see the stylists, I made a visit to both my parents' and Lance's family's places, just to keep my nerves at bay. I hadn't seen my parents for a while since we moved in and although it had been a little hectic, my parents settled in smoothly, and so did Lance's family. The Holt household was riddled with Christmas lights and a little tree out front, again, adorned with flashing fairy lights and unaccountable amounts of tinsel. My parents had decorations bought from the many stores in the Capitol.

They'd managed to put up photographs I'd never seen before, and my mother was happier than ever, which made me feel relaxed about our family again. She was healing well, and her hair was returning to its dark black-brown colour, still thrown up into a loose ponytail like it always was. It smelled like spices, probably from the candles burning around the house, and everywhere I looked there was some sort of wreath. It was pretty, and for once, I really liked what they did to the house.

Lance was in the living room, drinking from a hot mug of coffee my mother had given him to save him from the cold. My father was currently in the city, getting to know the atmosphere of the Capitol, which I was happy about. He had gotten used to it over the few weeks we'd been there. Even more so, my parents completely disagree with the press and how they're representing our marriage while disregarding our experiences within the Games - but luckily, we were promised a completely private life once it was over.

"I can't believe you're getting married," my mother sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I hope it all goes well for you."

"You sound unsure." I muttered, watching Lance place his mug on the counter. My mother shook her head with a smile.

"Lance is gorgeous," she trilled, and Lance stopped in his tracks to take a seat at the dining table. She smoothed her fingers through his hair, and I began to giggle a little bit. My mother used to love my friends no matter what. "Keith treats you right, doesn't he, honey?"

"I would hope so," Lance laughed. "Thank you for the coffee and everything, I appreciate it."

"Do you have enough clothes for the cold?" my mother asked. Lance nodded.

"Mom," I muttered. "Lance can take care of himself."

"I'm just making sure," she smirked. "Do you feel nervous for the ceremony later?"

Lance and I nodded, his foot tapping against the floor. We shared an amused look because we were both feeling the same thing. The bite on his neck had faded into a deep scar, and so had mine, by the feeling of it. The ceremony was late at night, around ten o'clock, and the party was supposed to be going on until four in the morning. We were going to be so exhausted, but Pidge said she'd let us crash at her place after it all happened, so it suddenly didn't feel so bad.

"We're gonna go say hi to Lance's family," I approached my mother and gave her a brief hug. "I'll see you later."

"Take care," she kissed my forehead. "Don't be late to your own wedding."

"I won't."

Lance threw on his coat and pulled on his gloves, and I hooked my arm around his, walking out into the snow. I closed the door behind me and gave my mother a final wave, before we made it to Lance's place, just down the road. He knocked confidently and his mother welcomed him inside almost instantly. I always enjoyed visiting his family. After kicking off the snow from his boots, Lance picked up a very excited Lola.

"Do you have your suit? Are you ready?" his mother patted the snow off his shoulder as Lance blew raspberries on his little sisters' cheek. "Make sure you're there early for the stylists -"

"I know, don't worry," Lance chuckled, passing Lola to me, and she immediately began playing with the hair hanging in front of my face. "Entertain Lola while I see if I have everything."

He dashed upstairs and I had Lola on my lap, tapping her cheeks and nose. I had everything in my dressing room back in the castle, and I wondered why Lance had his at home. It seemed slightly forgetful of him, but Altean weddings were usually very important, and I'd doubt he'd forget about his own outfit. His mother made sure I had something to eat and drink, and even though I politely declined, I was given a few cookies and a glass of water anyway.

"Are you marrying Lance?" she asked, playing with the buttons on my shirt. "Lance said I'm a purple princess."

"You are a purple princess," I giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Are you excited?"

Lola nodded. "My mama says you are Lancey's forever."

My cheeks flared, and Lance soon came down the stairs, clutching a black bag. I assumed that had his suit in. He sat beside me and took Lola off my lap, giving me time to come down the tiny euphoric high I was on. I still couldn't believe it. I was his forever.

"What've you been telling Keith, huh?" Lance bounced her on his knee, driving giggles out of her. "You're trouble, aren't you?"

His little sister grinned, nodding at him. "I wanna go back on Keef!"

"You can't, Keef is leaving," Lance set her on the floor and I finished the cookie I had in my mouth. "Are you gonna say bye?"

"Now?" Lola pouted, and I knelt on the floor to give her one last hug. She held onto me tightly, just like a toddler would, and I began to think how much fun it would've been if I had a little sibling. My mother mentioned that, if she recovered, they could try for another baby. But I would be living in a separate house, still recovering for the Games; Lance and I would make great babysitters and I didn't care how long I'd have to stay up for. "Bye-bye Keith!"

"Hey! You got it!" I grinned, tapping her nose. "I'll see you later, okay, purple princess?"

Lola waved to me happily, and Lance and I bid farewell to his mother as we walked out the door. There was already a car waiting for us, so Lance clutched his suit tight, the style completely unknown to me, and sat down. He looked ecstatic, however, I still noticed the nervousness in his eyes as the car set off. We were just about to head to the stylists to have everything done - makeup, hair, accessories, the whole treatment, just like we had before every event during the preparation of the Games.

My heart couldn't stop hammering in my chest. I was afraid I'd get something wrong, or say the wrong thing. I didn't want to ruin the night for both of us, even if it was our wedding, and Lance adored and trusted me with all his heart. He reached over and intertwined his fingers with mine, calming my quivering hands. He smiled softly, reassuringly, his knee bouncing faster as we approached the castle.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "I'm nervous too, but I'm really excited at the same time."

"Me too," I squeezed his hand. "Are Pidge and Matt already there?"

Lance nodded. "Everyone's already there. They're waiting on us."

Of course, we were the sweethearts, after all.

The castle had been decorated completely with bouquets of purple roses, tied with red and blue ribbon, symbolising the colours of our Districts even though we now lived in the same place as one another. Someone in a long, white, Altean robe was guiding horses around the back, their saddles a deep shade of indigo, and I immediately missed how bold I felt on top of a horse. I grinned, remembering that night we escaped from the party. Lance chuckled to himself. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. 

When the car halted, we stepped out and were immediately whisked inside the castle. There was a curtain obscuring the rest of the castle so we couldn't spoil the decorations for ourselves. Everyone was hauling orders at one another, lifting banners and ribbons, as we were separated and pulled up flights upon flights of stairs. That was it, I wasn't going to see Lance until the ceremony, and then my heart couldn't stop pounding. I half-expected the non-existent pulse record on my wrist to start beeping. Before I could peek into either Pidge's or Matt's dressing room to see if they were prepared, I was yanked into my own room, the door slamming shut, and Hunk had my suit in his hand and a pair of shoes in the other.

I was pushed into a chair, the knots in my hair tugged and brushed at, as Hunk came along and placed his hands on my shoulders, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

"District Four's husband-to-be," he grinned. The stylist began trimming the bottom section of my hair, and finally, it was slightly shorter, and more comfortable, too. It had grown so much over the weeks I was in the Games and even after that, I'd started to grow self-conscious about how long my hair was. It was still a little longer at the back, but it was tolerable, and the image took my mind off the entire ceremony for just a few seconds. "Are you nervous?"

"Yes?" I choked. "Hunk, what if I say something wrong? I'm going to screw up like I did in the Games and he's going to hate me!"

"You won't," he laughed, and the cold of the cream being applied to my face made me wince. "You're going to be fine."

"Fine?!" I breathed. My eyes started to water as my eyebrows were plucked. I'd forgotten how much it hurt. "It's an Altean wedding! Everybody is going to be there! Especially Lotor and the Royals and -"

"Keith," Hunk stooped to my level, applying glitter to my cheekbones with gentle fingers. "You are going to be okay. Just because it's an Altean wedding in the castle, doesn't mean it's different to any other wedding. You still have vows, you still have rings. And the party makes up for it. In the unlikely event that you do mess up, you'll be able to drink it all away. It's Christmas Eve, have fun."

I took a deep breath. I knew I couldn't disappoint Lance after so many times in the past. I had to make tonight as great as possible, even if it killed me. I was excited. Terrified, but excited.

After a while, my hair was tucked into a neat braid, adorned with purple and silver rhinestones. My cheekbones and eyes were accentuated with the same colour, along with the slight red tone towards the outer corner of my eyes. This really  _was_ about impressing the boy from District Four. I got out of the chair and stretched, careful not to destroy any of the stylist's hard work. I'd never forgive myself.

"I designed your suit, if you didn't know," Hunk grinned, slipping the tuxedo out from a protective sheet of plastic. "And I hope you like it. If you don't, you're only wearing it for a few hours."

"No, no, I like it," I thumbed the silver embroidery on the collar. It must've cost him so much just to get the fabric custom-made. It was such a rich, gorgeous shade of purple, and as much as I'd never been quite fond of the colour, I had been ever since the wedding was announced. "I like the shoes, too."

"You're wearing a red waistcoat, for obvious reasons," he brought out the waistcoat and I pulled on the white shirt to wear underneath. The blazer was based off Altean robes, so no wonder it looked rather snug at the neck area. Once I'd buttoned up the shirt, he slipped on the waistcoat for me, and handed me the neatly-folded trousers while I buttoned the clothing up. 

Finally, I was completely ready, with time to spare. I stood in front of the mirror, trying to hold myself together. I had so many different emotions conflicting in my head and suddenly I didn't know what to think any more. Hunk placed all the remaining plastic protectors in the trash as I stood there, straightening my blazer, hoping I didn't look that bad. They had to cover up the scars and freckles on my face with as much makeup as possible.

"Do you think I look good enough?" I muttered. "F-For him?"

"Why wouldn't you be?" Hunk wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and immediately, I was crying all over again. Being careful not to smudge the glitter too much, I took the tissue offered by Hunk, and gently swept away the tiny tears rolling down my cheeks. I was still nervous as all hell. "You're devoting yourself to someone, of course it's okay to think like that."

"I know," I sniffed, taking a few deep breaths. It sounded so real and heartfelt. I'd never thought I'd ever be loved this much.

"I bet Lance is doing the same," Hunk smiled, patting the space between my shoulder blades. "But you'll be okay. You'll astound him, I promise."

I looked at Hunks reflection in the mirror and took a final, deep breath. He seemed confident, and I knew I couldn't let him down.

"Good luck, it's almost ten," he muttered. "You're at the altar in fifteen minutes. It's been a pleasure being your stylist."

"I know," I nodded. "And thank you for making me look better than anyone else, I guess."

"You deserved it," Hunk winked. "Go get your man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (if you have any headcanons or just stuff you wanna see at the wedding, let me know!)


	69. Eternal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it's the big day.

Standing in front of the altar petrified me.

I could feel everyone's eyes staring at the back of my head as Lotor stood at the Altar, holding an ancient Altean book, while the Princess and her father stood behind. The altar was white marble, adorned with purple roses snaking up from the bottom like ivy. There must've been at least a hundred people in that room, and I was so thankful that not all of them were staying for the party later. I stared directly forward, ignoring Lotor's grin.

Matt hadn't arrived, but then again, he was Lance's best man, and since we didn't typically have a bride, we had Pidge, who Lotor referred to as an Honour Attendant and the Woman of Honour; she was stood at the side of him, her hands clutching a small bouquet of lilac flowers - she wore one white, satin glove on her right hand. Her hair was dyed slightly violet, her makeup consisted of purple. Everything did within the castle. She looked confident and radiant, and knowing her, she probably wouldn't crack at all. I caught her gaze and she winked. I rolled my eyes right back at her, grinning nervously. Shiro was stood on the opposite side, and being a Victor, he wore a jet-black suit, with a miniature lilac upon his lapel.

All I had to say were the vows. And some of them were Altean, so all I had to do was stick to the script and remain confident within myself. I was sure I could say it all without breaking down. I took a couple of deep breaths and rocked back and forth on my heels, thinking about everything. The Games. The pain. My mother had come back and even that was a miracle. To distract myself, I looked at the snow falling outside. I couldn't relate my own feelings to its tranquil state.

Suddenly, my body grew rigid as the large doors behind me swung open. I didn't see them, of course - but the music playing on both the piano and the large, Altean organ, glowing with essence sounded as soon as I heard the slight creak of the hinges. I couldn't act up now. My parents were watching me. So were Lance's.

The entire  _country_ was watching me.

Pidge's eyes widened in both shock and ardour, glaring at the person behind me, their footsteps approaching anxiously. She blinked as if to hold back tears, before remaining rigid. I knew she could keep it together. After all, I was vulnerable. I'd cry if anyone else began to.

Matt detached himself from Lance's arm and walked over to stand with Shiro, both of them clutching red and blue velvet boxes. Those were the rings chosen by the Capitol officials. I could trust them, at least. Lance and I had no clue what they looked like, but Matt and Shiro probably did. Finally, as Lance walked onto the small step, I turned my head slightly, and almost choked on air.

His cheekbones were accentuated with purple glitter, his ocean eyes emphasised by the dark colours on his eyelids. He wore a silver laurel wreath, attached to a veil that hung over his face so delicately, he almost matched the daintiness of the flowers he was holding. The suit he wore was lighter than mine, with a cobalt-blue waistcoat tucked underneath. I had to hold every single emotion in. It wasn't like we were preparing for Games events any more. We were preparing for each other, and as he looked at me, his eyes as loving and trusting as ever before, he winked softly, and I had to suppress the massive smile crawling onto my face.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Lotor stepped forward, wearing a hybrid of Galra and Altean fashion, a white robe hemmed with purple silk. "We are all gathered here today to celebrate both the companionship and relationship of this year's Victors, District Twelve and District Four, by joining them in a very special bond.

"All of us need and cherish the idea of love, or wanting to be loved, whether it be pure infatuation, or the exhilaration of a bitten bond.

"Today promises become permanent. Today, friends will become family, and the everlasting relationship between you all shall remain strong for a very, very long time."

Matt whispered something to Shiro, and as much as I wanted to listen to Lotor's opening remarks, I was trying not to laugh at Shiro trying to stifle his own giggles.

"Here, in the Capitol, where the highest and most successful Alteans and Galra reside," Lotor continued, turning around to give Shiro the snake eye. "We have only ever had post-Games wedding once. And that was the day the Games finished for the first time. To work with both Keith and Lance behind a screen was never easy, and I knew, through the determination and selflessness of keeping one another alive, that these two would become one. Along with your Victors' crowns, you shall receive high Altean status.

"However - today isn't about the Games, or their experience. It's about beginning their new life together. And now, family, friends, Galra, Altean or otherwise, let us all unite in this bond, and reflect within their vows."

I forgot who went first. With a deep breath, I tried reciting the vows I'd learned according to the old weddings of Altea, but none of them reflected our relationship. Our experiences. They were too dainty, too elegant, and sugarcoated everything we went through. Lotor looked at us expectantly, and I turned to clasp my hands over Lance's gazing strongly at him in the eye. I couldn't let him down. Not again.

"Lance, I," I breathed, noticing my mother watching me out of the corner of my eye. I swallowed hard as Lance's face contorted in shock. He knew I wasn't sticking to any kind of script. "I went into the Games expecting something else. I hated it, and I know you did too, but I soon saw something in you that I couldn't see in anyone else."

Lotor seemed shocked that I had my own vows prepared. But I was repeating whatever appeared in my head, no matter if it was nonsense.

"You," I bit my lip. I couldn't cry. Not in front of everyone. "You are so selfless. You take care of others more than you do yourself and even I couldn't bring myself to do that. I found myself denying every little feeling and thought about you because I never thought I was good enough. Ever. The night you sneaked in and provided me with something to eat? I didn't expect that at all. And I didn't expect you to forgive me at all. Hell, Lance, you were so brave back there. I was rooting for you all the time."

Pidge started fanning her face slightly, before her gloved hand clasped over her mouth, her eyes glistening with tears. With a deep breath, she was back to normal again, blinking away the pinprick feeling within her tearducts. Meanwhile, Lance's cheeks had flushed pink, it wasn't hard to see them underneath the veil.

"You're an excellent big brother, and an even better partner," I swallowed. "Your singing and laughter sound like birdsong. You've taken me places I'd never seen, and I hadn't ever been near the ocean before. 

"I'm talking too much," I laughed quietly. "And I know I'm bad at feelings. But I'm proud of you, Lance. I'm so, so happy you're here. I'm happy that you love me just the same as I do you, and I'm not afraid to make everything perfect with you."

There were a few sniffs in the audience, and when I turned my head, Pidge had completely broken down. She was staring at her shoes, her hands trembling, tears rolling down her cheeks as if she hadn't cried in years. She used her bare hand to palm away her tears, being careful not to smudge away her makeup. When she lifted her head she gave me a proud smile, and even Lance was trying to suppress the emotions he was feeling. I just wanted to remove the veil he wore.

"Man," Lance laughed, sniffing a little bit. "You covered everything I was gonna say."

The audience chortled. My heart pounded euphorically. I'd said so many things at once and I was so proud of myself for it. Lance adjusted his grip on my hands and he took a deep breath.

"Back in the arena," Lance began, swallowing hard. "I thought I was going to die. I thought it was going to be the end and even during the build-up, I never thought I was going to be good enough. I never felt good enough. I was weak, most of the time, at least I thought I was, anyway. And it wasn't until you saw potential in me, and that you'd helped me for the first time, that I finally began to think I had a chance. 

"Nothing could ever prepare me, or any of us. And I'm so glad you were by my side, despite the hormones, despite the pain, despite every little thing we were forced into. I realised that I fell in love harder than I thought I did and there was no way out. At all."

I didn't want Lance to cry. I didn't want either of us to cry, but we were so absorbed in that moment, I didn't think either of us cared.

"And I just wanted to say thank you," Lance sniffed. "I can do anything with you. You've made me feel so much better about everything, including myself. And I knew, from the moment I stepped out of that healing pod, I had to find you..."

He took a deep breath and swallowed, chuckling to himself, cursing under his breath.

"...because I'll never forget what you said to me."

My mind was reeling. I'd said many things to Lance and suddenly I was dumbfounded, looking for an explanation, looking for some sort of guidance to whatever the hell I'd said that made him happy --

"What'd he say?" Lotor grinned.

"That I'm worth f-fighting for."

Even Matt mustered up a soft smile, his white gloves trying to hide the happiness on his face. Pidge was wiping away shameless tears, her smile as wide as an ocean, almost dropping the bouquet she held in her quaking hands. I gazed at Lance through the veil over his face, watching his eyes glisten like the snow underneath the midnight moon outside. I squeezed his hands, feeling my bottom lip quiver.

"Ring bearers, please present the rings within your trinket boxes, on behalf of the Altean jewellers of the Capitol."

With a final smile, Lance and I turned to face Matt and Shiro, who lifted the lid off the boxes sitting in their gloved palms. They were encrusted with tiny amethysts, intertwined with a ribbon of silver, closely embracing the sapphire and ruby that stuck closely together. I took Lance's ring and slid it above his engagement ring, and he did the same with mine.

"I now pronounce you, dearly beloved, bonded with eternal strength and happiness. May it live on."

With a smile stretching my lips, I delicately lifted Lance's veil away from his face, but I almost had the air knocked out of my body as he span and dipped me to the floor, pressing his lips to mine. I tried my hardest not to giggle but they poured out of my mouth anyway, and I held his cheeks and kissed him with as much love I had in me. I couldn't stop smiling. He lifted me back up while the audience cooed and cheered. I pulled him closer and held him tight, watching Pidge cry all over again. My mother was in tears, and my father seemed softer. Lola stood at her mother's side, clutching a small basket of purple petals she'd thrown over the marble pathway, a small tiara upon her head. She gave me a wave, and I waved right back.

"You don't understand how much I love you," Lance muttered, squeezing me tighter. 

"Then I love you even more than that," I was careful not to pull the veil away from his head as I pressed a kiss to the shell of his ear. Lance laughed.

"That's impossible."

Lotor placed his hands on the altar. "On behalf of the Royals of the Capitol, we bid you all a goodnight, and a happy future for the newlyweds."

The piano started playing once again, and Pidge walked over, linking her arm in my left, while Lance did the same with my right. He linked arms with Matt, who soon linked with Shiro, and we all walked down, getting covered in glitter and confetti and all kinds of flowers. Photographers were everywhere, and it wasn't like I cared any more. It was cold and dark outside, but it still didn't dampen our spirits - the snow made it enlightening to take photographs, and Lance was more than happy to remain with me, simultaneously answering questions for the Capitol's paparazzi.

I'd waited to be this happy for a long time, and now I really was. I didn't mess anything up, and I didn't let Lance down at all. The smile on his face was priceless, and even Pidge came over to give him a secure, happy hug, while we all had our pictures taken, without any care in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill write the party as soon as possible!  
> im still accepting any party ideas, you guys are so good at inspiration, omg <333


	70. Icing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time.

The remainder of the guests left before the party started, but we gave them a chance to greet us and congratulate us, which wasn't entirely that bad. People were fond of grabbing Lance and cooing over his suit and veil, but as soon as we hopped onto the horses and started trotting over to the back area of the castle. The ballroom was huge, and was the same place the Games party happened, but it was much,  _much_ more fun. We were blinded by camera flashes and I was surprised the horses didn't go absolutely wild, and although it was snowing, it still felt exhilarating to be on top of one. Lance still clutched his bouquet, Pidge held onto hers, and as soon as we arrived, Lance decided to throw the bouquet before entering the ballroom.

There were still many people inside, cheering, yelling over one another, almost loud enough to drown out the music. The horses were guided elsewhere. Lance removed his veil and ruffled his hair, before he faced me with a grin. I couldn't wait to take off my blazer. If I was going to get a little drunk, it was going to be stiflingly hot in there. But I had to let Lance have his fun. After all, he deserved it.

Over the loud music, he looked behind at the daunting crowd all outstretching their hands. Matt was there, stood beside Shiro, eyeing the table of drinks to his left. But his expression changed completely when Lance tossed the bouquet and Shiro reached out for it, grasping it in a perfect catch. Pidge was absolutely beside herself, patting her big brother on the back.

"Really?" Matt swallowed, looking up at Shiro and the bouquet in his hand. The taller man shrugged, giving him a little wink. "I didn't know you -"

"Shh," Shiro placed the bouquet on the nearest table and gave Matt's backside a squeeze. "You'll ruin the surprise."

Finally, once everyone had scattered to the dance floor, including Hunk, and our trainer, Shay. There were many faces I'd seen in the past that made an appearance that night, and after a few glasses of glowing Altean wine, I was buzzing. Lance still had a lot more, though, but not as much as Pidge. They were yanking each other around on the dance floor, the glitter on their cheekbones glistening in the light. I was so happy for him. He was so brave and courageous and I still couldn't believe he was still alive.

But that didn't matter right now - he was walking over with his arm outstretched, singing the lyrics, the top button of his waistcoat undone, a dirty grin on his face. I shook my head, knowing I'd make a fool of myself. I probably got more and more embarrassed about dancing if I didn't have alcohol. Although I danced at the dinner after the Games, I was with Lance at all times - he looked so expectant of me.

"C'mon!" he giggled, beckoning me with his gloved hand. "Keith, you know you wanna."

"Do I?" I grinned. "I don't know, I might trip-  _Lance!"_

He yanked me up and my cheeks flared immediately. My heart was racing at a million miles an hour but he didn't seem to be looking at anyone or anything other than me. His ocean eyes were dark with love and lust -  _mostly_ drunken lust - and I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit, and let myself dance with him. I couldn't do anything about it. Pidge was dancing with Lotor, which struck me as totally unexpected, but they were both having fun, so I couldn't interfere.

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile as Lance hummed the lyrics into my ear, his lips delicately tracing my jawline. I knew he was almost already out of it. He was muttering incoherent gibberish, half English, half Spanish. As the song ended, he pressed a kiss against the deep, scarred bite on my neck.

"Y'know, we should," Lance murmured, lazily pulling me to the side. I grabbed the drink on my table and took a long sip, the alcohol burning the back of my throat. "We should gay."

And suddenly I couldn't breathe with both laughter and choking on the drink inside my mouth, hammering my chest with my fist to clear my throat. After that, I was speechless, almost doubling over with giggles. Lance grinned at me, clearly proud of his own little statement.

"We should." 

With haste, I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, feeling the immediate contrast of the cold sink into our hot skin. Snow freckled our hair, and Lance looked extremely gorgeous when he was coated in it. But with the alcohol stirring my mind, slurring my thoughts, I kissed him hard, as if this was the last time I was ever seeing him. We had a place to ourselves, and a bed big enough for four people, but still, the freezing castle wall had to make do. 

"Feisty," Lance grinned, flipping me, picking me up, pressing me against the wall. "We'll get caught like this."

"Who cares?" I locked my legs around his waist, delving my tongue into his needy mouth. He tasted like the wine, rich and generous. My fingers curled in his hair, and as much as I wanted to wreck both his hairstyle and his mouth, I wanted to be careful around his makeup. I didn't want that to come off too soon. He was tipsy, and it was adorable, because I felt him giggle whenever my thumbs caught the sensitive tips of his ears.

"Oh, there you shits are," Pidge leaned against the wall and I leaped out of Lance's arms, landing on my backside in the cold snow. She was swirling a glass of wine in her gloved hand. "Keith, your ass is gonna be cold for the rest of the night."

If I'd landed face-first, I was sure the snow would melt by how hot my cheeks were. Lance stared down at me, his giggles sounding as drunk as ever, before he pulled me up and brushed the dust off my thighs. Pidge's hair was a total mess. Her glasses sat on her head, her makeup was smudged, and the grin on her face was anything but clean.

"Lance," Pidge hiccuped, covering her mouth. "The Princess 'n her dad are gone, and Lotor removed all the ribbons and flowers on the pole banners and I was wonderin' if you'd join me."

Lance looked at me as if he needed permission. Pidge's voice had such a foreign lilt all of a sudden, and as much as I wanted to get used to it, she sounded so different and drunk at the same time that I just  _couldn't._ I gave Lance a shrug. I really didn't care. It was our wedding night, and I had no opposition - he was so drunk he'd probably forget it everything that happened at the party in the morning.

Pidge grabbed his wrist and pulled him back into the party, and I was about to follow them, before Lotor strolled out, his hair pulled to one side, cascading down his left shoulder.

"Ah," he took a deep breath, relishing the cold air. I wanted to see Lance. I ached to watch whatever they were doing in there. "What're you doing out here, Kogane?"

"Do you want the disturbing truth or a comforting lie?" I muttered.

"I want the truth, but tell me the lie too."

"Lance and I were making out in the spot you're leaning against -"

"Heheh," Lotor giggled tipsily. "What's the lie?"

"We were enjoying the snow."

He snorted, folding his arms. "I've realised Pidge is a completely different person when she's drunk and I don't know whether to feel scared or excited."

"Shit," I laughed, immediately remembering the party before the Games. "Feel scared."

Lotor grinned. "Alright. Those were very heartfelt vows, I didn't know you had it in you."

I was way too out of it to talk about how I prepared everything. "I just said whatever the hell came into my head."

"Smart."

I let Lotor hang around outside on his own, but as soon as I walked back in to the sticky, humid ballroom, Lance was taking advantage of his flexibility far too much, and Pidge had stolen Matt's tuxedo trousers to conceal her dignity. But when I looked closer, she'd actually just traded outfits, and Matt was sitting in a borrowed pair of skin-tight pants and a white shirt. After all, he still had a room in the castle, and he could trade his outfits any time.

I approached the pole Lance was twirling around on. He was going to complain about a stomach ache earlier and the only person he could blame was himself. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Hunk talking to our trainer, Shay, at a table, their hands clasped together. Matt and Shiro were already yelling the lyrics to whatever song was on. Lance gripped the pole, snaking his legs around it as he tilted his head backwards, looking at me upside-down.

"Hey sweetheart," he grinned. 

"Are you having fun?" I raised a brow, folding my arms. "You're pole dancing as a married man. I hope you know Matt is taking photos."

"But I'm a Capitol model, right?" he winked, hopping down. "They'd pay good money for those photos."

"That's true," I shrugged, watching Pidge perform the splits, and I winced so hard I felt it. "Shit, Pidge, are you okay?"

"I do it all the time," she stuck her tongue out. "Like my outfit?"

"It's gorgeous, where's your dress?" I smirked. She needed to button up the remainder of her shirt, but since she was oblivious, I decided to do it for her.

"It's in Matt's room," she hiccuped, and when I'd finished, she wrapped her arms around my torso and squeezed me tight. Lance clasped his hand over his mouth to hide his laughter. Home suddenly seemed like a good idea. "I'm so proud of you, man, why can't I be as happy as you."

"I don't know, Pidge," I chortled, hugging her. She was out of it and all Lance could do was watch and smile. "You still have time."

"Nah," she whined. "I want to be happy now."

"Katie, you're drunk," Matt strolled over and pulled his sister's collar. She detached, pouting like a toddler. 

"So are you, Matthew," she retorted, clearly loving the annoyed grimace that twisted on her brother's face. 

"I know, but I'm not hugging random men, am I?"

"Actually," Lance giggled. "You hugged me from behind earlier."

Matt went off to find Shiro after that. Since Lotor had returned, we all made our way over to the gigantic six-tier cake we'd been gifted. I had so many emotions reeling through my head I almost felt doubtful that they were  _too_ good - but once Lance grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the cake, with the knife in hand, I knew that I wasn't taking any of this for granted. The camera flashes almost blinded us all over again, so Lance waited until all the photos were taken, before slicing the icing and pushing the knife through the soft sponge.

"This is yours -  _Keith!"_

In a fit of giggles, I pushed the slice into his lips, smearing the purple fondant all over his cheeks and chin. He squealed in both disgust and surprise as he grabbed the rest of the slice and shoved it into my half-open mouth, our fingers coated in icing and cake. He tried cleaning it off, but I kept wiping it onto his nose, which made him even more hilariously frustrated.

I licked the fondant from my lips and almost shrieked in shock when Lance stepped forward to lick the cream from my cheek. 

"Ew!" I giggled, and he wiped even more sponge onto my face. "Hey!"

In the end, half of the cake was smeared all over our clothing, including Lotor, who'd managed to get coated by Hunk and Shay. Matt had to wipe his lenses after Shiro coated them with icing, but didn't hesitate to kiss it off his lips when he had the opportunity. Pidge kept doubling over in fits of giggles. In the midst of the massive food fight, I knew the wedding was worth it. With another filthy grin, I plastered a purple handprint on Lance's backside, and he turned around to coat my nose in icing all over again.

Finally, when the music stopped and Lance almost had the buttons ripped off his shirt, the glitter on our faces everywhere, we were so exhausted, and Christmas Day had already dawned on us. Pidge was still yelling along with her brother and Shiro who were sat on the floor in a small circle. Lance was led down, his elbows propping his upper body up.

"You ready to go home?" he grinned. "I'm so fucking tired."

"You're so fucking drunk," I giggled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

The lights came back on, and we realised how much cake we'd thrown at one another instantly. It was then we also realised that it was  _definitely_ time to go home. We were so tired, everything was funny, I couldn't imagine how we'd be at the Holt residence.

Lance and I were still singing at the top of our lungs by the time we got home, almost waking the kitten, and we even tripped trying to go up the stairs. After laughing about it, Lance kept tripping until I had to carry him to bed. He couldn't breathe because he was laughing so hard, and I threw him onto the bed to straddle him, wiping off all the cake and makeup from his face.

After I'd pulled off my shirt, I laid against Lance's bare chest, playing with the broken thread that once held a button. He was a hot mess and I wanted all of him. His fingers trailed through my hair and I peppered his warm torso with gentle kisses.

"I can't wait to spend Christmas with you." Lance whispered. I shifted myself upwards and propped myself up with an elbow, my nose just about touching his. "I got you a gift. Many gifts, in fact."

It was then I realised that not only had I forgotten it was  _actually Christmas Day_ , but I hadn't gotten him anything, and suddenly, I knew I had to make an early morning trip, even if the stores were closed. I had to negotiate.

He smoothed his hands down my back, kneading the ball of his palm into all the tense knots and muscles. I was still euphoric after the ceremony. With a yawn, I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed his palm tenderly, watching his mouth upturn into a gentle smile. Then, with my heart still pounding, and my stomach fluttering with butterflies, I pressed my lips against his and sleepily let myself melt in his mouth.

"You smell like icing," he whispered. I smirked.

"You smell like home," I replied, watching his eyes glisten with happy, joyful tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((what should keith get lance? <3))


	71. Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is better than usual.

I barely had enough time to sleep because I had to get up and get Lance a couple of presents. Luckily, I was spooning him, and he usually slept so deeply it wasn't contrary to see him completely still. He looked so peaceful, and despite the slight dehydration from the Altean alcohol, I gave his shoulder a warm kiss and slowly slipped out of bed. Altean alcohol didn't provide a proper hangover, it just made me feel thirsty as hell. My mind was buzzing with the spirit of Christmas and the scent of the tree we had in our living room downstairs, wafting all the way up into our bedroom.

After getting dressed quietly and throwing on his comfortable coat, I tip-toed over quietly and gave his cheek a small kiss, watching his lips upturn into a gentle, sleepy smile. The kitten sprung up onto the bed and curled up underneath Lance's arm, the early morning sunrise making his honey skin glow. 

"I'll be back," I whispered, tucking his hair behind his ear. He didn't move a muscle, or make a sound. 

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and took a long sip as I walked out, the immediate cold biting my nose. The snow fell lightly, and even though the sun was rising just above the horizon, it was still rather dark. And it made me feel slightly better about being tired, I had nobody else to blame but myself for that. It was my fault I'd forgotten to get him a few things, and considering everything we'd done for one another, it would be a bad move to pretend to forget.

Luckily, since I was given a high Altean status and became a Victor, I was recognised by many merchants and business, so I walked right into the jewellers', my eyes set on a bracelet I knew he'd adore. It was behind a glass wall, and glowed with pure Altean essence, a gentle, tranquil blue reflecting against the pane. The chain was silver, and the essence snaked around each coil, flowing just like ocean tides. I turned to look at the jeweller, his hair silver and shaved into a spiky undercut, his lime-green eyes almost glowing in the early morning dark.

"Can I have this one?" I touched my finger against the cold pane of glass, and he brought out a key to slide the window open. He then selected a white satin box and placed the bracelet in there carefully, as if it was made of glass. I took out the card from my pocket and swiped it, stamped with the silver Altean logo which I'd never thought I'd have in my life. "Thank you."

"No problem," he closed the clasp on the box and slid it over in a black paper bag with a silver trim. "Have a great Christmas."

I realised that I was also heading to the Holts' as soon as possible once we'd woken up, so I went into a technology store to purchase Pidge a pair of headphones, and to get Matt a new circuit set, since the one back at Five looked like it was handed down from his parents. I then went into a clothing store to get Lance a sweater, Pidge some slippers - because she was fond of the ones back at the castle - and Matt a pair of shoes. By then I was walking down the snow-covered streets, feeling heavy with the weight of the bags. I purchased some wrapping paper and ribbon, and finally walked into the infamous candy store, the largest one in the Capitol.

My arms ached with the amount of items I was carrying, and Lance was due to wake up any moment now. Once I'd paid for the candy, and gotten Shiro a couple of miscellaneous soaps, I walked into a cafe and ordered two cinnamon lattes. After all, we'd probably be leaving as soon as Lance woke up and opened one of his gifts, so it was only efficient to have something in his system. I couldn't resist visiting the pet store, either, and heading into a decor store to buy my mother and father some candles.

Eventually, I made it all the way home, carrying all of the bags and the hot drinks, feeling the warmth from the paper cups seep into my cold gloves. The Capitol seemed to be beautiful at Christmas. The streets glittered with snow and lights were strewn everywhere, making the most darkest of alleyways glow. The sky turned a pale lilac as the sun rose, and I unlocked my door, stamped away the snow on my boots, and quickly wrapped up all the gifts I had.

Six o'clock. Lance could already be awake and I had no idea, but he wasn't downstairs, and the kitten still seemed to be missing. I left the gifts for my friends downstairs, as well as the rest of Lance's, and walked up holding our drinks and a hot croissant. When I'd reached the bedroom, Lance was sat up, stretching and yawning, rubbing his palms into his eyes. I sat on the bed and grinned at him, while Blue crawled onto my lap and mewled for attention.

"Hello," Lance smiled, rubbing the sleep dust from his eyes. "You're dressed."

"I'd forgotten to get everyone a couple of gifts, so I had to run out quickly," I smiled at him meekly, passing him the latte and plate. He took it with a surprised look and sipped the drink slowly, before closing his eyes and smiling with bliss. "I hope it's okay for you."

"It's great, you didn't have to," he chuckled, taking a bite out of the croissant. He then reached over to put the cup on his nightstand, and pulled out a wrapped box from underneath the bed. I traded that with his gift, and began to pull the ribbon away from the box on my lap. I was intrigued. It was larger than the gift I got him and I started to worry that he was giving away all of his gifts now. "I'm giving you the rest when we go to the Holt's."

"Good, me too," I snorted, gently unwrapping the decorative paper. I let Blue play with the ribbon and destroy the scraps of paper we threw at him. Inside was packaging for cologne, a pair of new, leather gloves, and a necklace with two stellar symbols hanging, each star represented by a small crystal. 

I lifted it and gazed at it in awe. "This is so cute."

"Yeah," Lance shrugged bashfully, his excited fingers tapping against his unopened gift. "It's Scorpius and Leo. I realised once I knew your birthday I could get you something too, so, I hope you like it."

"I love it," I laughed, fastening the clasp behind my neck. I then took a small sniff of the cologne and pulled on the new gloves, immediately relishing how tough they felt, but once I knew they covered up the rings, I took them off. I didn't want to damage either item. "Thank you so much!"

Lance then opened the satin box and the blue glow reflected against his face immediately, his smile widening in awe. He took out the bracelet and slid it onto his wrist, giggling to himself. He looked so happy, winding and twisting his hand around to look at it properly.

"This is so beautiful, Keith," he bit his lip and looked at me with the most grateful smile. "I don't think I'm ever going to take it off."

"Me neither," I grinned, feeling the chain around my neck.

Once we'd finished our breakfast, we darted outside to visit the Holt residence and I made sure to give my parents their candles by placing them in their mailbox. I doubted they'd be awake, so once Pidge opened the door holding a mug of coffee and looking awake as ever, I was very surprised. The dog bounded up to us with fairy lights wrapped around its fur, and it didn't seem like it was on purpose, either. Lance stooped down to give the dog a couple of very generous pats and even squealed in delight when his cheek was coated in licks.

"Hey!" Pidge grinned. "Hey- whoa, Rover, come on, down."

Her mother came to the door and opened it wider, and the scent of rich food came pouring out, making my mouth water. Lance got up and gently unwound the lights from Rover, who was trying very hard to sit like the good boy he was.

"Shiro's already here, and you guys seem dressed," her mother smiled, and Pidge guided her dog back into the house. "Make yourself at home, you two are welcome to stay for as long as you want."

"Is- will there be any alcohol?" I asked, expecting the answer to be a very positive 'yes.' She laughed, closing the door behind Lance as he grabbed the toy in the dog's mouth and tugged it. 

"What kind of mother would I be? It's Christmas," she smiled. "Unless you don't want any, sweetheart, then that's alright too."

I neatly placed my boots near the door and stared at the large tree adorned with tinsel and fairy lights, the amount of gifts underneath it almost unaccountable. Pidge came back in, her sweater sleeves rolled up to her elbows, wearing her slippers that she seemed way too attached to. Matt and Shiro sauntered in talking with his father, while Lance and I sat on the couch. The dog laid down in the middle of the room.

"No, it's perfectly fine," I smiled, accepting the small glass of champagne. "Thank you."

"Hey, twink," Matt ruffled my hair and I immediately launched myself at him, rubbing my knuckles into his forehead. "Ow! Hey! You're married, this isn't allowed."

"It so is," Lance laughed. "Stop calling my husband a twink."

"Alright, twink," Shiro leaned against the couch. Lance raised an eyebrow at him, providing Shiro with a fake threat. "Please don't noogie me."

Lance snorted, and pulled Matt onto the couch to hit his arm. "I think you're the twink."

Pidge rolled her eyes and began tossing gifts out from underneath the tree, yelling random names, and occasionally it'd be an unwrapped dog toy she'd throw at Rover, who snatched it from the floor immediately. The atmosphere was so warm and happy, I didn't even notice the time go by, and soon it was noon, and we were still opening gifts. There wasn't a single area on the floor that wasn't covered in paper. Pidge changed into the sweater I bought her and immediately snatched her handheld from the coffee table to test out her headphones. Matt and Shiro managed to apologise for the 'insult' once they'd open their gifts, but in all honesty, we all ended up calling one another twinks as the day went on.

Pidge managed to get Lance some blue hair dye, so he'd have to try that out at some point. I stared at my ever-growing pile of gifts, including the expensive-looking leather jacket from Matt, the unaccountable amount of candy from Shiro, and all the little things Lance bought me in between. He bought me a new pair of boots, which I was very grateful for, and a bunch of bath bombs and soaps I couldn't wait to try, many of them mint-scented. 

Dinner was both impressive and hilarious. Both of their parents had managed to prepare three meats as well as well-cooked vegetables, and even I thought it was Capitol food until they confirmed they'd cooked it all themselves. Lance sneakily threw down some meat for the dog, and although he was scolded by Pidge, he did it a few more times before he was full. I kept gazing at the rings on his finger and suppressed many smiles. We all talked about everything, from good moments in the Games, to ceremonies, and first impressions of one another. Their mother took advantage of the champagne and I had my hair ruffled many, many times.

My parents paid a visit and we all sat in the living room playing on the games console set up on the television. They adored their candles, and I was given many big, warm hugs by both my mother and father. They greeted my friends too, and Pidge was so intrigued by my mother's journey of recovery, she ended up hugging her for being so brave. They gave me the knife my mother always kept underneath her bed and I was never allowed it at all - mainly because the blade was slightly purple in colour, mined from a rare metal only found within the Capitol. Along with that, I was given my favourite chocolate and some money to spend.

"You're not allowed to buy jackets," my father grinned. "You have enough."

"You can never be too warm," I stuck out my tongue. My mother lifted my left hand to look at the rings, and she gave me a confident smile.

Once they left to go to the cafe downtown, it was already around seven o'clock, and Lance and I had to rush home to collect our sleepwear. He also made a brief visit to his family to say hello and give little Lola a hug. The music had gotten much louder when we returned and their parents had retreated upstairs, leaving us to our own devices. We sat stuffing our already-full stomachs with candy and slowly wasting away within champagne and a single bottle of Altean alcohol - which was never really a good idea, because it had much,  _much_ more alcohol in it than previously anticipated. And suddenly it was a reenactment of last night; we turned the lights off in the house and grabbed their old water guns from the cupboard, shooting each other blindly.

It was a lot of fun and Matt broke a vase, but it was all part of the game. He was too drunk and giggly to care, in fact, when he heard it smash against the floor, there was a pause. He and Shiro cackled soon after, and then we were all laughing in separate sections of the house. I managed to find Lance by his bracelet, and groped around to see how he was stood.

"Keith?" he giggled. "Keith, I swear, if that's you, I'm gonna grope you back."

"I'm trying to find out where you are!" I laughed, feeling my head buzz. It was hard walking around in fluffy socks. I swore I heard Pidge hit the floor after skidding around in the hallway.

"That's my ass," Lance snorted, and I tried patting my hand around what I thought was his arm, and gave it a squeeze. "Keith- babe, that's my dick."

Pidge almost started crying with laughter in the other room. "Please tell me you did  _not_ just say that."

With my cheeks burning, I used his bracelet to find his hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," Lance giggled. "I can't see a thing but I think I hit Matt."

We both sneaked obnoxiously around the house, clutching our water guns close to our chest. Suddenly, a cold splash of water hit my back and Matt was cackling behind us. Lance and I turned and started shooting blindly, and we got shot right back, until we were laughing so hard Matt hit the wall, Lance almost fell over, and Pidge had to come in and investigate what went on. She flicked on the light and we were all crying, our stomachs aching, and Lance had to use my shoulder to hold himself up. We were drenched, and Pidge couldn't breathe after being consumed by her own giggles.

"Matt, stop fucking laughing at everything!" she wheezed, leaning against the dining table, wiping her tears. Matt took one look at Shiro and let out a breathy wheeze, before he was howling all over again, and Pidge was uncontrollable. "Stop! I'm gonna pee!"

Lance held onto my shoulders and laughed into my back, letting out an unexpected snort, and I was sure we were going to wake the dog sleeping in the next room because we were laughing so hard. Once we contained ourselves, and Matt let out a few giggles, wiping his eyes, Pidge flicked the light back off and we scattered to different areas in the house.

"Wait, shh," Lance whispered, grabbing my arm, pulling me into what I thought was a bathroom. "Can we fill these up with milk?"

"Lance, you are a genius."

And so we tip-toed into the kitchen, hearing them all yell at one another behind us. We quickly replaced the water in our guns with milk and shoved it back in the refrigerator, ready to ambush. Lance grabbed my hand and we darted around the house until we saw the reflection of Matt's glasses, and we fired immediately, hearing him shriek in surprise.

"You little shits!" he squealed, his puny shots no match for Lance's sharpshooting, and we cackled with the knowledge that what we were firing with definitely wasn't water. Matt suddenly stopped firing, and so did Shiro. Lance's giggles were making me laugh because his voice kept breaking.

"Oh my God, you guys are so cruel," Matt whined. "This is milk!"

And that was it - Lance was laughing all over again and Shiro turned the light on, staring at the mess on the floor and all over their nightclothes. Pidge was on the other side of the room, which made us all scream in terror because we had no idea she was there - which, of course, made her shriek, until she saw the mess on Matt and Shiro's clothes, and she snorted.

"You guys are so gross," she giggled. "Milk? Since when did you think that was a good idea?"

"It was Lance's idea," I grinned, and Lance put his hand up in surrender.

"Yeah, it was me," he chortled. "Can we stop playing? It's getting so hot."

We abandoned the water guns and raced upstairs with our drinks, using Pidge's hairdryer to dry our clothes. Matt and Shiro had to change because they stank of milk, which only made Lance giggle all over again at the reminder. We sat in Pidge's room as they changed, and Lance threw my hair into a ponytail, giving the nape of my neck a drunken, wet kiss.

"I'm losing my voice because I laughed so hard," Pidge muttered, taking a long sip of her drink. "Oh man, that was funny."

"I loved it when you skidded along the hall in your socks and fucking  _fell over_ ," Lance snorted. "I wish I filmed that."

"That would be all over the Capitol," Pidge giggled. "So I'm glad you didn't. I wished you'd filmed the milk part. My brother hates milk."

"I do," Matt whined, jumping onto the bed and pulling Shiro on with him. "What're we doing here?"

"I don't know," Pidge tapped her finger against her lips, until an idea dawned on her. "Let's make a fort in the living room and sleep in there."

"Katie. Yes." Matt grabbed the pillows from her bed. "Get your sheets and all the ones from the cupboard."

"On it."

We watched from the couch as they built the fort, and it seemed as if they'd done it multiple times when they were little, because it was sturdy and had absolutely no chance of falling. Pidge grabbed the fairy lights from her room and draped them along the inside, covering the floor in mattresses and blankets for our comfort. When they were done, we all crawled in and assigned ourselves a sleeping area, but in the end, as we watched a movie, it ended up being a warm heap in the middle of the fort.

"Hey, Keith," Lance whispered, pointing to a pissed-off tiger on the screen. "That's you."

I pointed to a fish in a small aquarium. "That's you."

We couldn't manage any more words after we sleepily laughed at one another. Everyone had crashed out in a giant heap, and we did too, still buzzing with alcohol and happiness. I was so grateful for everything, and I knew Lance was too. He didn't care about being in the midst of everyone else when he wrapped his arms around me and made me his priority. Once he whispered a goodnight, we were both out like fairy lights, with his hand clasping mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was longer than I expected, im so sorry!


	72. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is finally happy.

"There's a spider in the bathroom, Keith!" Pidge shrieked. "Fucking kill it!"

Spiders were usually what I had to eliminate in my house all the time and I'd never pass up on the opportunity to do so. Lance was also deathly afraid of spiders, so when I walked into the bathroom and grabbed a fistful of tissue and shoved it against the offending creature on the wall. It was smaller than a penny, but Pidge was so grateful when it was killed, she almost cried.

It was time to go home, and the fort was demolished. Lance and I changed into our clothes and I clasped the necklace around my neck again, grabbing all the gifts I'd been given and putting them into a bag. Matt woke up looking as dishevelled as ever, and he was sat on the couch drinking tea from Shiro's lap, yawning as if he'd never slept in his life. Again, dehydration was horrible after Altean alcohol, so I made sure Lance and I had something to eat and drink.

After that, we bid them a goodbye and went home, organising our gifts into our closet when need be and shoving food items into the kitchen cupboards. It was past noon, and we woke up so late, I didn't want to do anything for the whole day. I felt so disoriented that I forgot about the water gun fight the night before, which was probably why Lance had a bruise on his shin after running into a table.

We stood on out balcony at the back of the house, gazing at the glistening castle in the distance and the large city centre beside it. We were so lucky to have survived everything, and we went through far more extremes than ever before. Lance suffered way worse than anyone else, and even Matt complained against the scars on his stomach when he was chatting to Shiro this morning. Without any coat or source of warmth, we shivered slightly as the snow fell, thankful for the blanket wrapped around our shoulders. Lance was only wearing a pair of slippers on his feet, which truly proved how careless he was about getting cold.

"It's hard to believe we were in that building over there," he pointed to the Tribute quarters, sighing a little bit. "It really was terrifying, now that I think of it."

"Mmh," I shrugged. "The training was hard. But I have all the scars to prove that I'm a Victor."

"Yeah," Lance nodded pitifully. "Me too."

He reached over and held my hand as we rested our forearms against the balcony rails, feeling the icy metal almost stick to our skin. I wondered if Lance missed the ocean at all, or the storms back in the arena. I didn't miss Twelve at all, although I used to love the campfires we made back in the forest. I'd have to go back one day, or maybe visit the forest in Five. After all, all of us had become best friends, including Shiro and I. I still had some work to do with our relationship, and I wasn't sure if I forgave him after everything he did to ruin my life. But now, without the pressure of the Games, he seemed very laid-back and much happier now that Matt was around.

I thought about the catwalk. The party. The night where we stole horses and fled. What I wore; what we  _all_ wore. The sound of the cannon in the arena sometimes woke me up at night because my mind would recreate a perfect replica, and I'd wake up in a cold sweat. Luckily, Lance was right there beside me, and I couldn't thank him enough. I was still astounded at how much he adored me too, and even though we had bad pasts, and suffered from the same bad experiences, we learned how to trust one another in a bond that nobody else could replicate.

No amount of fear could compare to when I was in the Games. It still felt so raw, and sometimes I woke up expecting to be on the sand again, scheduling my sleep to ensure everyone stayed alive. But the only thing I woke up to was a warm mattress and Lance's heaving chest, his breaths blowing my hair about. Mornings were warmer than they used to be. Cosier. Full of love. I was still surprised whenever Lance would wrap his arms around me from behind and give the nape of my neck a kiss - not because I was sensitive, but I still couldn't grasp sudden affection.

At least he found it adorable, and I could live with that, as long as he loved me.

"You're the best person I've ever met," Lance looked at me. "I trust you with everything I have and for an Omega like me, that's really important."

"Remember when everyone's scents were released into the air and suddenly it was a manhunt?" I muttered. Lance shook his head. "Heh, me neither."

I knew he remembered, and I'd just reopened a closed wound. "I trust you too," I replied.

"During the summer, do you want to visit the beach with me again?" he asked, and I nodded. "Good, I want to fish with you."

"Fish with me?" I grinned. "Sure, sounds like fun."

Perhaps for his birthday I'd buy him a trident, just to go fishing with. He looked so daring and courageous when he held it back at the Games, and the tool really suited him, weapon or not. His sleeves were rolled up and I saw all of the deep scars Nyma had inflicted on him when she couldn't wield it properly - and then it dawned on me, that her family was still mourning. The families of the fallen were all mourning.

"I'll kiss your scars if you kiss mine," I muttered. Lance turned his head to look at me, and nodded.

"My favourite ones are the jaguar scars on your shoulder," he smirked. "I think they're badass."

"I used to love your silver hair," I chuckled. "You should dye it blue soon."

"I think I want a piercing," he looked thoughtfully at the castle. "Maybe just one in my ear."

"Brave." I nodded. "Hey, Lance?"

"Yeah?" he turned his head.

"I'm never letting you go again."

He raised my hand to his lips and gave the back of it a tender kiss, before pulling me closer in the blanket and catching me in a kiss. His lips were so cold, and so were his palms as they cupped my cheeks, quickly heating up as my cheeks flared. He tucked the same strand of hair behind my ear, just like he always did, his eyes pouring ardour and warmth into my very soul.

"Me neither, baby," he whispered.

With my stomach being tickled by a million butterflies, I leaned my head against his chest and secured my arms around his waist, letting him hold me closer as we gazed beyond the castle. I couldn't let him go at all, even if I wanted to. We saw potential in one another that nobody else did, and from the moment I began accepting my feelings for him, I knew I had to keep him one way or another. And I was so, so lucky that he felt the same. I gently twisted the rings on my finger, running my thumb over the gems and the silver band holding them together, sighing in bliss.

In the end, despite all the night terrors, the intrusive thoughts, and the constant fear that someone was always watching us, we could relate our emotions back to one another, so support never ran out. We'd made friends that'd be kept forever, and as I pressed my nose to the deep bite in his neck, taking in the scent of warm, ocean tides and fresh honey, I knew I'd never let them go either.

"I love you," I whispered, feeling the snowfall get slightly heavier, but we didn't budge. 

Lance looked down as if he was surprised, and a thankful smile stretched his lips. "It's not like you to be so affectionate."

"Just shut up and say you love me too," I grinned, hiding my red cheeks as I pressed my face into his chest. "Idiot."

Lance giggled. "I love you too, idiot."

Ever since I'd gotten to know him, I'd never thought he'd have such a soft core underneath. Sure, he used to be a huge flirt and usually wasn't as selfless as he proved himself to be, but once I found out that he cherished every moment with me, and cared whenever I woke up sobbing my heart out, I was sure I found my forever too. I knew it. I was so proud of him and I knew he was just as proud of me as well. As his fingers trailed through my messy ponytail, and his cold lips gave my forehead a kiss, I truly felt like I could be happy without a single care in the world. There was no doubt about it.

* * *

After a few months in the Capitol, we'd adjusted to their lifestyle and suddenly, we were invited to every single event available. Lance not only managed to get his lobe pierced, but ended up getting his tragus, cartilage, and rook done. In the other, he donned an industrial, and favoured wearing sapphires whenever possible. When I went with him, I was brave enough to get the same piercing Matt did, but of course, I didn't have the pain tolerance to deal with as many piercings as Lance.

Lance was known, very quickly, for his body. And not only that - since Hunk had his own clothing line he let Lance model every single piece for him, and after a week, he featured in every single fashion magazine, and the men and women in the Capitol were  _fawning_ and completely green with envy when they knew he was married to me. He'd flaunt his ring whenever possible, and anytime he was flirted with on his photography set, he'd waggle his dainty fingers and utter "I'm married, sweetheart."

His magazines were delivered to our house all the time, and as much as he hated me reading through them, I did it anyway, purely because they left his body completely bare and free from any airbrushing at all. His scars were absolutely beautiful and he deserved all the love in the world.

Pidge landed a job in the control room and often resided along the Gamemakers, programming for future arenas and earning her very own different Altean status. She worked alongside Lotor, Matt and Shiro, powering the Capitol, organising power, and most of all, figuring out where to put aircraft fleets and other vehicles when needed. She was invited to many formal events and almost accidentally corrupted the entire Galra palace, which would have almost gotten her executed, but Lotor was understanding enough to have the blame put on him.

By the time it was around April, Matt got engaged, and he lived in the castle with Shiro most of the time. He'd visit his family on weekends and bring home another dog to keep the family occupied. Shiro became softer, and apologised to me often. He was even with me on set when Lance had photoshoots done. When I had to pose beside him, Shiro would always try to encourage the both of us, which not only made us laugh, but it made our self-esteem rocket sky-high.

Lola turned five. I went to her birthday party and even made some artwork with her, and she was more than happy to colour it in. Lance was finally recognised for his talent and bravery by his older siblings and was even apologised to by his older brother Dylan. Although Lance still didn't appreciate the insults he got in the past, he was generous enough to forgive him.

Blue grew up into a mischievous cat and loved to bring 'presents,' particularly dried, pretty leaves he'd found on the floor, and place them at our feet as if he was trying to collect everything regarding nature. We placed the leaves in the garden, and he'd always pick them straight back up, and bring them to us as if we'd never seen them before.

My mother and father grew closer than ever before and they needed the time away from me to let their relationship glow, which was perfectly alright with me. They visited often, sometimes bringing food and clothes. Cat toys were also a common gift, but we had plenty of them, and it wasn't like we were begging for more. Nonetheless, my mother healed perfectly, and Lance was very fond of teasing me when she brought up childhood stories.

As for me - I had to step into Shiro's place when the next set of Tributes came along. With Lance beside me, I knew we both had to relive it all over again, but we treated the Tributes with respect. Pulse records contained a decreased amount of hormones. Mates were allowed, but we still gave them a sheer warning that not everything was easy. 

The most rewarding part was sitting at home and waiting for Lance to throw open the front door, because on Friday nights, he always had an excuse to take me out on a date, even though we were married. And I adored every moment of it, because we'd visit places such as tiny cafes, restaurants, and even back to Four's beach, where we laughed so hard we cried, and Lance took his stereo so we could slow-dance on the sand.

We didn't care about the Victor titles, the riches, or the status. Having him was all I'd ever wanted, and I was experiencing happiness I'd never thought I'd be able to have. We all stared, Matt, Shiro, and Pidge included, at the city below, leaning against the castle's balcony railings.

"Hunk went on a date with Shay today," Lance murmured, lifting his Aviator shades onto his forehead. "They're doing so well."

"I knew they would," I grinned. Pidge chuckled, clutching her newly-upgraded laptop close to her chest. 

I leaned my head against Lance's shoulder as Pidge made mindless chatter with her brother and Shiro, mainly about Hunk and Shay's advancing relationship. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Will you pose for me so I can have my own pictures of you?" he asked, the makeup from his last photoshoot still glittering on his cheekbones.

"Why not?" I grinned. "How do you want me?"

"Nude."

I hit his arm playfully, listening to his adorable laughter as it hung in the air like birdsong.

"You're filthy, McClain," I smirked. "But fine, as long as we don't have anyone else nearby."

After all, I'd still managed to fall in love with the stupidly handsome, stupidly smart, and stupidly flexible boy from District Four.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodness i think thats the end of this fic!  
> first of all i'd like to apologise for how long it is, mainly because i never anticipated for the fic to be this long and I really am hoping you guys still enjoyed it nonetheless 
> 
> thank you all so much for reading, and i'm really happy that so many people contributed and gave me ideas and stuff (you know who you are and i love you!)  
> thank you to all who supported me, complimented my writing style, loved how keith said darling when he was drunk, et cetera. youve all made the rest of this fic possible and youve never stopped inspiring me, so thank you again!
> 
> since out of context bonuses are saved for the end, i do have a few ideas (and i may choose two or three depending on the popularity) by both myself and a good friend (you also know who you are <333)  
> please vote for your favourite! you can vote more than once!  
> a) some kind of **keith/pidge/lance** nsfw scenario (you choose, unless you want it in the arena, i dont mind)
> 
> b) **matt/shiro nsfw** in the control room (i know this was also a favourite in the past)
> 
> c) **lotor/matt/shiro nsfw** (i mean, what really happened when they all turned to alcohol in frustration)
> 
> d) **cumslut!Lance/keith/lotor/matt/shiro** (self explanatory, feel free to send a scenario)
> 
> e) **any secondary gender mixup** which means alpha lance, for example (nsfw or not, feel free to send a scenario)
> 
> f) the **actor au** part two, interviews!
> 
> g) **any scenario you like** , whatever you wanna read, just choose!
> 
> thank you all again, and im planning to start on a new modern!au fic quite soon, and id love to see some of you there <3
> 
> if you wanna say hi, my tumblr is pixelpearl!


	73. [BONUS] Little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new addition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since so many of you wanted the kid scenario, here you go! <3  
> (that wasn't a voting option, but i got so many comments about it, i just had to!)

He had the softest, most gorgeous dark hair, which was completely contrary to his personality. His eyes were a mixture of baby blue and amethyst, a light grey-purple, almost pearly underneath sunlight.  His skin was fair, and he had a nose just like Lance's, soft to the touch, and wholly kissable. He learned how to walk quickly, and once he learned how to talk, he had to learn to be quiet - with Lance teaching him a few Spanish words soon after, they had conversations that lasted for hours, and the knowledge he had was limitless. He was so keen to explore, he loved the rain, and most of all, he loved learning how everything worked.

But for now, he was just as mischievous as any other kid was, and although I never grew up with siblings, I recognised my own habits from when I was little because he reflected them  _perfectly_. Whether it was to mine or Lance's dismay, there was always a solution. And now, he was running around the backyard, while Lance and I stood there trying to comprehend what he was carrying.

"Cooper, what are you holding?" Lance cocked his head.

"A  _knife!"_

_"No!"_

Cooper was also very fond of stealing the knife my mother gave me for Christmas a few years ago, mainly because it was beautiful, and he realised that if I hold it, he could too. Only he just turned six, and he only saw it as a plaything, no matter how any times I told him that my knives were  _not_ for babies. I laughed as Lance scooped Cooper up in his arms, took the knife from his tight fist, and gave me a tired look.

"Put it on a high shelf or something," he giggled, passing me my knife back, bouncing Cooper in his arms. "You are trouble."

After all, Cooper was still learning, still growing, and no matter what, he came to us for help with  _anything_. He was also very independent and self-assured, but when it came to friends and family, like Lola, he never hesitated to get involved and be a little sociable.

Lance's mother  _adored_ little Cooper. Lola was now eight years old and Cooper was probably her most favourite person in the world, because he also made artwork with her, and show Lance and I when he was finished. His most favourite things to draw were horses, birds, and mostly us. 

He sat upon the floor while I drew with him in crayon, letting him colour in all my designs, even if I couldn't draw. He didn't know that, purely because he loved every single second of it, and I did too. He'd probably become an artist when he grew up, which would be  _astounding_ , because Lance and I grew up in separate locations, without a proper job, and we transferred to a well-developed area so quickly we didn't have a chance to let our hobbies thrive. All we did back at our old Districts was to survive.

"Whoa, look at you," I smiled, taking the piece of paper out of his excited hands. He crawled into my lap and pointed out every single aspect of what he drew. "You are such a good artist!"

"Can it go on the fridge?" he asked, looking up at me with big, shiny eyes.

"Why not?" I replied. "We'll have to make room because you draw so much."

His smile was so priceless. It warmed my heart.

When it came to the annual Games, it always used to bring back bad memories, like it usually did. Lance and I would attend each meeting as Victors, leaving little Cooper behind, but once he turned seven, he loved hanging around with Pidge and Matt, mainly because they had all the video games and they'd take him downtown to get food. He was so spoiled, but I wanted him to have a better childhood than I did. He deserved every little thing in the world. We'd tell him stories about the Games, but never told him about the violence, or the gory details. Lance still had a silver streak in his hair at the back, and he realised he'd tell Cooper what really happened when he got older.

Cooper was never entered into the Reaping merely because we were Victors, and he was our son, so he was excused from any kind of event related to the Games. We only watched the Games when Cooper was out of the room playing with the cat, or when Pidge took him to walk their dogs around town. I didn't want him to see any of it. I had never been so protective.

Cooper loved Blue. I think Blue loved Cooper more than anyone else in the house because he never seemed to walk away from Cooper when he was approached. I was jealous. Lance was jealous. Our son was a cat whisperer.

When it came to visiting Pidge and Matt, the first time was a little shocking for the both of them, because Matt loved Cooper at first sight and immediately took him upstairs to show every little gadget he had running. Pidge had to comprehend the actual thought of Lance and I having a son, before she realised, and put her head in her hands.

"Alright, I get it," she snorted. "How old is he?"

"He's almost six," Lance grinned, watching Cooper run around the house with Matt. "He's really not that bad at all, he loves technology and art."

So as soon as Matt became Cooper's favourite sibling, Pidge had to compete, and usually, it was with the gadgets she brought home. Soon enough, after visits to the Capitol and persuading Lotor to get into the control room, Cooper managed to get more knowledge about the Games than we ever did. Cooper loved their dog - he loved all animals - and would often ask if he could visit the Holt household to walk it with Pidge when Matt was back at the castle.

"Hey, Coops," Pidge ruffled Cooper's hair and he disappeared inside their house immediately to find Matt, who scooped him up in a big hug. "Back by nine?"

"Yeah," I grinned. "Lance is taking me out to dinner."

"He still does that?" she cooed. Lance was still at home picking an outfit. I nodded. "Man, that's cute."

"No candy after five, for the sake of our sleep," I laughed nervously. 

"Matt has a plan, we're taking Shiro and going downtown to get some cake in a cafe," Pidge grinned. "It's better than ice cream and video games. Cooper, say bye to Keith!"

I waited for at least five minutes, but he was with Matt on the couch watching a documentary on the television. After a while, he came walking up to me and I stooped down to give him a hug.

"Behave." I ruffled his hair. "We'll be back later."

"But I don't want to be back later!" Cooper whined. "I like Pidge's house."

I looked up at Pidge, who was stifling her giggles behind a hand. "You can't stay here, silly."

He did well at school, particularly in science, mainly because Lance and I excelled in it when he was younger. He took art and technology when he turned thirteen, his personality becoming a little more like mine, but his charm never stowed away from Lance's. Friends stuck close to him, merely because he was so unique, and he had 'two cool Victor dads that have wicked scars.'

Cooper was rebellious, just like how I was, but he would always stick to the most important rules. Sometimes he'd stay out a little later, but he'd be back before sundown. He was smart, and always had a way of getting around things. As well as that, he featured in many Capitol magazines by the time he was fifteen. He was fawned over at school, and loved being around friends. He was never afraid of introducing them to us. 

However, as soon as he turned sixteen, and he had his appointment to determine his secondary gender and get his vaccines, he only ever came to see Lance and I if he needed something. Dinner was quiet, no matter how many questions were hurled at him about school, and he even avoided eye contact. When he went up to his room to study, Lance and I looked at each other on the couch, with doubt twisting our stomachs.

Cooper changed his appearance a lot when he realised he was old enough to get piercings, but he definitely didn't go over the top. His hair grew out to be almost shoulder-length, with the left side shaved. He was fond of his snake bites and the two lobe piercings he had in his left ear. Even Lance thought he looked better than he did when he got piercings.

"Is it because he's an Alpha?" Lance asked, watching Blue spring up onto the couch. I shrugged.

"I don't think so. Has he told you anything?" I asked. When Lance shook his head, we decided to go upstairs and talk to him. He had enough respect to close the laptop he was typing on, which was bought by Pidge, and covered in stickers.

"Hey," I grinned, hopping up onto his bed. Lance took the other side. "You're quiet lately."

"Did you want to talk?" Lance asked, one leg swinging off the edge of the bed. Cooper liked to take advantage of Lance's Polaroid and he loved taking photographs of anything that interested him, but the one he had framed was a picture of all of us, which made my heart melt into a happy little puddle.

Cooper shrugged. "I don't know."

"Is school okay?" I asked. He nodded. "Is it someone you like?"

Cooper bit his lip. "When did you realise you liked dad?"

Lance realised this was a private conversation, and before he left the room, he gave my cheek a kiss. I shuffled closer to Cooper and crossed my legs.

"You know how I met Lance," I replied. "I thought I told you."

"You never really told me  _when_ ," he avoided eye contact.

"I wasn't allowed to, in the first place," I began. "But there was a lot going on, so I think as soon as the Games started, that was when I truly saw something unique in him."

"No, like -" Cooper sighed, leaning into my chest. "Nevermind."

It was slightly troubling, but I knew he trusted us, and that was all I could ask for. His grades were fine, and so was his social circle. He knew we supported him, but he didn't really use that to his advantage.

"Okay." I ruffled his hair. I used to have the same conversations with my mom. "Did you want to eat in the city tonight?"

Cooper's eyes beamed. "At that place in the castle with the crystal champagne classes?"

I bit my lip.  _Expensive_. "I'll ask Lance."

"Can everyone else come?" he asked.

"You just want to see what Pidge has built," I laughed. "Yeah, I'll ask, but remember they're all busy."

"Yeah." Cooper grinned. Lance sauntered back into the room and sat down. 

"I heard you're making plans without me."

I snorted, watching Cooper wrestle him onto the bed. Both of them were just like each other.

The dinner was still as lively as it used to be, with Cooper fixing Pidge's tiny computer chip she'd made to enhance the sound on her handheld. He managed to pluck up the courage to speak to us about school, which at least made us happier, and by the time he got home, he was more than happy to play video games with us on the couch.

One day, it seemed as if Cooper completely clammed up. He got nervous whenever he came home, and started taking care of his appearance a lot more. Lance let him share his variety of skincare products, even though he never had a single blemish on his face. It wasn't until he came home from school one day with his cheeks flushed pink, when Lance and I finally got an explanation. He dumped his backpack near the door and Lance and I were sat in the kitchen flicking through his magazine, giggling at his pictures.

"Um," Cooper shuffled onto a chair and twiddled his thumbs. "C-Can I go to the cafe in a city tonight? I have a date."

Lance and I looked up and all of our laughter seemed to cease. "Sure, who's the lucky girl?" Lance grinned.

Cooper scratched the back of his neck, laughing quietly to himself. He seemed so quiet over the past few weeks, and this was probably the reason why. At least now we were getting an explanation.

"I-It's, um," he avoided eye contact. "My date- it- it's a  _boy..."_

Lance and I froze immediately, which really wasn't a good idea, because Cooper suddenly looked as if he regretted telling us anything. But all Lance did was close his magazine and smile; I immediately knew what he was going to do, because he was the master of charm, and if anything, he knew how to impress.

"What's his name?" Lance took out another older magazine. He was allowed to keep the outfits from older photoshoots and he kept them in a separate closet. Cooper seemed to sigh in relief.

"Cyrus," he propped his head up with a hand. "His hair is white-blond and he wears glasses."

He was trying to suppress his urge to gush and I knew, that after tonight, he'd want to tell us all about it. He was getting older, so all Lance and I could tell him was to stay safe. We never restricted him, because how would he learn if we did? 

"Cyrus." I grinned. "And you're going to a  _cafe_?"

"Usually we'd just hang around the park but I want to do something different."

"Alright," Lance rubbed his hands together. "How about we head downtown a little early, go into the jewellers', and I'll let you get him a present."

"You'd do that?" Cooper beamed. "All I wear is dad's leather jacket though."

"Then we'll shop for an outfit too, don't worry," I laughed. "Is this really why you've been quiet?"

"Yes?!" Cooper bit his lip. "It sounds so stupid now, I'm sorry."

"No time for apologies," Lance grabbed his coat. "When's your date?"

"Six."

"We have two hours! Let's go!"

Shopping was a blast. Cooper's style was a mixture between both Lance's and mine so it wasn't hard to find him something to wear. He settled on his own burgundy leather jacket and never seemed to take it off, even when we entered the jewellers' and it was sweltering. He picked out his own gift and Lance was kind enough to pay more for a prettier packaging. He also got a big, thankful hug from Cooper, which was rare.

By the time we got home, Lance helped him apply a small amount of makeup since he insisted on dressing to impress. When he finally finished, Lance placed his hands on Cooper's shoulders, grinning at him in the mirror.

"I think you're done," he said. "Keith? Approval?"

"You're the one that deals with dates," I watched from the bed. "You look great, Cooper."

"Can I bring him back afterwards to show you?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside me. "I think you'd like him. He thinks you guys are awesome."

"Sure thing," I grinned, patting away the dust from one of his shoulders. "Are you ready? Do you have your gift?"

"Yeah," Cooper smiled. "Thank you."

Cyrus had a hairstyle a lot like Matt's, but it was tousled almost everywhere. We walked with Cooper all the way up to the beginning of the street, before he left on his own, giving us a small, nervous wave. I knew he was anxious, but he had Lance's charm. He was capable of anything.

The alone time Lance and I had when we finally returned was treasured immensely. We missed being able to lie in bed in complete silence, warm and bare. Lance even fell asleep for half an hour before he realised Cooper was coming back, which was soon, but not  _too_ soon. We relished the beautiful, blissful silence, with my mind on both him and Cooper, hoping for nothing but the best. He definitely deserved it.

"Lola must be nineteen, right?" I muttered. My eyes were closed, with my head resting against his calmly-heaving chest. Lance hummed in agreement.

"That sounds so weird," he sighed. "At least she wasn't entered for the Reaping. I'd be so scared for her."

"Me too," I yawned, giving his cheek a tender kiss.

The bliss didn't last for long, and we ensured the house as a little more clean before Cooper returned. We both curled up on the couch, giggling at a comedy on the television, with Blue sleeping between my legs. It didn't take long for the door to swing open and Lance lifted his head.

"- but anyway I'm hoping you're not chosen for the Reaping, you live in the Capitol, right?" Cooper threw his backpack onto the floor, and Cyrus followed, both of them giggling like maniacs. "I can't imagine what it must feel like."

Cyrus was wearing the bracelet bought from the jewellers'. At least that went well.

Cooper took a seat on the couch opposite and Cyrus gave us a meek smile, before he sat down, unsure where to place himself.

"You guys are Victors," Cyrus gasped. "What was it like?"

"Hasn't Cooper told you?" I asked. Cooper smiled bashfully. "Cyrus, make yourself at home, Cooper never comes downstairs anyway."

"Hey!" Cooper laughed. "Unfair!"

"What's your cat called?" Cyrus grinned. "He's really sweet."

"That's Blue," Cooper replied.

Eventually, they both went upstairs and all we heard was laughter. He managed to show Cyrus all the gadgets he'd collected from Pidge over the years, and I even let him take out the knife my mother gave me. He was doing anything and everything to win him over, and I thought it was one of the most heartfelt things I'd ever experienced. When it was time for him to go, Cooper gave him a secure hug, and waited until Cyrus was completely out of sight before returning inside.

"So," Lance grinned. "How'd it go?"

Cooper's cheeks flushed. "He really liked the bracelet."

As the evening went on, we all sat in front of the television watching the same comedy, and even scenes from the Games Lance and I were in. Still, we never showed him the proper violence, nor the scene where Matt was killed. His favourites were the chariots, and the outfits, but most of all, how the entire arena functioned.

"Do you think I can work on the arena someday?" he asked. I tiredly lifted my head from Lance's shoulder.

"Where do you think Pidge works? She's one promotion away from being the head Gamemaker."

Cooper grinned. "That's so cool."

By the time we went up to bed, Cooper was already on his laptop working on a software Pidge had sent to him to challenge him. They were such a good team, and even Matt supplied him with help whenever he needed it. I knew he'd land that job. He was definitely smart enough.

"Sleep soon," I watched Lance head into the bedroom and hung around near Cooper's door. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't." Cooper replied.

Lance appeared behind me, sleepily wrapping his arms around my waist and giving the nape of my neck a kiss when Cooper wasn't looking. He closed his laptop and stretched, popping his knuckles just like Lance and I did.

"We're proud of you, Cooper," Lance leaned his head on my shoulder. Cooper lifted his head and laughed quietly.

"Thank you," he smiled. "Night."

As soon as I closed our bedroom door, Lance pulled me over to the bed and pushed me hastily onto the mattress, furiously nuzzling my neck as I writhed and laughed. He knew I was ticklish!

"We can't do  _anything_ ," I giggled, pawing at his chest. "He's in the next room, you idiot."

Lance bit his lip. "Nah, I just missed it when you giggled."

Before we slept, we wrestled one another on the mattress just like we did right after the Games, rolling around on the sheets while his slender fingers attacked my stomach. I was breathless with laughter and the fact that he still managed to make me smile with how spontaneous he was, only made my love for him grow bigger. 

Cooper still had a lot to learn, and knowing that he was fond of learning new things only made it easier. He was a big dreamer, and Lance was so confident in him - if he wanted to be a Gamemaker, then so be it. We couldn't stop him even if we wanted to. Not that we wanted to, of course.

 


	74. [BONUS] Whine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is of the essence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's your matt/shiro nsfw!
> 
> (thank you for almost 700 kudos and 12000+ hits!)

No matter how hard Matt tried to keep himself quiet with Shiro's hand clasping tight over his mouth, he still couldn't help the filthy string of moans that poured out of his lips, stifled against his partner's palm. There were only two hours during the night, from eleven until one, where the control room was completely empty and the cameras rolled silently, because everyone else had gone to sleep. They returned at half-past one, mainly because the arena often went wild when it set itself to automatic, and dangerous events could happen if it wasn't occupied by some sort of professional.

Matt and Shiro were professionals, but for the two hours they had free, they were condensed to just the love they had for each other, and sometimes, the impatient lust stirring up in them that'd been brewing for the past couple of days. They were needed often, mainly because they were so important to the control room team, which meant there wasn't a lot of time to calm the heat and hormones streaming through their veins.

"Be quiet," Shiro drawled, groaning as the fingers he slotted into Matt's mouth were sucked on.

Matt couldn't help it - he _knew_ silence was golden and it'd benefit both him and his job if they weren't caught right now. But the thrill of doing so stirred the lustful fog in his mind so much, he was whining to his hearts content, knowing it'd piss Shiro off. Either way, they were both Alphas, being risky was in their blood.

He was bent over his desk, his screen still displaying half-finished work, the rest of it condensing into gibberish when his elbow was pressed against his keyboard not so long ago. His hands gripped the other edge so tightly his knuckles turned white. Matt had gotten used to being the whiny bottom - but this was one of the few times in the control room that he was actually louder than usual, and it was probably due to the lack of release. Hot pleasure seared through his abdomen and coiled within his bloodstream, filling his head with thick mist. The inability to think straight led him into thinking filthy, unspeakable things, things that he was _sure_ he barely ever fantasised about; now that Shiro was there he could fill Matt with ease and reach all of the right spots, turning him into a whimpering, needy mess, completely contrary to his stubborn, punctual state.

Shiro moved the hand from Matt's mouth and used it to tug his head back by his hair. The immediate sting forced a moan out of Matt's panting lips, and his back bowed as Shiro slammed into him at a punishing pace, as if time was of the essence, which, in some way, it was. Two hours was never enough, and the first hour consisted purely of kissing and grinding. Now, Matt's neck and chest were freckled with deep bites and bruises, and so were his thighs. A red handprint remained on his ass, a mark that seemed almost too territorial for its own good.

Matt let out a choked moan as Shiro's pace quickened, his hands gripping tighter to the desk he was pinned down on, the sting of his hair being pulled delivering bittersweet shivers of pleasure through his body. Incoherent murmurs of both his partner's name and pure gibberish dribbled out of his chapped lips. Matt was on cloud nine, and his pleasure-induced pinkish blush faded onto his cheeks even brighter than before.

Suddenly, as soon as Matt was sure he was going to burst, footsteps echoed from beyond the entrance door and Shiro pulled him up vertically, one arm pressing against his chest. Matt bit his lip, clutching his unbuckled belt and crumpled jeans, barely concealing his underwear. Shiro could tell he was close, too. His convulsions were usually hard enough to make Shiro come, and as Matt quivered against his chest, a hitched breath escaping his lips as Shiro brushed past his prostate, he hoped it was just a false alarm. His partner pulled away gently, haphazardly buckling his belt, leaving Matt unable to walk due to his legs condensing to jelly.

"Come here," Shiro chuckled quietly, scooping the other man up in his arms. They made a break for the other door, exiting swiftly before any trace of them was discovered. Matt whimpered against his chest, the hot pool of blood in his groin making him throb. With the evidence of a knot pressing against his tight jeans, the restriction made him crave relief so much he almost became delirious, and gazed at Shiro, glasses askew, muttering something risqué in his ear.

Matt loved being carried by Shiro. He had muscular, broad shoulders he loved to pepper with kisses and he felt so tiny in his arms. As soon as they made it to Shiro's room at the castle, Matt was softly placed into the bed, his entire body shivering with hormones. He watched his partner sift through his drawer, intrigued to find out what garment appealed to him the most. Once he'd thrown out most of the items in there, he returned to Matt with a pair of comfy-looking black thigh-highs, adorned with a thin white stripe near the top.

"Really?" Matt's cheeks flushed pinker as Shiro pulled off his jeans.

Matt didn't even resist. He let Shiro lift his legs and pull the socks on with so much ease, he was eager to get the pleasure he was craving; he didn't even care how he was going to get it, he just needed it _now._ They could be as loud as they wanted up there. His underwear was tossed to the floor and Shiro gave the tip of his leaking cock a few kitten-licks, leaving Matt unable to keep himself up without quivering.

"S-Sensitive," he whimpered softly, watching Shiro's gentle fingers tenderly rub the section of swollen flesh at the base of his cock. "Nnh- _Shiro_ _..."_

Matt's fingers curled in the sheets, his other hand holding his shirt to his lips to stifle the embarrassingly whiny noises that poured out of his mouth. He watched Shiro's tongue over his glasses, and the way he was so careful around his knot, Matt knew he was pouring every ounce of love and lust into his work.

Matt began quaking all over again, and the blush on his cheeks reddened as he was lifted against the wall, his legs securely wrapped around Shiro's waist. Shiro didn't hesitate and entered Matt immediately, coating his bared neck with wet kisses. His pace began slowly, giving them time to gently, lovingly speed up, their eyes never leaving each other's gaze. Matt smoothed his trembling fingers through Shiro's hair, trailing all the way to the soft fuzz at the back of his head.

"Faster," Matt whispered, nestling his nose into Shiro's neck. The sudden erratic thrusts caused Matt's fingernails to dig in Shiro's skin, scraping deep, red lines down his back. The amount of pleasure he felt earlier was slowly being reformed, and soon he was yelling in ecstasy all over again, feeling Shiro's thickness fill him over and over. His teeth dug into Matt's sweating shoulders, his low whimpers muffled into his hot, flushed skin.

With the tightening coil in his abdomen clenching, he grabbed Matt's waist and started pressing his body down to meet his rhythm, and Matt obliged, bucking and snapping his hips downwards. His lover began to palm the strained head of Matt's cock and he moaned through a bitten lip, his heartbeat becoming erratic as his orgasm drew close. He scratched deeper into Shiro's back, his pace becoming the same hard, quick, punishing pound he received back in the control room.

"Sh-Shit -!" Matt hissed, feeling Shiro suck hard on his fair skin, coating him in more purple love bites. "N-No biting..."

Shiro gave his lover's jawline more nips and kisses, trailing his teeth down to his collarbone to give it a gentle nibble. It wasn't until Matt began whimpering, his voice breaking in complete submission for Shiro, that his partner laid one hand on the wall to fuck him mercilessly. The screams eliciting from Matt's mouth were music to Shiro's ears, as well as the hard _thud_ of their bodies colliding against the wall.

"Come for me," Shiro growled, licking a stripe on Matt's jugular. "Let me hear you scream my name."

A few more thrusts and Matt couldn't dig his nails any deeper. He was on the brink of bursting, the hot pleasure coiling in his stomach.

"More," Matt begged, his legs locking around Shiro's waist. "L-Like that! Sh-Shit, I'm -!"

With a loud, passionate scream of Shiro's name, Matt's back bowed and his head hit the wall as he tensed and came onto Shiro's heaving chest in thick spurts. He whined in content as the knot stretched his cum-soaked walls, grinning tiredly as he listened to Shiro's erratic breaths, knowing he was fully reponsible. Matt let Shiro ride out his own orgasm, whispering praises into his ear as he came down from cloud nine. Then, when their stamina had decreased to next to nothing, Shiro laid Matt down on the bed and removed the socks from his quivering thighs.

"You did really well, for the first time in a while," Shiro smiled, his voice barely a whisper. He pulled Matt underneath the covers and laid his head upon his broad chest. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," Matt purred, kissing Shiro's chest. "Satisfied."

Shivers rocketed down Matt's spine as Shiro's fingers brushed each strand of hair right through to the ends, untangling every single knot until it was smooth. He removed Matt's glasses from him and placed them on the nightstand, before finally letting the tiredness wash over him. Matt, on the other hand, fell asleep as soon as his glasses were taken. He relished Shiro's warmth dearly, and often curled up against him, knowing he'd always be welcomed with loving arms.

Shiro smiled blissfully at his lover, his eyelids slowly drooping. He was so lucky he managed to get into his room on time because Matt truly deserved the pleasure and everything that came with it. With Matt at his side, he tugged him a little closer and let himself fall asleep, knowing that in a couple of minutes, he'd be woken up to carry out arena duties; it wasn't so bad when Matt was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> out of interest - would you guys want to read a separate fic (obviously not as long) of cooper and cyrus's perspectives and stories? :00 tell me what you think haha ♡


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